Oriori Kashaku
A Fullmetal Alchemist fanfic in honor of RoyAi Day
By Gingeh, who totally owns everything! …Okay, so she doesn't. Yet.
"Mr. Mustang!"
Oh, no. Not her again.
Forcing a smile, he turned to the small, blond girl now standing in front of him. "Hello, Ms. Hawkeye. May I be of some assistance to you?"
She glared at him. "You know perfectly well what I'm here for, Mr. Mustang. And don't use that face on me, I already know you don't want to. I don't care."
He kept the smile. "I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about, Ms. Hawkeye."
Her face twisted further into her pout, and he might have laughed, if the situation hadn't been so serious.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about! You told me it, exactly two days ago, seven hours ago. You said, and I quote, "When I master this new alchemy technique, I'll teach you how to shoot a gun." That's what you said!"
He could feel a migraine coming on. She knew perfectly well he'd only said that to get her to stop pestering him to teach her."I'm sorry, Ms. Hawkeye, but I have not yet perfected the technique."
"Hah! That's a lie! When I took Father his dinner yesterday, all he could talk about was how much of a genius you were, able to learn something so complicated in such a short amount of time." She crossed her arms in front of her, and he dropped the façade of niceness.
"Look, kid, I've got important stuff to do. I don't have time to teach some whiny brat how to play with a gun. Besides, you'll probably shoot someone's head off within the first week."
"I would not! And what 'important stuff'? Father won't give you any more hard stuff to learn for at least a week!"
He felt a vein jump on his left temple. "I don't just do alchemy, ya' know. I do other stuff, stuff a kid wouldn't care about-"
"Yoo hoo!"
Both Riza and Roy jumped as a young, brown-haired woman suddenly appeared beside them. She shoved her way in front of Riza, smiling and batting her eyes at Roy.
"Roy, honey, I'm ready to go." she purred.
Roy reddened slightly, and glanced towards Riza. She was smirking.
"Is this your 'important business, Mr. Mustang? Because I could swear there's something in the apprenticeship contract that says, 'No dating'." She tapped her finger against her chin, and grinned inwardly at his fleeting panicked expression. She figured he hadn't actually read that contract. "But, then, I'm not completely sure…maybe I should ask my father…" She grinned, and Roy could swear he saw little horns pop out of her head.
Trying to resist the urge to just strangle the demonic blond, he turned to his date, pasting on his best playboy smirk. "Sorry, Sylvia, something came up. Another time, maybe?"
The brunette froze. "Let me get this straight. You're breaking this date with me? This date, our first date, the one I spent six hours preparing for? I got a new dress and everything! See?" She twirled.
"It's very nice," he said soothingly, shooting a glare at Riza, who miming puking behind the woman's back. "And I'm sure it'll be just as beautiful on our next date."
"Next date? You wish!" She stalked off, leaving Roy gaping after her like a fish, and Riza giggling like a maniac.
"Okay. The first thing you need to know about shooting a gun is – your gun. Obviously."
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Riza huffed. "Speak more clearly."
Roy rubbed his temples. What did I do to deserve this?
"I mean, you need to know your gun. Inside and out. Every last detail. You need to know that gun better then your father's face."
"Oh." She still looked confused.
"You. Need. To. Play. With. It."
"That makes even less sense," she growled. "Weren't you the one who said I'd shoot someone's head off?"
"I don't mean actually shoot it!"
"Then what the heck do you mean?!"
"I mean take it apart and put it back together!"
Her gaze was ice. "Why couldn't you have just said that first? Showing off is annoying."
"I'm a scholar! I'm used to speaking with learned people, which you, obviously, are not."
"If it's so obvious, why'd you do it?"
"Because it's normal for me! I'm used to it!"
"Whatever." She rolled her eyes. "Anyway, second of all, that is not learning how to shoot. That's something to occupy my time with so you can go find some new bimbo to date!"
"Okay, I resent that. I'm deeply offended. I don't date 'bimbos'. I date sophisticated, intelligent young women."
"Yoo hoo!" Riza mocked. "Roy, darling, sweetums, lover, I'm ready for our super-duper date I spent six whole hours preparing for!"
He turned red. "She sounded nothing like that!"
Riza laughed, and he blushed even harder. "Anyway," he coughed. "We're getting off topic. This is most definitely a training exercise, crucial to learning to shoot a gun."
"Is not!"
"Is too!" he shot back. "You need to know everything about the gun, and the best way to learn that is hands-on experience."
He motioned to the rifle lying on the ground in front of them. "Take that apart, and then put it back together."
She opened her mouth to argue, and then apparently thought better of it. "No problem. Let me just grab one of Father's boo-"
"Nu-uh. No books."
"…Huh?"
"Just your hands and your head."
"But that's impossible! I've hardly ever even seen a gun up close before now!"
He shrugged. "Don't worry. I hear hard work builds character."
He walked away, calling over his shoulder, "If you finish before your next birthday, look me up!"
He chuckled, and the echo of Riza's fury-filled screams continued to follow him for quite some time afterwards.
