Vegeta the Hobo
(795 AD)
by Lady Kav and Sandy Winner
Our story takes place right after Dragonball GT. We'd like to use this space to tie up some loose ends. For example: Where does the Shenlon take Goku to? What happened to Piccolo? Did he end up in hell? What are Yamcha, Tien, and Chaozu up to? Do Bulma and Vegeta really end up happily ever after? Who do Goten and Marron marry? Whatever happened to the Great Saiyaman? All this and more in Vegeta the Hobo. You don't need to know much about DBZ and DBGT to enjoy this story.
Kisamaa-amaaa*
Briefs, Meet the Briefs
They're a modern Saiya-jin - human family.
From the Capsule Corps,
Mirai Trunks has the ability to change history.
Let's fly with the family down the streets
To the courtesy of friends Vegeta beats ( i.e. Kakarotto)
When your with the Briefs
Have a Kisamaa-amaa time
A Kisamaa-amaa time
We'll have a super saiya-jin time
*It means You(vulgar) Bitch. It's just a catch phrase Vegeta would say if he was Fred Flintstone.
Part 1: No Need for Monkeys!
One week after the end of GT.......
The distinguished President of Capsule Corp. sat on a bench at Satan City Zoo, feeding popcorn to squirrels. He had a Vegeta-like smirk on his face. He had tricked his mom into believing that the real reason that he was at the zoo, instead of working at Capsule Corp, was because he was trying to study the similarities between monkeys and oozarus for his new research project. Once again he had come up with a good excuse not to be cooped up in that dreadful corporation.
In the bushes behind him he heard a rustling noise. In fact, the whole day he had this eerie feeling that someone or something sinister (this is the DB world after all) was following him. His attention moved to the bunch of girls who were waving and swooning over him. His face turned red. Trunks was really shy around girls and he hated it when girls paid attention to him. He decided it was time to move on and check out the monkeys.
The monkeys were really funny. They were swinging around, eating bananas, scratching their backs, and were chattering to one another. In one of the far cages he heard a monkey singing a song, "10 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Chi-Chi called the dragon and the dragon said I can't revive monkeys once their dead."
"Wow!" Trunks thought to himself, "That monkey must be at least as smart as King Kai's monkey Bubbles!" Trunks was really intrigued so he decided to get a closer look at the singing monkey. To his horror he discovered that the monkey was......
Goku! He looked really happy, swinging from branch to branch, eating bananas. Out of nowhere, from the bushes, Pan somersaulted and landed next to Trunks. She yelled, "Grandpa Goku!"
"Pan! Have you been following me again?! No! Pan stop! Don't bend the bars and let Goku escape. I'm sure I can talk to the zoo keeper and convince him that Goku is not really a monkey." Goku was oblivious to what was going on and Pan struggled to drag Goku away from the tire swing. All of a sudden the fifth squadron of the canine division surrounded the cage. In a flash Pan grabbed Goku and flew away. Trunks, however, was not so lucky. The zoo officials arrested him for abducting monkeys for improper personal use and he was locked up in Satan City Prison.
Seven days and three hours later.......
Trunks was all alone, sitting in a dirty dim cell, "This is worse than being beaten up in the gravity room by Father," he thought to himself. No one had come to bail him out. He thought about breaking out, but since he was the president of Capsule Corp. everyone knew where he lived.
Suddenly, he heard a familiar voice that sounded like a goat: It was his best friend Goten. Goten rushed over to Trunks and exclaimed, "Pan told me what happened to you as soon as she brought Dad home."
Trunks gave Goten a dirty look and yelled, "Shimatta! What took you so long? I've been here for seven days. Rotting away in this cell for so long, I have probably become as ugly as Vegeta."
"Well, you do smell bad. Hey don't give me the finger. I had a date with Paris that evening, you know I think I might marry this girl. Anyway, I kind of forgot. You know I'm not the smartest man in the world."
"That's an understatement."
"Hey, I got here as soon as I remembered! And what about you? What are you doing playing around with monkeys? I thought squirrels were your thing."
"Kisama Goten!"
"Cut the swearing. Like my father says it's bad Karma. Anyway, I'm the only person who came to bail you out. I guess you're in the situation you're in cause you have a dysfunctional family."
