A/N: Hello, all. This is the Hanna Is Not A Boy's Name novelization I had mentioned in my profile. First of all, I call Hanna's sidekick 'Zombie', to spare me the trouble of giving him a new name every time I refer to him. I've seen a few authors give him a new name every time, and that just seems exhausting and confusing for me as a writer. I know that giving him a name, even Zombie, rather defeats the purpose of having him be a nameless person, but I really couldn't think of a way to get around it and still let the writing flow smoothly. So, I apologize if this upsets anyone.
Also, anything centered and in italics is Zombie's narration. I figure that would be pretty obvious, but I thought I'd mention it just in case.
This is a longer piece than most I've written previously, and I contemplated breaking it down into smaller pieces. But no, I ended up sticking with one solid chapter. I hope you enjoy! (bow)
Disclaimer: I DO NOT own HiNaBN, in any way. No, it belongs Tessa Stone, a fantastic artist/storyteller.
Hanna Is Not A Boy's Name
Chapter One:
In Which There Is A Bat and It Kicks Hanna's Ass
This is the name of a girl.
Hanna Falk Cross.
That was the name the man saw when he looked down at the business card he held in his dark green hand. Next to the name was the number 306. He rubbed the corner of the card against a ridged row of stitches across the skin between his thumb and forefinger, then knocked lightly on the door in front of him. It indeed said: 306, but the 6 was hanging crookedly upside down. He looked at the name again.
I'm imagining some sort of long faced chick with a temper.
He shifted his heavy, bright blue scarf on his orange-clad shoulders and knocked again, eyeing the yellow light shining under the door crack. He waited, adjusting his black jeans by their dark belt. Then the door creaked open and a rather drowsy, younger looking face poked out. It was pale, the eyes framed by slightly crooked, square rimmed glasses. A messy array of short, slightly curly, ginger hair was swept back in a messy semblance of order.
"'lo?" the owner of the face croaked, peering around.
But this is very clearly
a boy.
"Holy shit!" The young man's suddenly-more-alert eyes took in the stranger standing before his door.
His skin was indeed a green-ish color, though the skin around his literally glowing, yellow eyes was pitch black. His hair was also black, though little, almost wing-like, swept back curls by his temples were a snowy white. He wore a thick, very long, blue and white striped scarf around his neck, though it failed to conceal his flat line of a mouth, or the thick stitches on his protruding cheek bones. In contrast to the scarf, the shirt he was wearing was bright orange. He stood a good few heads taller than the young man that stood gaping in the doorway.
I have to admit, I'm kind of shocked.
After all...
...
Hanna is not a boy's name.
"Mister Cross?" inquired the man in a slightly deadpan voice, raising one eye brow at the wide-eyed stare he was receiving.
"You're dead!" blurted the red-head, still gaping. Then he jerked back slightly. "I mean…you're uh…more of a…hm. Living dead since you know…jeez. Wow." The man simply glared down at the overly excited young man, who flinched and half covered his mouth, looking embarrassed, and made an odd noise. "Sorry. Is it a touchy subject?"
"Is it that obvious?"
"No!" the young man assured him hurriedly, waving his hands. Then he paused. "Well. Maybe. A little. Or a lot…?" The taller man sighed and examined his grey fingernails, hearing muttered whispers of suspicion and curiosity growing behind him as other occupants of the apartment complex gathered there.
"I wanted to be discreet…"
"Oh, don't worry," the young man assured him, grinning happily and pushing the door open farther. "Weird people come through here all the time so…" He stepped aside. "Ok, come in." The man did so, unwinding his scarf and dropping it neatly onto the other's head. "That's cool…"
"Wow," the red-head said, after he'd closed the door, pulling the scarf off his head, looking up at the taller man. "I don't know where to start. I've heard stories of successful resurrections, but-"
"It's okay," the zombie-man interrupted. "I didn't come so I could be alive again. I've spent a lot of time just thinking." His mind wandered back to the many sunny day's he'd spent sitting on cracked and lonely gravestones, watching the birds. "Now…now I really don't know where else to go." He held out the same business card he'd been looking at earlier, only the backside was facing up. On it read: Paranormal Investigator, accompanied by a couple odd figures. "It does say you're a Paranormal Investigator on your card." He examined the young man fully for the first time. He was wearing dark, navy-blue jeans with a white "x" shaped patch over one part. His collared shirt was white with grey-ish stripes across it at even, horizontal intervals. He was very skinny, his shirt baggy across his stomach. He didn't look much like a professional investigator of any kind.
