Fall Into Me

by Contaminatedcircus

Chuuya fell on his knees at the open front door. Dazai's car was gone. Again. He'd been left behind. Again. "Y-you left me again.." He laughed sadly. He shakily walked over to the bed, plopping down. He grabbed his phone and called his best friend, Ryuunosuke Akutagawa. OR The college AU in which Dazai is an ass, but Akutagawa and Atsushi are there to pick up the pieces.

1. Safe & Sound

Narrator's P.O.V.

Chuuya fell on his knees at the open front door. Dazai's car was gone.

Again.

He'd been left behind.

Again.

He ran in the house, looking through all the drawers, Dazai's clothes and necessities were all gone as well. Tears rolled down his face. "Y-you left me again.." He laughed sadly. He shakily walked over to the bed, plopping down. He grabbed his phone and called his best friend, Ryuunosuke Akutagawa.

After a couple of rings, the other answered in a sleepy voice but Chuuya blurted out, "He left me again!" His voice was hoarse from crying, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

Ryuunosuke jerked the covers off, slipping on clothes as he talked. "Where are you, Chuuya?" He was aware his voice was calm to the other, but in the otherwise silent room, his movements reverberated off the four walls. He knew he would wake the other up, but he didn't care.

Chuuya let out a pathetic sounding sob, "I'm at home... W-well, my home now," he continued to sob. "You don't have to come Ryuu, I'll get over it. He'll come back... Probably, he usually does... I just needed someone to keep me level-headed..." He angrily wiped his tears away, but they kept coming, "He always comes back... Right?"

Ryuu's chest ached at the heartbreak coming from the other end of the phone. This was not the first phone call he had received. These situations had been occurring for the past year, but Chuuya had only started reaching out to him a mere three months ago.

Ryuu slipped around the bed to place a kiss on the mouth of the other in his bed. The body responded automatically, purple-gold eyes looking up in worry. Ryuu shook his head before grabbing the keys and slipping his shoes on. "I'm coming, Chuuya. I'll be there in a few minutes. Please don't drink more than one bottle of wine. I'll be there, and we can watch some movies, cook some pasta, whatever you want to do. As long as you only drink one bottle. I'll stay on the phone while I'm driving, okay?" He slid into the driver's seat and fired up the engine of the black car. He had forgot his coat, but he didn't need it. Tires squealed as he rolled out of the garage and onto the main road. He tucked the phone between his head and shoulder as he put his seatbelt on. "What are you doing right now, Chuuya?"

Chuuya was silent for some time before answering, "I'm just laying in bed..." His voice was quiet, unnervingly so. Silent tears continued to fall. He couldn't do this anymore, it hurt. So much, he didn't know how much more his heart could take. Why was he still waiting for someone who didn't love him? He'd given everything to the man, only to be dismissed in such a hurtful manner. His eyes were dead, Dazai had succeeded in breaking him, his proud spirit nowhere to be found.

Tthe most worrisome thing?

Chuuya wasn't spouting profanities, wasn't crying loudly.

He'd given up.

Ryuu's eyes narrowed at the silence on the other end. He didn't know what was going on. Chuuya hadn't mentioned anything about promising to limit himself. Maybe he had already passed one bottle, maybe three? Ryuu's teeth clenched as he put his emergency flashers on and flew down the road. Chuuya's house was twenty minutes from his and the car couldn't have been going slower. His hands clenched on the steering wheel. "Talk to me, Chuuya." His voice was stern, a bit shaky but he doubted Chuuya would notice it in his state.

A small hum ensued on the other side. "Don't worry Ryuu, I haven't drunk anything..." His voice was still soft. He looked at the veins on his forearm. He wondered if it would be painful to slice them open, his eyes sparked a bit in fascination before the spark died again.

He pulled a knife out from under his pillow. "How far away are you Ryuu?" He asked softly, twirling the knife in his free hand.

He put his phone on his shoulder and leaned his ear against the speaker so he could hear the other. He brought down the knife on the opposite arm and cut a line. "It didn't hurt at all," he mumbled, almost confused, and sliced again – deeper this time.

Ryuu could feel tears falling, could see the lines blurring on the road. He couldn't keep his emotions in check. "GODDAMMIT CHUUYA. DON'T. CHUU-" his voice broke and a coughing fit ravaged his throat. His hands shook but he kept driving. He was passing trees that were close to Chuuya's road. He knew how Chuuya was, knew how he got when Dazai would leave. "Chuuya, p-please don't," his voice broke on every syllable and he was surprised he could even talk from the tightness in his throat. "I'm a few minutes away. Chuu-" another coughing fit. He stilled his fit with the back of his hand. Chuuya didn't need to hear his coughing fits right now. It would only drive him further to the edge.

"Chuuya." his voice was soft but stern. "Don't." There was a commanding tone to his voice now. He needed Chuuya alive and if this is how he had to talk to his superior then so be it.

Chuuya dropped the knife at Akutagawa's cough, slicing his leg on the way down. "Ryuu... Did you take your medicine before you left your house?" His voice held some authority. He was worried about the other.

Like Ryuu was worried about him...

