Elevator buttons and morning air
Strangers' silence makes me want to take the stairs
If you were here we'd laugh about their vacant stares
But right now my time is theirs
Mercedes opened her locker and sighed when she saw a note from Sam sitting right on top of her books. This wasn't the first one, he'd been writing to her at least once a day for the past two weeks. Nothing long or over the top, but enough to leave her smiling for the next few hours-sometimes the rest of the day. She glanced over her shoulder before unfolding it, and there was Sam's scratchy, but legible handwriting.
I'll still be the marshmallow to your chocolate in our graham cracker of love. There's always room for s'more.
She covered her mouth, stifling her laughter, and at the same time, she wanted to cry. He'd said to her one night when she and all of the Evans children were roasting marshmallows and making s'mores on a candle in the motel room. Of course she'd looked at him crazy, but he winked at her, and went about helping Stacy put together the gooey snack like he hadn't said anything at all. Sam had been pulling out all the stops: sending her reminders of their time together over the summer, walking her to class (when Shane wasn't around), holding her books (when Shane wasn't around), saying all kinds of sweet things to her (whether or not Shane was around).
Seems like there's always someone who disapproves
They'll judge it like they know about me and you
And the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do
The jury's out, my choice is you
There were suddenly two heavy hands on her shoulders. "Boo," said the voice, and Mercedes tensed, despite herself. She should be happy to see her boyfriend, not dreading his next appearance.
Quickly crumpling the note in her fist and shoving it into her pocket, she turned to face Shane. "Hey!" She exclaimed over-enthusiastically, almost cringing at how insincere she sounded to herself.
"How's your day going?" He asked, hugging her, pulling her more roughly than he probably intended.
"Great!" There was that over-enthusiasm again. "How's yours?"
"Awesome, boo, Coach Beiste..."
Mercedes tuned him out then, catching words like "football," "NFL," and "scholarship." It's all he ever talked about now. Football and future plans. Future plans she wasn't sure she wanted to be a part of anymore.
Every day, she was finding it harder to be enthralled by anything he had to say, her mind wandering in the middle of conversations. He had a penchant for sports metaphors and while she loved a good game of football or basketball, she didn't need her life choices being evaluated like a recap of the Superbowl.
"That's really cool," she said, offering a warm smile to make up for her monotonous tone.
Shane didn't seem to notice anyway. "Yep, and after that, I'll get you that big house you've always dreamed of."
Mercedes had never said anything about a big house to him. She smiled painfully. "Can't wait!"
"I'll see you at lunch, okay?" She nodded and he leaned down, kissing her gently, but she felt nothing. Had she ever? She knew she shouldn't, but Mercedes couldn't help but compare her kisses with Shane to kisses with Sam-kisses she could remember to the last detail, from pecks to the ones that had her body blazing.
When Shane walked off, that's when she saw him. Standing at the end of the hallway was Sam, staring at her like a kicked puppy.
So don't you worry your pretty little mind
People throw rocks at things that shine
And life makes love look hard
The stakes are high, the water's rough
But this love is ours
Mercedes licked her lips and pulled them in as she watched Sam try to decide if he wanted to approach her after seeing her kiss Shane. He started to turn away, but balled up a fist in determination and faced her again. After taking that first step in her direction, his winning smile replaced the hurt on his face.
She turned back to her locker to switch out her books. The bell was going to be ringing soon. Sam leaned against the locker next to hers.
"What's up, Fluff?" She asked, slightly turning her head to look at him.
"What?" He sounded amused.
"Fluff, you know like marshmallow...nevermind."
His grin broadened. "I see you got my note."
"Yes, I got your note." Mercedes said in a teasing tone as she closed her locker and turned to him, not having to force the smile on her face.
"Walk you to class?" Sam asked, holding his arms out for her books. She handed them over automatically. "Oh, no fight today?"