Trunks sighed. It was no use arguing with Goten because he was too stupid to understand. At least he was free to go home. He smiled and suddenly he frowned because sitting in jail was probably better than going home to Capsule Corp.
One hour later at Capsule Corp.....
Trunks walked in and slammed the door. "So where have you been, boy?" Vegeta sneered.
"I don't want to talk about it."
"You are a pathetic weakling. You are the son of the Prince of Saiya-jins and you let yourself get arrested at the zoo. And what the hell are you doing hanging around monkeys? Are you some weirdo?"
"You knew all along that I was in prison and you didn't come to bail me out?"
"Are you surprised?"
"No, not really. But how come mom didn't come?"
"That foolish onna probably would have, but she's been so busy running Capsule Corp., since you never do it, that she didn't know you were in jail."
Trunks then proceeded to relate the entire story to Vegeta. "It's all that brat Pan's fault. I wish she wouldn't act impulsively all the time. First she took Goten's place on the Grand Tour, then she hid the keys of spaceship, then she dressed me up like a woman, she's constantly trying to kiss me, and now she gets me arrested. She's so annoying, worse than Bra."
"What? You rescued that third class Saiya-jin from the zoo? Kisama! Without him around I would have been the most powerful Saiya-jin in the universe! Unbelievable, how did Kakarotto end up in the zoo, I thought he was with Shenlon?"
Trunks shrugged his shoulders. Vegeta was seething in anger. "First you don't train, then you freed my enemy Kakarotto, and finally you embarrass me by getting arrested when you could have kicked the policeman's assess. I have no son. Mirai Trunks is my true son!" Vegeta was so angry that he turned into a Super Saiya-jin.
"I'm going to send you to HFIL!" Vegeta then began gathering energy for his Big Bang Attack. Trunks began sweating believing that this would be the end of him. At least he wouldn't have to work at Capsule Corp. anymore and Pan wouldn't be able to follow him into HFIL.
Out of nowhere, Bulma rushed on to the scene and slapped Vegeta. Stunned he returned to normal. "How dare you try to kill my son for the fourth time? This is the last straw. I'm going to do something I should have done thirty years ago. I'm going to throw you out of Capsule Corp. Get out Vegeta! I can't believe I married an arrogant, conceited, condescending, bad-tempered, geeky-faced third-class alien like you. Go to HFIL!"
"Maybe I will! Shimatta!" Bulma pushed Vegeta outside and slammed the door on his face.
"Finally, I am free from that onna's grasp." A worried look appeared on his face. What was he going to do now that he had no home, and most importantly no gravity machine? He really had no place to go because he had either beaten up or killed all the people he knew at one time or another. In fact Bulma and Bra were the only people who liked him. His stomach growled. "Kisama-amaa!"
Will Vegeta actually leave Bulma and his children? Will Vegeta actually go and stay at his arch-nemisis' house? Stay tuned for scenes from the next chapter of Vegeta the Hobo.
In the next installment of Vegeta the Hobo, Vegeta goes to stay at his arch-nemisis' house in Part 2: No Need for Bulma and her Blasted Brats!
Part 1 was brought to you by Funimation Inc.: Bringing you the best in Japanimation. And now a word from our sponsors..........
Announcer: Funimation along with Cartoon Network is proud to announce the dubbed AKA improved release of season four of Dragonball Z. Starting on September Fourth Cartoon Network will air seventy new, previously undubbed, episodes of DBZ!!!!!!
If you thought the Namek and Frieza Sagas were unbelievable just wait till you see what we've done to Trunks. We at Funimation have a long standing tradition of bringing you quality anime. We've "improved" the original Japanese scripts and music, making it suitable and funny for American audiences.
No need for "Head-Chala" when we've got "Rock the Dragon." We've even changed the original Japanese music and come up with catchy repetitive music so you the viewers will be able to remember our cool music easily.
Our scripts for season two and three were hilarious, much more funny than in the original Japanese. Who could forget these classic quotes:
Krillin-
"If I had special Powers I'd have a head full of hair!"
"Krillin's in da Hooousse"
"It's time like this I wish I had become a shoe salesman..."