He shook his head, he was being so stupid! "I'm sorry Ryuu, I-Im not thinking clearly this was stupid, I'm not doing anything else. I'm so sorry..." The emotion was back in his voice, forcing his voice to crack. He sobbed again. He tried to get up but realized he couldn't stand on his leg. "Ryuu, I dropped the knife and sliced my leg pretty good... I think I need stitches..." He pulled the comforter off the bed and applied it to his leg. He then pressed his bleeding arm down on the blanket, repeating his apologies like a mantra to the other.

Ryuu deflated. Okay. Okay. Breathe now, Akutagawa. "Pick up the belt from the floor beside you where I know you left it. Wrap it around your leg. I'm turning on your road now." Relief was evident in his voice, but the sternness continued. He could take his medicine at Chuuya's house, he needed to get there now. "Oh, and Chuuya? Quit apologizing. It's not your fault. Do what I say and you'll be fine until I get there. I'm not upset with you, okay? I promise. I just need you to make a tourniquet for me. When I get to your house, I'll come get you and take you to the car so don't move from where you are either." His voice continued to hold the stern tone.

Chuuya nodded and then remembered the other couldn't see him. "Okay, thank you Ryuu," he sniffed and reached down beside his bed, pulling the belt up and wrapping it around his leg like he was told. He had lost a good bit of blood and felt queasy. He forced himself to stay awake. "Can you keep talking to me? I need an anchor." Chuuya summoned his gravity and used it to pull Ryuu's meds from his bedside table. Once they were in his grasp, he let out a breath, "I have your meds, I don't want you to forget to take them just because of my stupidity..."

"Shut up, Chuuya." His tone was soft, no threat involved. "I'm here now," Ryuu pulled up and had Rashomon throw him up to the front door. Using the key, he opened the door and called out, "I'm here, Chuuya!" He ran up the steps, into the bedroom and ignored the blood on the bed. He saw the other's eye lids dropping and stood in front of him. Without a warning, knowing he was probably overstepping his boundaries now but not caring, he brought his hand up and smacked the other.

In the awakened stun he received in response, he apologized. "I'm sorry, Chuuya. But I need you to stay awake." Using Rashomon as stability for Chuuya to lean against, he pulled the other's pants on him and jerkily buttoned the shirt that had remained on the floor. Without another moment's hesitation, he darted out the door with Chuuya in his arms.

He sat Chuuya in the passenger seat, making sure he could keep his eyes on Chuuya for the ten-minute ride to the hospital. He buckled the other in and tossed himself across the car to slide in the driver's seat. He blared the radio, the sound echoing off the car. Squealing tires, he sped out of the road with his emergency lights on. Let the police follow them. He wasn't stopping.

Chuuya's hand was held tight around the medicine bottle. He carefully opened the bottle and took two little white pills out. He was in a daze but determined to give the other his medicine, "Ryuu... Open up. I have your meds," he was almost robotic, but at least he was awake. Once the other had swallowed his medication, Chuuya let his body relax. "How are you and Atsushi doing?" Chuuya was trying to keep himself awake by making conversation. He was also genuinely curious about his best friend's relationship. He knew they had been dating for almost a year and had approved of Atsushi within the first three months.

Ryuu cringed at the sudden change in topic, but his cheeks blushed at what he knew would keep Chuuya awake. He cringed. Keeping his eyes on the road, his hands tightened on the wheel as he answered, "We are good. He wants to go shopping...to...a...a...uh..." he hunched his shoulders, trying to hide his blush.

Chuuya raised an eyebrow and smiled faintly, "A what, Ryuu?" His voice held a teasing tone. He knew what the other was getting at, but liked to see him embarrassed.

The other cringed openly now. He knew Chuuya would have fun with this. Too much fun. But he needed the other awake and he knew no other way to keep him responding. "A...a..." he mumbled. "A sex store," his blush extended to every part of his body as the words left his mouth.

Chuuya tilted his head to the side, putting all of his concentration on their conversation so he didn't fall asleep. "Ohh, sexy lingerie? I know a good store for that~. I also know a good one for toys, you guys can go to a bunch, I'll make sure to text Atsushi the addresses for both of them~." His voice held mockery, but Ryuu could notice the exhaustion seeping through and he pushed his car further.

Ryuunosuke blushed even darker at the words he had to say. "Um...since we...uh...have no idea...about...those..things..." he rushed the last words out. "Atsushiwantedyoutocomewithus." He scrunched his shoulders up even higher to try to hide his blush.

Chuuya laughed tiredly, "That's just perfect! I get to document this shit!" He was dying in the passenger's seat. He didn't realize that his words were slurring, that he was starting to fall asleep. He leaned back against the seat and sighed. He was listening to Ryuu talk but couldn't understand anything that was coming out of the other's mouth.

Ryuu drew the car up to the hospitals entrance, parking it and ran to the other side to grab Chuuya. He kept pinching the other awake. Chuuya was barely acknowledging the other but Ryuu ran with it. A doctor came in and immediately grabbed Chuuya. "Be careful with him!" He yelled out as his body sagged. A nurse came up to him to get Chuuya's information for treatment, but Ryuu could barely focus. As soon as the nurse took a step away, he ran out the door and back into the car.

