All he wanted to do was kiss Enjolras.
He looked so perfect up there, standing on a crate in the Café Musain, giving yet another speech about the awful state of France.
Grantaire had long since zoned out, he allowed his mind to wander, and gave half-hearted cheers when everyone else did. It didn't really matter; Enjolras had said all the same things before, even if he hadn't used the same words.
Besides, Grantaire had far more important things to think about.
Like whether or not to get another bottle of brandy, or what it would feel like to kiss Enjolras….
As he ran this thought lovingly through his mind, he realised that the man in question was standing in front of him.
"You seem distracted tonight Grantaire, is it possible that you've finally drunk your brain away?" Enjolras asked with a smile
"Not quite yet, I'll finish drinking my way through Paris and get back to you" Grantaire retorted.
They always conversed like this, Enjolras teasing Grantaire for his lack of sobriety, his cynicism or his almost blatant disregard for hygiene.
Grantaire would always have witty remark ready to mock Enjolras. Whether it was for his overwhelming passion for the people, or his almost non-existent passion for women.
Tonight however, Enjolras did not look in the mood for even a friendly argument.
As the night grew later, the loving crowd thinned, each waving a cheery goodbye to Enjolras, who smiled and sent them away with friendly words. But Grantaire could see through his smile.
When it reached midnight, only a few other Ami's remained.
Enjolras was sat in a corner, hunched over some books and papers. Combeferre and Courfeyrac were at a table, conversing in low voices about the declining health of General Lamarque. And Feuilly was sat by the door, looking tired.
Grantaire himself was sat in his usual seat, draining the small café of what wine it had left.
Courfeyrac left shortly after half past, leaving Feuilly and Combeferre talking for a while. By one o'clock, they had left too.
It was almost half past one when Enjolras finally sighed, shut his book and put his head in his hands. "The Weeping Apollo" Grantaire couldn't help thinking.
"What am I Doing?" Enjolras suddenly exclaimed "I shall send them all to their deaths!"
"Were you planning on it?" Grantaire inquired, rising from his seat "Or simply stating a fact?"
Enjolras jumped, he had apparently been assured of his solidarity. Regaining himself, He said, "A little of both I suppose" He laughed "Do I plan for them to die? No. Do I plan for them to fight? Yes! And if they fight, they will surely die!"
He had risen, and was now standing in the middle of the room, as he had done earlier that evening.
But this was not the Enjolras who had given such a rousing speech. This Enjolras looked far more scared.
"I am killing them" he whispered softly "It will not be I who fire those bullets, but nevertheless, their blood will be on my hands"
He looked positively frightened now.
Grantaire moved towards him, "Do you mean for them to die?" He tried to sound as sober as possible.
"Meaning and doing are two very different things!" Enjolras burst out, throwing his hands in the air.
"I do not mean for, nor do I want them to die but I will still lead them into battle, I will still be responsible for their deaths"
This was Enjolras as Grantaire had never seen him, unsure and wild.
He would never admit it, but Grantaire quite liked seeing the god knocked off his pedestal.
"They are going willingly" He wasn't used to consoling people, things were usually the other way around.
"You have forced them into nothing" Enjolras whirled around, not wanting to hear the truth.
"Their families will blame me" Enjolras sounded close to crying.
"Stop!" Grantaire blurted out, "This is not your fault, and in any case, they are not yet dead!"
Enjolras chuckled and Grantaire could see he was beginning to break him.
"Please believe me" He said softly, walking around so as to look him in the eye.
"You are a good man"
He was directly in front of Enjolras now, staring him in the eyes. The very blue eyes…
God, he was handsome.
The way he looked at that moment.
His yellow hair could have been made from gold in the candlelight, his lips were soft looking and oh so inviting.
His shoulders were muscular, and from underneath his half unbuttoned shirt,
Grantaire could see his chest was too.
In Enjolras's eyes, Grantaire was beautiful. His dark, curly hair, falling across deep green eyes with flecks of yellow, set under dark brows.
Everything about Grantaire spoke of sorrow and weariness. All except those eyes.
They spoke of something deeper, and Enjolras saw that.
They were staring at each other, almost as if for the first time.
Grantaire looked as though he was going to speak, but just as he was about to Enjolras suddenly shook himself.
"What are you even still doing here Grantaire? You don't believe in the revolution"
Grantaire laughed, "No, you're right, I don't"
"Then why?" Enjolras looked scared again.
Feeling oddly brave, probably because of the large amounts of alcohol he'd ingested, he answered
"Because of you, Enjolras"
He turned away, waiting for Enjolras to explode with anger, for him to say that that was no reason to go to your death, that he should stop being stupid.
What he didn't expect, however, was for him to simply walk towards him, without saying a word.
It seemed to take an age for him to cross the room.
