Prompt : Can you write a little fic where Owen takes Amelia home after that Elevator scene, and she lets him? Love your writing!
P.s. So in this fic of mine- Owen doesn't walk away from her like he did on the show.
Amelia Shepherd blinked back tears as she stood outside the hospital nursery with Arizona Robbins. The scene playing out in front of them was just too painful to watch. Alex, being the good colleague he was, and claiming that he was the first one among them to have met Veronica- had offered to break the news to Jeremy. Amelia would have helped to deliver the bad news- but she didn't think she would be able to keep herself together to deliver the news. Muttering an excuse to Arizona, she strode towards the elevator, with the intention of getting to the attending lounge without running into any familiar faces on the way. Her shift was thankfully over, and she just really wanted to go home.
As soon as she stepped into the elevator and found herself alone, Amelia broke down. She had been holding back tears as she didn't want to cry in front of her colleagues. No, she was a tough, strong woman, she would never show any signs of weakness in front of others.
She mourned for Veronica and Jeremy- the couple who should have had it all. They both were suppose to raise their son together. And now, Jeremy had to raise their son alone. Life wasn't fair indeed. Veronica should have been alive to experience motherhood. She had been cruelly taken away from Jeremy and their son.
She cried over the fact that she couldn't save Veronica. Even though she knew that there was nothing that she could have possibly done- she hated this feeling - of not being in control of things, of being powerless and unable to save a life.
She grieved over the fact that the baby, the tiny, perfect, adorable little baby boy, would grow up without a mother. How cruel the universe was- to make an innocent little baby motherless on his first day of life.
Most of all, she cried with fear over the fact that the baby that she was carrying, her and Owen's baby which was conceived just shortly before her fear got in between them, might not turn out to be healthy.
Her mind began to play the 'if only' game. If only Veronica hadn't gotten cancer, she and Jeremy would be happily staring down at their son and admiring his perfect features in the postnatal room right now.
If only her firstborn son was still alive. He'd be 5 years old now, running around, maybe kicking a ball or getting dirty somewhere, giving her a hard time catching up with his constant energy. And maybe Owen would teach him how to fish and how to play soccer.
If only she could be certain that the baby she was carrying now- her and Owen's baby- was healthy.
Owen. Although she hated to admit it- he was another reason that contributed to her emotional breakdown today. He obviously loved her and cared for her so much, and yet she kept on pushing him away. She knew it wasn't fair for him. He was so kind, caring, loving and thoughtful towards her. He didn't deserve this. But she couldn't help it.
The truth was- she was scared. She was afraid that if she bared her entire soul to him and exposed the deepest secrets and scars of her past to him, he would leave her. She was carrying with her an excess amount of baggage from her past, and the last thing she wanted was to impose it on him too. No, she was Amelia Shepherd, she was a strong woman and she could handle it alone.
Except now she couldn't. As she continued sobbing in the elevator, she couldn't help but think of the fact that she had made the wrong decision to distance herself and her baby from Owen. Veronica and Jeremy had waited for too long to declare their love for each other, and now it was too late. Veronica was gone forever, and nothing could bring her back. Had they both discovered that they actually loved each other earlier- they could have shared many beautiful years together before Veronica's death. And now, she was wasting precious time by running away from Owen when he could experience this pregnancy with her. It wasn't right, she realized - to keep a baby away from their father.
As her thought drifted back to Owen, she suddenly realized something. It might be too late for Jeremy and Veronica, but it wasn't too late for her and Owen. They both were still alive and well, and they both had an entire future ahead of them. The one thing she learnt from seeing patients die everyday was the fact that life was too short. If time was so precious, then why was she wasting it running away from a man who obviously loved her?
Maybe, just maybe she should go and talk to Owen and apologize to him for running away like that. The problem was, she was a naturally stubborn person and didn't like to admit her own shortcomings. It would take a lot of courage for her to do that. As tears continued rolling down her cheeks- she wondered what she should do. She had never felt this small and helpless before.
