a little bit broken (but together we're whole)
Hermione's mouth drops open in shock as Voldemort's words register with her. Harry is dead. She had been convinced he wouldn't die. He was the Boy Who Lived, and Hermione just can't wrap her head around the fact that this time, he didn't live. Even as Voldemort casts a non-verbal Wingardium Leviosa at Harry's body and sends it flying through the air before crashing to the ground from where it had been resting in Hagrid's arms, Hermione keeps thinking, hoping, that Harry's going to jump up and yell, "Surprise, I'm not dead."
But he doesn't. Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, Hermione's best friend, lies dead and unmoving on the ground with Voldemort's high-pitched laugh of glee piercing the stunned silence.
When Voldemort stops laughing, the spell is broken. Death Eaters start firing curses into the crowd of students and teachers that had gathered to witness the announcement. Hermione, thankful that the wards protecting Hogwarts have been broken, grabs the two arms nearest to her—Neville and Ginny—and Apparates away from the castle. She knows, as she suspects others do too, that Voldemort has won, that there is no point in remaining to fight because all that will happen is the slaughter of those who oppose him. They need to regroup, rethink the plan and better.
Hermione, Ginny, and Neville land at Shell Cottage. It was the only place she could think of in her haste to escape. She knows the Burrow and Grimmauld Place will be watched by the Death Eaters once the battle is over—they are the known strongholds for the Order of the Phoenix, after all. Shell Cottage was safe before, Bill and Fleur made sure of that, so Hermione hopes that it still is and that the owners won't mind her showing up on their doorstep when they aren't even home.
Despite having Ginny with her, Hermione doesn't feel right about the three of them actually entering the property without either Bill or Fleur and so instead, she makes her way around to the back of the property where Dobby's grave lies and collapses to her knees in front of it.
"I failed him," she whispers. "I just wanted to do what was best for Harry, to help him complete Dumbledore's task, and I failed."
Tears silently trickle down her face. She wants to sob, to let all of the feelings out in one good, long session and then put herself together and get on with working out a new plan, but she can't do that. The news of Harry's death still hasn't sunk in and instead of feeling upset like she knows she should, she just feels numb, and for too tense worrying about who else is going to make it out to let herself sink into any feelings that do break through.
The crack of Apparition echoes through the air from the front of the property and Hermione is immediately on her feet, running to see who's intruding, wand clasps tightly in her hand.
"What was the shape of Harry's seventeenth birthday cake?" Hermione asks, pointing her wand at the red-haired man making his way towards the front door.
"A golden snitch," he answers. His voice is cool, but it betrays the underlying worry that they're all feeling. He draws his wand so quickly that Hermione doesn't notice it until it's pointed at her and he's asking, "Who did the tiara belong to that Fleur wore at our wedding?"
"Your great-aunt Muriel," Hermione tells him. Relief washes over Bill's face and he's quickly wrapping her in a hug she wasn't expecting.
"Are you alone?"
"No, I grabbed Ginny and Neville when I Apparated. They're around here somewhere," she tells him, waving a hand towards the house to let Bill know they're inside. "Where's Fleur?"
"She's gone with Mum to check on Andromeda and Teddy and bring them here where it's safe. How did you know to come here?"
"It was the first place I could think of that I didn't think the Death Eaters knew about," she admits.
Bill nods and the two of them head into the house, calling for Ginny and Neville as they do. Ginny runs from the kitchen to meet them and wraps her arms around Bill, sobs shaking her body. Neville follows her much more slowly, his face full of worry and Hermione suspects he doesn't have much experience with crying girls. She has to hand it to him, though, he was a better friend to Ginny than she had been. It hadn't occurred to Hermione that while she had lost her best friend, Ginny had lost both her brother and the boy she was in love with.
Eventually, Ginny's sobs quieten and she lets Bill go with a sheepish smile. He just ruffles her hair and tells them all to make themselves at home before heading into the kitchen to make tea for everyone.