His body was shaking but he drove it to the parking lot where he parked it. He pulled out his phone and called Atsushi. The time between rings was agonizing and he shook. As soon as Atsushi's voice sounded, he broke. Atsushi kept him on the phone while he got his clothes on and spun the tires out of the driveway. Atsushi didn't care that the other was sobbing, he was happy there wasn't silence on the other end. He stayed on the phone for the full forty-minute drive, speaking reassurances calmly into the phone.

When Ryuu saw the blue car pull up, he dug his head further into his arms, hiding his wrecked face. Atsushi parked next to Ryuu and stepped out of his car. He knew Ryuu left the doors unlocked. Sliding into the passenger side, he shut the door and ran his fingers through Ryuu's hair. As soon as the arms untangled from the steering wheel, Atsushi jumped into them, his legs straddling the other as his arms wrapped around the neck in front of him. Sobs continued to crash through Ryuu as Atsushi held him.

Two hours later

Chuuya's P.O.V.

Chuuya woke up feeling groggy. He went to sit up when he noticed his wrists and ankles were strapped to the bed. He could feel panic sinking in. He started tugging on them when a pain shot up his arm. He didn't know where he was, he started thinking back to the events that must have led to this. Then he remembered.

He was in the hospital... Dazai left and he... He did something stupid.

He hung his head in shame.

A doctor came in and looked at Chuuya. He had short blonde hair and looked to be around thirty. He held up his hands in a sign of peace. "I'm glad to see you're awake," a smile graced the doctor's features. "I'm Dr. Kobayashi." He walked tentatively forward, waiting for the patient to stop him.

Chuuya stopped his struggling and looked at the doctor cautiously. "Will you release me please? I get anxiety tied down..." He was embarrassed to admit it, but he needed to be free of these restraints, if the doctor didn't release him, he'd get out himself.

The doctor nodded. "Of course, of course," he walked up to the bed and unhooked the restraints. "Now, I have a few questions if you wouldn't mind answering them for me?" Up close, Dr. Kobayashi's eyes looked blue but were almost brown from far away. How? Chuuya didn't know.

Chuuya rubbed his newly freed wrists and nodded. He refused to look at the doctor now, he was ashamed. "What do you need to know?" He wondered where Ryuu was, was he okay? He knew he put a lot of unnecessary stress on the other and felt horrible about it.

The doctor sat in the chair next to the hospital bed. He sat the clipboard on the windowsill behind him. He put on a smile hoping to calm the other. "Do you feel safe at home?"

Chuuya frowned, feeling patronized. He knew that wasn't what the doctor was going for, but it felt that way. "Yes, I am perfectly safe at home, just a momentary lapse of judgement I assure you." His eyes grew dark as he spoke. He remembered how broken Ryuu had sounded, had sounded, he could never do that to him again.

Dr. Kobayashi nodded, having heard that same statement over and over again. Continuing, he asked in a clear voice, "Does this happen often?"

Chuuya shook his head, "The situation does yes, but the result," he gestured to himself, "no..." He hated these questions, he just wanted to go home.

The doctor nodded, carefully keeping his expression in check. "And how often do these situations occur? Does anyone know about these situations?"

"About every few weeks or so? Sometimes within a matter of days.." He thought of Ryuu, his best friend that had to listen to him cry often over someone who would never love him. Ryuu had been a trouper. He needed to remember to thank him for staying with him. He needed to thank Atsushi too for allowing Ryuu to be friends with him and for also supporting him. "My best friend and his boyfriend know, they know some of it anyway," his fingers formed a fist and he clenched it tight.

The doctor nodded. "Considering the situation is continuous, we have two choices of action we can take. One, we can refer you to an institution. Or two, have someone you trust stay with you." His voice was gentle, having been through this multiple times. "We can prescribe medication that won't interfere with your daily medications until you visit with your primary doctor. Which situation would you rather have?"

Chuuya frowned at the options. He didn't need anyone to take care of him, he was more than capable. But he resigned himself, he didn't need to be on the run, he had college after all. "I won't stay here, so I guess I'll need someone to watch over me."

Someone he'd quickly have leave once he was at home.

He felt cautious about medication, the only one he was taking was an insomnia medication. "I don't know how I feel about the medication... Do I have to take it?" The hesitation was evident in his ears.

"It is highly recommended that you take the medication, however, we will not be there to ensure that you do. As it is, who will be watching you?" A pause. "Would it be the person who brought you in today?"

Chuuya frowned. He had no one other than Ryuu as Kouyou was in France on business. He hoped the other's boyfriend wouldn't be upset at the prospect. He never wanted to cause problems in his best friend's relationship. "He's the only option I have, so if he doesn't mind... And of course, his boyfriend can't mind either..." Hopefully, though he doubted it, Ryuu would let him be on his own again, even if it was against the doctor's orders.

Dr. Kobayashi nodded, a bright smile ensuing as he said his last words. "Wonderful. Well, we will get the prescription ordered, send in the two in the waiting room, and get your papers then you'll be ready." He got up from the chair, picked up his clipboard, and left the room after throwing a final smile over his shoulder.

Chuuya's frown deepened and he picked at the bandages on his arm. Atsushi was here too? He really fucked up. He'd scared and hurt Ryuu and he never wanted that to happen. He bit his lip as he waited for his friends to come in and berate him, he did deserve it after all.