The elevator dinged and stopped, signalling that the door was about to open and someone was about to step into the elevator. Amelia quickly tried to regain her composure, wiping the tears from her eyes. The last thing she wanted was to be caught by a colleague or even a nurse crying in the hospital elevator. She knew that gossip travelled fast in the hospital , and she didn't want to be the central topic.
As if on cue- like he knew she had been thinking about him, the elevator door opened to reveal Owen Hunt.
Realizing that there was no one else with him, Amelia couldn't hold up her strong facade anymore as her face scrunched. Owen….just the person she needed at the moment.
There were no words that needed to be exchanged between them.
Owen just needed one glance at Amelia to know that she wasn't ok and was on the verge of breaking down. Without any hesitation, as if acting on reflex, Owen rushed over to Amelia and engulfed her in a warm, comforting embrace. He didn't know exactly what was going through her mind and the exact emotions that she was feeling at that moment. He didn't even know what to say to her. But what he did know was that she was hurting and needed his support at that moment. So he held her, holding her close to his chest. Gosh how he missed her so! As he pulled her closer so that there was no gap in between them- he thought he felt a soft buldge of her belly. Her belly was usually flat, so this was unusual. Maybe she had put on some weight since the last time he held her.. Knowing that this was not the right time to be asking these sort of questions - he remained silent , hugging her tight instead.
Feeling the warmth and comfort of Owen's hug- Amelia finally let her guard down and sobbed in his arms, releasing the wave of emotions she had kept pented up inside her for so long. She wept and wept in his arms, sobbing for Veronica and Jeremy and their baby, sobbing for her unicorn baby, for this baby she was currently carrying, for Owen, for herself. She sobbed over the fact that the universe wasn't fair and always snatched people away from their loved ones. But most of all, she cried over the fact that she felt so guilty for walking away from a man who loved her and didn't deserve her cold shoulder.
Owen pressed the emergency stop button of the elevator and the elevator came to a complete stop. He continued holding Amelia in his arms as she sobbed and sobbed, wetting his labcoat in the process. He didn't care. All he knew was that he had to be there for his wife, to comfort and support her. Owen just held Amelia wordlessly as her sobs gradually reduced into sniffles.
Finally, as he realized she had calmed down, he lifted her head up so their eyes met. Her watery eyes showed fear and sorrow in them.
'Feeling better now?' he asked gently.
She nodded wordlessly in reply.
' You need a moment to recollect yourself before you continue work?' he asked. 'I'll bring you to on call room where you can rest. I'll inform Kepner and my residents to page Nelson instead.'he offered.
' I'm fine. I'm going home, actually. My shift just ended. I need to change to my street clothes first.' she replied in a shaky voice.
' Do you need a lift home?' Owen asked.
Amelia nodded. ' Yes please.' she replied in a small voice.
She had followed Meredith to the hospital in the morning and she was not in the mood to wait for either of her sisters. Neither of them were finishing their shifts anytime soon and all she wanted to do was to go home.
They drove home in silence, both lost in their own thoughts. Amelia looked out of the window- trying to avoid eye contact with Owen. It had been an exhausting day, losing a patient was mentally and emotionally exhausting. Also, she just didn't have the energy left apologize to her husband and explain to him why she left. That would have to wait because all she could think of at the moment was a warm shower and her comfortable bed. The crying was therapeutic though, she was feeling surprisingly better after the good cry she had in the elevator.
As they reached a traffic light- Owen stole a glance at his wife. She looked pale and crestfallen, which broke his heart. He had no idea what caused her grief, and he really wished he could help her. If only she would open up to him and let him help.
As his eyes inadvertly travelled downwards, he thought he could see a slight buldge of her lower abdomen beneath the leather jacket she was wearing. It could be due to the fact that the jacket was bulky though- he wasn't sure.