"Whoa! Where did you even get this?" he exclaimed, staring at the card, and the taller man took this as confirmation that the energetic guy was, indeed, Hanna Cross.
"I forgot," he said musingly. He blinked his glowing eyes a couple of times as Hanna examined his own card in seeming wonderment. "Are you hiring, then?" Hanna froze.
"Hi-huh?" Then a wide grin split his face. "Yes! Fuck yes."
I knew the "business" was anything but booming,
but it seemed like a good idea at the time, and hey-
It actually was.
"Okay!" Hanna exclaimed, swinging his arm around in the direction of a couple scattered piles of crumpled papers, and a humming laptop resting on a wooden chair, all lit hazily by the glow of the over-head light. "This is our office!" He spun around to face the rest of the room, revealing a battered floor, some more papers, and an old mattress. "Aaaand-" He stopped and shrugged, almost sheepishly. "Tour's over!" The zombie blinked slowly, examining the dingy, run down little room.
"You're enthusiasm makes it oddly compelling," he informed Hanna mildly. He paused, then, "I'm really excited about this, actually."
"Me too-" Hanna stopped, eyeing him suspiciously. "Wait. Are you being facetious?" The zombie frowned.
"No?" It sounded more like a dubious question than an answer. "Why would I be?"
"Well…" Hanna shrugged. "You just look so serious all the time. Have you always been like that?"
"I don't know."
"You…you forgot?" Hanna eyed him curiously.
"Hmm…" The zombie fiddled with his black tie. "A little. I imagine it's like riding a bicycle, though. If I had something to remind me, it'd all come back." Hanna raised his eyebrows.
"But…" He trailed off and cleared his throat. "Well, what's your name, then?" For a moment, the zombie didn't say anything, his eyes tracking the flight pattern of a dark moth that flitted around the exposed light bulb hanging from the ceiling.
"I think it started with a "D"," he said softly, raising his hands to cup the air around the moth. "Maybe an "S"." He gently closed his cupped hands around the moth, feeling its delicate wings fluttering against the inside of his fingers.
"Those…are pretty different." Hanna gave him an odd look.
"I guess…"
"No, they're not very interchangeable," Hanna informed him, one eyebrow still raised. "Not knowing if a person said dick or sick can really screw up a conversation."
"You can call me whatever you like," the zombie said softly, releasing the moth and watching it flutter frantically away from him. Hanna put one hand on his chin, a contemplative frown on his face. Then he looked up at the zombie. "I can keep trying new names, and when you hear one you like, you can tell me! How's that?" Zombie nodded slightly.
"David?"
"Mmn."
"Uhh, Taylor?"
"Mnuh."
"Larry?"
"No…"
"What about Zander? "Z"s are cool." Zombie was silent for a long moment. "Hey, I can do this all night."
"I was worried about that." Zombie walked over to the little window set in the far wall, peering down onto the city below.
This has to be the
tiniest window to ever exist.
"Chuck. Gerald? Jim!" Hanna frowned. "You're a hard man to please, but that's okay-" He was interrupted by a harsh knocking on his door.
"Falk?" rasped a wheezy, female voice outside his door. "You in there? Ya got someone lookin' for ya."
"Mrs. Blaney?" yelped Hanna, a look of fear-mixed-with-revulsion crossing his features.
"The one and only," laughed the rasping voice. "Open up, Falk. This little morsel can't seem to keep his hands off me-"
"What?" She laughed again, this time at the outraged male voice that had interrupted her.
"Falk…is you?" Zombie asked with mild curiosity, looking doubtfully towards the door.
"Err, yes," Hanna said awkwardly, still looking desperately uncomfortable with the whole situation. "My, um, middle name." There was another loud knock on the door. "Coming!" When he pulled the door open, he was greeted by the older, sagging, tanned face of his landlady, a cigarette placed firmly between her pink-smeared lips.
