DISCLAIMER:This story takes place before Doof became good.
"Everyone," Linda puts down the spoons in front of the cereal bowls, "please make sure your rooms are cleaned because we will have company for dinner."
Candace's head perks up. "Company? Who?"
"A friend of mine named Charlene. " she replies. "She also has a daughter around your age and she is coming later with her father so make sure you make her feel welcomed."
"Okay, mom. What's her name?"
"I'm pretty sure it's Vanessa."
"Hmmm. I think I know Vanessa but I'm not entirely sure. Do you know her last name?" Candace rubs her chin.
"It's Doofenshmirtz." Linda says.
Meanwhile, Ferb's eyes quickly widened and Perry spits out his water back into his drinking bowl.
"Perry, ew!" Candace groans.
Oh god. Perry thought.
"Anyways, I know Vanessa! I'm excited to see her later." Candace continued.
"Well, then that's great!" Linda replies back.
Not for me. Perry mentally shrieked. He quickly finishes eating his breakfast and makes way to his lair to inform his superior the news.
"Great googly moogly!" Major Monogram screams on the screen. But he then clears his throat. "Then again, Doofenshmirtz never recognizes you without your hat so just make sure you disable all the chutes you can. I doubt he'll find out about the DNA and pawprint chutes since there's few of them installed in your house. Good luck, Agent P!" Monogram salutes.
Agent P salutes back.
The one day I have a day off. He thought.
It was 6 PM and the doorbell to the Flynn Fletchers home rang. Lawrence opens the door.
"Hello," he greets, "come on in! My name is Lawrence, I'm Linda's husband."
"Hi," Charlene greets back, walking in along with her daughter and ex-husband, "I'm Charlene and this is my daughter, Vanessa and my ex-husband, Heinz."
"Hey, Vanessa!" Candace smiles.
"Hi." Vanessa replies, walking to Candace. Ferb walks up to Vanessa to and mindlessly waves.
"Oh! This is Candace and that's Ferb." Lawrence continues.
"The table is this way." Candace leads.
Everyone introduced themselves and is now sitting at the table.
"Let's eat!" Phineas smiles.
"Hold on, Phineas," Linda pauses, "I hope you fed Perry."
"I did, I just put food in his bowl."
"Okay then." Linda starts eating the food.
Doof blinked though. "Perry?"
"Oh yeah. The boys have a pet platypus named Perry."
"So... a pet named... Perry the Platypus?"
"Yeah, we love him to bits!" Phineas replies.
Perry just kept eating from his bowl, not making eye contact to the table.
"Are you okay, Heinz?" Charlene asks.
He nods in reply. "Y-yes. S-sorry. It's just... I know a platypus also named Perry. He always comes to my place every day to foil my schemes."
"Heinz." Charlene says.
"What? It's true!" Heinz says. Charlene rolls her eyes, however. "Bu- Vanessa, you've seen him. It's true!"
"Don't bring me into this." she replies.
Heinz then drops it and continues eating.
"I never saw a platypus that does something like that, for that matter. Ours doesn't do anything." Phineas replies.
"Well except being absent for half the day." Ferb adds.
"Do you want to see him later?" Phineas asks.
"S-sure." Heinz replies. "What do I got to lose?"
After dinner, Phineas and Ferb bring Heinz to their room and sit on Phineas' bed. He then carries Perry up.
"Here he is!" he cheers.
"Awww." Heiz coos. "He's adorable." he begins petting. Perry bites his finger though. "Ouch!"
"Perry! You don't bite guests." Phineas says. Perry didn't feel bad at all. In fact, he was trying to not make his face smile. "Sorry, Dr. D. He never bites."
"It's fine. Platypuses don't really like me anyway. Take the one that always thwarts me for example."
Phineas and Ferb look at each other though.
"Hey, is that your platypus?" Vanessa walks into the room.
"Yeah!" Phineas nods.
"Mind if I pet him?" she asks.
"You can pet him."