When the war broke out, Theo ran. He saw Potter step out of the crowd of Gryffindors and knew the time had come for him to choose a side. Except, he didn't. Theo didn't want to fight his friends on the battlefield, so he fled. He left through the secret passage in the Room of Requirement and Apparated back to his house, collected his belongings, and was now sitting in a secluded corner of the Leaky Cauldron waiting for news of what was happening at Hogwarts.
Whatever happens, whether Potter wins or the Dark Lord wins, he knows he can't go home. He doesn't agree with his father's politics, he never has, and Theo is finally old enough to get out. He isn't sure where he's going to go, perhaps Blaise or one of Theo's Hufflepuff friends will let him stay with them while he makes a life for himself, but as long as it isn't wherever his father is, he'll be safe, at least.
Somehow, Theo's Hogwarts letter has ended up amongst the few belongings he managed to retrieve. As he stares down at it, reading the faded words over and over, he can't help but think about how wrong it is that this is all taking place at a school. There are children fighting, and probably dying, when they should be taking their end of year exams. They're all so young. The thought makes him sick to his stomach and he has to take a couple of deep breaths to calm himself.
The chair across from him is pulled back and Theo can't bring himself to look up at whoever is facing him. He doesn't want to know what happened, he wants to live in his bubble of isolation for a little longer. Whoever it is doesn't speak, and Theo suspects that they're waiting for him to acknowledge them. Theo just hopes it isn't his father.
He folds the Hogwarts letter carefully, now more desperate than ever to hold onto anything he can that connects him to the school that provided him with a home away from both his father's depression and his father's devotion to the Dark Lord. It was a place Theo could finally be himself without having to worry about his father having one of his outbursts. As he looks up and meets the gaze of Blaise, Theo can see that Hogwarts is no more.
"How?" Theo asks weakly.
"Nobody knows. The Dark Lord told Potter to meet him in the Forbidden Forest, next thing we know he's walking out with Potter's dead body. It was chaos. I got out as soon as I could."
Not soon enough, Theo thinks, remembering the way Blaise refused to leave when Theo did, how he stayed and fought their classmates in the hopes of winning for the Dark Lord's side.
"Why didn't you stay and fight?" Theo asks, the harshness in his tone deliberate—he wants Blaise to know how disgusted he is with the decision to stay in the first place. "You were perfectly happy to before Potter died."
Blaise reaches out a hand to try and take one of Theo's but he pulls it away before Blaise has a chance. Blaise sighs.
"Look, Theo, you know I didn't have a choice. My mother—"
"Has the same views as my father," Theo interrupts. "You don't see me desperate to follow in his footsteps, do you?"
"I didn't have a choice," Blaise repeats. Theo hates the pleading tone in his voice. It's clear Blaise is looking for pity, and that's the one thing Theo refuses to give him.
"You always have a choice." Theo shakes his head and stands. "I can't even look at you right now."
"Theo, please," Blaise says as Theo grabs his bag and heads towards the door. "Where will you go?"
Theo doesn't answer. Even if he wanted to, he wouldn't know how. All he knows is that he doesn't want to speak to Blaise again, not now and maybe not ever.
His hand is shaky as he grips his wand. Theo knows he should have used the Floo—Apparating in this condition would be challenging and probably lead to Splinching—but he wasn't thinking clearly in his desperation to leave the pub. There's only one place he can go, only one friend he can think of who might know how to help him out of the situation he's in. He's painfully aware of the feeling of the wood of his wand digging into his skin as he spins of the spot and Disapparates.
Hermione stares at the faces gathered around the table. She's amazed at how many there actually were, but she can't help but notice the faces that were missing. There should be more people with them — Harry, Ron, Fred, Dean, Arthur, Luna, Tonks, Lupin, and probably more Hermione hadn't heard of yet; they were still trying to contact the members of the Order and Dumbledore's Army that they hadn't heard from yet.