"Its 'bout time, sweet cheeks," she tutted, her heavily lidded eyes taking in the sight of Zombie standing behind him. She slowly blinked her drooping eyes, her heavily-purpled eyelids moving sluggishly. She scratched at her frizzled, unkempt blond hair and dragged forward a man by the front of his badly torn red shirt. He had a trail of blood streaked from the corner of his mouth down to his chin, and his right eye was surrounded by a blue-ish-purple bruise.
"Uh, thanks, Mrs. Blaney." Hanna laughed nervously.
"Mmm," she grunted in response. She eyed him suspiciously. "Why you have so many men over tonight?" She nodded back at the man behind her, who was straightening his square-rimmed glasses and glaring at her. "You be careful. This one looks meek, but I think he-"
"You can go now," snapped the dark-haired man. "Please." He huffed out a sigh, shrugging a shoulder that had deep, bloody scratches on it. "I'm begging you."
Conrad Achenleck.
A mouthful of a name
and
our first real client.
He also seems to be terrified of women.
Conrad shuffled away from the older lady, who he stood a good head taller than, glaring at her.
"I see," she said, waggling her eyebrows. "Impatient to get some action, then."
I do not think she is helping much.
"You're still here," Conrad growled at the lady. "Why is that."
"Suit yourself," shrugged Mrs. Blaney, turning away. "I'll be next door if you boys decided you need me."
"We won't," Conrad snarled furiously, his hands clenching into fists as Mrs. Blaney walked away. "She's a nightmare," he groaned after she disappeared, dropping one hand onto his face, his glasses getting unceremoniously shoved aside. Hanna laughed nervously, tapping his fingers together.
"Errr, sorry…" But Conrad didn't seem to hear him.
"I'd almost rather be back with the Vamipres."
"Yeah, I know…" Hanna froze mid-sentence, excitement lighting his face. "Vampires!" He jumped forward, right in front of Corad, who had been in the process of wiping some sluggish blood of an "x" shaped cut on his arm. "Are they still here?" Conrad jerked back in surprise.
"Someone needs to calm the hell down." Then he grimaced. "Sorry, I just…" Hanna, still grinning, shook his head.
"No worries." He waved his hand in Zombie's general direction. "Me and my partner will take good care of ya!" Conrad lightly touched a gash on his head, eyeing the drying blood that was left on the tips of his fingers.
"Great, thank you. I need-gyuh!" His almost strangled yelp at the sight of Zombie made Hanna frown.
"'Gyuh?'" he inquired. "Is that slang…?"
"Sorry," Zombie apologized, rather dully, one eye brow raised at Conrad's reaction.
"N-no!" Conrad laughed nervously. "You're fine. I'm…ah…you're…"
"Dead," Zombie finished, nodding slightly. "It's okay. I think I'm fairly fresh." He thought for a moment. "Like…only a decade of rot."
"Err, great?" Conrad looked hesitant, and a little disgusted. "No, I mean you look…good. For ten years of decomposing. Really."
"So," Hanna interrupted. "What ails ya?" He took in Conrad's battered appearance. His red shirt was torn from the left side of the collar down almost the bottom hem, leaving the left side of his chest, and his whole left arm, completely exposed. Most of the skin was covered in red welts and deep scratches, accompanied by the occasional, painful looking bruise. His dark pants looked mostly unscathed, except for the drying spatters of blood.
"Well," Conrad began uneasily. "I'm pretty sure I have Vampires in my place. Or one, at least." He tapped his fingers together almost awkwardly.
"Ooo." Hanna sounded nothing short of ecstatically excited. "Do they look vicious?"
"Well, he's kind of round...and about…yea big…" Conrad motioned with his hands to form a small, rounded shape in the air. "Kinda furry…" Hanna glanced up at Zombie, his eyebrows raised. Then he looked back at Conrad, pointing at the hands he was still motioning with.
"Are you sure you weren't attacked by an angry kitten? It's uh…a common mix up."
"He was in bat form!" Conrad nearly shouted, dropping his hands.
"Wait…" mused Hanna, smirking slightly, once again doing a scan of Conrad's beat-up appearance. "Are you saying a bat did this to you?"
