Even Death Can't Do Us Apart

Fandom: Queer as Folk (QAF_US)

Rating: T

Genre: Angst-Semi Horror-Romance

Pairing/Characters: Brian x Justin, Michael

Summary: Brian's world was crumbling when Justin was gone from his life. However, the last vow they made was still haunting him until now. It was such an irresponsible vow, because now neither of them could let go. Justin was supposed to be gone. But Brian couldn't erase his presence, not now, not ever.

Disclaimer: QAF belongs to its respected owner. Only borrow the characters for fun purpose. No profit is made from this.

Warning: strong language, ideas of homosexuality, character's death, ideas of supernatural beings, psychological damage, etc…

A/N: I decide starting story with crossover is not a good idea because only few people check that section, so… I intend to make my name known from this piece. I believe there's still not enough horror in this fandom, so I will make one, even though it's just semi-horror. I hope you try and enjoy reading this.

Even Death Can't Do Us Apart

Justin giggled when he was caressing the ring on his ring finger, while he and I were laying on our bed, sated and content. "You want me to keep this, despite me leaving anyway to New York?"

"You don't want to?" I whispered near his ear seductively and he giggled even more.

"Of course I want to, but why?" Justin then looked at my eyes with his baby blue, expecting something.

I was silent for a moment, thinking. "I don't know… maybe because I don't want you to forget?" I said with a small smile.

"Forget what?" Justin smirked while leaning closely to my face that our warm breath mingled together.

"That your ass is mine?" I smirked wickedly and Justin laughed at that.

"Jeez, Brian… I don't know you're that possessive," he was still laughing when he tilted his head and kissed my lips with small innocent kisses.

"I need a long time to admit what I am feeling, and I don't want to lose it," I said with the most honest tone I could make. After all, it was important that he knew, that I did love him the way he loved me.

Eventually, Justin calmed down from his laugh before he hugged my neck and whispered lightly in my ear. "Of course I won't forget. See, even though we're not married, and even though we don't have any vow to prove our love, you and I know the best that we love each other," Justin then loosened his hug and once again gazed at my hazel eyes. He smiled gently and kissed my lips softly. "I love you Brian Kinney, and nothing can break our strong bond, nothing."

I kissed him back with fervor. "Yeah," I replied between kisses. "Nothing."

"We'll always be together forever?" Justin inquired as his hand began to roam on my body and his touches sent shivers, so hot throughout my entire being that I was hard again before I knew it. I even didn't really catch what he was saying because I was distracted by his touch.

"Yeah, always," I replied carelessly as I too, began to touch him the way he liked, make him moan and groan as once again, I made him bloom beautifully under my skillful bed technique.

It was the last night we were together because the day later, Justin would be going to go to New York. He was gone from my loft when I woke up the next morning, leaving a note saying: "Even death can't do us apart."

I didn't go to the airport to send Justin off to New York, and went to work like my usual morning, trying hard not to think that we wouldn't be together physically for sometime from now on. But I could remember vividly our encounter the night before. And the vow that was carelessly said in the moment of pleasure distracted me all day.

Michael called me after the flight, and yelled at me for being so uncaring, but I ignored his bitching. Mel and Lindsay would also fly to Toronto in a short time. My Sonny Boy would be gone as well with them. Everyone would go leaving me behind, but it was alright. I could always see Justin if I wanted to. I just had to fly to New York. Same case with Gus, I just had to fly to where he was.

Everything would be okay. I could handle this despite the pang I felt in my chest.

That night, I went to Woodies with Michael and friends to drink.

"I can't believe you just let him go without any parting words," Michael was still bitching to me about this morning event.

"Mickey, Justin and I already had a wonderful parting fuck last night," I smiled at him happily.

"Yeah, but still! You can at least show that you care!" he was fuming.

I sighed. "I do care. I just don't like being exploited," I smirked and he huffed. After all, Mickey didn't know our vow, a vow that wouldn't separate us no matter how far we're from each other.

When I was smiling to myself remembering our fantastic night last night, the television in the Woodies suddenly spouted something unexpected.

