Anything but Sense and Sensibility
A/N: So this story gives away the ending to Jane Austen's Mansfield Park. Just a head's up. :) Also, sorry it took me awhile to get this posted. Like I've mentioned before, this month is really busy for me. But anyway, this idea came to me randomly. I love Jane Austen's work, and I love "Life with Derek," so I thought: why not use them both in a story? A Dasey story, of course. ;)
"And don't forget about the project on Mansfield Park for next Tuesday! Your assigned partners are on the sheet attached outside the classroom. Have a good weekend, everyone." The rambling voice of Derek's English teacher finally came to a stop. He barely noticed, being slumped-over and half-asleep with his hand propping up his head.
A slight pressure on his shoulder from behind him prompted a grunt out of him.
"Derek," the familiar voice nagged. When he still didn't respond, the voice screeched, "Der-EK!"
"Huh? What? But I didn't finish baking the apple…" Derek trailed off as the dream world faded and he realized where he was… and what he was saying.
He was definitely awake now. And Casey's smirk was wider than any of the times he'd ever seen it.
"Baking the apple… pie?" she supplied, not even bothering to suppress a snicker.
Derek rose to his feet and shoved the empty notebook he hadn't even bothered to open into his bag. "Yeah, let's not go there," he hissed, worried that someone important might overhear.
"Go where? You started it by falling asleep in class. Maybe it's some form of payback for all the cruel things you did to me. Maybe you're finally going to get your come-uppance." As he headed for the hallway, Casey rattled on and on about karma this and justice that. But Derek didn't really hear her; his eyes had fallen onto one of the most gorgeous girls he had ever seen. She didn't look familiar… was she new? Surely she hadn't been around for long, or else he would have noticed such a beautiful creature.
"…won't do it ever again?" Casey jabbered. It took Derek a moment to realize that it was a question. He tore his eyes off the shapely girl's receding form and glanced at Casey.
"Huh?"
She pursed her lips, one hand on her hip, and demanded, "So you won't ever procrastinate again?"
Derek could only blink at her for a second or two. Finally, he found his voice: "Case, listen to me. The hottest girl I have ever seen just waltzed down the hallway past me. Homework is so far from my mind right now that I don't even remember how to spell it." He patted her shoulder. "Now why don't you run along and play with your little calculator and leave off the nagging, ok? I'm off to catch a date with the pretty blonde." He knew he was being a bit mean, but Casey had to understand: he was a guy. When a girl with flowing wheat-colored hair and large green eyes and an hourglass figure sauntered by, he couldn't be expected to pay attention to his brown-noser stepsister. It just didn't happen.
He barely registered the look on Casey's face; he was too caught up in his own plans for how to "accidentally" meet the strange girl and impress her with his high social status.
Had he glanced a moment longer at Casey, he might have noticed her lower lip fall open slightly as the briefest of breaths whooshed out. He might have seen her eyes flicker away from his, or the confident stature of her shoulders falter a moment as she took a deep breath. He might have glimpsed the way she plucked at a lock of her dark brown hair – self-consciously – and glared at it angrily for some reason unbeknownst to anyone but herself.
He might have seen these things, but he didn't. Derek Venturi only saw what he wanted to see. And right now his hot-blooded, 16-year-old body wanted to see some more of the mysterious girl.
So intent on finding her, Derek would have waltzed right past the posting with the partners for the English project. However, the shrill shriek coming from directly behind him jarred enough to snap him (temporarily) out of his daydream. Turning, Derek rolled his eyes at his stepsister. "What now, drama queen?" he demanded.
Casey's eyes slid up to meet his, and he saw the absolute anger burning in them. It was enough to make him take a step back, and the forceful finger she pointed in his face only reaffirmed his right in being afraid. "I don't know WHY the world always seems so against me, Derek Venturi, but if I were to hazard a guess, I'd say you were somehow behind every mishap in my life!" Her voice became sharper and higher with each word.
Derek raised his eyebrows and replied, "Well, I'd love to take the credit for that, but… I'm afraid I have no idea what you're talking about."
Casey glared up at him. "Didn't you even LOOK at the list of partners by the door? We have to work together on the Jane Austen project!!"
The idea was not nearly as bad as he'd been expecting, based off of Casey's reaction. But then again, Derek should have known by now that she blew up over anything that didn't work out exactly as she'd planned it with her rainbow-colored post-it notes and her glitter pens.
