Saying Goodbye

By: Tainted Visions

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter in any form or fashion.

Author's Note: Just thought I'd do a one-shot, hehe.

Summary: Harry refelcts on the battle he knows lies ahead and lets go of his past.

" Even through the darkest days, this fire burns always.." - "This Fire Burns" - Killswitch Engage

The night was patched and foggy; the mist seemed to cover everything, delete every spectra of hope in the world and replace it with an eternal helplessness. But then again, the whole world seemed to have fallen away from the equator. Hope seemed like a simple four-letter word without a logical meaning. No one in the Wizarding world took it to heart – everyone knew it was a lie, a far-fetched fantasy that would never happen. Especially now since the Ministry had confirmed You-Know-Who's return, and was cautiously warning people to be extra careful, watchful, on constant vigilance. There was no telling what horror could ensue now.

Harry Potter knew that all too well. Two ( almost three) years ago, he had seen the return of Voldemort, had dueled him, and was in a close proximity of death himself, but if his parents hadn't come in time, in spiritual connection that was, as Dumbledore had told him, a reverse spell play-back of the deaths Voldemort had caused, he wouldn't be alive. Luck was with him that time.

But he knew that luck wouldn't always be with him. Even with Felics Fecilicies, Harry knew that he wouldn't come out alive all the time, out of every encounter with Voldemort, without even a single injury. And the potion wasn't exactly full-proof, either.

Turning over on his bed, gazing out the window, Harry stared up at the night sky, letting the warm July air out his open window brush through his hair. He knew that one day, sooner rather than later, destiny would come calling. Soon he'd have the make the choice, the choice between what he knew was right and what he knew was easy. As Dumbledore's greatest message pounded in his head, Harry furiously wiped at his eyes, not wanting to cry. Not even less than two months ago he had seen Dumbledore fall to his death, by someone that everyone, including Dumbledore, had trusted – Snape.

But like most of his life, it had been a lie. Snape's true loyalties were with the Dark Lord, and when the Death Eater's approached the castle on the crestfallen night, Harry had known that immediately it would spell disaster. As soon as he saw the green light hit his beloved protector, Harry knew it was over; He had lost everyone he had counted on for protection — his final hope was gone.

That was perhaps the night when every last bit of happiness he had felt in his life had vanished. He knew the good times were over, dead and gone, like his parents, like Sirius, like Dumbledore. And once again, it was Voldemort who had won, had left him with nothing. Sure, he had his friends, but how long would it be before they were gone too? How long would it be before he was left with nothing again?

He turned to his left side, now, catching sight of his parents picture on his night stand. He watched as his father and mother danced, his mother laughing so carelessly, not knowing that soon it would all be coming to an end...

Harry let the tears finally fall down his face.

'Of course she didn't know,' Harry thought, 'she didn't know death was coming!'

His heart ached with pain, and he sat up in his bed, and, making sure no one could hear him, broke into a heart-wrenching sob. The odd thing about it was, everyone whom Harry had known, everyone who had been there and left, everyone who had stood up for him, loved him, protected him, didn't know they would be meeting such an end. None of them knew death was calling for them. He remembered the night Sirius died, dueling with Bellatrix, fighting for him, the spell hit him, and he still had that smile on his face, Harry could still see it, but he couldn't help seeing the look of fear on his Godfather's face as he fell through the veil, and Harry, then, had expected him to come back up and re-join the battle, but he hadn't. He was gone. Another person was taken from him.

The honking of the alarm clock finally penetrated his thoughts. His eyes found it, taking in the time – 12.00. It was Midnight; he was seventeen years old now. With the feeling of pride he felt every year, Harry lit a smile to his face. He was another year older, and more grateful than ever that after everything that had gone on for the last seven years, he was still alive and breathing. But something, a gut-wrenching realization hit him faster than a car at full speed – he was officially grown. He was a man now, no longer a little boy. No longer that helpless child who was watching as his parents were murdered, or that manipulated teen who watched his Godfather fall to his death, or that fearful sixteen-year-old screaming helplessly as his protector was killed...

He was grown, he had to take control of his life now. He had to throw away his childhood forever and prepare himself for the battle he knew was somewhere ahead, and he had to be ready to make that choice when the time came. Harry wiped the tears from his face, narrowing his eyes in determination. He couldn't be weak anymore. If he wanted to stand a chance against Voldemort, he had to throw away everything, his past, his pain, his vulnerability — he had to throw away the person he used to be and change into someone else, a stronger, stable, revenge-filled person.

His eyes found his parent's portrait again, and he lifted it from the table into his arms and held it close to his heart. He closed his eyes for a moment, taking in that happiness, the sound of his mother's laughter, and his father's bright smile and framed it in his heart. He flicked the light on. The bulb inside his heart burst into a blast of light, a fire rising from deep within the core of his soul.

There was no turning back. It was either kill or be killed, and he wasn't going down without a fight, he was going to fight even if there was no battle left to fight. If this was the end of the line for him, he wasn't going to flat-lining. He was going to keep beating, and with the flame inside his heart that was the love of his parents, he felt the hope return inside his soul, and set the picture down.

He rose from his bed, staring out the window as the Northen star shined brightly, and he knew at that moment that everyone who had ever loved him was watching him, backing him in what he knew would be the hardest battle in his life. With the prophecy taking a new meaning in his heart, Harry James Potter smiled and knew that although darker days were out there somewhere, the happiness, the laugh of his mother, the smile of everyone he loved would keep the flame burning in his heart.

And he closed his eyes and quietly said good-bye to the little boy inside.

Well, that's it. I was actually inspired for this fic by this song called " Look Out Below" by Closure, from the "Darkness Falls" soundtrack, but I always was inspired by " This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage. Please read and review if you like.