"Well, yea, but he was vicious," Conrad said defensively. "…terrible…" Zombie frowned slightly, envisioning a hellish bat with many, many rows of long, needle sharp teeth, glowing red eyes, pointed horns, and tattered, dirty brown wings. Hanna, on the other hand, pictured a rounded, grey-furred, small-fanged, almost cuddle-able looking bat.
"Heh." He grinned. "Sweet." He snickered slightly, trying to hide it behind his hand.
"Are you laughing?" raged Conrad, raising his hands into fists like he was going to fight with Hanna.
"No," Hanna assured him forcefully, still snickering, raising his hands in a pacifying gesture.
"Sure." Conrad looked sulky. "Whatever. So you gonna help me, or not?"
"Well," Hanna started smoothly. "Our prices start at a flat fee of—"
"I don't care mow much it costs," Conrad spat flatly, his hands still in fists though held rigidly at his sides, his shoulder's slumping. Hanna made an odd noise, looking ready to jump on Conrad, another grin on his face.
"Sweetest thing a man has ever said to me!"
Achenleck's condo was on the artsy side of town.
"Whoa, this place is totally trashed," Hanna whistled, scanning the dim room.
Quite nice, actually.
A stark contrast to Hanna's complex,
which barely clings to the memory of being a building,
entirely composed of a series of leaning walls and broken windows.
But I digress.
"Man, that bat must be serious business," Hanna continued, stepping a little farther into the room. There were shredded pillows scattered around the room, and the rug under the tipped-over coffee table was rumpled and folded under itself. There were deep scratches in the back of the sofa and across part of the walls. "Look at those claw marks." He crossed his arms, still looking unexplainably happy. "This is going to be amazing." He pulled a hammer out of his belt and examined the top, which was adorned with an odd, red-glowing symbol. "Hey, it's lit! Guess you were right, after all!"
"What?" Conrad looked skeptical. "Why? What does it mean?"
"It means it's somewhere close," snickered Hanna, grinning.
"Hanna." Zombie placed a hand on the red-head's shoulder. "Look up." All of them looked up to see a good sized bat with dark fur hanging from the ceiling, it's leathery wings folded around it's body, its narrowed purple eyes scowling at them from it's upside down position.
"What." It glared at them, as if expecting them to leave.
"Shoo!" shouted Conrad, flailing his fists in the bat's direction. "Piss off!"
"Aw, hell," sighed the bat sighed grumpily. "The twat returns."
"Ooh," whistled Hanna. "Sassy bat." Carefully lowering his hammer to his side, he looked up at the bat, smiling bravely. "Hey, Mister Vampire Bat, sir—"
"Ma'am." Hanna paused, and blinked up at the bat. It scowled even deeper. "I'm a girl." Hanna blinked again.
"Oh." He frowned slightly. "Sorry, it's hard to tell the difference…" He put a hand on his chin, frowning. "Not to say that all bats look the same…"
"Ohmygod!" vented Conrad, looking like he was resisting the urge to shake Hanna. "This isn't bat fucking sensitivity training!"
"Anyways, ma'am," Hanna continued, opening his arms in a peaceful gesture. "You've made roost in my friend's home, and—"
"Look," the bat stated flatly, point at him with a sharp claw. "You're some halfwit who thinks he can take on Vampires with a hammer, a pussy, and a zombie. I'm not exactly threatened." She snorted. "And I have better things to do so go away."
"Whoa," breathed Hanna as Zombie raised an eyebrow and a vicious scowl crossed Conrad's face. Hanna turned to face him, a look of uneasy pity on his face. "She just called you a pussy. Sorry, dude." Conrad's angry stare was then directed to Hanna.
"Yes, Mr. Cross," he growled. "I know. I was there." Hanna turned his attention back to the bat, lightly tapping the side of his hammer against his thigh.
"While I'd hate to interrupt your hanging upside down time, this isn't really your home."
Hanna still wanted to reason with her.
I confess that I was surprised—
I was fairly sure he had just come to smash it.
"Why are you here, anyways?" Hanna continued, eyeing the bat. "And as a bat too…" She didn't say anything for a moment, then released her hold on the ceiling and fluttered down to land on his shoulder.