"…at the plane crash today, 58 bodies are still missing and the recovered ones are too damaged to be identified by the coroner. The recognized bodies are matched to the plane seats and here is the latest list of the dead casualties…"

I was suddenly interested to look at the screen as I heard the news. Michael and everyone were also drawn to the news as they seemed realizing what kind of news that was.

"…Bernard, Audrey; Christian, Harold; Durkman, Rose; Fisherman, Elenoir; Foster, Immanuel; Taylor, Justin…"

I widened my eyes when I heard the reporter. "What?" I couldn't believe what I was seeing as I hurriedly stood up and went closer to the screen while the others began to gasp and curse.

"Oh my God…!" Michael clapped his mouth in horror as he also saw what I saw.

There, on the white sheet of paper that was onscreen was his name. Taylor, Justin. Dead casualties. Justin's name was on the dead casualties list. Justin was…

My legs wobbled as I lost my strength, and if Mickey hadn't been behind me and caught me just in time, I would have collapsed on the floor, crashing, just like my whole world that crashed down altogether into pieces as I recalled what the reporter had said.

Justin… dead…?

"Brian!" Mickey tried to call me and slapped my face several times, but I just couldn't respond to him right now.

My brain was overloaded with too much information I didn't want to know. Justin was gone. For real. And not just gone to another town. He was gone from this world, and no matter how much money I had, I couldn't go to him now, because no vehicle could reach that place.

But, I didn't cry.

I couldn't cry.

Because that vow was still ringing on my ears.

We'll always be together… forever.

It was the day of Justin's funeral.

Of course I attended his funeral, the next day after his body was identified by Jennifer. She and Molly, Justin's sister, were crying hard at the hospital, and at the funeral. In spite of seeing all the grief and pain erected by Justin's death, I still couldn't cry.

I just stared at his coffin, didn't dare looking at his face. Justin wouldn't want me to look at him now. Just a glimpse of his burnt body was making me nauseous, so I didn't see him all the way. His beautiful blue eyes and blond hair were no longer there. He would hate me if I looked at him now. I was so sure, so I didn't look at him. I wanted to remember him as the most beautiful person I'd ever known, and I didn't want to soil that memory by looking at his body now.

When it was the time to share our memories with Justin, I couldn't think of anything. Everyone expected me to say something, but those memories I had with him were like swallowed by something hollow in my chest. They looked disappointed when I didn't say anything,

Later that night I realized, I didn't want to share any of my memories with Justin. Now that Justin was gone, those memories were mine and mine alone.

It'd been seven days since Justin's funeral.

Despite everything that had happened, nothing changed. Life just went on like the usual Liberty Avenue. Jenifer and Molly were still grieving, but they were trying to move on.

It was me who couldn't.

I still didn't believe that Justin was gone. I refused to believe. If he was gone for real, something would change inside me, right? But I hadn't changed. I was still here. I was still in love with him. I was still expecting the phone call from him, telling me that New York was great and he had broken through the competition to be the best artist there.

Every night, when I saw the phone, I dialed the numbers that I'd memorized from a long time ago.

"Hi, Justin Taylor here. At the moment, I can't answer the phone. Please leave your message after the beep,"

"Hey, it's a week already. Will you return the call this time?" I said, speaking to him while hearing his recorded voice over and over again. I always wanted to hear his voice. Hearing his voice could make me live a day longer. And somehow in the twisted part of my mind, I was hoping that might be this time, this time Justin would answer the phone, and might be next time he would return the call.

In the morning, I went to work like always despite Ted's worried glance as he caught me phoning Justin's cell phone in my office. And useless prick Theodore just had to open his big stupid mouth to Mickey about it.

"Brian, you will go with me to a psychiatrist," Michael said with serious anxious gaze.

"Ah, what an honor to have you here, Mickey. What's the occasion? Was Rage sold out again?" I asked with an innocent fake smile from my chair, purposely ignoring Michael's request.

"Brian, you've got to stop this. Seriously, phoning Justin's cell phone?" Mickey looked absolutely worried now, and I had to remember that I had an employee to fire for that piece of information.

I smiled calmly at Mickey. "It's not like that, Mickey. I just dialed the wrong number," I said.

"And the wrong number is coincidentally Justin's? Brian, I am not that stupid," he threw suspicious glare at me, mixed with troubled expression. "How many times have you dialed his number?"