They're all looking at her as if expecting her to speak. She isn't sure how she's ended up in charge, probably because of how close she was with Harry, but she isn't sure she deserves it. She failed to look out for Harry when it mattered most and yet these people still trust her.
She takes a calming breath as she readies herself to tell the truth, the whole truth, to the survivors. Harry might not have wanted to betray Dumbledore's trust, but both of them kept the secret and are now dead. Hermione doesn't want to make the same mistake.
"For the past year, Harry, Ron, and I have been on a secret task set by Dumbledore. I'm sure you know this, and I'm sure you know Dumbledore didn't want Harry to tell anyone other than myself and Ron. But now, all—" Hermione's voice catches a little. "—all three of them are dead because they kept this secret when you all could have helped. You-Know-Who created Horcruxes to keep himself alive. Seven, to be precise. We've destroyed six of them and strongly believe his snake to be the last. It isn't until this last Horcrux is destroyed that he can die."
"So we just need to get the snake?" George's voice shakes as he asks the question, betraying the pain he's so clearly trying to hide. Hermione is surprised that he's here. She's surprised that any of the Weasleys are here considering how much they lost, but it's George's appearance and obvious passion for the cause that surprises her most of all.
"I have a plan," Neville says, his voice loud and confident as he draws the attention of everyone in the room. "It's a bit risky, though."
As Neville explains the plan, Hermione's eyes widen. By the end, she's a little bit shocked that they're still in her head. It's going to take a while, but Hermione reckons it just might work. Well, it will if they can find anyone willing to risk their life posing as a Death Eater.
When everyone is in agreement, the meeting ends.
When did it become a meeting?
Hermione can't help but pull Neville to the side. "How did you get so brave?" The question comes out a little harsher than intended, but Hermione still saw Neville as the timid boy who had lost his frog on the train, she hadn't noticed him grow up alongside them.
"I learned it from you," he admits. "Well, you, Harry, and Ron. You were always there for everyone, saving their lives despite risking your own. I wanted to be like that too."
Hermione's eyes fill with tears as she wraps Neville in a hug. She can't help but feel like a proud mother after seeing how much Neville has grown in the year they spent apart. She only wishes Harry and Ron were here to hear what Neville had to say about them.
Theo's landing is shaky, but he is miraculously still intact. He stares up at the house looming in front of him. It's a standard two storey, red brick, semi-detached house but it towers over him in a way that makes the house feel huge when he knows it's him that feels small.
"Theodore?" An elderly woman in her seventies calls from the doorstep. Theo had been so wrapped up in himself and his own worries that he hadn't noticed the door open. If it was anyone else, he could have been killed on the spot for that lapse of concentration.
"Hello, Mrs Abbott," Theo says, his voice much smaller than he's expecting.
The woman rolls her eyes. "I've told you, call me Florence. Come inside where it's safe. Hannah's sent a Patronus message — Merlin, I was shocked when that arrived; I didn't even know she could cast a Patronus — she'll be here soon."
Theo manages a weak smile. "Only if you call me Theo."
He follows Florence into the house and is immediately ushered into an armchair next to the fire with a mug of hot chocolate in his hand.
"I know it's spring and far too warm for a fire, but you look miserable and hot chocolate by the fire always cheers me up."
"Thanks, Mrs— Florence."
Florence takes a seat in the armchair opposite him as they wait for Hannah to arrive.
"Is Hannah expecting you here?" Florence asks. "She said she might bring a few friends with her but she didn't mention you."
Theo shakes his head. "I just ran. I can't— I can't be around my father's gloating so I ran. I didn't think about where to go next, only that I needed to get out."
"You made the right choice, dear," she says with an encouraging smile. For the first time, Theo's starting to believe he did. Florence has already taken more care of him than he father ever had, and he can tell she holds no prejudices towards him because of his background. He lets himself relax slightly as the chocolatey liquid warms his insides.
"Grandma?" Hannah calls from the hallway. Theo tenses up again; he really isn't sure how Hannah will react to him being here.
