Tonight, Rose told herself, would be the last night they did this. No more danger-induced casual sex. Doesn't matter how good it had gotten. No more.
The trouble was she'd been saying that for the past few weeks.
He turned up in her room in the middle of the night, slightly unsure of why. Nothing had happened, things were quiet. Peaceful.
Having slipped quietly into the room he was now wondering if he should just leave as quietly.
"'f you're gettin' in, c'mon," he heard her sleepy voice mutter.
In shock and surprise he couldn't quite work out if that was the invitation he'd been hoping for. He crossed to the bed and saw she'd already moved over to make room for him.
Was she expecting sex? She was half asleep. In a moment of panic he wondered if she was accommodating a need she thought he had. Had she done that all along? Slept with him because she thought it was what he wanted?
It was, but that wasn't the point.
"In," she said.
Obeying, he climbed into the bed and lay on his back, straight and stiff, hands on his stomach.
Her move, he thought.
Her move was to roll over next to him, nudging his shoulder gently. On instinct he lifted his arm.
Within minutes she was draped across his chest, fast asleep. He wasn't far behind.
"Can I ask you something?" she said over breakfast the next morning.
"Sure," he replied.
"Last night I... well... I was wondering about something."
Hope and fear leapt into The Doctor's throat at the same time. The end result was that he couldn't breathe and had to stop himself from passing out.
"I don't know if I was hearing things or if you..." she continued.
Hope and fear stopped their squabbling.
"What?" he managed to ask, confusion joining in the gathering.
"Your heart," she said. "Sounded weird."
He didn't know whether to be relived or disappointed.
"Hearts," he said, accentuating the plural.
"That would explain it," she said.
Silence fell for a moment as they went back to their food.
"How does...?" she asked suddenly. "I mean..."
"Come here," he said, holding out his hand.
When she took it, hope decided it wasn't don't just yet and gave fear a swift kick. He lifted her hand to his chest, putting it over his left breast.
"One," he said, then moved her hand to the right.
"Two," she said with a smile. "Better with two."
It wasn't until he let go of her hand that he realised she wasn't moving, her hand still on his chest.
Hope was doing a victory lap in his stomach.
"Anyone would think I was nuts," she said. "I mean... I know so little 'bout you, but I... well, I'm still here. With you. And I trust you."
"Ask me," he said. "What do you want to know?"
So many questions, Rose thought, so little time.
Can you stop sleeping with me? I can't cope with any more casual sex.
No.
Can you stay with me every night?
No way.
Can you please take me, right here, right now?
Well... that one was a possibility.
Can you tell me how you really feel about me?
"Tell me about your family," she said.
And where did that lame-ass question come from?
"My family?" he asked.
"Your people. I want to know about them. Like the whole two hearts thing."
"Why?"
"If you don't want..." she started. She realised she was still touching him and dropped her hand. "Sorry."
"Why?"
"It's just... you know about humans. How we live our lives. So you can deal with me but I don't know..."
Oh, fuck it, she thought. Just ask him.
"I mean, you said you're nine hundred years old. That's a pretty decent life. What have you done with it? Married? Kids? How much longer do you have left?"
Hope had stopped tearing about his gut and now deep in conference with confusion.
Why had she asked about a wife and kids? He didn't even know where to begin with that.
Well, confusion replied, an actual answer would be a good start.
"No," he said. "I never... married."
"Right," she said.
"It's..." he started, then faltered.
Fuck it, he thought, just tell her.
"Just never happened."
She felt like she wanted to laugh. Her "lame-ass" question had told her enough. Marriage was an option and while she wasn't exactly looking to drag him down the aisle it was nice to know that it wasn't impossible.
Enough games, enough distractions. Just... say it.
"Jack," he said as she opened her mouth.
Huh?
Rose turned around to see that Jack had walked in, still half asleep, looking for food. The moment between her and The Doctor shattered and she stepped back.
"Morning, Jack," she said with a false smile.
I cannot throw Jack out into space. I cannot throw Jack out into space. I cannot throw Jack out...
No matter how often he said that to himself, The Doctor still had that impulse. Hope, fear and confusion were egging him on.
It was another quiet day and he was taking the opportunity to do some work on the TARDIS. At least he could play with one of the girls in his life.
He was distracted from his homicidal thoughts by the sound of footsteps entering the room. Rose. He knew it was her; unless Jack had lost a lot of weight since breakfast and had started wearing perfume.
"Thought you might like a cup of tea," she said.
He heard something being set down, then there was silence.
"Rose?" he called.
"Yeah?"
"Oh. Just checking."
Silence again.
Then more footsteps. Great. Once again Jack interrupts. First chance he got, into space.
"OK, this is getting stupid," he heard Jack say.
"What is?" Rose asked.
The Doctor climbed out of the hatch and looked at the soon-to-be-space-junk Jack.
"I'm not stupid and I'm certainly not deaf," Jack said. "You two either talk or I'm going to spell it out."
"Spell what out?" The Doctor asked.
Jack rolled his eyes. "I'm assuming that you're smart enough to realise how each of you feel about the other? Guess what? It's mutual. The TARDIS and I would appreciate it very much if you stopped messing about. Personally, all these sideways glances are driving me nuts. The ship's motives come from something about the console.
"I chose not to ask," he added. "Now, in the very unlikely event that you need me, I'll be in my room."
Rose didn't know whether to kiss and hug Jack, or to kiss and jump The Doctor.
So she just stood there, saying nothing.
The Doctor didn't move either.
Jack left and they still stood there in silence, looking over to the other every now and then.
"We'd have..." he said eventually. "I mean... at some point we would have..."
"Yeah," she said.
"I'm sorry."
"What for?" she asked.
"Oh. I was... talking to the TARDIS."
"Right. Yeah. I'm sorry too."
"So..." he started.
"So..."
"You asked if I'd ever married. Why?"
"Wanted to know."
"Why?"
"I didn't know if... Well... You're alien. I didn't know if your kind..."
"What? Fell in love? Head-over-heels, driven to distraction kind of love? Married with two point four children love?"
"Well... Yeah."
He shrugged. "Pretty much a constant in the Universe."
"Right."
"But you..."
"What about me?"
"You're nineteen. I mean, it's not as if..."
"People marry young," she interrupted. "I'm just sayin'," she added off his startled look. "But... Nineteen year olds still fall in love."
"So..."
"So..."
Jack hadn't heard anything for hours. No voices, noises, anything. He was curious but decided to leave them to it.
If he had ventured out he'd have found that the ship had moved The Doctor's room somewhere far, far away where any noises would be drowned out. She loved The Doctor and Rose, but there were some things she didn't want to know, thank you very much.