In that instant- Owen knew what to do. As the traffic light turned green- he turned left instead of turning right to Meredith's house.
' Owen- where are you going? I said I wanted to go home.'Amelia asked alarmed.
' You are going home, Amelia. Home with me.' Owen said softly but firmly. He had enough of her running away from him. She was coming home with him, whether she liked it or not.
' But….all my belongings are in Meredith's house!' she protested weakly.
The truth was- it was just an excuse as she was afraid of going back home to face him. She did have some clothes left at her and Owen's place and they both knew it.
' I'll ask Meredith to bring your belongings over later.'Owen said matter of factly.
Amelia leaned back against the passenger car seat, defeated. She was too tired to argue with him. Besides, the prospect of a long warm shower in the privacy of her own bedroom and sleeping on her own big comfortable bed seemed so appealing at that moment.
She stared out of the car window, watching the other cars, pedestriansand shops pass by.
' Amelia' Owen demanded, as soon as they reached another traffic light' Look at me.'
She finally looked at him and their eyes met.
' Just talk to me.' he said. ' You've been running from me and avoiding me. I just want to know why. I know there's something bothering you lately- if you would just tell me exactly what it is I can help you. I can't help you if you don't let me in.'
' I lost a patient today.' Amelia said softly. ' She had cancer and she died shortly after giving birth.'
' Oh I'm so sorry Amelia.' Owen said sincerely. He knew how invested in her job Amelia was and how much she cared for her patients. Of course this would affect her deeply.
' Wanna talk about it?' he offered.
' No.'Amelia answered. ' I'm sorry Owen- I'm so tired. All I want to do now is to take a shower and go to bed.'
' Well ok then.' Owen nodded. He understood. There were times when he felt super exhausted after a shift as well. He would let her rest first. And then when she woke up refreshed, they would talk.
They continued the rest of the journey in silence until they reached their home.
As Amelia walked into her own house for the first time in 3 months- she looked around and realized that everything was just the same as it had been. Owen had not moved a single thing from its original position. It was as if she never left. As she shrugged off her jacket, she suddenly realized how much she missed home.
Owen watched his wife as she removed her jacket to reveal a tiny bump in her midsection. He could swear that it wasn't there before- but then again she had always been wearing labcoats at work lately and that covered it up. Furthermore, maybe she had put on some weight lately. He still wasn't sure.
Amelia trodded directly upstairs to their bedroom without a word, leaving Owen alone in the sitting room.
He flipped through the TV channels distractedly, unable to find a suitable TV program to watch.
After an hour or so, he realized that Amelia wasn't going to come back downstairs.
Sighing, he turned off the TV and headed upstairs to their bedroom, where he found her fast asleep, curled up under the covers of their comfortable bed.
He shook his head as he slid under the covers of his side of the bed. He had to admit he was really annoyed by her behavior, of her totally shutting herself away from him. At the same time he knew that something was really bothering her and she was afraid to talk about it. He really hoped that they would be able to talk about it the next day.
The next morning, Owen was awakened by the sound of retching coming from their bathroom.
He rushed to the bathroom to find Amelia hunched over the toilet bowl, throwing her gut contents out. Instinctively, he pulled her hair to the back and rubbed her back gently in smooth circular motions, until she had nothing left to throw up.
Amelia groaned weakly as she flushed the toilet and rinsed her mouth in the sink, certain that Owen now knew her secret.
Owen lifted her up and carried her, gently placing her on the bed.
' You ok?' he asked concerned as he made her lie down and placed the blankets over her. She nodded meekly.
' How long have you been ill?' he asked. Maybe she had caught a strong bug from a patient. He would have to call Bailey and inform her that Amelia wouldn't be coming in that morning.
' For 2 months, every morning.' she answered, hoping that he would get the hint.
Owen's eyes widened as he connected the dots. The tiny bump wasn't due to his imagination or her weight gain after all.
