Chapter 1
"When you try your best, but you don't succeed…"
Arthur carefully arranged his silky charcoal tie to fall just right on his wrinkle-free shirt. He stared himself down in the mirror and rearranged a few stray hairs on the top of his head then pulled on his raven colored suit adjusting it to look comfortable on his rounded shoulders.
The blazing sun had just past high noon and began its slow plummet towards a barren night. Arthur plucked his briefcase off the warm colored tile by the front door and quickly locked the door to his apartment as he hurriedly left for another U.N. meeting. The elder nation made it swiftly down three flights of stairs keeping up a brisk pace as he made his way to the meeting only a few short blocks away.
The air was crisp with a horrible wind; lashing the sandy blond with icy slaps as he cursed quietly about not bringing a coat on such a day. Luckily the office building was warmer than the winter air and the island nation made his way towards the elevator only to find a large sign permitting its use. Arthur let out a rather large sigh and hiked up the four flights of stair to get to the meeting room.
401… 402… 403…
Finally he had found room 404. As the nation walked in he glanced at the bland white clock hanging on the opposite wall and was surprised to find that he was a couple minutes early rather than late. Arthur found his chair and sunk into its warn black leather, exhausted from his travels. He scanned the room to see who was still missing from the large group of nations. And, of course, the only one who was missing was his former colony, Alfred. 'If he was still under my rule he would never be late.' Thought the well-mannered nation. 'If he was still under my rule…' Arthurs thoughts trailed off into the old days when America was still a colony; still family. Soon enough his thoughts took him to the rainy day of the revolution. Arthur shook his head trying to subdue the memory and focus his attention on something else.
It was better if the golden blond boy didn't show up. So Arthur wouldn't have to stare into his Safire eyes that reminded him of the happy times they once shared before the revolution shattered them. Lately Arthur had found himself staring into those silky blue eyes more and more without noticing. Whenever that burger inhaler was around his heart would race bringing a rush of blood to his cheeks and a volt of something, he had no idea what, down his spine.
Suddenly, the room's doors burst open and a red-faced American stepped in. He wore his signature bomber jacket over what appeared to be a t-shirt paired with a pair of well-loved blue jeans and converse. The other nations ignored his rather loud entrance and continued on with their own conversations, used to Alfred's larger than life attitude. Alfred spotted Arthur and quickly took the empty seat next to the smaller nation.
Dread slowly creped it's through Arthur's rib cage and dived straight into his increasingly fast heart.
"whew! It's cold outside!" Alfred announced facing Arthur.
"If you wore more appropriate clothing to match the weather you wouldn't feel it." Arthur said stiffly wanting to run out of the room.
Just then the Francis stood up and strolled to the head of the table.
"Zince it zeems zat none of you are speaking about anyzimg terribly important I will begin ze meeting."
And thus started the endless rambling on how to defeat the Axis Powers. Everyone had their own input and the arguing began like every meeting except Arthur sat back in his chair and barely listened.
Near the end of the meeting, Alfred elbowed Arthur in the arm and began to say something about the argument. Before Alfred had a chance to speak Arthur had flinched away, jerking himself back, almost falling out of his chair. Alfred sat wide eyed at what just transpired.
"D-don't touch me you bloody git!" Arthur stammered, his face turning a cherry red. Luckily, none of the other nations had noticed, they were too wrapped up in their own self-centered squabbles.
"ZAT IZ ENOUGH! Zince we are not getting anyzing done, I am ending zis meeting now. You all are dizmissed." Francis said with a look of annoyance on his face. As the other nations gathered their papers and quietly chatted, Arthur raced out the door before Alfred had a chance to speak. Arthur made it half way down the stairs when he heard the familiar footsteps reaching the top of the stairs of the man he least wanted to see following him at a quick pace.
"Arthur!" Alfred called trying to catch up with the elder nation. Arthur then booked it down the rest of the stairs, out the lobby doors, and into the frosty afternoon not wanting the golden blond to catch him.
"Arthur!" He heard again. The sandy blond was going as fast as he could without going into a dead sprint. Soon enough he heard the same footsteps running towards him. 'Damn it,' Arthur though. He was almost back to his apartment when Alfred caught up to him.
