Can't hit on you if you're already dead!
Summary:
Syaoran's been kidnapped for witnessing a hit-and-run. With his hands, feet, and mouth tied up, the reek of fish, and the lack of oxygen in a trunk, it doesn't help to know that the fattest girl he's always hated is breathing on the back of his neck. Eggghhh…
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:so don't kill me even if I made your favorite character fat. Oh wait, second favorite character, cuz Syao's number one, right?:
"Get in there!"
"Eghh…"
That was the last glimpse of light and fresh air he had before everything turned fuzzily black.
Now he had opened his eyes and was staring at incredible darkness.
He felt strange.
There was some crusty stuff and liquid dribbling down his forehead and nose. He felt as though his eye had been punched out of its socket and that his blood circulation had been cut off from his hands and feet.
Wait, what were these tough ropes?
There was a loud screeching sound and he was suddenly jostled sideways.
"Gowch!" He heard.
Although his head had somewhat collided into something that felt like a ton of brick, he was sure he would have recognized his own voice.
He was pitched sideways again, this time colliding into something that felt like a ton of flesh.
"Gowch!" He heard again.
"Vwahz?" He asked.
"Gowch!" The voice confirmed.
"Vwo var vyou?"
"Emn?"
"Vwo. Var. Vyou??"
"Sackyouraw."
"Vwhat vah mell?"
And a series of garbled language continued.
He sniffed. Something stunk, and it wasn't just the rotten fish and onions now.
"Svwory."
Ugh. Holy cow that ton of flesh had to release the worst gas bomb on him now. Here! In this enclosed space with already a minimum amount of oxygen!
Wait a minute…this stink! This fart! Where did he know it?
Suddenly, the garbled "Sackyouraw" made sense.
Oh sweet Jesus, father of the holy son, holy trinity, the gaddamn infinitely infinite pouch of doraemon!
It was Kinomoto Sakura.
The fattest, stinkiest, ugliest girl he knew since preschool.
And with all the precious breath he had saved from inhaling the stink he screamed…
its short. its stinky. its not what you expected. yay!! sakura has gained weight at last! now all us jealous syaorankunlovegirlfans can have him!
jk, im not a fan but ive recently been surrounded by some. someone said, "I wish sakura was freaking fat so syaoran wouldn't love her and he could be mine. Mine."
Which, I'm glad he's not, because he'd have to go through some bizarre fantasies of hers…well, that's what fanfics are for, right? gurgle.
urm, so yah, a random random random blurbiness I randomly thought of. prolly will never continue cuz its a stupid plot nobody will like. pfft, and is incredibly short. must go back to studying...