Three ways to murder your steak and kidney pie

A/N: Basically, it's a Hermione/Harry. I've never done one of these, well I have, sortof, but it's a very complicated story that involves Hermione, Harry, Malfoy and Seamus! But this is my first H/Hr! Plus other couples aswell!

Wish me luck. . .

DISCLAIMER: J.K Rowling owns it all.

Hermione was sitting next to Dean Thomas, who for the past two years had been her partner in Ancient Runes. But this year the class seemed slightly larger and she couldn't put her finger on why.

"Okay everybody. Since the number of people taking up Ancient Runes is at an all time low, we won't let that hold us back. But the Headmaster has come up with the fantastic idea, of forming one half of a class than to have two, quarters of a class. So we have increased our number by six. Which brings our total number in sixth year taking Ancient Runes and now in this class, to thirteen" Professor Wood (no relation to Oliver Wood) announced to her class. "For this year, I shall assign you new partners. Don't be like that" She encouraged as the class sighed, "This is a new learning curve, as each of you is very talented I would like to mix those talents. Okay Dean you're with Padma. Ernie you're with…" Professor Wood scanned her role for a student's name, "Sophie. Hermione, you're with Willow…"

Hermione waved goodbye to Dean as he gathered his books and left his place, which was shortly taken by Willow.

She was pretty; Hermione noted that she had dark brown hair that came to be around three inches below her shoulder. Her hair had several different tones to it. She was had a light, golden tan, though her face was slightly paler than the rest of her. She had dark blue eyes that glittered in the sunlight. She was around 5'5 and in Ravenclaw.

"Hi, I'm Hermione"

"I'm Willow" She smiled warmly at Hermione as she set up her books, quill and ink. Both girls then turned their attention back to their Professor.

"…finally, Draco, you can join Willow and Hermione. You'll be out trio!"

Both girls stopped short of screaming at their teacher. Together, they silently hoped that there was another Draco, who was in Hogwarts and that had platinum blonde hair, grey eyes and a trademark smirk. Sadly, they discovered there was no such thing, as Draco Malfoy stalked huffily towards their table. He dropped his books on it with a thud and pulled up a stool.

"Right, now that that's sorted, please do the revision exercises on page five so as to refresh you're memories! I'll give you fifteen minutes"

Hermione tried to focus but couldn't, not when Malfoy was to be heard muttering 'Filthy little Mudblood' savagely under his breath for the entire class.

After what felt like forever the bell rang, signalling lunch. Willow and Hermione left class together. They both ranted about how awful it was to have Malfoy as their partner. As they entered the Great Hall, Willow bade goodbye to Hermione as she departed for the Ravenclaw table. Hermione then continued on to the Gryffindor table, where she sat opposite Harry and Ron, who had just had a free period.

"Ugh!" Was all Hermione said, as she stabbed her steak and kidney pie so hard that the fork bent. She did this several times before her either of her friends spoke.

"Er, Hermione, are you okay?" Harry asked staring at the now mangled food on her plate.

"No. Why should I be?" Hermione snapped.

"Er, well, because you've just had Ancient Ruins, your favourite class, and now you're murdering your food" Ron stated awkwardly.

"Well, Ronald, I'd like to see what kind of mood you'd be in if you'd just been assigned Malfoy as your partner" She growled.

Harry blinked as there was a shattering noise and Hermione looked at Ron, he had been holding a glass and it was now, well, shattered and he was covered in pumpkin juice.

"Did the Ferret do or say anything to you Mione?" he said, his eyes focused on Malfoy, who was sitting at the Slytherin table.

"No" Hermione decided that telling him she'd been repeatedly called a Mudblood throughout the class would not calm Ron down, and that's definitely what he needed to be, "But it's not so bad, at least I have Willow to restrain me form murdering him"

"Who's Willow?" Harry asked.

"She's in our year, in Ravenclaw, she's really nice"

After ten minutes Hermione decided she couldn't eat as she was so annoyed about the whole Malfoy fiasco, so she got up and left for the library.

- - -

At dinner Hermione was subdued, they'd just had a double Potions and then History of Magic. She took some steak and kidney pie, as she'd had none for lunch. Looking up she saw Ginny and waved. Then she caught a glimpse of Malfoy, he was, unsurprisingly impersonating Hermione, when she had fallen off her bench in Potions, thanks to Ron.

"Mione, sorry about what happened in Potions" Ron said, after a nudge from Harry.

"It's okay Ron. I overreacted; I was still fuming over the whole Malfoy thing"

They continued eating in silence until Hermione noticed Malfoy impersonating her . . . again. She then channelled all her energy into cutting up her steak and kidney pie. She would've continued if for the fact that Harry had pointed out it was now puréed steak and kidney pie. Sighing, she took another slice.

"So, I think I'm gonna ask Luna to go to out with me" Ron announced. Hermione shrieked and accidentally flung the plate of steak and kidney pie at the wall, a loud SPLAT, could be heard. Harry had choked on his pumpkin juice. Gasping for air he managed to reply.

"WHAT? You…Luna…out?"

Ron looked bewildered.