Narrator's P.O.V.

A doctor came out into the waiting room. "Family of Nakahara Chuuya?"

Ryuu jerked up, his legs almost failing him as he threw himself forward before Atsushi steadied him with a hand around his waist. It was Atsushi who responded. "Yes?" His voice was calm, sending soothing tones through their bond to his alpha.

Although Atsushi had never heard of betas, omega's, or alpha's, his tiger seemed to be able to bring out the secondary gender whenever he bit them. Only a few select stories had been heard about secondary genders but it wasn't common, therefore, no one ever believed in its existence. When Atsushi had bit Ryuu during a heated session, everything had come to a halt and they had to have a discussion in the living room, one person on the opposite wall as the other. They hadn't trusted themselves, and it was for good reason.

He rubbed circles into the hip his hand sat on. Ryuu visibly relaxed and Atsushi could focus completely on the doctor's words.

"He will need someone to stay with him, he doesn't want to be institutionalized. We will send a prescription of medicine home with him as well. He has requested that-"

Ryuu's brain couldn't move past the first half of the doctor's words. "I'll stay with him!" His words were rushed and chipped.

The doctor laughed softly. "He has already requested that you stay with him," the doctor looked at Atsushi once more. "Are you this man's boyfriend?" a finger pointed to Ryuu.

Atsushi nodded with a polite smile. "I'll be staying as well, of course. He will be in good hands. Thank you, doctor." Atsushi's voice was respectfully professional and he gave a slight bow, tugging Ryuu with him. Jerkily the other followed suit.

"When will we be able to see him?" Ryuu's voice barely waited before his body straightened from the bow.

The doctor smiled at the two. "You can go in. Just be sure to get a pass from the front. They will also tell you what room he is in," and with that, the doctor left.

Atsushi drug Ryuu to the front desk, gathering their passes and Chuuya's room number. Ryuu was the one to tug Atsushi as he turned from the desk with the information. Ryuu's eyes were wide, searching the halls for the numbers he needed. It didn't take long for Ryuu to find the room and would've barged in had Atsushi not pulled him back. "Baby. He's okay." Silver hair swayed as he smiled and placed a kiss to Ryuu's cheek. Ryuu's shaking hands gripped Atsushi's hard as he stared into those calm eyes. Finally able to control his breathing, he walked in.

Chuuya looked up at the intrusion. "Ryuu..." He smiled weakly then looked to the other, "Atsushi," he was being very careful, his tone soft. He knew he had done wrong and was hoping to correct it. He'd made a mistake, one that had really hurt his friend and now said friend had to babysit him for it, his cheeks lit up in an embarrassed flush.

Ryuu came around to sit in the chair where the doctor had once been. Immediately he noticed the straps and anger shot through him. Getting up, he ripped them off the railings and sat them on the counter on the other side of the room. Turning around, he felt relief flood him. His legs brought him to Chuuya as if he were on air. As he stood before the other, he found his hand running its fingers through the red curls. Atsushi had taken up to leaning on the footboard of the bed, a smile on his face.

"How are you feeling, Chuuya?" Atsushi's voice was soft, speaking for the both of them.

Chuuya leaned into Ryuunosuke's warmth and smiled at Atsushi in thanks. His voice still soft and unsure he answered, "I'm okay.. thank you both for being here... I really appreciate it." He curled his fingers around the fabric in Ryuu's coat. He wanted to cry, he was so stressed out, he'd been dealing with this for so long and only told his two friends the bare minimum. He closed his eyes and let out a shaky sigh, "I know I'm asking a lot, but could you sign me out? I don't want to be here... You don't have to stay and watch over me like the doctor said... I'll be fine on my own." He tried to keep his voice strong for the two in the room, not wanting to put them through his nightmares and heart ache.

Those were the only words Ryuu needed to hear. "Like hell I'm leaving you," he scoffed out. Swiftly, he lifted the other. There were bandages around Chuuya's wrists and elbows, his leg wrapped as well. He could feel Chuuya tighten his hold on his coat that Atsushi had thankfully brought and he felt his chest tighten with protectiveness.

He heard a mumbled, "Thank you." The raven pulled Chuuya closer, Ryuu's head resting on the red curls. Atsushi watched from behind, fondly looking on at the two before him. He felt the instinct of alpha envelop in his chest through their bond and knew it stemmed from Ryuu. Folding his hands together, he followed after the two to the front desk.

Chuuya hated hospitals, he was only ever stuck in them when he was in that god-awful corruption mode. They had been instructed to perform various experiments and tests on him and now he had an aversion or a fear of them. He breathed in Ryuu's scent and calmed down, knowing it would help him. He pulled one hand out of Ryuu's coat and reached for Atsushi, who was trailing behind them, not wanting him to be left out. The other also made him feel comfortable, he wanted both of them close.

Atsushi's eyes widened at the hand stretched behind Ryuu. The missing hand from his coat hadn't gone unnoticed to Ryuu and in a worried state, he glanced down to see if Chuuya was still conscious. The outstretched hand shocked Ryuu but he smiled for the first time in what felt like ages. Warmth enveloped his chest as he saw a gloved hand reach out to tangle fingers with bandaged ones.

