Four Letter Word

By ministop1992

Author's Notes: Hello! This is just a random thought so please bear with me if there are grammar or weird mistakes. I'm in a hurry to upload this because I only have a few hours to kill before I return to my academic materials. haha. :) I hope you'll enjoy this one. Tell me your thoughts please! :D

HOPE.

LOVE.

HOME.

For many people, these words are some of the most overrated terms in the dictionary. We often hear it inside the church or any place where encouragements are given. However, for me, these are actually the strongest terms in the dictionary. It's because these three has too many forms, depending on the person and his feelings.

Being as so-called 'strong-independent woman', I actually believed that I held these three things since I was a kid. After all, many people told me that I can get most of the things I want. As much as I wanted to disagree, I can't. After all, my mother built a happy life for me with the help of some people like Kinomoto Sakura and Li Syaoran.

These three things were so clear until you showed me more.

Until you showed me things that I thought never existed.

It's not that it happened all at once. It's not even the love at second sight. It's not like what we saw from Syaoran and Sakura, which we both agreed were one of the magical, literally and not, romantic love stories ever written. It happened with a simple everyday thing that started with a good morning and ended with a good night. It started with the little awkward conversations in the hallways that day-by-day progressed to stories about our little dreams about music and the future. The moments we found and comfort each other alone made me realize that you were someone special. After all, it's rare to get to know someone who actually wanted the same paths as mine. To be honest, the thought of you and me played in my mind the first time we talked alone. I shoved it off because I thought it would be boring to have someone who exactly moves the same way as me. However, you proved me wrong by always appearing in the most unexpected places and moments.

I tried my best to resist these feelings as much as I can and for long as I can. But those blank stares of yours became a little brighter. Your simple smile became more genuine, that I know I'm the sole person who can understand. The music that bound us from the start slowly became one simple harmony. And I understood it well when you slowly invited me to your mini concerts and your home.

Yet, being a pessimistic girl, I would always think that your efforts were innocent. Sakura often told me that it was something deeper, but I would always smile at her and say that maybe you are simply kind. I was happy appreciating you from afar until Sakura and Syaoran played tricks on you. To my surprise, you offered a sweet love song for me that both of us know would contain a hidden meaning. Somehow, that song made me realize that all those moments were not entirely friendship. I was happy and thankful. I wanted to confront you and tell you that I feel the same, but before that I still have one more request from you.

Wait for me, Eriol Hiiragizawa.

I am afraid. I'm afraid that I will not be enough, even though you always tell me that I am. I'm afraid that I may screw up one of the best friendships I have for me own selfish reasons. I'm afraid that I can't give everything you offer me back due to some unresolved conflicts in my head. I know you are willing to help, but I need a little more time for me to sort my thoughts and to gather all courage I can get to take the leap. I know it might be exhausting at times, but please know that I am on my way.

Until then, look out for me, sing for me, and pray for me.

I'll do the same because…

You are my hope.

You are my love.

And soon, you will be my home.