Summary: Calleigh ditches Eric, dates Jake, things go bad and she realizes the one she's meant to be with was right in front of her all along. CaRWash by the end, trust me. Calleigh's POV. My inspiration was "Face Down" by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.
Author's Note: Here's my take on how I'd like Calleigh to dump Jake and if all goes well, she also hooks up with Ryan. I worte Calleigh a little out of character, because I would love to see a vulnerable Calleigh, a Calleigh that needs help, needs rescuing and Ryan's the one to do it. Ever since this song "Face Down" by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus came out on the radio I've wanted to write a CaRWash fic based off it. I might write a second chapter from Ryan's POV. Please read, please enjoy, please review.
Face Down
By: supercsi4
I had kissed Eric, not really thinking about it and launched the entirely wrong signal about us. Eric is such a player and he and I are so completely different, we could never be anything but friends, there's no chemistry there, no sparks, no nothing. I was looking for love in all the wrong places and I blame it on Ryan Wolfe. I had become a bit depressed after Ryan had been fired, he wasn't there everyday to make me smile, to be there after a rough case to make me laugh. So then I decided to move on to something a little more comfortable, or should I say move back to something a little more comfortable…Jake. When he kissed me in the lab it was like all those feelings I had for him flowed right back into my body. What was wrong with me? What did I think I could just go around kissing guys until I found Mr. Right? Me, Calleigh Duquesne was desperate to find love.
Well I believe almost everyone deserves a second chance, so I decided to give one to Jake. I mean how many second chances had I given Ryan? His gambling money turned up in an investigation and made my money look bad and then he had gotten involved with that reporter bitch, which didn't do anything but complicate everything and then he goes and even gets fired when his gambling problems came back into play again when he was connected to a suspect in our case. Well, long story short, I've given Ryan lots of second chances because I mean he's…um…he's Ryan and I love him…well I mean in the way you love your best friend, nothing romantic or anything, but…why do I keep bringing up Ryan?
Anyways, back to Jake…So it had been three months since he kissed me in the lab and one morning we were in my kitchen and he dropped the bomb on me. He said that his rent was up at the end of that month and he thought we should move in together. I tried to argue that we were moving too fast and I didn't think it was a good idea, but Jake has this way of disregarding everything I say and somehow convincing me to agree with him…so I did.
"Calleigh Duquesne, the strongest, most hard headed, smartest, most independent woman I've ever met, agreed to move in with a guy after three months, no way," that's how Ryan put it. I couldn't believe it myself either, but I wanted so much for this relationship to work and we had known each other for years, so honestly maybe we actually weren't moving that fast. But sitting at the table across from Ryan, I could see the doubt it his eyes, the worry, and maybe even some anger.
After Ryan had been rehired back at the lab, only a few weeks after he was fired, he and I were right back to normal, like nothing had happened. Ryan is probably my best friend and we were able to find that relationship, that friendship, once again when he came back to me, I mean when he came back to the lab, and since then we have had a weekly dinner date every Friday night to unwind and just hang out. We would alternate between choosing the restaurant and that night I told him Jake would be moving in with me, we were at one of my favorite restaurants that I almost always chose. I didn't really like change, trying new things, Ryan didn't either. The weekly dinner date had started out as more of a way we could get out and try new things together, but it always ended up at the same restaurants talking all night, two best friends enjoying each others company. But Jake had begun getting jealous of Ryan.
Ryan had looked down at his steak during dinner and said, "Moving in together is something you decide on in bed together one morning. You roll over and say, 'I don't want to wake up ever again without you by my side. Let's move in together…Not, 'Hey my rent is up, why don't I move in with you?'"
I looked up at Ryan and for a split second I could imagine rolling over in bed to meet his eyes and hearing that same line escape from his mouth. Ryan always knew what to say, always said the right things, the things I needed to hear and he was right.
Driving home from the restaurant that night my mind wondered back to Ryan, as it often did. I don't know why, but lately something was changing between us. We had this chemistry and a somewhat attraction, he'd just brush by me in the lab and it sent chills up my spine, sparks would fly when our hands would touch as I handed him a lab report. What was wrong with me? I was dating a good guy, but at night before I fell asleep, Ryan would be the last thing on my mind, and when I'd awake in the morning the first thing I'd think of is if we'd get to work a case together. Why didn't anything ever happen between us? He's too young for me, I'm practically his boss, he's…smart, sweet, easy to talk to, sexy as hell, stop Calleigh, stop.
That night after talking with Ryan I had decided that moving in together was not the right thing for us to do yet. It shouldn't be something you decide to do because it's convenient, because someone's rent is up at the end of the month. It should be something you do when it feels right. Jake on the other hand didn't think so. I arrived home later then usual because Ryan and I went for a walk on the beach after dinner.
Jake was waiting up for me, "Out late with Ryan again huh?" he had been drinking I could tell.
"Please don't start Jake, I'm going to bed, I've got work in the morning." I didn't feel like arguing with a drunk, jealous Jake, so I also decided to hold off on the moving in together talk until the next day.
"Well, I wanna talk about it," he jumped up off the couch and grabbed me by the arm, "Do you two actually go out to dinner or do you just go over to his place to fuck him every week?"
