Author's Note: I'M BACK BEYOTCHS! After I was feeling very down because of the people who flamed me and reporting my humor fic, Puckleberry Fanfiction Pet Peevs . I didn't even want to write for Puck and Rachel. But someone reminded my I do have people that think like I do and can take a joke. So this is for you. Thank you MusicLuver78901 for all your support xoxo.
THIS IS A HUMOR PEICE!
"Move dweeb." Puck smirked when the loser got out of his new seat. He flopped on the chair, he strategically picked the computer farthest away from where the libarian was sitting, and searched the internet a bit but McKinly blocked all the good shit; sites with MILF pornos, nude girls, and all that good shit. Which totally sucked monkey balls. So Puck decided to do what any normal person do when they are bored and have a computer with internet. Type his name into Google and see what comes up.
To Puck's surprise, more came up than ussual, his criminal record and that video of him tossing Jacob Ben Isreal on Youtube. Shit was gold.
Instead every link Puck saw was from the some site, Fanfiction.
'What the Hell?' he thought clicking on the link. 'Hm, PuckxKurt, PuckxFinn? What the hell does MxM, yaoi and shit mean?... Well slash sounds hardcore, so we're probably just doing cool shit in it... M rating? Huh, maybe we're all getting it on with some really hot chicks.' Puck thought about to click on the link when he heard his name being called out, his actual name, which could only mean one thing.
"Hey Noah!" Rachel said flouncing into the seat next to him, "I finished all of my work and got out of class early to look up a song for this week's glee assighment!" Rachel said almost clapping her hands in excitement. Puck rolled his eyes, typical Berry, "So, what are you doing?"
"It looks like some people have finally found out about my star potential and have written stories all about the Puckster. I won't be stuck as some background character anymore. You know, I always knew one day, I would have fangirls dropping their panties for me, I just didn't expect it to be this soon. Oh by the way do you know what yay-oh." Puck said, his eyes crossed as he tried to proounce the foriegh word, "That word right there means?" Puck motioned, "I'm thinking it means awesome in japanese, because I totally am."
Rachel's eyes widened, quickly she moved Puck's mouse to away stopping Puck from reading it. "I don't think you want to read that. Trust me."
Puck shrugged, "Whatever, let's check out some other stories my fangirls wrote for me."
"So a lot of these are in the romance section. Do I look like a chick? There needs to be a badass genre. I'd own that shit." Puck said as he scrolled down the web page. "Quinn and Puck, well that's typical, I am her baby daddy. Mercedes and Puck? No, I'm not going down that road again. Hey, Berry, I see you in some of these... well, a lot of these."
"Really?" Rachel asked curiousily looking from her screen filled with song lyrics over to Puck's screen, "But we only dated for a few days?"
"I know weird right, and the fact that this this fanfic is totally breaking the forth wall." Rachel and Puck pointidly looks at the screen of the person reading this. (A/N: Get back to the story!)
"Hey, let's look what people have written for me, I mean us!" Rachel said.
"Sure, what the hell Berry, I still got 30 minutes of Algerba left to skip." Puck said looking at the clock hanging on the wall above them.
"What was that?" Rachel asked supicousily.
"Hey look, it's a Puck and Rachel story!" Puck exclaimed trying to avoid Rachel's question, no thanks, he did not need another Berry sixed lecture on the importance of attending class.
"Awl, they still call us Puckleberry."
"And it's still humilulating." Puck retorted, stubbornly crossing his arms over his chest.
"This one looks sweet lets click here... Oh Noah! You sound lovely in this fanfiction, if not a little but out of character- Hey wait, why did you click out of It?"
"I'm not some love sick puppy chasing after you Berry! I'm a badass! I refuse to read it, on the grounds of defamation of my character." Puck saw Rachel looking at him proudly and smirked, 'Fuck yeah, I know what defamation means.
''Hey look Rach, you're totally badass in these!... It's kinda hot."
"No, it is not 'hot'. I would never skip school or cuss so frequently! I am going to sue these people for ruining my good name!"
"Chill Berry, let's check out some more Puckleberry fics." Rachel's brown eyes seemed to grow bigger, it was kinda creepy, but cute all at the same time.