We really made Krillin one radical dude with lines like these "Mondo Cool!" and "Hey, bro!"
Gohan-
"You smell like Toenails!"
"In this new suit I kinda feel indestructible! Super Gohan!"
"Good ol' Namek, where balls are born!"
Dende-
"Go green!"
"Don't piss off the god of love!"
Vegeta-
"Excuse me, Mr. Hot Pants." Vegeta to Gohan in his new blue threads
"This will be easier than coloring inside the lines!"
"Holy Cosmos! Look at the size of that lizard!"
"I'll blast you to the next dimension!"
Frieza-
Frieza: "You dirty Dog!"
Super Saiya-jin Goku: "Takes one to know one!"
Goku: "I'll have a sports soda instead, it's much better for me and it tastes great!"
Frieza: "Whatever turns you on big boy..."
"Maybe you can use your arm as a back scratcher! HAHAHAH! A back scratcher! Where do I come up with this stuff!"
And give it up for the comedic stylings of the Ginyu Force:
Jeice: "Sometimes you gotta know when to go, go, GO!"
Ginyu: "I better learn to power up this body or I'm done like dinner"
Ginyu: "I hope your both wearing clean underwear cuz the CAPTAIN'S COMING TO GET YOOOUUU!"
Burter to Recoome "If you don't finish them in the next five minutes no TV for a week!"
Burter to Jeice: "Are you okay? Is it bleeding? Be careful or you might stain you gloves!"
Ginyu: "I hope your both wearing clean underwear. Because your taking a trip to the emergency ward!"
Recoome: "My name is Recoome I rhyme with doom and you'll be dead soon"
If you thought our scripts were unbelievable Vegeta-style we guarantee you'll be exploding when you see the fourth season.
And now a word from our voice director Chris Sabat....
Chris Sabat: "In the third and fourth season with our high revenues we've hired some of the most talented voice actors to play the characters under my direction. Take a look for yourself."
Vegeta: Chris Sabat
Piccolo: Chris Sabat
Gohan: Chris Sabat
Sushi Zedaki: Chris Sabat (Funimation original name for Yamcha)
Miss Piggy: Chris Sabat (Funimation original name for Oolong)
Curious George: Chris Sabat (Funimation original name for Goku)
Bulma: Chris Sabat
Xena Warrior Princess: Chris Sabat (Funimation original name for Chi-Chi)
Baldy the Monk: Chris Sabat (Funimation original name for Krillin)
Chaozu: Chris Sabat
Dende: Chris Sabat
Mr. Clean: Chris Sabat (Funimation original name for Tien)
Master Roshi: Chris Sabat
Tighty-Whities Briefs: Chris Sabat (Funimation original name for Trunks)
Frieza: Chris Sabat
Ginyu Force: Chris Sabat
Jesse "the Body" Ventura (Funimation original name for Mr. Sata...oops we mean Mr. Savage)
Whiskers the Wonder Cat: Chris Sabat (Funimation original name for Corrin)
Chris Sabat: Chris Sabat (Funimation original name for Yajirobe)
Chris Sabat: "With such a great cast who could resist watching DBZ dubbed?"
Announcer: So what are we going to do with all the money we've been making selling edited and uncut versions of season four to those crazy DBZ fanatics?
Are we going to hire better script writers?.....NO
Are we going to get better music?......NO
Are we going to dub DBGT?......NO
Are we going to show at least 80% of each episode?......NO
Are we going to hire better voice actors?......NO
We are going to hire FREDDIE PRINCE JR. and SARAH MICHELLE GELLER to play teenage Gohan and Videl Savage. Here's a preview of DBZ season five Funimationized:
Gohan: Because Angela dumped me before the prom, Sharpener dared me to go out on a date with that weakling Videl Savage. Ever since she's been hanging around the Great Saiyaman, she's become the strongest and most popular girl at Orange Star. Now She's All That!
Videl: Now that I have Gohan wrapped around my little finger, I'm going to make him break that sweet, innocent girl Ireeza's heart. I truly have Cruel Intentions.
Be on the lookout for New DBZ Funimation episodes and remember to "Rock the Dragon, Dragonball Z!"