Three pairs of feet can be heard echoing down the hall before Hannah pushes open the slightly ajar door and stops short. Her wand is in her hand and pointing at Theo instantly.
"What are you doing here?" she demands.
Theo holds his hands up in surrender as best he can without spilling his hot chocolate. "I needed to get away from my father and I didn't know where else to go."
"You're not here to spy on us for the Death Eaters?"
"Fuck no, Han. You know I've never agreed with those bastards." Florence shot him a disapproving look and he added a sheepish, "Sorry."
"I'm glad you finally came to your senses," she says with a small laugh. "You're welcome to stay as long as you like—Grandma has the room—but I've already promised the other spare room to Ernie and his little brother so you'll have to share with Seamus." Hannah turns to face Florence. "Speaking of Ernie, I've given him our Floo address so he can come straight here after fetching his brother. He should come through sometime in the next hour."
Theo shrugs. "Yeah, that's fine with me," he says at the same time as Seamus appears through the door asking, "Who am I sharing with?"
Seamus is considerably slower drawing his wand than Hannah was, and before it's even fully pointed at Theo, Hannah is already saying, "It's okay, Seamus, he's not a Death Eater; he's a family friend."
"He's still a Slytherin," Seamus says warily. "How do I know he won't try to curse me in my sleep?"
"I can—" Theo tries to say he'll leave his wand outside the room or take the couch but Hannah interrupts him.
"Not all Slytherins are arseholes, Seamus. He isn't Malfoy. If you have a problem with it, sleep on the couch."
Florence comes back into the room then—Theo hadn't even noticed her leave—holding three mugs of hot chocolate and a damp cloth. Theo only hopes she isn't going to use it to try and scrub them all clean when a simple cleaning charm would do.
"You three look awful," she says to Hannah, Seamus, and Padma who has slipped into the room behind Hannah and is eyeing Theo suspiciously. "Drink these then go and clean up."
It's only then that he notices what the battle at Hogwarts has done to them physically. All three are covered in cuts, bruises, and drying blood, Hannah's once mustard jumper is now more of a dull cinnamon, and Seamus' hair is blackened in a way that makes Theo think he's been too close to an explosion or two.
He wants this to stop. He wants this war to be over. He wants everything to go back to how it was. It can't, though, and he knows that. He also knows it's time to choose a side once and for all, and he knows it can't be the side that would willingly fight a group of children.
Hermione slips out of the back door of Flourish and Blotts, her newly purchased book on Dark Arts tucked tightly under her arm. She's amazed at how quickly Diagon Alley has accommodated 'Black Market' style shops for those who oppose You-Know-Who's rise to power. It has only been two weeks, but already business is booming if she believes what she's been told. They're mostly operated out of the back of run-down and abandoned stores, but some of the shops like Flourish and Blotts that are still open and have more daring owners operate out of their back rooms too.
Ordinarily, Hermione wouldn't have come into Diagon Alley herself; she was the poster girl for what You-Know-Who and the Death Eaters were calling 'The Resistance' and Diagon Alley tended to be full of people on his side. She only came herself because she needed a specific book on Dark Arts and she knew that some of the others wouldn't understand why she thought they needed it, and those who did agree with her—Ginny and George—were too unstable to be trusted not to do anything reckless if they ran into a Death Eater. But they did need it. The Death Eaters were growing more powerful by the day, and they knew spells that weren't taught at Hogwarts, spells that the remaining members of the Order, most of who hadn't been out of school very long, wouldn't know how to counter or to heal.
Her way home is through the back streets—she has to leave Diagon Alley before she can Apparate—and though it's usually a safe space known only to those who use the Black Market, Hermione keeps her wand gripped tightly in her hand. As she rounds the corner behind what was once Eeylops Owl Emporium, she's glad she was careful.
"Petrificus Totalus," she mutters, and the spell sends a boy Hermione recognises as Theodore Nott crashing to the ground.