A blush made its way to Atsushi's face and he felt the protective streak consume him as well. Caught up in the moment, he softly kissed the back of the hand before walking ahead of them, making sure to let other's know they weren't here for negotiation. Chuuya wasn't comfortable here and Atsushi was NOT about to have the other suffer longer than he already had that night.

Meanwhile, Chuuya blushed at the kiss on the back of his hand and buried his face as deep as he could into Ryuu. He pulled his hand back in and tangled it into the front of Ryuu's jacket. No one had ever treated him that gentle before and he was overwhelmed. A small whine escaped his mouth at his embarrassment. Then he remembered, they were still in the hospital. He kept his eyes closed and hid from the world, as much as he could in Ryuu's warm arms. He was so lucky for these two.

Ryuu tightened his hold on Chuuya, the whine worrying him. Atsushi's stride grew longer and more rushed as he reached the front desk. The doctor had left the papers there, so all Atsushi had to do was sign them out and set up a checkup appointment for a month from today. With the check out papers in hand, Atsushi led the way to the car.

Ryuu leaned down and whispered softly into the red curls. "Chuuya, where would you like to sit?"

"Not alone, please.." he mumbled. He couldn't handle being alone at the moment. He'd dealt with this on his own for far too long and now he NEEDED help, it was a necessity. Otherwise, he may just go off the deep-end again. He wasn't sure his friends could handle that though.

Atsushi laid a hand on Ryuu's arm. Silent communication passed and Ryuu nodded his head. Atsushi opened the back door and waited until the two of them were inside before shutting the door behind them.

Chuuya sighed in relief at the familiar environment of Ryuu's car.

Ryuu was busy buckling the two of them up while Atsushi slipped into the driver's seat of Ryuu's car. Starting the car, he made sure everyone had their seat belts on. The picture in the back had his heart swelling with warmth.

Chuuya's body instinctively curled into Ryuu's warmth. His eyes were still closed and his body relaxed. He could feel the hospital stress melting away from his bones. Though he still had stress about his Dazai predicament, he'd deal with that at a later point. He wanted to feel Ryuu's hands in his curls again, it was comforting. He felt dirty though, in serious need of a shower and couldn't think of a way that he could get one. He wasn't allowed to walk on his leg or stand on it, not that he could anyway. He frowned, he didn't want to burden the two more than he already had. He'll just use his gravity, he couldn't believe he had forgotten about that. Problem solved and in response he let a puff of air pass through his lips. "Thank you both for getting me out of there... I really appreciate it."

Ryuu smiled down at the other. His fingers immediately ran through the other's hair. He could feel the grime in the other's hair and decided to taunt softly. "Chuuya. You need a bath." he could feel the other stiffen. "Don't worry, it's okay," the implication of help was there, a soft question.

Chuuya nodded slowly, "I do feel gross... If you don't mind," he hated feeling incapable of doing anything. He hated that he needed help. He felt the car roll to a stop and opened his tired eyes. They were at his house. He frowned at the thought of blood staining his bedroom. He'd have to see it, his bathroom had the biggest bath and shower in the house after all.

Ryuunosuke felt Chuuya stiffen and he shook his head. "Trust me, Chuuya." His voice held a tone of humor. Opening the car door, he lifted Chuuya in his arms and stepped out. He could feel the hands tighten instinctively in his coat and he used a hand to turn the other's face into his chest. He gave a grateful smile to Atsushi who blushed and looked down at the unspoken praise. He heard the steps behind him as he opened the door to Chuuya's house and walked inside. Taking the steps two at a time, they walked through the bedroom – Ryuu careful not to look at the bed. Thankfully, not a noise was uttered from Atsushi's mouth.

Walking into the bathroom, Atsushi shut the door behind them. Ryuu sat Chuuya on the counter and picked up the hairbrush, trying and failing miserably to gently brush out the messy curls. Silver hair moved as he shook his head; Atsushi pried the brush from Ryuu's hand and began sectioning off the hair as he brushed. After a few minutes the tangles were gone and Atsushi smiled at Chuuya before turning and heading to the tub. Grabbing the lavender scented bath salts, he sprinkled it in the bottom of the tub and continued to ready the water, keeping his face and body turned from Chuuya as Ryuu helped Chuuya undress. The raven's touches were light as he took off Chuuya's clothes. without hesitation he unwrapped the bandages and set them in the trash.

There was a cut on Chuuya's arm that had minimal stitches while the cut on his lower thigh was deeper, requiring more stitches. Atsushi went to stand at the opposite side of the room, the bath ready and the lavender scent overtaking the bathroom. Ryuu lifted Chuuya once more and sat the other in the warm bath.

Chuuya sent a smile to the two in gratitude. His smile was honest and full of love. "Thank you both," he said simply before he gravitated the shampoo to him and squeezed some onto his hand. He lathered it gently into his curls, massaging his head. He trusted these two and while he was embarrassed that Ryuu had undressed him in front of Atsushi, he needed help. "Could one of you help me rinse this out of my hair?" His voice was soft, painting his voice in shame.