His words hit me right in the face and I felt as if he just stabbed me in the chest. "You know I'd never cheat on you and I didn't want to get into this tonight, but I don't think we should move in together either," I say as I rip my arm from his grasp and head into the kitchen.
"Listen bitch, don't walk away from me," he demands as he grabs me by my forearms and spin me around to face him.
"Jake stop, you're hurting me."
"Did your little fuck buddy Ryan tell you not to move in with me? You know he's in love with you, I see how he looks at you. He doesn't want you to be with me, he doesn't want you to be happy."
"Well, it looks as though I'd be happier with him anyways," I say just before his hand comes in contact with me face, slapping me and knocking me to the ground.
"You're not worth this," he groans, leaving my apartment and slamming the door behind him.
After seeing Yelina come into work with that black eye, I wondered how a woman in our line of work could let that happen to her, but as I stand in front of my bathroom mirror trying to cover the red handprint across the side of my face I realize that sometimes we are blinded by love, or at least what we wish will be love. I think I'm trying so hard to find love, to find my soul mate that now I have ended up here. Back with my ex-boyfriend who has already cheated on me once in the past and last night was the last straw when he slapped me across the face. Face down in the dirt, I said this doesn't hurt, I said I've finally had enough. It was over between me and Jake.
Ryan stops me in the locker room that day and immediately notices my face. I guess I didn't cover it up as well as I had thought. He takes a deep breath, "God Calleigh, you drive me crazy. I see what's going down. You try to cover up with make-up in the mirror, tell yourself it's never gonna happen again. I bet you think he still loves you."
I fly toward him to yell back at him, to tell him it's over between me and Jake, but I'm speechless. He waves his hand between us and says forget it and I involuntarily flinch because his hand comes near my face.
"Cal, you need help and you need to leave Jake. You just flinched at my hand…my hand, Cal! You're becoming one of those women we have to question during a domestic abuse case, worse yet, one of those women who end up getting killed by their abusive boyfriends. You know I'd never lay a hand on you and I can't keep doing this until you are ready to accept my help and admit that you need it…because I just love you too much." The last part of his declaration slipped out quietly as he had turned and was leaving the locker room. I was trying so hard to make this work, to find love, to find happiness and it had been right in front of my face all this time. Ryan Wolfe.
Walking thru the lab later on that day I caught a glimpse of Ryan walking into the layout room where Jake was standing, oh shit, this is not going to end well, I thought, but I walk a little closer to hear what's going on, but I remain out of sight from the both of them. "Do you feel like a man when you push her around? Did you feel better when she fell to the ground? Well, you know what Jake," Ryan said as he stepped a foot closer to Jake and poked him in the chest with his finger, "If you lay a hand on her again, I swear to god I'll kill you. And I've already lost my job once, I'd do it again for Calleigh."
"If you love her so much, why didn't you ever make a move man?"
"I'm done with this conversation," that's all Ryan said before he walked away. I've never had a man stand up for me, never needed one to, but Ryan did.
I didn't speak to Ryan the rest of the week and Friday came and it was his choice of a restaurant, but we never talked about it, but I knew where he'd be. Late after work I drove out to his favorite spot on the beach, we'd go there often times after our Friday night dates. Sure enough there he was, out on the beach, sitting on a log of driftwood, staring out into the ocean. I slowly creep down the beach toward him and as I approach, I notice him tense up a little, he knows I'm there, but still he says nothing as I sit down on the log next to him.
"Every action in this world has a consequence," I begin, "if you wait around forever you are sure to drown, I see what's going down, I see the way you always say you're right again. Say you're right again Ryan, say you were right about Jake, say I should have listened to you…Say you love me." He turns his head quickly to look at me and I'm already looking at him. But still he says nothing, so I continue, "I broke up with Jake, I realized that I could never love a man who laid a hand on me, who lied to me, who didn't trust, who…wasn't you."
Now I'm starting to cry, I'm letting a lot out here, words and now tears, "Ryan, I just…" but I don't get the rest of my words out before his lips are on mine and I realize this is it. There's that spark I never felt when I kissed Eric or Jake, there's that burning chemistry I've never felt with another man, there's that love I have so desperately needed. I have found my soul mate, my Mr. Right, my Ryan Wolfe.
"Face Down"
By: The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Hey girl you know you drive me crazy
One look puts the rhythm in my head
Still I never understood why you hang around
I see what's going down
Try to cover up with make-up in the mirror
Tell yourself it's never gonna happen again
You cry that he swears he loves you
Do you feel like a man
When you push her around
Do you feel better now
As she falls to the ground
Well I'll tell you my friend
One day this world's gonna end
As our lives crumble down
A new life
She has found
A paddle in the water makes a red bulls eye
Every action in this world has a consequence
If you wait around forever you are sure to drown
I see what's going down
I see the way you always say you're right again
Say you're right again
He loves her
Face down in the dirt
She says this doesn't hurt
She said
I've finally had enough
One day she wailed to you
That she's has had enough
He's coming 'round again
Face down in the dirt
She says this doesn't hurt
She said
I've finally had enough