His first instinct was to jump for joy. This was what he wanted, a family. And now his dream was about to come true. But seeing Amelia's expression, he contained himself, knowing she didn't exactly share his sentiments. She had fear showing in her eyes.
Amelia sat upright now, feeling much better after having thrown up. She looked at Owen in the eye, knowing that now is the time to be totally open to him and to tell him every single thing. It was now or never.
'How far along are you?'he asked cautiously- trying to hide his emotions for her sake.
' 4 months.'she answered, her heart pounding.. ' 18 weeks. It must have happened not too long before I .. left. I took the test too early. I took another test a few weeks later when my period still hadn't come and it was positive.'
Owen struggled to find the exact words to say to her. Under normal circumstances, had they still been happily married- he would've sported a wide grin on his face as he hugged her joyfully. But judging from the terrified look on her face and the fact that she had just returned home after staying away from him for a few months, he knew that it wasn't the appropriate response.
' And I'm due for my next ultrasound tomorrow. Arizona is going to perform a detailed scan, and I'm scared.'she added, when Owen remained silent.
' Why are you scared?'Owen asked as he looked at her, hoping that this question would pave the way for Amelia to open up to him.
Amelia took a deep breath as she gathered the courage to finally tell Owen everything she had been hiding from him all this while.
' I'm scared that this baby would be anencephalic too.' she answered as she looked at him in the eye, waiting for his reaction.
Too. Owen heard the word loud and clear.
' You mean you had an anencephalic baby before?'he asked as he held her hands in his as a gesture of support.
She nodded, feeling the tears pool in her eyes at the mention of her unicorn baby.
' Remember I told you once long ago while we were sitting in the hospital chapel, about how my baby lived for 43 minutes? Well what I didn't tell you was that he had anencephaly.'
' I'm so sorry to hear that Amelia.' Owen whispered as he pulled her in for a comforting hug. He couldn't imagine how it must have been like for her. He knew how it was like to lose a baby- he had felt a deep sense of loss after Cristina aborted his baby, which was one of the factors leading to their divorce. However, what Amelia went through was an entirely different thing altogether. Her baby had been born alive but died shortly after.
Just that simple gesture of his was enough to bring tears to her eyes again, but she maintained her composure as she knew it was important for her to finish telling him her story now.
' He was Ryan's.' she said quietly.
He nodded. He remembered her telling him about Ryan, their drug addiction together and how she woke up one day to find Ryan lying dead beside her. It was a horrible tragedy and he felt so sorry that she had to go through that terrible loss.
' After Ryan's death- I went to rehab.' she continued.
' A few months after I returned from rehab, I discovered that I was pregnant. ' she added. ' With his baby. I was happy at first, I thought that he had left a piece of him behind with me. Then I had my first ultrasound and Addison had to crush all my hopes to the ground by informing me that the baby was anencephalic.'
Owen remained silent, rubbing soothing circles on her back, quietly urging her to continue.
' They gave me the option of terminating the pregnancy, but I chose to carry the pregnancy to term because I wanted to donate his organs. I wanted him to save the lives of many other children and make a difference in his short life.' she said, wiping away a stray tear from her cheek, feeling tears forming in her eyes again at the mention of her unicorn baby.
'That's a very noble thing to do, Amelia.' said Owen earnestly as he pulled her closer to him. He knew that not many parents, after finding out that their baby had an anomaly incompatible with life, would voluntarily carry the baby to term just to donate their baby's organs. He really respected her for this.
' And when I held him in my arms and looked at him, he was so beautiful.' she said, her voice quivering and tears pooling in her eyes again as she recalled looking at her unicorn baby as she held him in her arms. He was the most beautiful baby she had ever seen. ' So you see- like I said that day, I am already a mom.'
That statement of Amelia's hit Owen hard. He finally realized how much impact the birth and loss of her previous baby had on her. She never really got over her loss, he realized.