Charcoal eyes widened, knowing his hands weren't steady enough to make sure the soap didn't get in the other's eyes. It wouldn't have been the first time that it had happened, either and he knew Chuuya remembered the numerous times it had happened. As if in preparation, Chuuya gravitated a washrag over to him, placing it over his eyes. Atsushi's scoff sounded from behind Ryuu and he heard soft footsteps approach. Their shoulders brushed together as Atsushi passed but those purple-gold eyes always had more of an effect than a touch from the other. He kept his gaze steady on the other, blush lightly covering his cheeks as he watched Atsushi peel the washrag off Chuuya's eyes with a smile.

"You won't need that with me." A soft laugh escaped before he began rinsing the shampoo out, hands massaging the head lightly.

Chuuya smiled gratefully, "Thanks, I really appreciate it." He sent a teasing smile over at Ryuu. He let out a pleasant sigh as Atsushi carefully rinsed the shampoo out. His fingers were soft on his aching head and it felt wonderful. Once the process was done, he gravitated the conditioner over and asked Atsushi if he minded helping once more, "Can I borrow you once more Atsushi?"

Meanwhile, Ryuu had left the bathroom. Atsushi didn't give much thought about it, knowing he was headed down for warm towels from the many times Ryuu had done this for him. What Atsushi didn't know, however, was that the raven was starting to clean the bedroom, throwing the bloodied comforter, sheets, and pillow cases to the floor.

Bringing the bedding with him downstairs, he started the comforter in the bottom washer as he threw the sheets and pillow cases in the top washer. It was moments like these that Ryuu thanked the extravagant redhead for his inability to keep up with when he needed to wash clothes, hence having two washers and two dryers. Chuuya absolutely refused to mix his fabrics and colors; it was a painstaking process to separate Chuuya's clothes.

He was about to bring his hand up to his face when he saw the dried blood on his hands and froze. He didn't allow his emotions to overtake him just yet – there was still more he needed to do. He sighed a breath of relief when he noticed there were towels left in the dryer. Restarting it, he turned and thought about his next course of action.

Deciding he needed a shower before starting anything else, he headed off in the direction of the downstairs bathroom.

Upstairs, Atsushi smiled brightly, glad to be of help. Grabbing the conditioner from Chuuya's hand, he poured a bit in his hands and began to massage it into the hair in front of him. "You don't have to ask Chuuya-san."

Chuuya sighed in contentment, "Just Chuuya?" He asked hopefully. He liked this kid, a lot and didn't feel that honorifics were necessary. He felt happy that Ryuu had someone like this in his life, if not a little jealous. He pushed it down, Ryuu had done everything for him, he shouldn't feel that way.

Once the conditioner was done, he levitated the body wash to him and carefully washed his body. Once everything was done he drained the water and tried to stand shakily. The water was an icky brown from the washed away blood, and he tried not to look at it.

Noticing Chuuya trying to stand, Atsushi pulled down a towel from the closet and spread it out over the sink. Carefully, he lifted the other in his arms – surprised at how weightless the other felt. Flashing a smile, he sat Chuuya down and immediately turned back to the tub. Using the shower head, he cleaned the tub before starting another bath – a cleaner one. He kept his back turned to Chuuya as he dumped a few handfuls of bath salts into the tub and watched the water begin to fill up the tub.

Remembering the radio above the sink, Atsushi walks over and cuts it on – immediately hearing a song he adored. He turned back to the tub humming and before long he was singing without knowing it. "...we are the sand in the bottom half of the hour glass-glass..."

Chuuya smiled when Atsushi began singing, starting to feel even more comfortable with the other. His smooth voice filtered in, "I try to picture me without you but I can't~." He was having fun and this kid had a nice voice. Though, he knew he needed to stop calling him a kid because he really wasn't one.

Atsushi's body jumped at the sound of Chuuya's voice and his mouth gawked open at the tub. He was mesmerized. Feeling self-conscious, he stopped singing and humming altogether. His eyes remained glued to the tub. He was thrown back to his days in the orphanage. There was no music played there, he hadn't been exposed to music until Ryuunosuke had begun playing the radio as he was cooking for them for their first date.

Chuuya stopped singing, turning to look at the now silent one. A small smile graced his features as he remembered his first time singing, how Kouyou would refine his voice even further. He found himself wondering what Atsushi's first experience singing was like. He could feel the tension from the other and knew where it stemmed from. He wasn't allowed to have error when he was Kouyou, so he understood the pressure of a constant assessment of voice. "Your voice is beautiful," he said simply, but the honesty underlying his tone was prevalent.

Atsushi's blush was instantaneous. It covered his cheeks, neck, and the tips of his ears. He hunched his shoulders to try to hide his burning body. "T-thanks Chuuya-sa-Chuuya." He blushed harder as he tried to stammer out his words and forgetting to ignore the honorific. His voice gained strength as he voiced what his worry was. "But my voice doesn't compare to yours," his voice was soft, a bit of insecurity seeping out.

Chuuya frowned at the envy in Atsushi's voice, somehow the silver haired boy's remark gave him more understanding about the man who laid with his best friend every night. "Your voice is beautiful! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise." He gave a pause, trying to figure out his next words. "How about this, we're equals," he shivered, the water had begun drying and he was getting cold.