(795 AD)
by Lady Kav and Sandy Winner
Our story takes place right after Dragonball GT. We'd like to use this space to tie up some loose ends. For example: Where does the Shenlon take Goku to? What happened to Piccolo? Did he end up in hell? What are Yamcha, Tien, and Chaozu up to? Do Bulma and Vegeta really end up happily ever after? Who do Goten and Marron marry? Whatever happened to the Great Saiyaman? All this and more in Vegeta the Hobo. You don't need to know much about DBZ and DBGT to enjoy this story.
Kisamaa-amaaa*
Briefs, Meet the Briefs
They're a modern Saiya-jin - human family.
From the Capsule Corps,
Mirai Trunks has the ability to change history.
Let's fly with the family down the streets
To the courtesy of friends Vegeta beats ( i.e. Kakarotto)
When your with the Briefs
Have a Kisamaa-amaa time
A Kisamaa-amaa time
We'll have a super saiya-jin time
*It means You(vulgar) Bitch. It's just a catch phrase Vegeta would say if he was Fred Flintstone.
Part 1: No Need for Monkeys!
One week after the end of GT.......
The distinguished President of Capsule Corp. sat on a bench at Satan City Zoo, feeding popcorn to squirrels. He had a Vegeta-like smirk on his face. He had tricked his mom into believing that the real reason that he was at the zoo, instead of working at Capsule Corp, was because he was trying to study the similarities between monkeys and oozarus for his new research project. Once again he had come up with a good excuse not to be cooped up in that dreadful corporation.
In the bushes behind him he heard a rustling noise. In fact, the whole day he had this eerie feeling that someone or something sinister (this is the DB world after all) was following him. His attention moved to the bunch of girls who were waving and swooning over him. His face turned red. Trunks was really shy around girls and he hated it when girls paid attention to him. He decided it was time to move on and check out the monkeys.
The monkeys were really funny. They were swinging around, eating bananas, scratching their backs, and were chattering to one another. In one of the far cages he heard a monkey singing a song, "10 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Chi-Chi called the dragon and the dragon said I can't revive monkeys once their dead."
"Wow!" Trunks thought to himself, "That monkey must be at least as smart as King Kai's monkey Bubbles!" Trunks was really intrigued so he decided to get a closer look at the singing monkey. To his horror he discovered that the monkey was......
Goku! He looked really happy, swinging from branch to branch, eating bananas. Out of nowhere, from the bushes, Pan somersaulted and landed next to Trunks. She yelled, "Grandpa Goku!"
"Pan! Have you been following me again?! No! Pan stop! Don't bend the bars and let Goku escape. I'm sure I can talk to the zoo keeper and convince him that Goku is not really a monkey." Goku was oblivious to what was going on and Pan struggled to drag Goku away from the tire swing. All of a sudden the fifth squadron of the canine division surrounded the cage. In a flash Pan grabbed Goku and flew away. Trunks, however, was not so lucky. The zoo officials arrested him for abducting monkeys for improper personal use and he was locked up in Satan City Prison.
Seven days and three hours later.......
Trunks was all alone, sitting in a dirty dim cell, "This is worse than being beaten up in the gravity room by Father," he thought to himself. No one had come to bail him out. He thought about breaking out, but since he was the president of Capsule Corp. everyone knew where he lived.
Suddenly, he heard a familiar voice that sounded like a goat: It was his best friend Goten. Goten rushed over to Trunks and exclaimed, "Pan told me what happened to you as soon as she brought Dad home."
Trunks gave Goten a dirty look and yelled, "Shimatta! What took you so long? I've been here for seven days. Rotting away in this cell for so long, I have probably become as ugly as Vegeta."
"Well, you do smell bad. Hey don't give me the finger. I had a date with Paris that evening, you know I think I might marry this girl. Anyway, I kind of forgot. You know I'm not the smartest man in the world."
"That's an understatement."
"Hey, I got here as soon as I remembered! And what about you? What are you doing playing around with monkeys? I thought squirrels were your thing."
"Kisama Goten!"
"Cut the swearing. Like my father says it's bad Karma. Anyway, I'm the only person who came to bail you out. I guess you're in the situation you're in cause you have a dysfunctional family."