"Relax, Case," he soothed, placing two hands on her shoulders. "It's just an English project. I'm sure you'll do a fine job for us both."
"THAT's not going to happen!" Casey seethed, and Derek realized that she was on the verge of hyperventilating. "YOU are going to do exactly HALF of the work, or so help me God, I will—"
Derek interrupted her with a laugh. "You'll what? Tell on me?" he scoffed. "Like I care about such inconsequential things as grades." He patted her cheek and gave her a quick wink before adding, "Besides, I've got to go find myself a new blonde-haired babe."
He turned on his heel and waltzed away, whistling to himself.
--
"The nerve of some of these boys," the girl huffed to her friends standing next to her. "A girl comes back from Winter Break, with a haircut and a few new clothes, and suddenly she's being bombarded by idiotic, slavering wolves."
"Well, your hair is gorgeous," her frizzy-haired friend replied. "Your new look all-around is amazing, Eva. You remind me of Emma a bit now."
The girl called Eva laughed, causing some of her hair to slide over her shoulders in a velvety sheen of gold.
"Oh, I could never be compared to Emma Woodhouse," she chuckled. "She's much too fond of delving in other people's business. And I would never consider myself a matchmaker."
What the hell? Derek thought to himself. He had found the beautiful girl from earlier without much trouble. She was standing in the lunch line right in front of him with a small group of bookish-looking girls. They'd spent the last five minutes talking about random people he'd never heard of. They'd particularly been attached to a guy they simply referred to as "Mr. Darcy." He wondered if it was a teacher they knew. Whoever it was, the girls were obviously all crazy about the guy. It might have been a bit creepy from someone else, but anything that the blonde-haired girl called Eva said sounded like music to his ears. He continued ease-dropping.
"Well, Emma ends up with the handsome Mr. Knightley," another girl said. "I'd take him for a boyfriend in a heartbeat. Or any of the Jane Austen men, really." This brought on a round of giggling.
These girls have some issues, Derek thought to himself. Why do they keep talking about teachers? Maybe they're only into older men… He shivered involuntarily at the thought. Such a waste of hotness…
At that moment, however, Eva said something that caught his attention. "Well, any guy who appreciates the fine quality of Jane Austen's novels is good enough for me."
Jane Austen… Jane Austen. Why did that name sound familiar? Derek wracked his brains for an answer. Suddenly, a small smile formed across his lips as Casey's voice rang in his ears: We have to work together on the Jane Austen project! He'd never thought the day would come when he was actually eager to work on a project with the most grade-grubbing girl in school. This, however, was that day.
--
"The nerve of him!" Casey cried into the phone. She was lying on her stomach, stretched out across her bed as she flipped through her copy of Mansfield Park. "He didn't even care that we have a huge book report due on this book in just four days!"
"Well, this is Derek we're talking about, right?" the voice of her best friend, Emily Davis, replied. "What else did you expect him to do? Sweep you up into a great, big hug? Announce his joy to the world? Give thanks to the Gods above? Embroider you a—"
"Okay, okay, I get the picture," Casey sighed. "I just wish sometimes that he'd share a little of my enthusiasm for English. Or for academics, period."
"Why, my dear step-sister Casey," a voice from the doorway said, "Of course I care about the academic world." Casey's head snapped up to see Derek waltzing through her bedroom door and plopping himself down into the seat by her desk. He gazed at her warmly, a small smile tugging the corners of his mouth upwards.
"Uh…" Casey mumbled into the phone. "I'll call you back later, okay, Em?" She hung up the phone and raised an eyebrow at Derek. "Care to throw that one by me again, Derek?"
"I said that I do actually care about school," Derek flashed her a brilliant smile, and Casey felt a tingle dance down her spine at the way the grin dimpled his left cheek and crinkled his eyes. She repressed the shiver and raised her other eyebrow.
"You care about school?" she repeated, and Derek rolled his eyes.
"Well, usually not, but I have to do fairly well on this English project to pass the class, so… you know. Got to lay low on the chick-scouting and help my do-gooder partner on our project."
Casey harrumphed in annoyance. This was a bit more like Derek. "Well…" she said, stalling for time as she tried to figure out the purpose behind this temporary lapse in his sanity.
Rolling his eyes, Derek picked up one of her favorite pens. It was pink and sparkly, and had been given to her by her father a few Christmas's ago. He made a few markings on one of her post-it notes with the pen, obviously trying to fight off his impatience with her.