It'd been about two weeks, and Roy's thoughts had often-no, occasionally, occasionally! Occasionally, drifted to the little blond would-be sniper. He also occasionally felt the slight twinge of guilt for sticking her with the nearly impossible task for a beginner.
He hadn't seen her since that day, and he was beginning to think she was avoiding him. Which is a good thing, he told himself, over and over, it sounding less and less convincing each time.
"Roy?"
"Hm?"
"You're zoning out. Are you bored?"
His newest conquest was batting those big blue eyes at him, and biting her lip, trying to act cute. He could almost see Riza rolling her eyes, and he stifled a laugh.
. . .Gah! He'd thought about her again!
"Roy! Roy! Stop! Why are you banging your head against the table?!"
"Ow…" He rubbed his forehead, and smiled apologetically at…what was her name? Barbara? Karin? They were all so alike, it was hard to tell. "Sorry…dear. I heard that banging your head helps you digest your food."
He'd said it in jest, but she took him seriously. "Really? You'd think it would be painful…well, alright!"
And she started banging her head on the table, as Roy watched in disbelief.
"A sophisticated, intelligent young woman, to be sure."
The familiar, mocking voice surprised him, and he whipped his head around to find Riza, standing with one eyebrow raised at his date, a sarcastic smile playing around her lips.
"Riza!" Wait, wait! That sounded too excited!
"Riza," He acknowledged her with a slight nod. Better, better.
She blinked, and he realized belatedly he'd used her first name. Maybe he should start banging his head against the table again…
She seemed to be contemplating continuing to make fun of him, but apparently whatever she'd sought him out for was more important.
"I did it!" she said, grinning proudly.
"'It'?"
"The 'exercise'! See?" She held out the rifle, and he shook his head in disbelief.
"There's no way. It doesn't fire."
"Yes it does! Here, I'll show you."
"Wait! No!"
Too late. She pulled the trigger, and bang! Suddenly, there was a hole in the table, and everyone in the restaurant who hadn't started staring at them when the whole head-banging thing had started, started staring now.
"We're very, very sorry." Roy bowed, pushing Riza into a bow with him. The restaurant's owner growled, and slammed the door in their faces.
Rubbing his nose, Roy turned to glare at the small blond demon. "What were you thinking?!"
Not looking at all apologetic, she brushed off her skirt and said, "You didn't believe me. I had to do something."
He looked at her in angry disbelief. "That's crazy! You did that to prove a point?! Someone could have gotten hurt! You could have gotten hurt!"
"But you believe me now," she pointed out. "That means it worked."
He grabbed her shoulders and shook her. "Never do that again! Ever!"
"Alright, alright…" He sighed in relief, and pulled her into a hug.
They both froze.
He quickly released her, turning away to hide his red face. For crying out loud, she's just a kid! Quit fluttering, heart!
"So, will you teach me properly now?"
"Teach you what?"
There was an exasperated groan.
"How to shoot a gun!"
He faced her again, noting her pink-tinged face with surprise. Apparently, he wasn't the only embarrassed one.
He sighed, scratching the back of his head. "I suppose it's the only way, since if I don't, you'll go and try to teach yourself, and end up really killing someone."
"Really?" Her face broke into a huge smile, and he his heart did that annoying flip-flop thing again.
"Thank you, Roy! Thank you, thank you!" She launched herself at him, and he found himself embracing her again. His cheeks grew warm, and her ears were red, but this time, neither moved away.
"Roy? Who's she?" Oh. He'd forgotten about her.
His date was watching them nervously, a handful of pocky clutched protectively in her right hand.
"You got us kicked out before I could eat," she explained icily.
Riza stepped away from Roy and stuck out a hand. "I'm his teacher's daughter," she said, her tone frank. "Riza Hawkeye, future gun wielder. Can I have some of your pocky?"
Taking her shocked silence as a 'yes', Riza helped herself.
Authoress Note:
Hey, everyone! Happy RoyAi Day –throws confetti- I just love this pairing, and therefore felt the need to contribute something to the festivities, even something like this. Chibi Roy and Riza are just too cute!
I apologize for any and all oocness and wrongness. I have only recently started reading the manga, and haven't gotten to their flashback childhood yet. All I know is gained solely from fanfiction. For instance, in this fic, I made them roughly four or five years apart, Roy being about sixteen, and Riza being around eleven. For all I know, they could be much closer in age :P. And, of course, their personalities are much different then normal. Well, maybe not that different. Riza still bosses Roy around, and Roy's still the playboy we all know and love. But they are very odd here. I didn't mean for it to happen, it just sort of…did. Heh-heh. Sorry!
Oh, and all you lovely and wonderful Tokyo Mew Mew-ers who have me on Author Alert and are thinking, "Why the heck is she writing this? Where's Ryou?!" Don't get out the torch and pitchforks yet. I just wanted to do something for the holiday. I'll be back to TMM after today!
Oh! For those of you who care, the title is Japanese. It roughly translates to, 'Occasional Pangs of Conscience'.
Reviews make me happy! But flaming is for Roy. –nods decisively- –spins randomly-