I was getting impatient by his accusing tone. "Come on, Mickey. I am fine. It's just the thing I do to cope," I said, my fake smile was already gone.

"Fuck, Brian, since when have you been coping that way? You're Brian Kinney! You cope with fucking everyone that interests you!" Mickey shouted now, looking desperate.

And that was the last straw. "Fuck you, Michael. You don't know anything," I stood with a cold glare and Mickey was visibly flinched at that. "It's not your fucking business, so leave me the fuck alone." I said with finality and Michael looked almost cry at that.

"Brian…."

"Get out," I said, cutting his line.

"But—,"

"OUT!" I yelled at him furiously now, even using my gesture to force him leave. Michael winced and edged closer to the door with a resign sigh.

"You know, Justin wouldn't want you to suffer like this, Brian," Michael threw his sad gaze at me for the last time, and he was gone.

I slumped back to my chair and closed my eyes while sighing. Michael didn't understand. Justin couldn't be dead. We still had that promise. And Justin even left me his note.

I took the note for my pocket and stared at Justin's writing.

"Even death won't do us apart, right, Sunshine?" I smiled at the note and closed my eyes again contently.

It was the 40th day after Justin was buried.

Like every night, I still tried to phone him, hearing his voice over and over, and I thought everything was perfect.

Except, this time something strange happened.

When I heard Justin's recorded voice in the phone, there was a buzzing sound like the sound of radio which wasn't on the right channel. I thought his recorded voice broke, but then…

"Bri—an…?"

I widened my eyes as I heard that voice. It wasn't very clear because of the buzzing sound, but I was sure. I was so sure I knew that voice, since I heard that voice almost every day.

"Jus—," I was about to call his name when the voice spoke again. I tried my hardest to make out what he was saying.

"…ro—mise—I—remem—ber… the—v—ow—…"

The buzzing sound was getting louder, so I couldn't hear anymore.

"Justin—!" I called him, but out of blue, there was a click and suddenly…

"…the number you're calling is out of service. Please try again later."

I looked at the phone in disbelief for a moment after the cut. "Out of service? What the fuck! I finally connect to him!" I yelled furiously at the service operator who of course wouldn't hear or responded to my anger since it was a recorded system.

I hanged up and tried to dial again. However, this time, it was never Justin's recorded voice again that replied him. It was always that idiotic asshole operator. "FUCK!" I threw the phone carelessly on the floor, not caring if I broke it.

I dug the base of my palm to my eyes. "I finally connected to him…! Finally heard his reply…!"

Justin was still here. He wasn't gone. He wasn't gone from my life.

That night I went straightly to Michael's home. I pounded at his door and forced him to come out.

"Brian?" Michael looked stunned as he saw how excited I was.

"Listen to me, Mickey! You won't believe it! I phoned Justin's cell phone just now—"

"What, again? Brian, what I told you about—!"

"Shut up and listen!" I shook Mickey's shoulders hard. "He replied me, Mickey! Justin fucking replied my words!" I beamed at him like a child, I knew. It was a bit embarrassing, but I didn't care. Justin was still here. He wasn't going anywhere.

At that, Michael face paled slightly, not the reaction that I expected. "Brian… you do know how fucking horrible, strange and odd that sounds right?" Michael's face was downright frightened now. "You've been having hallucination…."

"It's not a fucking hallucination!" I yelled at him angrily. "I heard his voice, Mickey! From the fucking phone!"

Michael shook his head at him with sad pitiful expression.

"Why won't you believe me? I didn't lie!" I was already hysterical that time, shaking Michael's shoulders so hard I was sure I was hurting him.

Ben was ready to part us when Michael yelled.

"Get a grip of yourself, Brian! Justin is dead! He's gone already! Accept the fact, you asshole! You made everyone worried over you!"

That was like a thunderstruck striking right at my core.

"Fuck you, Michael! Justin might be dead, but he's still here!" I screamed at him.

Ben and Michael widened their eyes in a shocked look at my outburst.

"He's still here…," I said more calmly now, digesting my own words. "That's right… I heard him on the phone… He's here, Michael. He's not going anywhere…." I slowly released my grip from Michael with a smile because I was happy.