"I suppose I better take what I can get from your sudden enthusiasm for Jane Austen," Casey finally said.
"Excellent!" Derek's grin grew, and Casey couldn't repress the idea that it was meant just for her. What is with me? It's just Derek! I'm not into him. Derek spun her pen around and around on her desk. "When do we start?"
"Well, did you read the book?" She held her own copy out to him, automatically assuming that he hadn't.
"Mansfield Park?" Derek waved a hand. "I read it last night."
Casey just laughed. "Yeah, right, Derek. Come on, you read the summary on sparknotes, didn't you?"
He just smirked at her in response. She couldn't help laughing; it was just so Derek-ish. "Yeah, I thought so," she chuckled.
"Hey, at least I'm trying."
"True," she admitted. There was a pause, and Casey realized (with some surprise) that her heart was beating a bit more quickly than usual. She tried to steady her pulse by taking slow breaths, but it didn't seem to help. Especially not when Derek got up and sat down next to her on the bed.
"So, we just – what? – talk about the meaning behind this book, then? Is that it?" he asked.
Casey nodded, her breathing becoming shallower as she caught a whiff of his aftershave. It made her feel a bit light-headed. Or was that from the warm touch of the hand he'd just laid on her shoulder? What is wrong with me? "You okay, Case? Cuz I really can't have you getting sick on me when we have such an important project to work on." He rubbed her upper-arm in mock-concern.
Biting back a groan of annoyance, Casey wondered to herself if he had any idea of the effect he was currently having on her. She suspected that he might because his smirk seemed to grow more mischievous. But usually he just continued on like usual with his torturous banter, the kind of teasing that might have been construed as flirtatious had he been speaking to another, prettier girl. A blonde-haired girl, she remembered bitterly.
"I-I'm fine," she managed. "Just feeling a bit overwhelmed by the project, is all."
"Aww, poor Casey," Derek drawled, and Casey knew he was only teasing her, as usual. He slid an arm over her shoulder, with the careless ease that only Derek Venturi seemed to possess. "Luckily for you, I'll be right here to help you out, in any way you might possibly need it."
"Thanks," she muttered, hoping the blush on her cheeks wasn't as red as it felt. This can't be good.
--
"Wait, so this Fanny person has a crush on her cousin?" Derek asked, making a face. "That's freaky." He flipped to the end of the book to see if they ended up together. He read a few lines and exclaimed, "What the hell?" He snapped the book close. "This Jane Austen woman must have been a real pervert in her time."
Casey stiffened and turned her nose up at him. "Jane Austen was a genius. She parodied, she satirized, and her sarcastic wit is unmatched to this day." Casey paused, a small smile forming on her lips and her eyes glazing over in a daydream. "And her heroes are very impressive. Very noble and chivalrous."
Derek rolled his eyes. "Don't tell me that you're into them, too."
"Why? Who else is into them?" Casey looked eager, and Derek realized that he had almost said too much; almost given away his real reasoning for working so eagerly on this project. If Casey found out the truth, she would be sure to punish him for it….
"Uh, I think I heard Emily mention it. Or maybe Lizzie, I don't remember." At Casey's raised eyebrow, Derek quickly decided to deflect her questioning with a question of his own: "Who's your favorite hero?"
This seemed to catch her off-guard; she looked up from her notes and raised both eyebrows. "Um… well, I like them all. They're all perfect gentlemen."
"All right, fine. Who's your favorite heroine then?"
Casey furrowed her eyebrows and thought for a moment. "I dunno. I suppose that Elizabeth – she's from Pride and Prejudice – is my favorite. But the one who I identify the most with is… well, I guess it depends on my mood. Sometimes it's Emma, sometimes it's Elizabeth."
Derek peered up at her as he sprawled on his stomach on her bed. "Who is it now?" he asked, picking at a loose thread on her quilt as he watched her. He didn't really know why he was asking her these questions, but he told himself that it was because he wanted to know more about these books so he could impress Eva.
"Well… I guess I'd have to say… Fanny Price." Derek thought he saw a blush rise on Casey's cheeks, and gave a little snicker.
"What?" she demanded, the blush deepening. She picked up her pen and started scribbling on her notebook, not meeting Derek's eyes.
"So, you're in love with your cousin, then?" Derek laughed outright. "Didn't know you had the hots for Victoria, too."
Her mouth dropped open, and Casey gave a quick gasp of anger. "De-REK!" she screeched, leaping off her desk chair to pounce on him. "You take that back!!"