"I'll tell you what, little boy—" she began in a purr, her lips pulled back in a smile, revealing her sharp white teeth. "You seem like the type of guy who'd like a good deal." She rested one of her tiny, clawed hands on his cheek. "You do something for me…and I'll get out of your friend's house. What do you say?" She paused, watching Hanna's contemplative expression. "Everybody wins…"
"Why should we help you?" Conrad interjected with a hiss, leaning his face in close to the bat.
"Not your concern," she huffed, placing her clawed hands on his face. "In fact, I'd rather you leave…or I'll put a new scar on your ugly face."
"No way," Conrad growled, his hands clenched into fists again. "We came back to put you in your place, not take orders. There's no way I'm leaving."
A few moments and a couple pained shouts later, Zombie and Conrad sat waiting outside the door, the latter's face scored by three bloody scratches.
"I hate that bat."
On the other side of the door, Hanna was on his hands a knees, a black marker in his hand, an uneasy expression on his face, and he was scrawling a large, curving symbol on the floor with a thick black marker. Slowly the black mark on the floor started to glow a vibrant, hot pink, clearly illuminating the devilish grin on the bat's face. Then there was an explosion of the pink light, making Conrad leap away from the door as it shot out from under the crack beneath it with a harsh hiss.
"The hell?" he yelped. Zombie shuffled to the side slightly, looking startled and a little worried. On the other side of the door, the bat's form was shifting and writing, growing and stretching until an extremely pale woman stood in its place, her long, wavy, dark purple hair settling around her shoulders.
"You actually know your stuff, Mr. Cross." She licked her purple lips, smirking, and narrowed her red eyes. "Color me surprised."
"Mr. Cross!" Conrad shouted, rattling the handle of the door as the pink light faded. "Let me in! It's my own damn-" He was cut off by his own surprised grunt of pain as the door was yanked open and he toppled forward, skidding forward on his face, his glasses flying off.
"Well, aren't you quite the catch," purred the woman from where she stood by the door, eyeing Conrad where he lay stunned, his behind sticking up in the air as he fumbled blindly with one hand for his glasses. She fingered the bottom edge of what looked like a long, dark green jacket that served as her only article of clothing, leaving most of her long, slender legs exposed. Zombie stepped into the room more carefully than their client, scanning it for his employer, who he quickly spotted. Hanna was on his hands and knees, one hand over his face. On closer inspection, Zombie saw that his skinny body was shaking, his left arm barely supporting him.
"Hanna?" he began cautiously, worrying etched into his usually rather-expressionless face. "Are you…?" He stopped as Hanna's shoulders convulsed and his hand quickly moved away from his face, a sudden torrent of bright crimson blood leaping over his tongue and spewing onto the wooden floor beneath him, forming a splattered puddle. "Hanna!" The red-head had collapsed forward next to the puddle of his own regurgitated blood and Zombie darted forward, ready to help his employer to his feet or give him some kind of support if he could. "What happ-" Then the woman was right in front of him, pulling back her fist. Faster than he could follow, she struck, slamming her rock-hard knuckles into his jaw.
I thought that being dead would mean that I would not feel pain.
It was more shocking than anything actually.
Zombie staggered back, stunned and reeling, then collected himself and his balance, and landed a snapping kick to the woman's chin, sending her flying.
It's okay, though.
She won't take me by surprise twice.
Zombie and the woman darted around in a vicious dance, launching blows towards each other's heads and necks. The woman's deep purple hair swirled around her as she moved, never getting in the way, and she bared her fanged teeth in a snarl, her red eyes narrowed. Zombie's expression remained the same, one of determined focus. The woman had hurt his employer, his partner. He wasn't about to let her get away with that.
"Congratulations," she finally snarled as Zombie caught her left arm by the wrist in mid-strike. "You've managed to be a huge pain in the ass, despite being a rotted corpse!" On the last, fury-laden word, she wrenched her arm back, ripping Zombie's off just above the elbow with a nasty popping sound. With a fierce punch to his gut, she slammed Zombie into the floor, the fingers of his detached arm still wrapped around her other wrist.
Yeah.
Not my finest hour.
"Forgive the brutality, dear," she sneered. "I assure you, it's not per—" She was cut off by Conrad snapping a belt tightly around her neck, pulling her up against his body so she couldn't struggle free from the strangle hold.