Vanessa begins to pet Perry a little, studying the derp-eye platypus a bit.
"He sure does remind me of another platypus." she finally comments.
"How come he didn't bite her?" Heinz asks.
"Not sure." Phineas says.
"I'm gonna go downstairs for a bit." Heinz excuses.
As Heinz was walking down, he went to the kitchen table again to get a drink.
Man, he bit me good. Heinz thinks, rubbing his index finger. As he was drinking, his eyes made contact with beautiful flowers in a vase. He puts his cup down and decides to give them a little sniff.
"Ahchoo!"
Heinz sneezes into Perry's third and empty bowl.
Oh great. I hope they clean his bowls daily. He thinks.
The bowl starts to capture Heinz's saliva however and Perry's name on the bowl begins to slide out, with a computer screen replacing it. Heinz's eyes widen.
What is this?
Perry walks on all fours downstairs, wanting to drink but he spots his bowl scanning Heinz's DNA. He hides behind the island but still watches Doof.
How did he find that? He better not tell anyone! He panics.
"Scanning DNA..." a male voice from the computer says. "DNA does not match." it finally says. The bowl begins to turn back to normal.
Phew. Perry quietly sighs.
Doof blinks at it. What just happened? Hmmm. I wonder if it'll accept Vanessa's DNA. He then goes upstairs and sees her with Candace in Candace's room.
"Um. Sorry to ruin the party. But this will only take a short moment. Vanessa, can you come with me?" Doof then pulls Vanessa before she could even reply.
"DAD!"
Meanwhile, Perry is drinking water but starts to hear footsteps coming his way. He quickly runs back to the island.
"Dad, why would Perry's bowl have a computer in it?" Vanessa asks.
"I don't know but just spit in the bowl. I want to see if your DNA numbers are close to the match."
"I'm not spitting in the bowl!"
Doof then grabs a flower out of the base and puts it next to Vanessa's nose.
"Achoo!" Vanessa sneezed.
The bowl then starts to scan Vanessa's DNA.
"DNA does not match." The computer concludes and switches again.
"See? I wonder whose it is."
"I don't know, Dad." Vanessa replies, wiping her nose.
"Hmmm... I wonder if the platypus' DNA matches."
"And how would you make Perry sneeze into his bowl?" She asks.
"Don't know but maybe if I put a drop of this water he hopefully drank out of during the day, that might work."
Heinz began to dig in his lab coat pocket and revealed a dropper.
"Dad... this is ridiculous. Why did you bring a dropper with you anyways?"
"I bring this everywhere with me, pumpkin." He then starts to pull a little of Perry's water into his dropper.
Oh no. Perry starts to worry once more.
"I'm going to go back to Candace now." Vanessa states.
"No no! Stay here!"
"Ugh. Fine."
Heinz starts to drop his sample into the bowl and once again, it starts to scan.
"Scanning DNA... Processing..."
Perry tries his best to not reveal the worry on his face. All he's doing right now is hoping that his scanner will not reveal that the DNA matches since the water might dilute it.
"DNA matches." the computer says and then begins to suck Doof and Vanessa down the bowl/chute.
Perry's heart is beating so fast right now.
Meanwhile, Doof and Vanessa are slowly sliding down the pipe.
"I wonder where this leads to." Doof says.
The duo finally slides down to Agent P's lair and look around the new setting.
"Wow! Look at all this technology." Doof says and sits in Agent P's chairs, clicking random buttons, trying to see what each do.
"This is nice and all but how do we go you know, back up?" Vanessa freaks out.
"I don't know but if I can find some pieces around here, it'll be great for future -inators." Doof replies, still clicking around, he then clicks one button and a male voice speaks.
"Intruder Trap Activated."
A cage then drops and traps Vanessa.
"Dad!" Vanessa groans and tries to get out.
"Sorry, Vanessa!" Heinz says, trying to find out how to release Vanessa. "Man, there's so many buttons!"