Derek only continued laughing as she tackled him and began whacking him with her pillow. "You're way too easy to get a rise out of, you know that, right?" He grabbed a stuffed animal and started hitting her in the face with its fuzzy body.
Casey gasped and immediately dropped her pillow, grabbing the stuffed animal and clutching it to her chest. "Poor Martin, you're okay now."
This only triggered another bout of laughter from Derek. She'd actually named her stuffed rabbit "Martin"?
"Ok, Casey, you've officially lost it now. It's just a stupid stuffed animal."
She glared at him and smacked his ear. Pretty hard, too.
"OW!" Derek bellowed, rubbing at the side of his head. He reached across her to smack her back, but she must have known he was going to do that, because she dodged out of the way, and his hand brushed her breast instead.
Derek immediately yanked his hand back, surprised at the blush that he felt rising in his cheeks. What the hell was his problem? It wasn't like he'd never groped one of his dates there before…. A wave of nausea rolled through his stomach as he thought about exactly whose breast he'd just touched: his step-sister's. That was almost as bad as Fanny Price hooking up with her cousin, Edmund.
"Uh…" he said, and picked up Mansfield Park, momentarily at a loss for words.
Had he glanced up at Casey, he would have noticed that her face was as red as the bow tied around Martin's neck. Instead, he only heard the waver of her voice as she replied, "Um, should we get back to the book review?"
"Yeah…" Derek replied, the nausea passing. It wasn't like either of them had meant for that to happen. And besides, they were only step-siblings. Not actual brother and sister, thank God.
"So we need to analyze a couple of quotes as part of the assignment," Casey said, clearing her throat. What about the passage from page 394?"
Derek numbly flipped to the page and waited for Casey to continue.
"This is something that Fanny says: 'I cannot think well of a man who sports with any woman's feelings; and there may often be a great deal more suffered than a stander-by can judge of.' What do you make of it, Derek?"
Still reeling a bit from what he had just done to her, Derek didn't pick up on the intensity of her voice as she read the quote. He shrugged. "I dunno. Sounds like this Fanny chick is unhappy about something. It's all old-fashioned-sounding, though." He made a face. "Do you actually like this crap?"
Huffing in annoyance, Casey grabbed his book to point at the passage. Derek couldn't help feeling uncomfortable with her body so close to his as she leaned over to find the passage in his book. Her fingers brushed his wrist as she pointed to the passage, and Derek forced his hand not to jerk away from her. What the hell is wrong with me? he wondered, frustrated at his body's odd response to Casey's proximity.
"Fanny's talking about Henry Crawford, Derek. He's a ladies' man who flirts with any woman around, trying to get her to fall in love with him. He's got his sights set on Fanny now, but she doesn't like him because he's so callous. So that just makes him want her even more."
Derek nodded, shifting slightly away. "Right, she likes her cousin." He flashed Casey a grin, adding, "The same way you like Vicky, huh?"
Casey's eyes narrowed and she crossed her arms. "If you make one more joke about that, Derek Venturi, I swear to God that—"
But Derek stopped listening. Because he couldn't help noticing the way his step-sister's cleavage became very, very apparent when she had her arms like that. The tank top clung to her body and revealed curves that he hadn't ever noticed Casey having before. She was his step-sister, after all. He knew that he should stop staring at her chest, but his eyes wouldn't cooperate with his brain.
"…not funny at all, ok? Unless you want me to start making jokes about your obsession with your step-cousin. Because you know, you can't make fun of Fanny for liking Edmund when you made out with Victoria." Casey was going on and on.
Derek finally looked up, distracted from his thoughts about Casey's cleavage with her barb about him making out with his step-cousin. "Kissing Victoria isn't the same as kissing my real cousin. I'd only just met her! It's not the same!"
Casey looked upset, for some bizarre reason. "Right, and so the fact that we only met a few weeks before our parents' wedding makes us brother and sister, then?"
"What?" Derek asked, completely confused. "What does that have to do with anything?"
Immediately, Casey blanched. Derek might have laughed at how white her face was, if he hadn't just been having very un-sisterly thoughts about her chest. "Um," Casey mumbled, standing up and putting more distance between them. "I guess it's sort of irrelevant. I don't know why…."
A thought struck Derek, and it brought back the nausea. "Wait a minute…" he said, holding up a hand. "You don't… you don't like…" But Derek couldn't say it. So he changed his question at the last minute, "You don't actually like this Fanny character, do you?"