"Oh, honey," she laughed. "I'm a Vampire. I don't breathe."
"Oh." Conrad suddenly looked much less brave than he had a moment ago. "Yeah. Could we—" He yelped in pain as she jerked her bare foot up to slam painfully between his legs.
"The effort was cute, though." Zombie lurched to his hands and knees, staring forlornly at his detached arm-which had fallen free of the Vampire-, then jerked his head up at the sound of a wet, hacking cough from Hanna. The red-head had pulled himself to his hands and knees, his face horribly pale, and he was stretching one hand out to the Vampire and she slung the stunned Conrad over her shoulder.
"W-wait!" His voice was strained. "Where are you taking him?"
"I'm starving, sweetheart," she purred, grinning, her fangs clearly visible even in the dim light. "Try to understand…I'll remember the favor, though." She waved at them, then leapt out the window, darting up instead of falling down. Hanna stumbled to his feet, sidestepping his own puddle of blood, and ran to the window, sticking his head and shoulders out the frame. He cursed and ducked back inside.
"The roof!" he shouted. Zombie got to his feet, holding his severed arm in his other hand. "Let's gogogo! The roof!"
In retrospect, I had expected our first "case"
to have gone
much, much smoother.
Hanna shoved the roof's door open with his shoulder and jumped out, quickly scanning the scene for the Vampire. She was nowhere in sight. Instead, the body of Conrad lay slumped against the low, protective wall that ran around the edge of the roof, his skin a pale blue-ish grey.
"Shit." It was all he could think to say as he examined the two bloody puncture marks in the side of Conrad's neck. He shook his head, doing another scan of the roof. "Look out. Just cos you don't see her doesn't mean she's not around." Zombie did his own scan of the roof, trying to ignore Conrad's dead body.
"Well, fuck!" Hanna yelped, hearing a hiss behind him and turning to find the Vampire dropping down on him from above, her sharp-nailed hands extended toward him. She grabbed his wrists and slammed him onto his back, snarling at him.
"Tell me why you reek, Mr. Cross," she spat, her face just inches from Hanna's. He cringed away from the bloody smell of her breath.
"Kind of a bad time to making jabs at my personal hygiene, don'tcha think?"
"Shut up!" she growled. "You smell of death but are clearly alive." Hanna let his eyes wander to the sight of Zombie creeping up behind her, hammer in hand, then snapped his attention back to her. "You're not just a stupid, prepubescent brat, are you?" Then she threw her head back, grunting in pain as Zombie slammed the sharp end of the hammer into the back of her shoulder blade, an arc of blood splattering across Hanna's face, smearing his glasses. The Vampire lurched off him, one hand over her wound, and staggered away. Hanna tried to wipe the blood off his face, but when his eye—brilliantly blue in the light of the signs on other buildings—saw the blood on his hand, he froze.
"Wait." Then he jumped to his feet, waving his arms at Zombie. "Throw me the hammer!" His voice was desperate, almost panicked. So Zombie threw it to Hanna, who caught it expertly in one hand.
It didn't occur to me that he wanted the thing for the blood,
and not for an actual weapon.
"Please be enough," Hanna breathed, kneeling down beside Conrad's body and wiping as much blood as he could off the hammer and onto his fingers. Slipping his two fingers into Conrad's slightly open mouth, he smeared the blood across Conrad's tongue and the roof of his mouth. "This is your ticket outta death…" He jammed his fingers farther down Conrad's throat, spreading the blood wherever he could. "You have to fucking take it!" His face was contorted in a scowl of determination, then he pulled his hand back and his shoulders slumped as Zombie walked up behind him, looking down at his depressed partner and their dead client. "I'm sorry." Hanna's voice was dull, quiet. Zombie could hear the tones of guilt in it. "This was all pretty avoidable, wasn't it?" He sighed. "Your arm. Mr. Achenleck." He bowed his head. "God. Mr. Achenleck. I hope this works. It needs to." He looked down at Conrad. "Come back…even if it's just to punch me in the fa—" His jaw was forcefully snapped shut by Conrad's fist, when it came swooping up from the ground and punched him in the chin. Hanna blinked, reeling, then grinned, excitement slowly flooding back through his system.