That was fucking right. Justin didn't leave me. That was awesome, right?

I turned around, intending to go. So what if Mickey didn't believe? It wasn't his business anyway.

"Brian? Where are you going?" Michael's voice was hoarse and sounded really on edge.

"I am going home to Justin," I said with a grin before I was out of the picture.

"Brian, wait!"

I ignored Michael's call when I was going back to my car and I didn't hear him as he yelled my name when I speeded back to my loft.

When I arrived at the loft, something had changed. Justin's favorite magazine was on the table, opened at Justin's favorite page. I smiled sincerely at that. "Welcome home, Sunshine."

It was almost a month after that phone call, and I was losing it.

There was no sign of Justin anywhere, and no more phone calls. I couldn't contact him because of that stupid operator. Why wouldn't he contact me this time? Was he hiding? But why?

Michael was here again to convince me to go to shrink, but like hell would I go. Everyone was just the same. They didn't believe me when I said Justin was still here.

I didn't know how long I could stand those pitiful gazes thrown by everyone at me. I wasn't crazy. I knew that I was right. Sunshine was never gone. He couldn't, because we had vowed.

But even though I believed it, I could only hold on for that long, because despite my denial, it was hurting me. I wanted to see him. I wanted to touch him. I wanted to hear his voice responding to my words again. I wanted him. I wanted him so badly it was unbearable.

If only I could go to him, that would be faster and easier.

With that determination I went to the booze store to purchase six bottles of vodka. I would drink them all at once and let myself get an acute alcohol poisoning. I wouldn't want to have a messy death if I want to die anyway.

However, when I tried to drink the first bottle on my couch, the base of the bottle mysterious shattered and the liquid wet my shirt and my long pants. "What the FUCK?" I was totally surprised. That alcohol store gave me a lousy bottle?

I clicked my tongue and threw away the remaining of the bottle in my hand, and then went to the second when suddenly it was ejected away from my hand until it fell on the floor and shattered as well. "Huh?" I was totally confused now. I hadn't drunk, had I?

Not wanting to give up, I tried to reach the third bottle, but then it suddenly shattered as well even before I touched it, the liquor wetting my coffee table and my Italian brand carpet. And before I could react, the fourth, fifth and even the sixth bottle suddenly rolled over and fell to the floor and crashed into pieces of glasses, and the alcohol was wetting my carpet and floor even more.

I stared at the strange devastation that occurred of my living room with an uneasy feeling. I had a suspicion that probably, Justin didn't like my idea of going after him, but I wanted to make sure.

I walked to the kitchen area to find a bottle of sleeping pills. But before I could even reach it, the cupboard's door suddenly opened and almost smacked me in the face. Lucky I dodged in time. After that, like the instant earthquake, all the drawers and doors were sliding out and in and opening and closing hard like crazy and there was very loud repeated tapping sound on my roofs that I had to cover my ears. It was as if there was a poltergeist in my loft. All the pointed sharp things were ejected out, away from my direction, as if they tried to run away from my grasp.

Everything was becoming crazier as the foyer and the cupboard began to shake as well, making every fragile glass and plate fall down to the floor and smash despite the calm ground. I was scared as hell, but then this might be a warning from Justin.

"Okay! I understand! I won't do anything like that! I won't hurt myself anymore!" I shouted hard, trying to win the shaking things around me.

After my shout, every activity inexplicably stopped.

When I thought everything had gone back to normal, I was sitting on the kitchen floor, heart hammering inside my ribcage like it was about to burst out. I looked around me, and everything was in a mess.

"Aah…," I sighed and put my forehead on my arm with one of my knee supporting that arm. "You… don't want me to go to your place, huh…?" I chuckled at that. Despite everything else, I was flattered that Justin still loved me that much and didn't want me to get hurt.

But I really miss you… Justin…!

That time, I couldn't hold my tears as they fell down from the first time after his death. Then I felt something cold brushing my cheek, as if it was trying to dry my tears.

I finally realized that Justin was really here, beside me, and he was looking out for me.

From time to time now, I could feel Justin's presence around me. It wasn't physical and I couldn't see him for shit, but I was sure it was him.