"I've been planning it for ages now. Did I not mention it before?"

"No!" Hermione cried.

"Well, why are you two reacting like this? I mean Luna's great!"

"Yeah, she is, but you two are well, opposites" Hermine pointed out.

"Actually, they're not. I mean, well, you're both funny, and, Er…you're funny…you like to laugh, she gets, uh, laughed at, and…um…well, you both have, eh, owls" Harry finished lamely.

Hermione giggled at his attempt of showing that Ron and Luna, are well, not opposites.

"If you two don't support me then, be that way, she's something special and I will not have you mess it up" Ron got up and left the Great Hall. His movements were followed by an open mouthed Hermione and a wide-eyed Harry.

"I, think we should leave him simmer. We don't want him to blow up at us" Hermione pointed out as Harry had made to follow his best friend. He nodded and sank back onto the bench.

"How much homework have you gotten so far today?" Hermione inquired as she resigned herself to the fact that she would never again eat steak and kidney pie, so instead, had some mushroom soup and brown bread.

"Tonnes, Snapes five foot essay on Dragon blood is just ridiculous. Then the six chapters Binns set us for tomorrow and I still didn't get around to doing my Transfiguration"

Hermione nodded in agreement.

"How about you?" Harry asked.

"The same except for Ancient Runes, we, as in myself, Willow and Ferret, have to do our homework for Friday together, its part of being partners. So, if I don't return from the library tomorrow night, you know who to blame" Hermione said in a false mysterious voice.

Harry smiled at her attempt at humour given the current mood she was in.

"I'll be sure, to go after him, if anything happens" His tone was light and full of mirth, but his emerald eyes were deadly serious.

"Harry, I was joking-"

"I wasn't" A few minutes of silence passed as Hermione finished her soup, Harry watched her.

"Come on, let's go" Hermione said once she'd scraped her bowl clean with her spoon. She swung her bag over her shoulder and headed towards the doors, Harry followed suit. Ten minutes later, Hermione was sitting in one of the squashy armchairs infront of the fire, Harry was opposite her and they were doing their Potions homework. Hermione of course was helping Harry. She liked aiding Harry better than Ron. Harry at least attempted his work, by looking stuff up checking spellings but, he muddled up a few facts, overall though he was the better out of the two boys at doing homework.

Suddenly, disturbing their comfortable peace was a bewitched Frisbee. It whacked Hermione on the top of her head and then zoomed around and around Harrys until he felt like getting sick he shut his eyes, then the Frisbee disappeared and Harry heard a familiar voice.

"Sorry Harry, Hermione, I must of overdone the spell"

"It's okay Colin"

Harry finally managed to open his eyes after five minutes. The Common room was empty. He stood up but fell back down again, unable to keep his balance. Harry looked around the room, his eyes landed on Hermione, who had lapsed into a fit of giggles following Harrys dizziness.

"Think that's funny? Huh? Do ya? Do ya?" He had managed to stand, and stay standing and go over to Hermione he began poking her arm and stomach with each question.

"OW! You poked me!" Hermione looked from her arm, to Harry, who, despite everything with Voldemort, was laughing and smiling, Hermione hadn't seen him like this in ages, since before Voldemort returned and she'd missed him being this way. Plus, she was not about to be beaten in a poking match, she couldn't live with herself if she was!

And so began the most entertaining poking match Gryffindor had ever seen. Ten minutes later it was still going, Hermione, wouldn't back down, neither wanted to lose. Harry, in a last ditch attempt, wrapped his arms around his best friend and swung her onto the fluffy rug on the floor. What he hadn't realised was that she had anticipated this and had not let go of him. So now the, Gryffindor Quidditch captain and Prefect were lying side by side on the rug, laughing so much that tears were streaming down their faces.

"That, was so funny…your face!" Hermione gasped amidst her laughing.

"Yeah, you should've seen yours when I first thew you onto this rug, you were like 'Merlin!'" Harry opened his mouth to say more but couldn't as Hermione had pulled a stupid face and he had another fit of laughter.

"Come on, its late, we should be in bed" She said, sobering up a bit.

Hermione slowly, pulled herself up, still grinning, her eyes shining. Then she offered a hand to Harry. He took it and tugged her hand as though he would pull her down again, but instead let her pull him up.

Hermione stuffed her books in her bag and headed towards the girls staircase. Harry had been doing the same, his bag was on his shoulder, but he ran over and poked Hermione, saying, "POKE!", as he did so. He then ran back to his staircase and ran up it, when he reached the top he stuck out his tongue and then entered his dormitory.

Hermione laughed to herself at his childlessness and then entered her dormitory and fell onto her bed, fully clothed, a smile on her face as she drifted into to sleep.

A/N: Please just let me know what you think. Are any of them a bit out of character? I tried to just, redo their sixth year! Snape is Potions teacher, and they've a new DADA teacher we'll meet soon. Tell me if it's a rotten story and you think should delete it, I'd just like feedback. Reviews make the rain seem a little less depressing you know! By the way, sorry its so short! The chapters will lengthen its just at the start, you wan to just test the waters a bit!

Love, FireboltPheonix.

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