I want to thank Chen (Hosimiya Mukuro) for translating this story into Chinese and posting it in Baidu Tieba.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this fanfic. Valve owns Dota 2.
Beauty and the Butcher
The Butcher had never thought he would fall in love.
His past hundred years or so were spent shuffling around the Endless Fields of Carnage, picking up the corpses strewn everywhere and chopping them into pieces for the carrion vultures. Being a patchwork of body parts himself, he was very much at home with his job.
He had no idea who created him, neither did he care to find out. It did occur to him that he could have once been a human, but he had no recollection whatsoever of living as one. What kept him going at his job were its perks - unlimited food for his ravenous appetite, the delight of chomping on flesh, guts, cartilage, filling his bulging belly till it literally burst at the seams. Occasionally, he would get a better treat: the warm, living flesh of the wandering humans who couldn't dodge his chain hook. He ate his victims raw, without using any seasoning, for their fear made their blood a little tangy. Everyone fled at the horrific sight of the Butcher; his only friends were the vultures.
Not that it mattered to him. He didn't need anyone to talk to, and sleep was also not necessary, although he usually went into a restful phase throughout the day. When he woke up, he would repeat his daily routine of dismembering, disembowelling and cannibalizing. Fresh meat was the only thing he craved.
Until he met Rylai.
Before then, the Butcher had never given much thought about his looks. Not even when his newly-acquired foot soldiers - or creeps, as they were called - recoiled in disgust when they saw him, asking one another why such a nightmare-inducing figure would be recruited into the Radiant team. Even the Butcher himself was not sure why and how he had gotten involved in this war, and what exactly he was fighting for. He had only woken up one fine day to find himself lying on grass next to a fountain, staring up at the grinning face of a bearded blacksmith.
It was Rylai who had made him feel self-conscious for the first time. He recalled his first encounter with her: she had been sitting under one of those cherry blossom trees decorating the mystical structure known as the Ancient, patiently working. The Butcher had ventured closer and saw that she was crafting magical wards using ice and the eyeballs of dead creeps.
He had felt confused while watching her - this was the first human that he had no urge to eat. She was too beautiful. The sunlight cast shadows of her long eyelashes on her cheeks, and flaxen locks framed her delicate face and fell over her shoulders in flowing waves, blending in with her porcelain complexion and her fur coat. All he had wanted to do was to touch her hair to feel how soft it was.
Noticing him, Rylai had looked up and regarded him unflinchingly.
"Welcome to the team. I'm Rylai from Icewrack," she said in a quiet but steady voice, her sapphire eyes sparkling with humour and just a hint of ruthlessness.
The Butcher didn't know how to respond; no one had ever formally introduced themselves to him. After a few seconds of awkward silence, he pronounced her name hesitantly, "Ry...lai?"
"Just call me the Crystal Maiden," she smiled reservedly, drawing attention to her high cheekbones and full lips, which made her look elegant, yet sensuous. "And you're?" she inquired.
He suddenly became conscious of his own stench and pulled his bloody apron up in a vain attempt to cover his ripped-open stomach. The flies hovering around his head became annoying, and he swatted at them as he pondered over the question for a while. Finally, he gave a resigned shrug. He didn't remember having a name; this was the first time anyone had asked for it.
"You don't have a name?" Crystal Maiden raised her brows, her deep blue eyes widening. Putting a finger to her lips, she sized him up for a few moments and then spoke with faint amusement. "Fine. Let's call you Pudge then."
He did not mind the name, and he thought it suited him very well. And so Pudge he became. These days, he still enjoyed feasting - the grub was tastier than ever, as he no longer had to chow down corpses, but hunted live enemy "heroes". Never mind that these were non-humanoid - animals and creepy-crawlies - they added an exotic touch to his menu. But most of the time, his thoughts were occupied by Rylai.
Her powers fascinated him. She brought the beauty of winter with her wherever she walked, and unleashed its cruelty upon her assailants. Pudge had never seen anyone who could effortlessly create ice out of thin air. She fashioned all kinds of things with the ice, including her own jewellery. She looked delicate as a flower, but most of the Dire had learnt not to take her lightly, having lost some limbs and digits when they were caught in the blizzard she'd summoned. Her level of intelligence far exceeded that of everyone else, and so, she spent whatever free time she had helping her teammates to improve their own magical abilities.
She was everything he wasn't. She was his goddess.
"Rawwwrrrr!" A savage growl shook Pudge out of his reverie, causing him to almost give away his location. He was supposed to stay well hidden behind some trees in Rylai's lane, waiting for an unsuspecting enemy to get into a vulnerable spot for his hook, but his eyes had been glued to her all this while. At the moment, her brows were furrowed with intense concentration as she prepared to cast a spell. His gaze shifted to her attacker.
A bear that looked like it was fuelled by pure rage was charging at her. With an elegant flick of her staff, she encased the brute in a block of ice, temporarily nullifying its momentum and paralyzing it. The bear would remain immobilized for a few seconds before its natural warmth dispelled the effect.