"Yes!" he shouted as Conrad sat up, rubbing his face. "You can do it again, if you want!"
"Why do I feel like a car hit me and backed over me again?" Conrad groaned, looking woozy, his eyes unfocused. He swayed slightly, trying to meet Hanna's gaze. "And that it's your fault somehow?" He staggered to his feet.
"It is!" came Hanna's enthusiastic reply as he wrapped his arms around Conrad, much to the dazed man's alarm. "But you're back, oh god. Yes!" Then he sighed, still not letting go of the man. "I'm so sorry." He pulled back, still grinning in relief. "Also, ummm…you're a Vampire now."
"What?" Conrad looked down at his skin, which was still a pale, dead blue in the light of the signs.
When the client is technically dead by the end of the case,
I believe it becomes classified as a 'bust'.
However…
Some things happen for a reason.
"Where did the Vampire go?" Zombie asked cautiously as Conrad staggered and grabbed Hanna's wrist for support. "The first one."
"Oh." Hanna looked around nervously. "She must have run off after you nailed her. But she'll probably be back." Conrad let go of Hanna and stooped to pick up his fallen glasses, placing them securely back on his face, still swaying slightly. Hanna laughed nervously, facing him. "Especially since, umm…she's your sire now." Hanna watched Conrad's single fang flash slightly in the light when he moved. He snorted, still attempting to keep his balance.
"There's no way I can be a Vampire," he scoffed. "I still feel like shit and you don't seem…whoa…" He staggered back, where Zombie caught him carefully with his remaining arm. "…appetizing at all." He looked up at Zombie. "Uh, thanks, Mr. Zuh-Zombie?" His words were starting to slur together. "Is that your name?"
It's just pretty much impossible for us to tell when it does,
so we just learn to cope instead.
"He doesn't remember his name," Hanna said quickly, nodding at Zombie as Conrad got his feet steadily under him. "Look, not to press the issue, but you really should eat." Conrad just stared at him. "Yanno, blood." Suddenly Conrad gagged, covering his mouth and nose with his hand and turning away.
"Ugh. What smells dead?"
"Stop changing the subject," Hanna sighed, frowning slightly. Conrad rounded on him.
"Is that you?" His face bore a mix of outrage and disgust. Hanna turned away, scowling, and muttered,
"It must be because I use magic and it taintsmybloodbut anyways!" He huffed a sigh, then turned to Conrad as if he hadn't said anything. "Let's go get you some food!" He grabbed Conrad's wrist and dragged him, stumbling, behind him.
"I hope you mean a burgu—ahahh stop touching me!"
And so we plunged a little deeper into Hanna's world that day.
"It's just down this way a little farther!" Hanna called, pointed down into a shadowy, dark alleyway, grinning broadly.
"What?" scoffed Conrad. "This looks like a dead end alley. I have to admit, I'm not very comfortable with where this is going."
"Don't worry!" Hanna assured him. "I'm taking you to a doctor first." He paused. "Okay, well. He's not really technically a doctor. He's actually a drop out. Aannnd he's not certified or anything, but he's not too bad!" He laughed shortly, a little awkwardly. Conrad just stared at him. Hanna stared back. "Whu-what's wrong?" Conrad groaned.
"The fact that you must ask makes it even worse…"
Hanna picked the third door that we came to in that alleyway.
"Worth?" Hanna called, pushing the door open and poking his blood-splattered head inside. "You here?" He paused. "You're always here."
I'm sure it wasn't magical,
but it was definitely one of those things you had to know where to look
in order to find it.
"Hanna!" chuckled the skinny man inside from where he was tipping his rickety wooden chair back onto two legs. He had short, scruffy blond hair and a mess of grey stubble across his chin and cheeks. His eyes were rather sunken into his pale, pointed face, and under them were heavy black shadows. He was dressed in a long white coat with a ruffled fur trim around the neck, with a black shirt underneath. He had a big, white, "x" shaped bandage on the side of his forehead. He grinned, waggling a lit cigarette between his crooked teeth. "Beat up 'gain I see." He laughed. "I missed ya!"
