Just a one-shot
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Grave watching...xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
He stood there, watching as the insects landed and left the marks of the past in front of him. How many times has he been here, and how many more? How many more times will he force himself to come here to find some form of truth in what he had done? In what he was?
It was just a waste of time, hundreds of years have passed and hundreds more will and it would change nothing about it. History may have written him and everyone here a hero but he knew the truth! He knew what he was, and that "change" was just a failures words for the same, maybe that's why he loved the word so much...Oh why yes starting tomorrow ill quit smoking! Oh why yes starting tomorrow ill quit the affair! Oh, why yes starting tomorrow ill drop the bottle! Isnt change wonderful!
"Isnt it?", the old man accidentally let the words slip from his mouth...he would have to change that.
The graves made no attempt at answering him, instead, they seemed more interested in displaying someone's whole life in 15 words.
Gendo Ikari, Loving Father, And Hero Of Humanity, the old man felt like spitting on lies in front of him, loving father? Hero of humanity? Lies!
Rei Ayanami, A Victim Of A Tragically Early Demise, the old man only had one thing to ask this stone...which one?
Asuka Langley, Hero, Yes, that's all she was in the emotionless eyes of history, a hero.
Misato Katsuragi, Hero And Loving Wife, Yeah...okay.
Ryouji Kaji, Hero And Loving Husband, the old man stared blankly at this one, he didn't like him.
Ritsuko Akagi, Hero, I wished I could believe in it.
There they were, everybody he ever really knew, lined up for the one true thing he wished to change, his loneliness.
Shinji really loved the word change.
He pulled out a small pocket knife from his pocket and revealed in the smooth click sound it mind as he erected the blade and put it to his wrist, he wasn't allowed to be in possession of firearms, and he wouldn't want to break the law now, would he?
All the insects flew away from the instant he pulled the knife and now...now he was alone with his family, his real family, not that thing that's supposed to be called his son, not that brown-haired woman who was supposedly his loving wife.
Here it was...the time for a change...but why hadn't he done it yet?
Here he was in front of his family, he didn't want to disappoint them now, did he?
But...he couldn't do it, he was too weak...a failure.
Things would change, he would do it next time he told himself, just like he had told himself so every other time he had come here. In this empty field that's been plastered red, tainted by the blood of the gods, blood that he had spilled.
Shinji slowly turned around and walked back to his "home".
Tommorow...Tommorow...things would change
END
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