Pudge grabbed his meat hook and squinted through the trees, taking aim at the bear. He was about to strike when he heard a rustling of leaves nearby. Turning around, he saw a strange figure emerging from the fog: it looked like a man and a deer fused together, with malevolent yellow eyes and skin as blue as Rylai's dress.
The ground under Pudge cracked, causing him to stumble, but he managed to regain his balance quickly. His hook flew straight out and pierced the deer-man's chest, tearing bits of its flesh. A waft of deer meat drifted towards the butcher, tingling his nose and making his stomach rumble. An easy dinner for him.
"Get over here!" Pudge yanked his prey back and brought his huge cleaver crashing down on it. "Ah, fresh meat," he chuckled, as metal connected with bone and muscle. He carved out a chunk from the deer's shoulder and sank his teeth into it. The flesh tasted disappointingly bitter, and after gobbling up the skinny Leshrac in a few seconds, Pudge was still unsatisfied. Licking his lips, he looked up from the carcass only to be greeted by the ferocious bear who was after Rylai.
"RAWWWRRR!" The hulking figure of Ursa stomped heavily, tearing at the butcher with its shiny claws. Pudge felt the ground shake and struggled to maintain his balance, brandishing his cleaver in defense. A loud belch escaped from him and he started releasing his putrid waste gases from every pore of his body. The fumes began to melt the bear's thick hide, slowing its movements a little. Pudge fought as bravely as he could, but a few swift swipes were all Ursa needed to maul him into oblivion.
Pudge lay in a bloated heap on the grass.
When he regained consciousness, he found himself in total darkness, his limbs seemingly restrained by unseen chains. His body felt light as a feather, his feet dangled in the air, and the pains he felt from his wounds had disappeared. Slowly, he realized he was in a kind of limbo, an empty space, a dimension between life and death. The only thing he could do was to patiently wait to be revived.
While he was waiting, he watched, through a magical mirror in front of him, what went on in the battlefield.
Rylai was still there, unscathed.
"Sorry Pudge, my spells weren't ready," she spoke, as if knowing he could hear her. An unfamiliar, warm feeling arose inside of him. She could have run, but instead, she had hung around to try to help him.
Now, the wounded but furious Ursa was returning to its original target, a savage growl emerging from its throat. Rylai launched two of her frost spells at it, and, failing to kill it, spun around and ran for her life. The frail maiden was, however, unable to outrun a predator from the wild, and she soon ran out of breath. Ursa was only a foot away from her now.
"Fear not, Milady!" A resonant voice rang out. Rylai glanced back to see a blinding ray of light, enveloping her, and this was followed by the resounding thud of a hammer on the back of the bear's head. Ursa took an unsteady step forward and finally keeled over dead. Behind him stood a tall, blond paladin dressed in ceremonial red-and-white armour, holding up his enormous golden hammer triumphantly.
"More enemies are coming. Let us retreat to a safer place," Purist Thunderwrath, the Omniknight urged as he reached out and took Rylai's hand protectively.
"Thank you very much, Purist. I can walk by myself," Rylai said politely and withdrew her hand, to the knight's disappointment.
After what seemed like eternity, Pudge's feet touched the soft overgrown grass as he re-materialized at the fountain. Catching a glimpse of his own reflection in the water, he smiled wryly as he thought of how ridiculous his quest for love was. If Rylai rejected even the Omniknight, what made him think a smelly, obese monster like him had a chance?
They were not the only ones smitten with her, he knew. There was also the red-skinned beefcake Mogul Khan, who perpetually tried to impress her with his loud taunts and aggressive fighting style. He was not so sure about the fifth member, Kardel, an eccentric midget who enjoyed getting himself drunk at the tavern, but it wasn't surprising if he, too, was enamored with her beauty.
And what did he know about Rylai? Even her age was a mystery to him. She looked about nineteen years old, but her calm and poised behaviour suggested she wasn't as young as she appeared. No one knew the true thoughts and feelings of the mistress of the frozen arts, for she maintained aloof from all kinds of attempts to get close to her.
Still, he had to make sure his goddess was safe. Looking around, he caught sight of her on the Dire side of the river. Hastily purchasing a magic scroll, he read off it and was teleported instantly to the middle tower and lumbered towards her direction.
She was bending down to plant a sentry ward, with Purist lingering nearby watching out for enemies. She carried out this task at regular intervals, as the ice preserving the eyeballs melted after a short while. Just as the ward began to illuminate its surroundings, the maiden and the paladin suddenly found themselves choking in a shroud of smoke. A figure appeared out of nowhere and stabbed Rylai in the back, triggering a grimace of pain. The two coughed and sputtered as they stumbled out of the noxious smoke.
Pudge reacted quickly, launching his trusty meat hook towards Rylai. The hook caught her sleeve and she flew backwards awkwardly, landing just in front of Pudge. She stumbled a little and fell against his bulging belly. It was the first time their bodies touched. She smelled of fresh blood, oozing profusely from her knife wound. Usually, that smell would have made Pudge salivate, but at this moment, he had no appetite. Rylai had just narrowly escaped death, and was badly injured. His first thought was to escort her to a safe place.
