.dying.
Some people believe the would will end in fire, others in ice. Mine ended with fire and while my bother was reborn in ice, I remained in the ashes.
*****
It was snowing outside, the white flakes flurrying and stealing my attention away from the candle that I held between my fingers. Upon seeing my hand start to falter, instinctively, my brother called to me.
"Yuki." Toshiro's voice came to my ears in a harsh whisper. "Pay attention so you don't get burned."
My hands tightened on the candle holder as we continued down the hallway. In the dim light, our white hair turned to a golden yellow and our blue eyes turned to a sultry green.
"You did hear something too, didn't you?" he questioned in front of me not bothering to turn around. I nodded and he mumbled, "thought so."
We went all the way to the end of the hallway and stood in front of our parents room. They were both sound asleep. I looked down at my fire as Toshiro looked around in the other rooms. The flame flickered and its light emitted on the walls surrounding us.
"Maybe," I mumbled, "we should just go back to bed. It was probably just our imagination." I pulled the candle closer to me as he looked at me. It was cold and I was scared. This was written on my expression and with one look, his face went from the usual frustration he held with me, to the understanding older brother he was.
"Okay. Lets go back to bed." he smiled lightly and lead the way back down the hallway. When we passed the opening to the other part of the house he stopped and shown his candle light in the direction. My eyes instinctively closed until I heard his small footsteps start back up on the wood flooring. We went into our room and sat on our beds slowly. In between our mats there was a place to set our candles so they would not start a fire. We were always supposed to blow them out and usually Toshiro would wake up in the middle of the night and set them both out.
We laid in the beds facing each other. It was almost like looking at a reflection. People always asked if we were twins because we were so similar. Practically the only difference was the length of our hair and our weight. Mine was longer and he was somewhat heavier. Other than that however, we had the same eyes, were the same height, and got the same grades. We liked the same things and hardly never fought. But he was braver than me as well.
"It was probably just a mouse." he smiled to me, reading off my expression that I was still worried.
"Yeah." I agreed and closed my eyes. I just wanted to go to sleep and not hear anymore sounds. This little midnight stroll had been occurring a lot lately. And the fact he heard the sounds as well wasn't too reassuring.
"Everything will be fine." he yawned and shifted on his mat.
I remember dreaming of fire. A bright hot red fire that engulfed everything around me. It swallowed my parents and Toshiro. The snow which whipped around me tried to banish it, but melted against its heat. In the end, I was alone and my hands shook in fear and the fire jetted toward me.
I flew up, my eyes wide and my breath panting. My chest heaved and my heart's beat was quickened. I placed my hand to my head and wiped the sweat from my brow. My hands were still shaking. I looked over to Toshiro and found him still sleeping soundly. I couldn't have been asleep for long, because the candles were still lit. As I went to blow them out a loud thud came from the opposite side of the room.
My legs kicked and pushed me too the wall. My hair fell in front of my face and my heart beat flared again. I looked over to the candles, the only source of light. Then the sound came again, this time there was no where to go. A cold draft emitted from the window and chilled my spine as I realized whatever was making the noise was outside of our door, trying to get inside.
Be brave. I told myself and pushed myself up. Taking slow uneasy steps I got my candle and headed to the door. When ever the sound would come I would freeze and wait, count to five and continue. It seemed to take forever to get to the door, but once there I was terrified to open it. What if there was a monster outside, what if it hurt me. What if it had hurt mom and dad. I looked back to Toshiro and swallowed the dryness in my throat. I was fine.
My free hand touched the door knob and slowly twisted. It unlatched and squeaked open. I pushed the candle light out and stuttered a hello. There was nothing at first, then it came out of the darkness. It was a black mass with a mask and hole in its chest. It's mouth hung open as it came quickly, it was aiming for my arm. Instinctively, with great speed my hand released the candle and I pulled my arm in, slamming the door after it.
What ever it was, slammed into the door three more time, then started to screech. The sound was terrifying, then it went away. My tired body rested on the ground and stared out the window on the opposing wall. The white snow made it impossible to see anything and soon, I had enough strength to crawl back to my bed. My glaze rested on Toshiro, his body resting soundly. I smiled, glad I didn't wake him, then I blew out the candle and went sleep.
*****
"Yuki!" I heard a voice shout to me. "Yuki! Wake up please!" another ruff shake. My body was hot and my eyes opened ever so slowly. Toshiro's face met my eyes and his terrified expression woke me up. I looked around us, fire covered the doorway and my body froze. "Yuki!" he called to me again and I looked at him, my breathing catching and stuttering. "Yuki, did you put your candle outside the door?" he asked.
"I-I-I…"
"Spit it out!"
"There was something out there, it tired to eat my arm." I cried, the tears starting to flow down my face. "I thought the candle went out."
"Why didn't you wake me?" he shouted.
"I-I didn't want to, you were sleeping. I-I-I didn't need to." I wiped my eyes halfheartedly.
He took a breath then looked at the fire and pulled me close. We were in the middle of the room and the heat was building.
"Don't cry." he mumbled. "I'm sorry I yelled." his fingers touched my back and I could feel their roughness. I looked at the window. "It's jammed…we're stuck."
I wanted to stop crying, but I couldn't. My head fell into his shoulder and my babbling started back up. I said things that didn't matter anymore, how the monster looked and how it tried to eat me. How I was trying to be brave…
And how sorry I was.
Somehow, he chuckled and smiled. "It's fine. We all have to die I suppose." I looked up at his face and then back down and waited as the flames engulfed us, just like in my dreams.
And that's how we died.
I was reborn in the soul society. Alone. No family, no friends. I was a new outcast. Young and afraid. For awhile, I didn't have a home. I slept on the streets until a family passed me and ask if I was waiting for someone. They became my family, and even though I looked nothing like them with my white hair and turquoise eyes, they accepted me anyways. Quickly I found that I had to be open and friendly due to my awkward appearance. And at nights, I would wonder about Toshiro. I wondered if he was here, somewhere, and if he was thinking about me like I was thinking about him.