Trunks sighed. It was no use arguing with Goten because he was too stupid to understand. At least he was free to go home. He smiled and suddenly he frowned because sitting in jail was probably better than going home to Capsule Corp.
One hour later at Capsule Corp.....
Trunks walked in and slammed the door. "So where have you been, boy?" Vegeta sneered.
"I don't want to talk about it."
"You are a pathetic weakling. You are the son of the Prince of Saiya-jins and you let yourself get arrested at the zoo. And what the hell are you doing hanging around monkeys? Are you some weirdo?"
"You knew all along that I was in prison and you didn't come to bail me out?"
"Are you surprised?"
"No, not really. But how come mom didn't come?"
"That foolish onna probably would have, but she's been so busy running Capsule Corp., since you never do it, that she didn't know you were in jail."
Trunks then proceeded to relate the entire story to Vegeta. "It's all that brat Pan's fault. I wish she wouldn't act impulsively all the time. First she took Goten's place on the Grand Tour, then she hid the keys of spaceship, then she dressed me up like a woman, she's constantly trying to kiss me, and now she gets me arrested. She's so annoying, worse than Bra."
"What? You rescued that third class Saiya-jin from the zoo? Kisama! Without him around I would have been the most powerful Saiya-jin in the universe! Unbelievable, how did Kakarotto end up in the zoo, I thought he was with Shenlon?"
Trunks shrugged his shoulders. Vegeta was seething in anger. "First you don't train, then you freed my enemy Kakarotto, and finally you embarrass me by getting arrested when you could have kicked the policeman's assess. I have no son. Mirai Trunks is my true son!" Vegeta was so angry that he turned into a Super Saiya-jin.
"I'm going to send you to HFIL!" Vegeta then began gathering energy for his Big Bang Attack. Trunks began sweating believing that this would be the end of him. At least he wouldn't have to work at Capsule Corp. anymore and Pan wouldn't be able to follow him into HFIL.
Out of nowhere, Bulma rushed on to the scene and slapped Vegeta. Stunned he returned to normal. "How dare you try to kill my son for the fourth time? This is the last straw. I'm going to do something I should have done thirty years ago. I'm going to throw you out of Capsule Corp. Get out Vegeta! I can't believe I married an arrogant, conceited, condescending, bad-tempered, geeky-faced third-class alien like you. Go to HFIL!"
"Maybe I will! Shimatta!" Bulma pushed Vegeta outside and slammed the door on his face.
"Finally, I am free from that onna's grasp." A worried look appeared on his face. What was he going to do now that he had no home, and most importantly no gravity machine? He really had no place to go because he had either beaten up or killed all the people he knew at one time or another. In fact Bulma and Bra were the only people who liked him. His stomach growled. "Kisama-amaa!"
Will Vegeta actually leave Bulma and his children? Will Vegeta actually go and stay at his arch-nemisis' house? Stay tuned for scenes from the next chapter of Vegeta the Hobo.
In the next installment of Vegeta the Hobo, Vegeta goes to stay at his arch-nemisis' house in Part 2: No Need for Bulma and her Blasted Brats!
Part 1 was brought to you by Funimation Inc.: Bringing you the best in Japanimation. And now a word from our sponsors..........
Announcer: Funimation along with Cartoon Network is proud to announce the dubbed AKA improved release of season four of Dragonball Z. Starting on September Fourth Cartoon Network will air seventy new, previously undubbed, episodes of DBZ!!!!!!
If you thought the Namek and Frieza Sagas were unbelievable just wait till you see what we've done to Trunks. We at Funimation have a long standing tradition of bringing you quality anime. We've "improved" the original Japanese scripts and music, making it suitable and funny for American audiences.
No need for "Head-Chala" when we've got "Rock the Dragon." We've even changed the original Japanese music and come up with catchy repetitive music so you the viewers will be able to remember our cool music easily.
Our scripts for season two and three were hilarious, much more funny than in the original Japanese. Who could forget these classic quotes:
Krillin-
"If I had special Powers I'd have a head full of hair!"
"Krillin's in da Hooousse"
"It's time like this I wish I had become a shoe salesman..."