Sometimes it was in the kitchen. The plates that I had stored inside the drawer mysteriously appeared at my foyer. It was as if Justin reminded me to eat. "Thanks for the reminder," I always said and I could picture he was beaming happily like a child.

Sometimes in the bathroom, after I finished showering and closed the tap, it suddenly opened again and I heard the shower run for a minute or so. I always laughed after thinking even Justin needed shower despite his non-existent physical body.

Sometimes it was late at night when I heard his crying voice. I always had a nightmare when I heard it. Justin was in pain after the accident. He needed my help. I needed to go to him fast, and then I always woke up with sweats all over my body, and just then I felt a cold feather-like touched on my hand and I knew he was there to comfort me. I also noticed a new shirt beside me. A shirt which was supposed to be in my drawer. I always knew he wanted me to change before I got cold from all that sweats. Even until now, he was always taking care of me.

Sometimes, I could see his shadow and silhouette. Once I saw him sitting on the edge of my bed when I woke up in the middle of the night.

"Justin?"

He didn't turn around and didn't say anything. He only nodded slightly, informing me that he heard me. When I tried to touch him, he just disappeared.

Then when things got hectic, or dangerous, or complicated, things just started smashing and breaking on its own accord like the first time I realized Justin was there. Once it happened at Kinnetic, when some new intern was trying to flirt with me. Ted and Cyntia, and my other employees were surprised and shocked at the shattered glass of windows and the wrecked tables and chairs.

"What the hell just happened?" Ted asked in confusion and everyone started to gossip in puzzled look.

"I am sorry, Sunshine. I won't flirt back at him. Don't worry, I am all yours," I whispered lightly, trying to calm Justin down. He could be such a jealous twat, but I was happy because he gave a shit.

Things got heavier and heavier each day. I could feel Justin's presence stronger and stronger. My nightmare was getting more intense every night to the point I couldn't go back to sleep. I was at the edge of exhaustion, but I just couldn't sleep anymore despite the lack of it. My mind wouldn't let me rest because I felt Justin everywhere, and I wanted to touch him so badly.

Despite my happiness that he wouldn't leave me forever, I was hurting every day. I was hurting because I couldn't see him directly, couldn't speak to him. My whole body ached for some reason I didn't know, I was totally at my limit.

"Justin…, Justin… please… Please… it's enough…. It's enough…!"

My world was beginning to crumble once again. I couldn't concentrate on anything, couldn't think and couldn't function like a normal human being. I was trapped and ensnared in his strong presence that I couldn't breathe properly. "Please… just take me. Take me away with you…"

I was hiding in my room, not going anywhere, not showing up to work. I couldn't. I just wanted to sleep, but I couldn't sleep. Mickey, Emmet and Ted, and Deb, and everyone were trying to talk to me, but I just ignored them. They even forcefully brought me to the hospital, but I didn't really talk to the doctor as well. No one was going to believe me anyway.

I refused to eat, and refused to take any medicine either. I refused to take any iv. It was enough. I'd had enough.

And then…

"Justin…" I was very weak when I opened my eyes from my non-sleeping rest. My breath was harsh and heavy and painful I wished I could just stop breathing altogether. That was when I saw him, Justin, beside me, holding my hand with his transparent one. I chuckled. "Why… I can see you now…?" My voice was cracking, frail, and was barely heard even to my ears, but it was hard to say something with that kind of condition.

Justin leaned in closer to me and whispered faintly. "Together… forever…." He was smiling softly at me and I knew I would be able to go with him this time.

"Even death… can't do us apart." I replied him slowly and suddenly, my breathing was much easier to take. I closed my eyes as I felt the warmth from his usually cold hands. It was comforting and soothing the ache in my heart and body. With a final breath, finally, I could sleep.

And this time, I didn't need to open my eyes anymore, because here I was with Justin, hand in hand, together forever and ever.

~Fin~

A/N: Angst? Well damn, not exactly happy ending, but they got together in the end, anyway. Even though it's not in the living world. Damn it. This is the first time I make a death fic. And boy, the horror didn't come out right. Brian isn't scared of Justin's ghost huh? Well, whatever. At least I tried. So? What's your opinion? Tell me folks. Because your constructive critique is my fuel to make more stories ^_^.