"Arthur! Didn't you hear me calling you?" The bigger nation questioned him, a tiny bit out of breath.
"I did." Arthur said simply turning the corner to his apartment complex. His heart raced faster than the cars passing by them on the busy street.
"Then why didn't you stop?"
"I didn't stop because I have things to do and I have no time to waste on your conversation." Arthur quickly made it up the stairs; one by one, with Alfred on his heels. 'Only a little longer until he's gone.' Arthur said trying to sooth his racing heart with no such luck.
"Well, I need to talk to you. What happened back there at the meeting?" Alfred asked.
Arthur didn't respond. He was too focused on his door that was only a few feet away. He pulled out his key, still warm from his pocket, and fumbled to put it in the golden lock that felt like ice to Arthur's warm fingers.
"Arthur!" Alfred abruptly grabbed the Englishman's arm and turned him around to face the blue eyed blond awaiting an answer. Arthur's legs failed to support his weight and he fell face first into Alfred's chest. Surprised, Alfred wrapped one of his arms around the smaller man so he would not fall the ground and hurt himself.
After Arthur had a second to figure out what happened, he slapped the American's warm hand off of him and retreated till his back hit his apparent door. Wide eyes were accompanied by a beat-red face and quick, anxious breaths that came out in small white puffs in front of his face.
Alfred's hand came down hard next to Arthur's ear creating a loud thud against the door and causing the sandy blond to flinch. Those Safire eyes were inches away from his own Emerald ones and he could feel Alfred's body heat radiating off him. The American's facial expression seemed like a mixture or concern, hurt, confusion, and frustration. Arthur Turned his head to the side so he would not be hypnotized by those deep blue eyes only to find a strong had grabbing his chin and pulling his eyes back to that magnificent face. The island nation tried to wriggle free from his grasp to no avail.
"Stop ignoring my question," Alfred said sternly. "And tell me what is going on because, frankly, I have no idea. You have just about had a heart attack every time I've been near you and I want to know right now why." Alfred's eyebrows crinkled the space between them in frustration as he said this and Arthur could feel his hand tighten as Arthur tried to relinquish his grip. Something in Arthur snapped at that moment.
"I'll tell you why!" he said angrily. "You, the boy I raised, and cared for left me. You left me lying in the mud like rubbish! I gave you everything I had and you still wanted more!" Arthur could feel the tears building up in his eyes; waiting to overflow. "You ripped my heart out and stomped all over it! I never cared about anyone as much as I cared about you and you stabbed me in the back!" The tears streamed down Arthur's face and he didn't really give a damn about it at the moment.
"That was a long time ago. And I already explained-"
"I don't care if it was long ago! You don't know the pain of losing a part of you! The pain of being so lost you don't know what to do with yourself! You lived here happily while Francis had to drag my sorry ass back to Europe! For Years I couldn't stand to be around anyone! From then on I could never trust anyone either! And I still don't! And it's all your fault!" Arthur was sobbing now, the tears leaving dark patches on his white shirt and sliding onto Alfred's powerful hand that still held Arthur's chin loosely. "There is no pain equal to what pain you have given me!" Arthur then managed to break his chin free, and then he looked down at his own shiny black loafers and whispered, "There is no pain equal to that."
"Arthur…," The blond nation said with a saddened tone. He then dropped his hands from where they were frozen in shock. "Arthur I'm-"
The sobbing nation took advantage of being free from the others grasp by slipping inside his apartment and locking the door nimbly so the other could not follow. Arthur then placed his back against the cool material of the door and slid down to the floor crying. Suddenly there was a thunderous banging on the door behind him.
"Arthur! Arthur Please! I'm sorry! Open the door! Let's talk this out! Arthur! ARTHUR!" Then followed more banging.
"Please…" along with one more defeated pound at the door came after a few moments of silence. Nothing else followed. After the distraught nation though Alfred had left he broke out sobbing worse than before where he was and continued deep into the unforgiving night. Arthur wasn't sure when he finally fell asleep but he remembers the terrible nightmares of that rainy day so many years ago.