"Err, I missed you too," Hanna said quickly. "Big favor to ask though." He pointed behind him as Conrad walked up, followed by Zombie. "My friend needs to eat, and—"
"What?" grunted the man. "Eat? I'm not a fuckin' Micky Dees, Hanna. I'm a busy man and a dah—" He froze. "Shit." His eyes scanned Hanna's two companions. "Christ, Hanna. You killed them."
"I-I did not!" Hanna exclaimed hurriedly, walking in to the dingy, sketchy little room. His two companions followed slowly, Conrad looking less blue and more of a paper white in proper light. The man snorted a laugh and stood up, slapping his hands down on his desk.
"Oohoh! You gone rogue on me now?" He grinned, almost evilly. "Heh, a necromancer." He shook his finger. "Hanna. How unlike you."
"Let's get this straight, whoever you are," Conrad growled, stalking forward and jabbing the man in the chest with one finger. "I am not dead!" The man frowned, then reached out one hand and set it on Conrad's half-bare chest. "What the—"
"Hmm." He wiggled his cigarette and raised an eyebrow, watching Conrad as he pulled his hand back. "Interesting. No heart beat. Hm. As a doctor, I hate to tell ya, but…" He got right up in Conrad's face. "Yer fuckin' dead ya sorry sob!"
"You're not a doctor!" Conrad shouted back. "You're a hack with head trauma!"
"Err, we'll let Worth handle Mr. Achenleck for now," Hana said, pulling a needle and some heavy surgical thread out of a medical pack he'd pulled from by the wall. He readied the thread, then took Zombie's detached arm and started carefully sewing it back on. "D-does this hurt?"
"Not horribly." Zombie kept his eyes trained on Hanna's hands as they sewed his arm back on. Hanna gave a half smile, pushing his bloody glasses up onto his head.
"I would have to say you're lying, but…"
"I don't see the point in lying."
"Heh. I thought as much." He stood back to admire his handiwork as Zombie rolled his sleeve back down over the new stitches, neither of them really listening as Worth kept shouting at Conrad. "There. Can you…still move it?" He nudged his glasses back down onto his nose.
"Yes, thank you."
"Naw." Hanna shook his head, casting a glance back at the bickering two; Worth was still yelling and Conrad had his hands over his ears. He looked back up at Zombie, smiling a little sadly. "I fucked up, remember?" He swallowed and looked down, the light reflecting off his glasses making it impossible for Zombie to see his eyes. "I'm really glad you both are…okay." He used the word hesitantly. "I was afraid—"
"Shut up!" Hanna spun around at the feral snarl and saw a pissed Conrad leaping for Worth, mouth open.
"Oh crap." Conrad punched Worth in the nose, the spurt of blood flying through the air and splattering across Conrad's fist as Worth tumbled back and slumped against the wall, scowling.
"I've had it!" Conrad howled. "I don't have to take this shit from you! I—" Then he froze, his bloody hand level with his face.
"Mr. Achenleck!" Hanna squeaked out, darting forward. "W-wait!" Sniffing his bloody finger slightly, he licked the knuckle of his pointer finger before sticking it in his mouth and sucking on it, looking confused.
"Oh my god…" he breathed, yanking the hand out of his mouth and staring at it, appalled. "This is…good?"
"Please, please, please don't eat him," Hanna begged, coming up behind him, looking ready to try and restrain him if he needed to. But Conrad had stuck his fingers back his mouth again, looking somewhat depressed.
"Need a hand?" Zombie asked gently, stepping between Conrad and Worth—who was wiping the blood off his own face—and held his hand out to the kneeling Conrad.
Mr. Achenleck had come to us to clear Vampires from his condo…
But all we managed to really do
was make sure that his place had a
Vampire inhabitant.
Case: Achenlek
Classified
Fuck Up
A/N: Well, there you have it. The first chapter of Hanna Is Not A Boy's Name. I won't pretend that it even comes close to doing the original comic justice, but I tried. Not my best work, I don't think, but I also don't believe that it was horrible. If you enjoyed it, or even if you didn't, I would much appreciate it if you dropped a little review for me. (smile) Even if no one reviews-which would make me sad, but I'd get over it-I will be posting the second chapter as soon as I can. Keep in mind that these chapters are kind of on the longer side, so it could take me a little longer, especially with my Rurouni Kenshin novelization in the works.
Well, that's all for now. Please tell me what you think! (bow)