Atsushi's sharp hearing caught onto the chattering teeth as the other shivered. His eyes widened in shame. How had he forgot that Chuuya wasn't wearing clothes?! He was busy worrying about his insecurities. Stupid Atsushi! He quickly turned off the water, turned and picked up Chuuya and sat him in the bathtub, gushing out apologies. He was an awkward mess and he hated how Chuuya was seeing him right now. Sure, they'd met before, but it wasn't near as "intimidate" as it was right now. Atsushi had never had to put someone else in a tub.

Chuuya shook his head and sighed at the warm water. Before he dipped his hands in, he ruffled Atsushi's hair, enticing a deep red blush to cover the other's cheeks. "Thanks!" Sure, he was embarrassed about the lack of clothes, but he really appreciated the other's help. "Ryuu's taking quite a while isn't he, I wonder what he's doing..." he pondered aloud.

He smiled at the slight worry Chuuya had in his voice at the missing Ryuu. "He's warming up towels." His voice was very warm, imagining the many times Ryuu had done it for him. Unknowingly, he began humming the end of the song as he walked over to the sink and heaved himself onto the now vacant spot.

Chuuya smiled but decided not to comment this time, not wanting the other to stop. He grabbed the body soap again and carefully washed his body, he didn't want old bloody water on his skin. Once he was finished he carefully leaned back and sighed into the warm water, feeling content.

Atsushi swung his legs to the beat of the unknown song. He didn't know this song, but the next one? Oh, he knew it and he loved this song. He didn't care that Chuuya was in the bathroom, didn't care that Ryuu was below him. His eyes lit up and an excited noise left his mouth.

"I won't lie to you~. I know he's just not right for you!" He sung loud, knowing he probably sounded bad but he didn't care, he loved the song.

Chuuya giggled at Atsushi's enthusiasm. He was so cute. And he'd said that out loud, unknowingly. Seriously adorable. "So cute~" *his laugh was contagious, his eyes lit up for the first time since everything happened, no thoughts of Dazai, no thoughts of the cuts on his arm nor the stitched slash on his leg. Only now.

Atsushi could feel his blush arise at Chuuya's words but refused to stop. He grew a bit quieter, however continued to sing.

Ryuu, however, had just jumped out of the downstairs bathroom when he heard Atsushi's singing from upstairs and it was a pleasant shock to his ears. He smiled broadly to himself as he felt immense warmth develop in his chest, only forcing Atsushi's blush to deepen as the tiger felt the heat through the bond.

The raven made his way upstairs with his towel wrapped around his waist. It didn't matter much to him if he was caught without a shirt on, but his clothes were upstairs. In Chuuya's bottom dresser drawer. He didn't have pants nor boxers on. Just a towel.

The location of his clothes was always convenient when he came over, seeing as he enjoyed using Chuuya's bathroom and Ryuu usually ended up laying in Chuuya's bed as they watched movies until the redhead fell asleep when he would cautiously walk out of the room to crash out on the couch downstairs. Chuuya would always lecture him in the morning about "sleeping on the damned couch that he spent thousands of dollars on and was now ruined" when there was a perfectly functionable king sized bed in the guest room he could've used.

Regardless of the argument, they both knew that Ryuunosuke wanted to be close incase Chuuya was having a nightmare or began crying. Chuuya hadn't changed the couch. And Ryuu hadn't once used the guest room.

Smiling at the thought, he snuck back into the bedroom, sighing a breath of relief at the still closed door and the loud radio. He quickly put his clothes on before raiding the closet for clean bedding. Settling on a navy blue comforter with pearl white sheets and pillowcases, he set to work with putting the bedding on.

Atsushi jumped when Ryuu appeared to his right. "Dammit, Ryuu! You can't just go around popping up in places!" The raven merely pecked the other on the cheek as Chuuya jumped awake. His black hair was wet and waves were showing through. He was in a pair of black sweatpants and a Linkin Park concert shirt Chuuya had bought him when they went for Ryuu's birthday.

"If you want to take a shower, it's open downstairs," he leaned in and whispered to the other, "and there's a radio down there too." As Ryuu pulled back, he could see the blush and the glowing eyes as he turned his attention to Chuuya.

He was leaning on the side of the tub and watched the two interact fondly. He locked eyes with Ryuu and smiled steady.

Ryuu watched as Atsushi jumped lithely from the counter and out of the bathroom. Turning his attention back to Chuuya, he returned the smile. "Are you ready to get out or do you want to stay in a bit longer?"

Chuuya made grabby hands towards Ryuu, "If I stay in any longer I'll be wrinkly," his nose twisted cutely in disgust.

Ryuu rolled his eyes and gave a soft smile. "We can't have that, now can we?" his voice was light and he was relieved. Chuuya looked much better. He ignored the seize in his chest at the grabby hands, merely nodding before walking out to grab the towel from the dryer. Taking the steps two at a time, he helped Chuuya out of the tub and dried him off. Swiftly, he picked the other up and sat him on the clean bed as he sifted through the drawers. Settling on a pair of boxers, thin sweatpants and an alien shirt. Setting the clothes on the bed, he slipped the boxers on up to Chuuya's knees before his hands stopped. He didn't think this through. He immediately began going through the different ways they could try to do this without hurting Chuuya's leg.