"I- I'll carry you back," Pudge mumbled as he gathered her up with his meaty arms, and then, thinking she might find the offer offensive, added, "if you don't mind…" It felt alien to him, speaking in such a civilized manner.
Rylai replied with a grateful nod. The Crystal Maiden's translucent skin had grown even paler, her eyelashes fluttered closed, and breathing seemed to require more effort with every breath. Her body felt light, and seemed to lack the warmth of a normal human. Pudge felt himself even beginning to shiver, and hoped that her lower body temperature was just her natural state. Glancing at her face, the butcher recalled the hundreds, thousands of corpses he had lugged around. This one was different. A twinge of fear crept into him. Even though her death would not be permanent, still, he could not bear to imagine her as one of those lifeless cadavers.
Pudge turned his head and saw more enemies appearing out of the fog, around the river, some advancing towards them. There was a gigantic scorpion with a nasty stinger and also a green reptilian creature with venom dripping from its fangs. He willed his pudgy legs to carry him back as fast as they could, hoping that the clanging sound of his steel chains would not draw attention from those critters.
As they stepped into their base, an announcement rang out through the battlefield that Axe had killed the Stealth Assassin who had stabbed Rylai. There had been a clash of some sorts, with a number of casualties on both sides, but no deaths among the Radiant due to the protection from the Omniknight's Guardian Angel.
Pudge trudged towards the fountain and laid Rylai down on the grass as gently as he could. Looking at her blood-soaked coat, he scratched the coarse stitch holding his forehead together, hesitating as to what he should do next. His teammates were entering the base. Axe and Purist looked rather beaten up, but were in good spirits. Kardel headed straight to the blacksmith's, where he started haggling over some weapons in his nasal voice.
"Well done, my friend!" Mogul Khan shouted, thumping Purist on the back. "Axe is grateful for your help!"
"The Omniscience never fails," Purist nodded solemnly, before his forehead creased into a frown. "But Rylai is hurt. I failed to protect her."
"Don't worry, Fatty's with her," Khan replied with a deep-throated laugh while swinging his over-sized axe over his shoulder.
Pudge stared at the Oglodi barbarian, whose body was stacked with massive, rippling muscles, wondering for a moment if his flesh tasted better barbecued than raw. Turning his attention to Rylai again, he considered offering her a hand, but decided not to as he thought she would reject it. Rylai grabbed the edge of the fountain and pulled herself up with some difficulty. She scooped some of the water and poured it into her mouth. As she drank, her wounds healed up and the color returned to her cheeks. Pudge noticed that her purse had fallen out. He peered into it and saw that there were only ten gold coins and a couple of ironwood branches inside. Indeed, she possessed very little, wearing only a ring of regeneration and a bracer, and wielding a simple staff of wizardry.
Pudge reached into his own grubby cloth bag, dug out some gold coins and tried to drop them into Rylai's pouch, but she pushed his hand away.
"Don't be silly," she admonished him like a teacher to a young schoolboy. "I can't use your currency."
"Oh," Pudge grinned sheepishly, showing misshapen and decayed teeth, just before the booming voice of the Omniknight interrupted them.
"Get your filthy hands off her!" Purist warned, glowering at Pudge, who returned him a confused look. "I am the official healer here, and I am the only one who can lay hands on her," he declared.
"Cool it," Rylai said. "He was just trying to help."
"Are you alright, Milady?" the Omniknight towered over Rylai possessively, completely ignoring Pudge. "Fear not, I will cleanse and purify you of the dirt from that abomination."
"I'm at full health, thank you," Rylai declined. "I drank the fountain water."
Feeling out of place, as usual, Pudge retreated silently. While he was shuffling out of the base towards the battlefield, his ears picked up the whispers of the creeps marching out of the barracks. He knew they must be gossiping about him, mocking him again.
"Can you believe it? That disgusting pile of blubber has the hots for our ice princess," He overheard one of them saying.
"He needs major, major plastic surgery!" Another one exclaimed, cackling nervously.
"Don't touch him! You'll get infected!"
"Ewwww!"
Pudge paused in his steps. Flinging his meat hook, he caught one of the gossipers – a scrawny, novice spell-caster, dragged him over and scowled at him. The poor creep shrieked, wriggled out of his grasp and scuttled away in fright.
The sun was setting. Loneliness, an idea once foreign to him before he joined the Radiant, crept into him. Hearing shouts from Axe reminding everyone that enemies needed killing, Pudge stole one more glance at Rylai and sighed wistfully before setting off for the battlefield again. Love would forever be out of his grasp. He was neither a knight in shining armor, nor a former army general who was the chiseled epitome of manliness. Even the puny Kardel had nice, snazzy gear to impress her with - his new rifle emitted lightning.
What did he have? Nothing, not even a beating heart.
The rumble in his bottomless pit of a stomach turned his thoughts to happier things. What would he have tonight? Having tasted most of the Dire heroes – the scorpion's flesh was creamy underneath its exoskeleton, the reptile tasted a little acidic, and the bear's meat was rich and chewy - he decided on goat meat.
Food was still his best friend, his most reliable source of comfort.