Title: The Closest We Can Get
Beta: ChibiShiro
Disclaimer: I do technically own Kingdom Hearts 2, along with many other games. I just don't own the rights to anything in it.
Pairing: Vexen/Demyx
Warnings: Mentions of LexZex.
Notes: Unless that God-awful Draco/Ron thing I wrote counts, this is my first attempt at slash/yaoi/shounen-ai/whatever. So it's rather light in content, and a little bit fluffy at the end.
For: Kingdom Hearts 2 - writer's choice. I'd just like to see an underappreciated pairing. Something unexpected is a plus. [requested by Seraphjewel at the Video Game Yaoi Challenge community on LJ
"What are you doing?"
Vexen looked over his shoulder to see the newest member of the Organization standing in the doorway. He contemplated ignoring Demyx, but the musician could be irritatingly persistent until his curiosity was satisfied. Best to get it out of the way so he could go back to being alone.
"If you must know," Vexen began, "I'm trying to see if I can get a reaction by having a Heartless and it's Nobody interact with one another."
"Why?" Demyx asked.
"Because this may very well be the key to getting our hearts back," said Vexen.
"But that Xemnas guy said--"
"The Superior," Vexen corrected.
Demyx made a face. "The Superior said that the Kingdom Hearts thing was the only way to get them back."
"No," said Vexen. "He said it may be the only way. That means there may be more reliable methods that I can test in the meantime."
"Can I help?" Demyx asked.
"No. Why don't you bother someone else?"
"Well," Demyx said, shifting nervously. "Xe--The Superior scares me a bit, and Xigbar threatened to use me for target practice. Xaldin was practicing with his lances, and once I started talking, he asked if I liked shish-ka-bobs, so I kind of ran away. Lexaeus and Zexion were...um..." Demyx trailed off.
"Busy," Vexen supplied. He had a vague idea of what Demyx was trying to say, and thought the topic was one best left alone.
"Yeah, they were busy," Demyx said as he sat down on a nearby chair. "Saïx scares me more than the Superior, and Axel's been in a burn-y mood lately. And I don't like to be by myself, so I thought I'd hang out with you."
Vexen looked at Demyx oddly. "What were your reasons for avoiding the Superior and Saïx again?" he asked.
"I told you," Demyx said, "they scare me."
"But you can't feel fear," Vexen tried to point out. "You are a Nobody. You don't have a heart."
"Yeah, about that," Demyx continued. "How come I still have a pulse and stuff? Don't I need a heart to pump blood? How am I still alive?"
"You lack a metaphorical heart, not a physical one," Vexen said. "After all, the heart muscle itself doesn't contain your emotions, does it?"
"Well, no, I suppose not," admitted Demyx. "But...we have some feelings, right?"
"No, we don't."
"Are you sure?" Demyx asked. "Because I kind of like you, and a lot of the other members seem to get mad at me a lot, and that doesn't make any sense."
"As Nobodies, we retain the memory of emotions," explained Vexen. "We may think we feel them, and as such, outwardly react the way we would have with hearts."
"But if we think we're feeling them, how is that different from actually feeling them?"
"Because we have to maintain focus to feel anything," said Vexen. "When you had a heart, do you remember being angry or upset?"
"Yeah," said Demyx. He scowled at a faint memory and started fiddling with his gloves.
"Well, you could retain that feeling, even while thinking about something else. As a Nobody, if you thought of something else while you were upset, you'd stop feeling upset. Even now, you don't seem as cheerful as normal, because you've forgotten to feel that way."
Demyx looked at Vexen, confused. "Since when do you take notice of how cheerful I am?"
"That doesn't matter," Vexen snapped. "The point is, if you wanted to truly feel nothing, you could. People with hearts cannot do this, no matter how hard they try. However, the Superior has done it, and Saïx has started as well."
"Oh," Demyx said. "That...that doesn't seem right, somehow."
"I know," Vexen said softly. "It's why the rest of us try to remember our emotions as often as we can. We want to feel 'right.' We don't, and we never will unless we get our hearts back. But it's as close as we can get to 'normal.'"
Demyx nodded and stood up, seemingly bringing the conversation to a close. As he opened the door to leave, he turned back to Vexen. "So what about the feelings I don't remember?" he asked.
Vexen blinked. "What about them?"
"Well, I told you I liked you. But I don't remember liking anyone before my heart was stolen. I had a lot of friends, but no one like that."
Vexen looked thoughtful. "Perhaps," he said slowly, "you should stay for a while."
"What?"
"To figure out this turn of events," Vexen said quickly. "If you aren't busy."
"Yeah," Demyx said as he smiled. "I'd like that."
Yeah, this ended up being more of an explanation of how Nobodies "worked." But I wanted Demyx to like Vexen first, and I couldn't think of a way for Vexen to accept this without figuring out the scientific aspect of this. And then I played off of Demyx's natural curiosity, and the fic started to write itself. Which was wonderful, because my muse left me about half-way through. She's evil like that.
Again, thanks to Chibishiro from LJ for the beta. Any remaining mistakes are mine.