"Bow, Chika, Bow- Wow. That's what my baby says. Mow-mow-mo- DOOFENSHMIRTZ?" Carl screams, dropping his mop.
"DR. COCON- I mean CARL?" Doof screams.
"I'm not getting any younger." Vanessa says.
"Oh right. Can you release my daughter?"
"Sure," Carl replies, walking over to the keyboard, "how did you get in here, anyway?"
"Well you see, Vanessa, Charlene, and I were having dinner tonight at Charlene's friend's house and I accidentally sneezed into their pet platypus' bowl which by the way, he bit me. But anyways h-"
"Carl, are you in here?" Monogram walks in, "I finished my briefings for the day so don't forget to lock headquarters up after you finish cleaning Agent P's lai- Doofenshmirtz, what are you doing here?"
"Agent P? Agent P as in Perry the Platy-"
"Hold on a second, I'm getting a call." Monogram pauses Doof as he answers his wrist communicator. "If you're about to inform us that your nemesis is in your lair then we know already." He says and points his watch to Doof and Carl. Carl waves hi to Agent P.
"Hi, Agent P."
"Say, Agent P, how about you come down here so we can clear everything up?" Monogram suggests.
A few minutes have passed and Agent P goes down to his lair, giving Doof a glare. Doof then tells his story of how he got down here while Carl and Perry release Vanessa.
"Thanks, Perry and Carl." she says.
"Sorry again, Vanessa." Doof apologizes.
"It's fine, Dad." Vanessa accepts as she pats down herself.
"We'll have to erase both of your memories now that you know this much." Monograms says.
"Erase our memory?" Vanessa asks.
"Yes, either that or Agent P gets relocated."
"Relocated? But those boys like Perry the Platypus very much!" Heinz protests.
"Um. Sir, Agent P is not moving."
"What? Agent P. Agent P!" Monogram calls, shaking Perry who is standing in place, not moving a bone.
"Perry, can you hear me?" Vanessa calls in the background, hoping to get his attention.
Agent P's eyes slowly open. His head hurts and his vision is a little fuzzy.
"He's waking up." Carl says from somewhere.
Perry's vision starts to become more clear. He looks around and notices his nemesis and superior are both by his side, looking at him with concern. He then studies more of his setting and realizes he's in Doof's home and lying down on the floor. Agent P decides to sit up.
"Whoa, careful!" Carl exclaims, putting his hand on the agent's back for support.
"Agent P, how are you feeling?" Monogram asks.
Agent P just starts to put his paw on his forehead and slowly nods. Man his forehead is hot. He looks at Doof and then starts to remember it all now. He was thwarting his nemesis and the Explode- inator must've blown up the whole place pretty much when he clicked the self-destruct button. But that doesn't make any sense. Agent P's been around so many explosions so why is this one so special? Agent P started to think even more.
"Man I really shouldn't have programmed the self-destruct button to explode in the Explode- inator which already explodes. Now everything is in ashes pretty much." Doof comments. Agent P stares at Doof, however.
"Yeah, you even almost killed our agent." Monogram replies.
"I said I'm sorry I'll try to plan better next time."
"Here," Carl puts an ice pack on the agent's head, "this should bring your fever down."
Fever? Then it all starts to hit Perry. That's why his head hurts and feels super weak. He was doing his job with a fever!
"Wait! You made Perry the Platypus come here ill! This is your fault too." Doof says.
"Yes, but we didn't know it'll end badly just like how you didn't know your inator will end extra badly."
"How about we all agree that you two are both in the wrong?" Carl intercedes.
Both look at each other and nods.
"Man, I will say, this is pretty shocking to come home to." Vanessa comments.
"Perry the Platypus, I know I already told you this but you look so sick. How about we take a week off?" Doof says.
Agent P blinks and holds a thumbs up. After today, he really does need a rest.
"Carl and I will transport you home." Monogram says.
Hope you guys like this! I'm planning to make another fanfic based on this so look out for that :)