Disclaimer: Not my characters, not my show, etc. Just having fun and experessing creativity.
Phoebe's Diary
This is a fanfic about Pheebs' private thoughts. It's deep and dramatic.
Ch. 1 (Pheebs is living with Monica. Takes place 2 years before the Pilot episode)
December 29
I am grateful for my home, I really am. I just feel so...so strange here though. Monica's a real sweetheart, and so is her brother Ross. The guys across the hall are wonderful to the both of us. It's just that I keep thinking that I don't deserve to know such wonderful people. Damn it, they just come from such a different world.
Yeah, I've told them I used to be homeless; they know what happened to my mom. I never really talk about it though, I just spit it out as a fact. Sometimes I even joke about it. They love me, I'm just flaky Phoebe.
I swear sometimes I feel just so alone. I love my friends, I do, but they can never understand. Shit, I don't even have any family. Ursula....why the hell did she have to turn out to be such a bitch?! And why did she get to go live with her boyfriend while I was alone in the city, on the streets. What the hell made her so much better than me to be protected?
I was just a little girl.
Just a little girl!!!!!!!! Fuck it, I found her body. No one was there for me. No one. No one even tried to put me in foster care, I just ran and no one even looked. No one. No, I was just happy little Phoebe, who could take care of herself. I was 14 years old! 14!!!
No one there when IT happened either. In an alley, tore me apart. He cut me, I have scars. I thought I was going to die; I wish he had just killed me. I was only 15. No one even brought me to a hospital....why should they, I was just some homeless kid. I swear sometimes I wish he had killed me. No, I don't mean that..not now, not really, but then. God, I thought I would never stop bleeding. I don't even know his name, it wasn't supposed to be like that, he stole the last thing I held precious. I've never told anyone, and I want to so badly. I just want to sit down and tell them and cry. I want someone to hold me. I was a child and no one even asked me if I was OK. No one cared. Some days I want to just sit down with Monica and tell her. I want her to hold me and let me cry and I want her to just comfort me. I want her to take it all away.......I don't even know how to approach it. I just don't. What if she doesn't believe me, what if things get weird. Oh my god, what if she's cold.
She's just my roommate. Ok, well she is my best friend, but I haven't opened up to anyone since I was 12 years old, and then I lost him because of Ursula. I miss intimacy.....I haven't even found a guy I can open up to. God, I want a boyfriend....I want a boyfriend and a best friend. I just want them to love me. Is it too much to ask?! I'm almost 22 years old and I've never been loved. WHY?
I just want to sleep for a long long time. Damn it, why can't I be allowed to just cry for once. PHOBE IS NOT ALWAYS HAPPY. I can't handle this.
Phoebe's Diary
This is a fanfic about Pheebs' private thoughts. It's deep and dramatic.
Ch. 1 (Pheebs is living with Monica. Takes place 2 years before the Pilot episode)
December 29
I am grateful for my home, I really am. I just feel so...so strange here though. Monica's a real sweetheart, and so is her brother Ross. The guys across the hall are wonderful to the both of us. It's just that I keep thinking that I don't deserve to know such wonderful people. Damn it, they just come from such a different world.
Yeah, I've told them I used to be homeless; they know what happened to my mom. I never really talk about it though, I just spit it out as a fact. Sometimes I even joke about it. They love me, I'm just flaky Phoebe.
I swear sometimes I feel just so alone. I love my friends, I do, but they can never understand. Shit, I don't even have any family. Ursula....why the hell did she have to turn out to be such a bitch?! And why did she get to go live with her boyfriend while I was alone in the city, on the streets. What the hell made her so much better than me to be protected?
I was just a little girl.
Just a little girl!!!!!!!! Fuck it, I found her body. No one was there for me. No one. No one even tried to put me in foster care, I just ran and no one even looked. No one. No, I was just happy little Phoebe, who could take care of herself. I was 14 years old! 14!!!
No one there when IT happened either. In an alley, tore me apart. He cut me, I have scars. I thought I was going to die; I wish he had just killed me. I was only 15. No one even brought me to a hospital....why should they, I was just some homeless kid. I swear sometimes I wish he had killed me. No, I don't mean that..not now, not really, but then. God, I thought I would never stop bleeding. I don't even know his name, it wasn't supposed to be like that, he stole the last thing I held precious. I've never told anyone, and I want to so badly. I just want to sit down and tell them and cry. I want someone to hold me. I was a child and no one even asked me if I was OK. No one cared. Some days I want to just sit down with Monica and tell her. I want her to hold me and let me cry and I want her to just comfort me. I want her to take it all away.......I don't even know how to approach it. I just don't. What if she doesn't believe me, what if things get weird. Oh my god, what if she's cold.
She's just my roommate. Ok, well she is my best friend, but I haven't opened up to anyone since I was 12 years old, and then I lost him because of Ursula. I miss intimacy.....I haven't even found a guy I can open up to. God, I want a boyfriend....I want a boyfriend and a best friend. I just want them to love me. Is it too much to ask?! I'm almost 22 years old and I've never been loved. WHY?
I just want to sleep for a long long time. Damn it, why can't I be allowed to just cry for once. PHOBE IS NOT ALWAYS HAPPY. I can't handle this.