"You called us Puckleberry."
"Shit. I guess I did." Puck said smiling, not denying it, Rachel returned his smile and once again looked back at Puck's computer screen. She could look up song lyrics later, Rachel reasoned to herself. They both tried to be as quiet as possible in library, Puck already spotted how old Mrs. Walker looking at them, and he knew Rachel would freak the fuck out if she ever got in trouble, and Puck didn't know the code to nuetralize an explosive Berry bomb.
"Faberry, Pezberry, Samchel, Fintana, Britanya friendship and what the hell is a Faberrytana? Who the hell isn't in this?!"
"Hmm, I don't see the point of having every single person in for one single piece of literature?... Wait Fin is abusive to me? That is competely non-realistic, non-sensical, absurd, un pausible-"
"Chill Rach. It's because..." Puck said slowly as if she was mentally inept. "They want everyone to hate Finn and love the Puckster. Ob-vi-ous-ly. And you know what, I never thought I'd be the dude saving some chick's honor, seeing as I'm the one that usualy takes it away. But getting to be the guy that saves the day and gets the girl in the end for once, it kinda rules."
"You are hardly the image of what I think the typical knight would act like."
"Oh yeah? Who removed the Glist from your locker, who stood up for you against Santana, and who was the first one that wanted to beat up that Jesse kid for you. Me! Sounds pretty damn chivilous to me."
"I think you mean chivalrous, Noah." Rachel corrected before Puck clicked on the next page, "Wait, I have an eating disorder! I'm suidical? What in the name of Barbara Streisand?! I am perfectly fine! I do not need Noah to come save me!"
"Hey, hey, hey! Look what I found, Rachel, Santana, and Puck... A threesome? Hell yeah. I'm starting to like this place." Puck said smirking a mischevious gleam in his hazel eyes and a naughty smirk.
Rachel frowned at the teenager next to her, "I am a monogmous heterosexual, thank you very much. And please Noah stop being so crass."
"You know you love it." Rachel rolled her eyes at Puck, "Ninty chapters what the fuck?! Aren't stories supposed to have, I don't know, an ending?! And what the hell is a OC anyway! Original character?! People want to read about the Puckster not about these random people!" Puck said with indignation.
"Oh! You got me pregnant in this one, and this one! I know the proper way to use contraceptives!"
"Ah, Hell no! I'm not repeating babygate, I learned my lesson the first time people!" Puck said immediantly following the word "baby", "Beth is not going to get a little sister or brother for a long time!"
"Okay.., I'm starting to see the same story line repeated over again." Rachel said using Puck's computer mouse to scroll down the page.
"Just click on somthing Berry! Here I see a username with my name in it, total ownage, lets see what she has written." Puck said clicking on the story written by PUCK-GLEEK-FANGIRL-4EVAH!1!1!-
Rachel was skeptical seeing how the summary said in it "summary suck's" and the following statement, "better than it sounds" did little to reassure her about the quality of the work considering how little the author used the proper punctuation and capitalization. But Rachel was also very curious so she said nothing as Noah clicked on the story,
Author's Note: Hey guysssssss! This is muh first story ever! So no flamezzzzz! Okayz?! PUCKLBERRY IZ ENDGAME!
Disclaimer- I own nothing! If I did, puck wold be shirtless all the timeeee! Teeheee!
"Haha, I like this chick."
"That disclaimer is totally unneccassary and obnoxious."
"Jealous I have horny fangirls, Berry?" Puck responded wagging his eyebrows. Rachel rolled her eyes and hesistantly read on, her sixth sense was telling her it was a bad idea. But how terrible could one fanfiction be?
Answer, a lot.
Rachel walkeed into glee club, sat quietly in her seat, only to have mr. shue kurt mercedes and tina yell at her.
"Get out rachel!" They all screamed.
"And i am breaking up with you rachel. i hate you!" finn screamed at rachel.
"Wait why does the whole glee hate me in this fanfiction? And that break up came out of nowhere."
"Why would I just stand by, like a dick, and watch that shit go down! I'm a man! I wouldn't let that shit happen to Rachel!"