Ryuu brought his hand up to his face, an epiphany shattering his brain. He gave a soft mocking laugh before straightening up and allowing a tendril of Rashomon to slither out and around Chuuya's waist. He felt the other's' shiver at the contact of Rashomon. He ignored how Rashomon responded to Chuuya, how his power hummed with anticipation and…no. He would not acknowledge that last emotion.

He looked into the blue eyes across from him. "Is this okay?"

Chuuya smiled and nodded, "This is perfect, thanks Ryuu." Although he had shivered when Rashomon slithered around his waist, the killing machine was oddly comforting.

Nodding, the raven sent the minimal strength into the tendril, lifting Chuuya off the bed enough to lift the boxers up and then sat Chuuya down long enough to quickly grab the bandages from the nightstand to wrap around the injury. Keeping control over the tendril, Ryuu lifted the small body up and slipped the sweatpants on. Once Chuuya was seated on the bed again, he gently unwrapped Rashomon and turned to walk into the bathroom.

His hands were shaking as he moved to pick up his toothbrush and he steadied them on the sink for a moment. What the hell, Rashomon?! Pushing the response to the furthest part of his brain, he focused on bringing his hands to the toothbrush he left here.

Chuuya's voice almost shattered his composure. "There's an unused extra tooth brush in the top left drawer for Atsushi," Chuuya grabbed his shirt and slipped it on with ease. Sitting comfortably on the bed where Ryuu left him, he could feel his exhaustion catching up to him. He gravitated the covers over him and sighed, leaning against the head board. He would just close his eyes for a few seconds at most…

Ryuu walked out of the bathroom after a few moments. Looking at the form in the bed, Ryuu could hear faint snoring. With a smile, he gently pulled the covers back and lifted the petite form enough to move the body so that the red curls were now splayed over the pillows instead of the small shoulder. Pulling the covers up to Chuuya's neck, he left the room to start some tea.

After today's events, he was surprised he wasn't craving that strong shit people called coffee.

Once he was in the kitchen, he opened the pantry, easily noticing the shelf of teas. Chuuya always had a variety of tea, just like his wines. Deciding on jasmine, he set the kettle on the stove and pulled down three cups and sat them on the counter. Leaning against the counter, he played a bit on his phone as he absentmindedly picked at the figs laid out extravagantly on a platter for when he came over. Chuuya wasn't fond of them so it meant a lot that he could keep Ryuu's favorite food stocked.

It wasn't long before Atsushi came out. What he didn't expect, however, were the slender arms to wrap around his waist from behind as he was checking the tea. He jumped high enough that his fingers nearly brushed the steaming kettle. A soft laugh ensued from his left and he relaxed with a slight blush. A coughing fit occurred moments after Atsushi's lips hovered over his neck before giving a light nip.

Jumping back, the silver haired male laughed as he sat on a chair next to the counter. Ryuu pointedly kept his eyes on the kettle. His blush erupted brightly against his too pale neck, face, and ears. Shockingly still, his hands lifted the kettle and poured two cups of tea, both with three teaspoons of sugar before setting one down in front of Atsushi with narrowed eyes. Purple-gold orbs danced in delight against unimpressed charcoal embers.

In one movement, Atsushi lithely threw his legs over the counter so that he was facing Ryuu, his legs swaying on either side of the taller one. Grey eyes flew open in shock and he turned his head away from the other's eyes. "Ryuu," His name was said softly, no underlying motive involved. And yet the addressed turned his head back cautiously to face those bright eyes.

And he gave in.

Setting his cup on the counter, he wrapped his arms around Atsushi's waist and dug his head into the crook of the other's neck, his body only slightly shaking. He felt the leather of the fingerless gloves rub against his arm as the fingertips grazed over the sensitive skin before locking behind Ryuu's neck. Warm tears fell on Atsushi's shoulder, but he only tightened his hold on the other.

"Baby, let's go lay down, okay? You need the rest." Atsushi's voice remained soft, but had an underlying strength to it that Ryuu obeyed. Nodding, he turned his face away so that Atsushi wouldn't see the tears. He didn't like anyone seeing his vulnerability, not even the man he'd been serious about for a year.

Atsushi wasn't having any of it though. His fingers grazed Ryuu's chin and gently pulled the raven's gaze back to his. He wiped the tears off and placed soft kisses to the other's temples. Atsushi could feel the dull ache in his temples ebb away as Ryuu's eyes closed. He blessed the bond they shared when he could tell where the other was hurting. Hiding his face in the silver hair, Ryuu lifted Atsushi from the counter and walked them over to the couch he wouldn't be spending the night on by himself.

The raven laid Atsushi down on the seat of the couch as he remained above him for a moment before maneuvering to lay on his side behind Atsushi. He felt more tears pool at his eyes and cursed the bond as Atsushi turned to face the other. Leather clad hands sunk into black hair as the smaller pulled the raven's head into his chest where the tears were finally allowed to fall unrestrained.

Atsushi's hands trailed through the black locks, softly lulling the other to sleep as the sobs died down. He hummed reassurances into the raven's ears, promising that everything was going to be okay; the omega calming the alpha.