She sucked her teeth, biting her lip to hold back her grin. This was how it was supposed to be. No false enthusiasm, no pretending like they wanted the same things, and no pretending she didn't still have feelings for her ex. Shane wasn't a bad boyfriend, he was a good person, and she couldn't ignore the fact that the need to remind herself of this was not okay for their relationship. Sam was tearing down her walls all over again and she was running out of energy and the desire to rebuild as they fell.
You never know what people have up their sleeves
Ghosts from your past gonna jump out at me
Lurking in the shadows with their lip gloss smiles
But I don't care 'cause right now you're mine
"You are lookin' mighty fine today, Miss Jones," Sam said, exaggerating his southern drawl, leaning his head toward her.
"Thank you, Sam," Mercedes replied, smiling away from him so she wouldn't blush. He wasn't looking too shabby himself in a pair of dark blue jeans and a tan long-sleeved Henley shirt that stretched over his arms and across his chest just right. Sam had bulked up a little since he was last at McKinley and she definitely noticed. "You look good, too."
"All for you," he said, winking. "How's your day going?"
It was the same simple question Shane asked, but coming from Sam, it felt different. She wasn't dreading the response if she gave an answer he didn't like. Sam wouldn't try to console her by saying that it would pass and they had a future of big houses and brown babies to look forward to. He would just hug her as long as she wanted him, make some corny joke to try to make her laugh, and say things would turn around for the better. Fortunately, she was having a good day.
"Fabulous, I got an A on my history test and found twenty dollars in my jeans this morning."
"Ballerrr," Sam joked, dragging out the word. "So that means you're taking me to dinner, right?"
"Don't push your luck. Just because I didn't fight you today doesn't mean tomorrow will be different."
"Well, I certainly hope that's not the case." His expression changed and Mercedes wanted to take back her words immediately, just to see him smiling again.
The walk to her class wasn't long, just right down the hall. Sam handed her books back and touched her arm. "Can we talk later? Lunch?"
"I have to meet Shane," she said, her words laced with regret.
"Oh yeah...Shane..." He spat the bigger boy's name out like a bad taste in his mouth. Mercedes flinched. "I'll see you in class later. Maybe then." He turned to walk away, but she reached out to him.
"Wait, Sam," she said, her fingertips grazing his back. "I'll try, okay? I'll find you."
He looked over his shoulder at her, nodding with a sad smile. "Alright."
And you'll say
Don't you worry your pretty little mind
People throw rocks at things that shine
And life makes love look hard
The stakes are high, the water's rough
But this love is ours
Mercedes didn't know why she expected anything different. Maybe it was the guilt about her reemerging feelings for Sam, maybe it was the loyalty she felt towards Shane, but here she was, sitting with a handful of football players she barely knew and the girlfriends she didn't like. There were conversations going on all around her, but she wasn't part of any of them-as usual. Finn and Mike were off with Tina and Rachel somewhere. Puck was no where to be found, so she didn't have anyone but Shane at the table. Sam was sitting with Quinn, Artie, Brittany, and Santana.
Drowning out the conversations, Mercedes focused on finishing her hamburger, side salad and tots before standing up and feeding Shane a weak excuse about glee club. On her way out of the cafeteria, she made small talk with Quinn, Artie, and the former Troubletones members, and made a point to purposely, but discreetly, brush her hand against Sam's back just before leaving.
He caught up with her just before she walked into the auditorium, following her to the seats just in front of the stage. They sat down, Mercedes facing forward, Sam looking at her, and neither speaking.
Clearing her throat, Mercedes looked at him. "You wanted to talk?"
"Ah...yeah..." Sam grinned bashfully, rubbing the back of his neck. "How happy are you with Shane?" He asked.
Mercedes recoiled. "Sam, that question is not fair."
"Forget I asked," he said, waving the words away. "Cede...I want you back."
Before now, Sam had already said that to her, but not so plainly, and not so seriously. There wasn't a hint of a smile this time, his eyes were intense and set on her.
"I know," she replied, looking down at her hands.
"Do you, though?" He asked, placing his hands on top of hers. Lacing their fingers together, he stood, bringing her with him.