"Really?" Rachel asked Puck and turned around to see Rachel's eyes on him, all big and wide and crap again. His heart. Did. Not. Do. A. Fucking. Flip. That shit is for pansies.
"Uh, like I was saying, shit ain't cool. Mr. Schue is a cool guy, and besides Rachel didn't you say he was your favorite teacher? Why would he act like that to you? Plus, no offence Rachel but when Kurt, Mercedes, and Tina have said some mean shit to you in the past, but they had their reasons."
"No offense taken. I realize I have to step on some heads if I am going to make it in show bisiness. Nobody became a star by being nice." Rachel said in a matter of fact tone.
rachel sobbed on her way leaving the choir room only to bump into santana, britney, and quinn who were her best friends!
"Hey rachel what wrong?" quin asked concerned.
"Everyone in glee club was being fuckin' mean to me for no fuckin' reason what so ever!" Rachel cried into the cheerios arms. "And finn just broke up with me!"
(A/N: I hate Finn!_ So what do you think will happen next? Teehee)
"Okay. What is up with the random author note in the middle? Does this person kow how to capitalize? Why am I cussing all the sudden, and last but not least why am I best friends with Santana, Britney and Quinn all the sudden?" Rachel asked turning to her left when she heard Puck's hearty laughter as he clutched the sides of his stomache, "Noah!"
"Sorry Rach, it's just funny because they called you Manhands, Ru-Paul, drew pornos of you in the bathroom."
Rachel's face fell as she remembered, "But they've gotten a lot better. Let's see what else happens."
Suddenly she sees Puck who has cmet to save the day, he is such a sweet, nice person. plus hes super sexciii.
"Hey caroline stop!" puck said to rachel in he hallway, "I saw finn breek up with you, I hate that bastrad, and I would love you will you go out with me."
"Hold up, what the hell…? When did I ever call you Caroline and why am I calling Finn a bastard? He's my best bro!"
Rachel cried some more, and puck pulled her into his manly muscular strong arms.
"Why am I always crying?! Do I seem like a whiney person?!" Puck gave her a pointed look, "Do not answer that."
How you choose to express yourself
It's all your own and I can tell
It comes naturally, it comes naturally
You follow what you feel inside
It's intuitive, you don't have to try
It comes naturally, mmmm, it comes naturally
And it takes my breath away
(away, away, away, away, away, away, away, away)
You are the thunder and I am the lightening
And I love the way you know who you are
And to me it's exciting
When you know it's meant to be
Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally
When you're with me, baby
Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally
Ba-ba-baby
You have a way of moving me
A force of nature, your energy
It comes naturally (you know it does)
It comes naturally
Mmmm, yeah
And it takes my breath away (away, away, away)
What you do, so naturally (turally, turally, turally)
When we collide sparks fly
When you look in my eyes
It takes my breath away
Everything, baby, comes naturally
"Okay that song at the end literaly came out of nowhere, more than usual in our lives, and that's saying something. Plus it is completely irrelevant to the actual storyline. And there was there was more copy and paste lyrics than an actual story!"
"I'm kosher, I can't stomache this." Puck said clicking out of the site.
"Me either." Rachel agreed the bell rang as they went to gather their things and head to after school glee practice. Their hands brushed, Rachel blushed and quickly gathered her things but then she looked back at the computer screen and back to Noah. This song actually seemed perfect now. But more for a duet with a male lead, then a solo. Rachel clicked the print button and looked back at Noah who was zipping up his bookbag.
"Hey Noah, would you like to do a duet with me?"
Puck looked up at Rachel with an excited expression before he shrugged feighing cool idifference, "Sure. Why not. It's not like I had any clue what song to pick. So what's the song you picked about?" Puck asked in a casual tone, Stop freaking out Puckerman! It is just one duet! But it was just really fuckin' awesome and special when we sang Need You Now. God, I am turning into such a girl. "Before you make a long speech telling me about the song, let's agree on something, we will never mention Fanfiction again."
A/N: I REPEAT THIS IS A HUMOR PIECE! Yes I included the ideas from Pet Peeves, which has been deleted, but the bad fanfiction I portrayed is highly exaggerated and made to be funny. But flame me if I want, since this is an actual story you can't report me this time!