As soon as he'd asked the question, Casey's shoulders relaxed, and she sank into her computer chair. "Well, she's a bit too meek for my taste, but I suppose I can relate to her feelings of insecurity and mediocrity." She paused, and sneered at Derek. "You probably like that Henry guy, right? The one who plays with every woman's emotions?"
Rolling his eyes, Derek shut the book. "Look, Casey, men like myself and Henry have a gift. Women like you and Fanny Price wouldn't understand that."
Casey groaned with aggravation. "Derek, you're hopeless. Get out of my room."
"All right, but only if you agree to analyze the quote. Otherwise I'm going to stay right here and go on and on about how good-looking I am and how I have such a great way with the girls…"
Casey was shoving him out the door by this point, crying, "Out, out, out!"
Derek laughed the whole way back to his room.
--
The next morning, Casey woke to the alarm of her radio, which she usually set to classical music. This time, however, it was programmed to what sounded like hard rock. Whatever it was, it sounded atrocious. She covered her ears, sat up and managed to turn it off as quickly as she could.
Her door flew open. "Morning, sunshine," Derek cried, practically skipping into her room. "Ready to begin another day of work on Mansfield Park?"
Casey flopped back onto her pillow. "Derek," she asked through gritted teeth. "Did you change my alarm settings?"
"Why do you ask?" he asked, feigning hurt.
"Because it was set to some hard rock song, and now I'm completely cranky because it woke me up from what would have been a very peaceful night's sleep." This was a lie, as Casey had spent a very long time lying awake and thinking about what had happened between her and Derek the night before. From the moment he'd accidentally touched her boob, to the way he'd seemed repulsed by her proximity to him on the bed. She didn't know what to make of it, and had even shed a few tears over his apparent disgust in her, although she'd pretended that the tears were because she was stuck working on this project with Derek.
"Well, I've got some big plans for tonight, Case, and I really need to get some more work done on this project beforehand."
Casey raised a wary eyebrow. "Since when are you such a keener?"
He shrugged nonchalantly and sank onto her computer chair. "Since I need to pass English."
Sliding out of her covers, Casey got up and started brushing her hair at her vanity table. "Got a big date tonight?" she asked, trying for a nonchalant attitude herself.
"Yep," Derek beamed. "Remember that hot blonde girl I saw in the hallway? Well, I called her last night and set up a date! She was more than happy to accept."
"You mean Eva Rosters?" Casey asked, raising her eyebrows. "I saw you stalking her in the cafeteria, and believe me, Derek: she is not your type."
Derek waved a dismissive hand. "Every girl is my type."
"Well, you aren't her type. She's really bookish and studious. I bet she thinks Henry Crawford is an obnoxious idiot."
"You must have been wrong (no surprise there), because she agreed to watch Pride and Presidents with me tonight."
Casey rolled her eyes and set her brush down. "It's Prejudice, you doofus. And she probably want to watch the 5-hour version."
This seemed to catch Derek off-guard. "Wait, it's five hours?"
Laughing at his pale face, Casey said, "You should probably watch Emma instead. It's really good, and a lot shorter."
Derek nodded, lost in thought. "Five hours?" he muttered under his breath, and Casey laughed again.
"Five hours of an old-fashioned love story, Derek. With a really hot male lead playing Mr. Darcy."
His eyes shot up and met hers. "Wait, this Mr. Darcy dude is from that movie? So that's what she meant by that! I thought she and her friends were gushing over some teacher." He shuddered. "Thank God I got that wrong."
"You're hopeless, you know that, Derek?" Casey said.
"Well, at least I've got a date with someone super hot. That's more than I can say about you!"
Casey rolled her eyes at him and pulled out her copy of Mansfield Park. It was time to do some homework. But even Casey couldn't push away the pain inside her stomach at the thought of Derek with a girl who was so much prettier than herself. She couldn't deny the hurt that his comment about her lack of a hot date caused her. And she certainly couldn't repress the gnawing idea that her recent feelings about Derek were so far from sisterly that they were practically rated PG-13! She wasn't one to swear out loud, let alone even inside her head… but Casey found herself staring at Derek's long torso and the way his jeans showed off his attractive legs as he sprawled out over her bed, and thinking a slew of very inappropriate words inside her head.
--
A/N: Hope you enjoyed the first part! Please review- the more feedback I get, the more excited I am about updating! :)