' I'm so sorry….' Owen whispered as he held her close to his chest, wanting to take away all her pain.
' When they had to take him away from me because he developed respiratory distress, it was like they took a part of me with him.' she admitted. 'Part of me died inside. I still think of him sometimes and wonder whether he's happy in heaven. And at other times I wonder what life would be like if he were still alive.
' I'm sorry for not realizing it earlier- that you were already a mom.' Owen admitted guiltily.
' Well to be fair- I only mentioned it in passing that day in the chapel and I never mentioned it again after that. Of course it would have slipped your mind.' said Amelia as she looked up at Owen. ' And we weren't so close yet at that time.'she added.
' So this is why you are afraid. You do not want our baby to meet the same fate.' Owen voiced out Amelia's fear.
Amelia nodded, relieved that finally Owen seemed to understand.
' Yes. Arizona mentioned during the first ultrasound that there is a less than 5% chance of recurrence in a subsequent pregnancy.' she said. ' Small but it's there. What if I'm the less than 5%?'
For a moment, Owen felt upset that he wasn't there for the first ultrasound appointment. He would've loved to see their baby. Why did she leave him out of all this?
But he knew that Amelia needed his support.
' You don't know that, Amelia. There's more than 95% chance that we'll have a healthy baby. Why don't we focus on that instead?' he asked as he gently tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear.
' I wish I share your optimism.' Amelia said, softly. ' But after what I've been through- I just can't.…' her voiced trailed off.
She shook her head, a sad expression on her face. ' I just can't go through that anymore, Owen. The pain of losing a child. I just can't hold another anencephalic baby in my arms and watch as they carry the baby away from me forever and rip another piece of my heart from me.'
' You wouldn't be going through this alone. I'll be there by your side, every step of the way this time.' said Owen firmly but gently, still not letting go of her.
Amelia looked up at him, studying his face and seeing only honesty. Sometimes she wondered what had she done to deserve such an amazing guy in her life.
' You don't get it, Owen.'she said exasperatedly. ' I know you want a family so much. But what if I can't give it to you? What if I can only bear anencephalic babies? Or babies with whatever other deformities? Would you leave me then? Tell me Owen. Would you?' she asked, scanning his face again , waiting for his reaction.
Owen knew right away that she was putting him through the ultimate test of their relationship, and he was determined to ace it.
' No.' he said firmly in a confident tone. ' I'll never leave you, Amelia, no matter what happens.'
He meant every word. He loved his wife too much to ever leave her should she bear him anencephalic babies. If only she knew how deep his love was for her.
' So you promise to stay with me through it all? Through this pregnancy and beyond? For the rest of our lives?' Amelia asked, again looking at him for confirmation.
Owen nodded affirmatively. ' I'll be with you every step of the way..' he said earnestly.
'Will you come with me to my next ultrasound appointment tomorrow then?' she invited. ' Tomorrow Arizona would be performing a detailed scan on me, and we would find out whether the baby has any abnormalities or not. I'm kind of scared.' she admitted.
' Amelia, of course I'll come. I would love to see our baby.'Owen answered, finally allowing himself to smile with joy.
Finally being reassured that Owen would indeed be with her every step of the way and would never leave her, Amelia allowed herself to lean back on his chest and relax in his arms, relishing in the comforting and safe feeling his warm embrace gave her.
She took his right hand and slowly guided it to her tiny but now visible baby bump, letting it rest there as she rested her hand on top of his.
Owen's face broke into a wide smile as he finally allowed himself to enjoy the feel of their baby- part him and part Amelia, safety nestled inside her stomach. He knew that no matter the outcome of the ultrasound the following day- he was already in love with this baby.
The couple lay quietly on the bed, Owen savoring the feel of the baby under his touch and Amelia feeling the baby moving inside her. They knew that no matter what- they would be able to face the future together.
Ok guys, this is it- any comments, reviews, and messages are very much appreciated. I would really love to hear from you and know what you think!