She doesn't think he saw her, but she knows if one Slytherin knows about this place it won't be long until the rest do and that knowledge will surely make it back to their Death Eater parents. She edges closer, careful to stay out of even the edge of his vision with a Confundus resting on the tip of her tongue. When the spell wears off, he'll think it was a random Gryffindor a year or two older than him that cast it. It's all she can do without potentially causing irreparable damage.
Before she can cast the spell, an Irish accent mutters, "What the fuck?" and the figure of Seamus Finnegan comes out of the back door of the shop, his wand gripped as tightly in his hand as Hermione's is in her own.
"Seamus?" she asks. Her voice wavers slightly; she can't believe he's actually in front of her. They had all thought Seamus was dead when they couldn't get in touch with him, yet here he was standing right in front of her.
"Hermione?" he asks. "Is it really you?" Then, a moment later he adds, "And what the hell are you thinking? You could be caught!"
"So could you. Did you know there was a Slytherin lurking around the back door?"
Seamus' attention is brought back to the body on the floor. "Yeah, I did." Rolling his eyes, he lifts the charm Hermione had cast. "Theo here was keeping watch so we didn't get caught. Fat lot of good he was."
"Theo was? But—" Hermione's voice falters slightly. "—why isn't Dean with you?"
Seamus' nostrils flare and his face begins to turn a deep shade of red.
"Touchy subject," Theo says, his arms slightly raised in mock surrender. "I wouldn't mention Dean if I were you. All we know is he died, Seamus won't tell us how."
Hermione trains her wand squarely at Theo. "And why should I trust you? You Slytherins weren't exactly nice to us in school. What's stopping you from running and telling your dad about what you've seen."
It's Theo's turn for his nostrils to flare now. Hermione can see his hand grip his wand a little better, but he doesn't turn it towards her.
Seamus shakes his head. "You can trust him," he says. His voice is shaking, and Hermione can't help but wonder what happened to Dean to make Seamus this upset. "This would be better explained back at Hannah's. It's a bit squished, but…"
He trails off as Hermione shakes her head, a grin spreading across her face. "No," she tells them. "I have a better idea, and Theo might be just the person we need."
Hannah hadn't seemed too happy when Theo told her they'd brought a new guest—admittedly part of that could have been Theo's phasing—but as soon as she saw it was Hermione, her face had lit up. It was clear Hannah had been starting to worry about what they were going to do, they were only a small group of eighteen-year-olds after all, but seeing somebody else that was willing to fight for the same cause as they were lifted her mood considerably.
She declined the invitation to go with them to the Weasley's—Padma wasn't coping well with the death of her sister and Ernie had enough on his plate looking after his brother—but she told them they were welcome, as were the Weasleys, any time they liked.
That was how Theo ends up with Hermione and Seamus staring at a quaint little cottage close enough to the beach that the path they're on is covered in sand. Theo's heart races slightly as he thinks about the people those four walls contain. He can't imagine any of them will have a particularly good impression of him because of his house, but he hopes that they'll be able to see past the fact he was a Slytherin in school since he is arriving with two Gryffindors.
He isn't surprised when he enters the house and all but two wands—Longbottom's and an older redhead's who Theo assumes is another Weasley—are trained on him. In fact, what surprises him is the fact that two wands aren't trained on him.
"Seamus?" Longbottom asks incredulously. "I thought I was the only one from our dorm left! Where's Dean? Is he with you?"
Longbottom tries to peer around the three of them and out the door. Theo puts a hand on Seamus' shoulder and squeezes gently. "Touchy subject," Theo says. He has to hold back a slight chuckle as he's hit with a wave of deja vu. "I wouldn't mention it if I were you."
"Neville, don't," Hermione says as Longbottom reaches for his wand. "All of you put those away. He's fine. Hannah and her grandmother vouched for him, and I think he might be exactly who we need for Neville's plan to work."
"Why are you all just standing there?" Fleur asks, entering the room with a tray of drinks levitating in front of her. "Oh, we 'ave guests! Come in. I'll 'ave to fetch more glasses."
