It was just another average day in the town of Teufort. This meant the mayor was illegally running the town into the floor, everyone was drinking lead-poisoned water, and the BLU (Builders League United) and RED (Reliable Excavation and Demolition) teams were blowing each other's heads off. Now, both of these teams consisted of nine people, each named after their respective 'classes': Scout, Soldier, Pyro, Demoman, Heavy, Engineer, Medic, Sniper, and Spy. Today, we will meet the Scouts. Yes, both of them.
The Scout is the youngest out of all of the mercenaries, and is also the most mobile. He can run almost one-and-a-half times the speed of all of the other classes, and can capture points faster than any other class. Somehow, he has learned how to jump again in mid air, but only once… sometimes. It depends on what weapon he has. Anyways, the Scout is pretty bullsh*t sometimes. That's why he also has the least amount of health. Why don't we go see what 2fort's resident BLU Scout is doing?
"You suck!" "Don't bother me, MAGGOT!" "You wanna GO, huh?!" "Grrrr… I'll KILL YOU!" Ah, I see. Taunting the RED team's Soldier. *BOOM* Oh, don't worry, he'll respawn in a moment.
So, Scout. On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate yourself? "Well, I guess i'd rate myself… A TEN! Nothing less." Really? Why would you say that? "Well, i'm OBVIOUSLY the best. I mean, you haven't interviewed anyone else yet, huh?" Umm, no? "See? I'm the greatest out of EVERYONE! I mean, i'm the fastest, strongest, smartest," Alright, let's leave him to that. "Did I mention fastest? Yeah, i'm the best there is. Hey, where did you go?"
Okay, so that was the BLU scout. A little… self centered, I guess. Now we'll go check on the RED scout… *CRACK!* Woah, what was that? Oh. The BLU Pyro was just launched into orbit. *CRACK!* And there goes the BLU Sniper. Hey, isn't that the RED Scout? Hey, what are you doing? "Hey! Who're you?" I'm simply interviewing the different people on both teams. "Huh." Anyways, what are you- *CRACK!* "I'm practicing home runs, obviously!" Wow. How far did he go? "Beats me. Anyway, you said you were interviewing people? Well check this out!" Wow. That's a nice bat. "Yep. Nice and light. Good for hittin' home runs." Huh. How far can you hit a ball? "Oh, no. You misunderstand, bro. This bat's not for hittin' balls. It's for beatin' knuckleheads!" Ah. I see. That makes sense, I guess. "I've gotta different bat for doin' both. Made o' wood. The reason I like this bat more is cuz I can triple jump with it." Wow! Really? "Yup. Uh, listen, bud, I gotta get back to my job." I understand. You're much cooler than the BLU Scout, though. "Really?" Yeah. You go back to your job. "Alright, seeya!" Well, he was nice. Nicer than the BLU Scout. *CRACK!* Wow, that guy went absolutely flying! Anyway, that's it for this episode, tune in next time to meet the Soldiers!
Well. That was… something. The first nine chapters will be styled like this. After that, we get into the actual fighting. Hey, bonus points if you can guess what bat the RED Scout has!