When he finally reached Grantaire, he put a hand to his cheek, gently turning 'Taire's head to face his own.
"Funny" he whispered, with something more than humour in his eyes,
"I was fighting for you"
Those words gave Grantaire more courage that any bottle ever could. With his drunkenness forgotten, he leant forward as Enjolras kissed him.
Enjolras was kissing him! His darling, beloved Enjolras was finally kissing him.
All Grantaire could do was hold on.
To what, it didn't really matter. It had started with Enjolras's face, then his neck, then his hair.
His arms were twined around Enjolras, one round his waist, the other hand still caressing his hair.
Every part of Enjolras felt divine to Grantaire, and he didn't ever want to let go.
Enjolras's hands had not been idle either; one was at Grantaire's neck, further pushing their heads together; the other was at his back, attempting to make sure there was as little space as possible between their bodies.
It was blissful. Their lips moved in perfect tandem, pushing against one another, pulling slightly away, only to come crashing back again.
Grantaire was just wondering if this could last forever when there was a noise from the stairs. They broke apart, quickly trying to look as if they were doing anything other than passionately kissing.
They ended up with Enjolras back with his books and Grantaire standing by him, looking slightly angry.
Combeferre came bounding up the stairs "Enjolras, I" he stopped abruptly. He stared at Grantaire and Enjolras who were both heavily breathing.
"What are you two doing?" He asked, looking faintly amused.
Enjolras looked startled for a moment, then he replied "Taire, Grantaire and I were, well, we, uh" Grantaire almost bust out laughing. Enjolras was speechless! He had never known such a thing.
Something happy stirred in him at the thought that it was he who had caused such a loss of words.
Managing to keep a straight face,Grantaire interjected "We were having an argument"
Combeferre grinned "What about this time?" Improvising quickly, Grantaire retorted "Whores. Enjolras thinks they're immoral, I disagree.
At this Combeferre burst out laughing "Oh Enjolras, you virtuous fool!"
Crossing the room to where Enjolras was sitting, he picked up the book Enjolras had been so engrossed in "I only came back to get my book which you so neatly borrowed" He said between chuckles.
As he was half way back towards the stairs, he turned and remarked "Don't keep him fighting too long Grantaire, our glorious leader needs his sleep!" And with another burst of laughter, he was gone.
When the sound of his footsteps had finally receded, Enjolras breathed a sigh of relief.
"That was close" he whispered, rising from his chair.
"Close to perfect" Grantaire remarked, winking.
"Be serious" Enjolras chided "I am wild" Grantaire replied.
And not being able to contain himself any longer, he took Enjolras's face in his hands and kissed him.
It felt tremendous to kiss Enjolras again, to be in his arms felt more perfect than he could ever have imagined.
This kiss was even better than the first, it might have been slightly clumsier, but it was also deeper somehow.
He moaned softly as Enjolras deepened the kiss, pushing him back slightly in return.
This truly was paradise, the way he gripped Grantaire's hips, pulling him ever closer, only to push him away a little, and then slam their bodies back together.
Enjolras's hair felt soft under Grantaire's fingers, and he teased back, pulling it ever-so-slightly, making Enjolras moan into 'Taire's mouth.
They eventually broke apart, arms still around each other. Without saying a word, Enjolras pecked Grantaire mischievously on the lips, then the cheek, then the jaw, leisurely moving down his neck.
When he reached his shirt, Enjolras's hands began to move under it, tickling 'Taire slightly, sweeping his hands over his chest, as if he could never get enough of the other's body.
This was more than Grantaire could take, he could already feel the stiffness in his trousers straining to get out.
Just as he thought he might get to relieving Enjolras of his shirt, trousers and any other items of clothing he could find, he felt an all too familiar bubbling in his stomach.
Reluctantly, he pushed Enjolras off of him and ran for the window, tripping clumsily as he went.
He reached the window just in time, and leaning out he proceeded to vomit copiously.
Enjolras had been left standing in the corner; he now walked towards the window, laughing softly "You were kissing me with that mouth 'Taire?".
He reached Grantaire and bending past him he looked out of the window and down.
"Well" he remarked "You managed not to hit anyone, there's a relief"
"Maybe for you" Grantaire sounded weary
"Come on then" Enjolras had his arm around Grantaire's waist and has pulling him away from the window.
"What? Where are we going?" He sounded almost exasperated.
"I'm taking you home" Enjolras was attempting to appear casual but there was no mistaking the gleam in his eye.
Grantaire raised an eyebrow "I had no idea you were so forward Enjy!"
The intimate nickname secretly made Enjolras's heart soar. "You know what I mean, there's no way you can get home without falling asleep in a gutter somewhere"
Grantaire smirked "How well you know me. Very well then, take me to your temple, dear Apollo"