We really made Krillin one radical dude with lines like these "Mondo Cool!" and "Hey, bro!"
Gohan-
"You smell like Toenails!"
"In this new suit I kinda feel indestructible! Super Gohan!"
"Good ol' Namek, where balls are born!"
Dende-
"Go green!"
"Don't piss off the god of love!"
Vegeta-
"Excuse me, Mr. Hot Pants." Vegeta to Gohan in his new blue threads
"This will be easier than coloring inside the lines!"
"Holy Cosmos! Look at the size of that lizard!"
"I'll blast you to the next dimension!"
Frieza-
Frieza: "You dirty Dog!"
Super Saiya-jin Goku: "Takes one to know one!"
Goku: "I'll have a sports soda instead, it's much better for me and it tastes great!"
Frieza: "Whatever turns you on big boy..."
"Maybe you can use your arm as a back scratcher! HAHAHAH! A back scratcher! Where do I come up with this stuff!"
And give it up for the comedic stylings of the Ginyu Force:
Jeice: "Sometimes you gotta know when to go, go, GO!"
Ginyu: "I better learn to power up this body or I'm done like dinner"
Ginyu: "I hope your both wearing clean underwear cuz the CAPTAIN'S COMING TO GET YOOOUUU!"
Burter to Recoome "If you don't finish them in the next five minutes no TV for a week!"
Burter to Jeice: "Are you okay? Is it bleeding? Be careful or you might stain you gloves!"
Ginyu: "I hope your both wearing clean underwear. Because your taking a trip to the emergency ward!"
Recoome: "My name is Recoome I rhyme with doom and you'll be dead soon"
If you thought our scripts were unbelievable Vegeta-style we guarantee you'll be exploding when you see the fourth season.
And now a word from our voice director Chris Sabat....
Chris Sabat: "In the third and fourth season with our high revenues we've hired some of the most talented voice actors to play the characters under my direction. Take a look for yourself."
Vegeta: Chris Sabat
Piccolo: Chris Sabat
Gohan: Chris Sabat
Sushi Zedaki: Chris Sabat (Funimation original name for Yamcha)
Miss Piggy: Chris Sabat (Funimation original name for Oolong)
Curious George: Chris Sabat (Funimation original name for Goku)
Bulma: Chris Sabat
Xena Warrior Princess: Chris Sabat (Funimation original name for Chi-Chi)
Baldy the Monk: Chris Sabat (Funimation original name for Krillin)
Chaozu: Chris Sabat
Dende: Chris Sabat
Mr. Clean: Chris Sabat (Funimation original name for Tien)
Master Roshi: Chris Sabat
Tighty-Whities Briefs: Chris Sabat (Funimation original name for Trunks)
Frieza: Chris Sabat
Ginyu Force: Chris Sabat
Jesse "the Body" Ventura (Funimation original name for Mr. Sata...oops we mean Mr. Savage)
Whiskers the Wonder Cat: Chris Sabat (Funimation original name for Corrin)
Chris Sabat: Chris Sabat (Funimation original name for Yajirobe)
Chris Sabat: "With such a great cast who could resist watching DBZ dubbed?"
Announcer: So what are we going to do with all the money we've been making selling edited and uncut versions of season four to those crazy DBZ fanatics?
Are we going to hire better script writers?.....NO
Are we going to get better music?......NO
Are we going to dub DBGT?......NO
Are we going to show at least 80% of each episode?......NO
Are we going to hire better voice actors?......NO
We are going to hire FREDDIE PRINCE JR. and SARAH MICHELLE GELLER to play teenage Gohan and Videl Savage. Here's a preview of DBZ season five Funimationized:
Gohan: Because Angela dumped me before the prom, Sharpener dared me to go out on a date with that weakling Videl Savage. Ever since she's been hanging around the Great Saiyaman, she's become the strongest and most popular girl at Orange Star. Now She's All That!
Videl: Now that I have Gohan wrapped around my little finger, I'm going to make him break that sweet, innocent girl Ireeza's heart. I truly have Cruel Intentions.
Be on the lookout for New DBZ Funimation episodes and remember to "Rock the Dragon, Dragonball Z!"