And it's not theirs to speculate
If it's wrong and
Your hands are tough
But they are where mine belong and
I'll fight their doubt and give you faith
With this song for you
She looked down at their joined hands and then back up at his face as he gazed down at her tenderly. Mercedes didn't know if she could handle what he was about to say. "Sam..."
"No, no, no," he said softly. "I have to say this because if I don't do it now, I'm going to lose my nerve." He chuckled, mindlessly holding their hands up to his chest. Mercedes could feel how fast his heart was beating.
"I didn't think I was ever coming back to Lima. I thought about it-all the time, at first. Because I'd gotten used to being here and made a bunch of friends, but mainly because of you. I spent so much of last year chasing popularity and dating whoever got me up the ladder, which turned out to be a waste of time." Sam laughed bitterly. "We never had a chance to be us in front of everybody. And I wanted that so badly. We were going to have this epic summer, come back to school in the fall, and walk in like-like, I don't know, like superheroes or something!" He explained excitedly, and she laughed when he hugged her. "I felt unstoppable with you, Mercy."
A breath caught in her throat. She'd never been told anything to that degree before. What made it more unsettling was that he made her feel the same way. She couldn't say that about Shane.
"My feelings for you never changed. I thought they were going to go away. I tried to make them go away, but something kept telling me to hold on just a little bit longer. So what are the odds that Finn and Rachel show up in Kentucky with an agenda to bring me back here, back to you? And if I'm guessing right, and I'm pretty sure I am, your feelings haven't changed either. I totally get that you have...Shane...now." Mercedes looked down. "But we never finished, and honestly-I don't know about you, but for me, there's really no end in sight," Sam said, tilting her chin up with his finger.
She met his eyes and saw it all, clear as day. Mercedes had already been comparing what was to what should have been, and this wasn't helping matters at all. It only confirmed what she had been trying to push down deep inside.
'Cause I love the gap between your teeth
And I love the riddles that you speak
And any snide remarks from my father about your tattoos will be ignored
'Cause my heart is yours
"I know that was kind of a lot to unload on you," Sam said, rubbing his neck again. He put his hands on her shoulders. "But...when you're ready, I'll be waiting. Just like I have been." He leaned forward, kissing her cheek softly before backing up, his eyes still locked on her in case she said anything.
"I...I'll...I'll see you in class..." Mercedes stammered, trying to take in everything. She started making her way out of the auditorium.
Sam nodded. "Until then..." He called from behind her with a flourish of his hand, getting a small smile out of her. Same old, Sam.
Shane was walking toward her when she came through the double doors. "Hey, got everything straight?" He asked, kissing her cheek opposite the one Sam had his lips on moments earlier.
"Yeah, it's all good," she said. They started walking down the hallway, hand-in-hand. Mercedes' thoughts, however, were wrapped around the one fighting to get her back, and how they never got to do this-how she wanted to do this...with Sam.
Shane caught her arm as she started walking into the classroom without saying goodbye. "I don't get a hug or anything?" He asked, holding his arms out.
"Oh sorry," Mercedes mumbled, walking into his embrace. Sam slipped past the two and into the room, taking his seat in the chair next to where she usually sat. Shane gave her hand one last squeeze before heading down the hall.
She hadn't seen him pass so when she spotted Sam sitting there smiling at her, a flash of confusion went across her face, but she took her seat.
Before the teacher shut the door, Sam stretched a leg out and tapped her desk with his foot, looking at her, concerned.
So don't you worry your pretty little mind
People throw rocks at things that shine
And life makes love look hard
Don't you worry your pretty little mind
People throw rocks at things that shine
But they can't take what's ours
They can't take what's ours
Mercedes remembered the wrinkled note in her pocket.
"The marshmallow to your chocolate..."
She smiled at the memory, then turned to Sam, giving him a little wave. She was in deep trouble.
She wanted him back.
The stakes are high, the water's rough
But this love is ours