Fleur sets the tray down on the table and disappears again. Theo takes a few tentative steps into the room and the other occupants part for him.
"How exactly is he supposed to help us?" the female Weasley asks. Theo curses himself for not bothering to learn their names while in school, it probably would have given him a slightly better chance at proving his trustworthiness.
"Neville's plan needed someone to infiltrate the Death Eaters," Hermione explains. Theo hasn't heard the plan all the way through yet, so he's interested to learn as much as he can. "Theo was a Slytherin and his dad was a Death Eater. Who could be more perfect?"
Theo shakes his head. "No. I may be a Slytherin, but no one is going to believe I'm a Death Eater. My father knows I never agreed with their politics, they'll think I'm playing a game or work out I'm a spy." He swallows, his mouth dry as he thinks of his next words. "I do know someone who might work, though. Blaise. We're not speaking, but it won't take long to find him."
Nods spread around the room. Whether in agreement or understanding he isn't sure, but Theo has a new task to pursue; getting Blaise back on his side.
Word Count: 4,383.
This is for:
Hogwarts World Cup Event – Denmark;
Voldemort Wins!au
Hogwarts Yearly Event – Insane House Challenge;
304. (spell) Wingardium Leviosa
Hogwarts Yearly Event – 365 Prompts;
9. (action) running
Hogwarts Yearly Event – Fanfic Resolutions;
36. Pick your favourite 'what if' and write — 'what if Harry stayed dead'
Hogwarts Writing Club – Character Appreciation;
19. (character) Hannah Abbott. [bonus for using Neville]
Hogwarts Writing Club – Disney Challenge;
C1 – Write about someone running away
Hogwarts Writing Club – Shannon's Showcase;
12. (dialogue) "How did you get so brave?" / "I learned it from you."
Hogwarts Writing Club – Book Club;
Slightly – (action) eye rolling, (object) cloth, (word) game
Hogwarts Writing Club – Showtime;
7. (action) crying
Hogwarts Writing Club – Count Your Buttons;
O3 – Book
C1 – Theodore Nott
W1 – Young
Hogwarts Writing Club – Lo's Lowdown;
Q1 – Revolutions spring not from accident, but necessity
Hogwarts Writing Club – Bex's Biscuit Barrel;
Rich Tea – (word) wrong, (character) Theodore Nott, (emotion) disgust, (dialogue) "I can't even look at you right now.", (au) Voldemort Wins, (hp type thing) Hogwarts letter
Hogwarts Seasonal Event – Days of the Year;
World Snake Day – Write about your favourite Slytherin character (Theo)
Hogwarts Seasonal Event – Summer Prompts;
(word) relax
Hogwarts Seasonal Event – Colour Prompts;
(colour) cinnamon
Hogwarts Seasonal Event – Shay's Musical Challenge;
Newsies – Write about rallying a group of people
Hogwarts Seasonal Event – Gryffindor Themed Prompts;
(character) Neville Longbottom, (trait) daring
Hogwarts July Event – Pinata;
Hard – Trio era
Hogwarts Northern Funfair – Sophie's Ice Cream Stall;
2. Banana Cream Pie – Theodore Nott
25. Pistachio – Hermione Granger
Hogwarts Eastern Funfair – Penny Slot Machine;
13. Theo, 23. Hannah, 27. Hermione
Hogwarts Southern Funfair – Hedge Maze;
(character) Hermione Granger
Hogwarts Fortnightly Event – Canadian Craze!;
4. "It won't take long to find him."
Hogwarts July Event – Hamilton Mania;
Act One – 19. (character) Neville Longbottom
Optional Prompt– 6. (character) Hannah Abbott
Favourite House Bootcamp – Slytherin;
2. (word) shock
Character Diversity Bootcamp – Theodore Nott;
14. (word) little
Favourite Character Bootcamp – Hermione Granger;
5. (word) young