Once upon a time about two years, one month, four days, 17 hours, 23 minutes and 12 seconds ago there was a man.
Now this man was not like every other Billy Bob Jo man you see walking around the street. Well, maybe in some ways he was, but in others he most definitely was not!
You see, this man had gotten his on his head while he was a baby, a very nasty nasty hit that resulted in much chibi crying, but that's another story. After this very nasty nasty hit upon his poor chibified silver haired head this man got something going wrong inside his head. So that night he did very evil evil and nasty things that shall not be mentioned here for this story is only about semi-kinda nice things, if you think about it right.
After he had done those very evil evil things he got a name, because he was a special little boy and was not named when he was a chibi, like most people. His name was Farfie Warfie Narfiekuns. Although he denied that name and said that it didn't hurt God enough, though some people would debate that such a strangely nutty and hard to spell name can be very painful. Nonetheless the man then began calling himself Farfarello, but since this writer believes that name is very nasty and not nice she shall call him Farfie Warfie Narfiekuns.
One day Farfie Warfie, as he shall now be called, was having much fun bouncing around within his specialized padded cell. It has glittery plasticy bouncy walls that made him giggle like a hyper school girl when he bounced around upon them. Once h was all done bouncing like a nice and happy Farfie Warfie he decided to sit down and lick some of his patented knifesicles.
Now ever seen Farfie Warfie was little and got bonked on his head in that oh so horrible incident he didn't feel any sorts of hurtness, which was good for him for he never cried again. He also discovered the most wonderful of wonderful things, that knives were tasty to lick! Since that day he made himself nummy yummy knifesicles so that he would have fun licking them all the time. He had tried all sorts of different flavors upon his knifesicles. His most favorite of favoritest was the grape, sushi, and cucumber flavored knifesicles.
Upon this very special day a wonderful idea came to Farfie Warfie's poor misused head. He decided that he would share the joy of his super nummy flavored knifesicles with everyone else within the whole wide world. Since knifesicles tasted so nummilicious to Farfie Warfie he decided that God must hate them, which just gave Farfie Warfie all the more reason to start his brand knew knifesicle stand.
So once his idea was formed Farfie Warfie hop hop hop hoppitied out of his sparkly padded cell. He quickly found the meany nasty bossy man who was always bossying him around. That man's name was Brad and Farfie Warfie suspected that he had also been bonked upon his head when he was just a little widdle chibi. Farfie Warfie also suspected Brad of sleeping with strange orange haired German men, but that wasn't important to the story of Farfie Warfie's very most important knifesicle stand.
Farfie Warfie was forced to beg and plead and ask and question and want and all those other nice words that are used when you're telling someone what you want. Eventually Farfie Warfie managed to convince Brad to let him start his very own super dooper most special of all specials knifesicle stand. Farfie Warfie was happy.
In fact, Farfie Warfie was so happy that he hop hop hop hop hoppitied back into his padded cell so that he could lick some more of his most delicious tasting knifesicles. He kept on licking and licking until poor Farfie Warfie Narfiekuns passed out because too much ketchup was leaking out of his mouth.
~*The Next Day*~
Now, Farfie Warfie was a very lazy little boy who loved sleeping in all the time, and since his lovely shiny bouncy padded cell had no windows he did not have to worry about the nasty wasty sun shining in his pretty little eye.
But today was different from every other ho hum I just want to sit around and lick my special knifesicles day! Today Farfie Warfie was going to start his very own super special most important knifesicle stand!
So Farfie Warfie hop hop hop hop…well you get the idea. Very very soon he was out on the street with a great big sign up that told everyone about his super dooper knifesicles. It said:
Farfarello's
Farfie Warfie Narfiekun's
Super Dooper Most Special Of All Specials
Knifesicle Stand!
Farfie Warfie was very proud of his sign. He made it out of his own blood, so he thought the sign hurt God very very very much. That made Farfie Warfie happy. He sat down and set out all of the super dooper most nummilicious knifesicles that he had made the night before.
There were many many delicious flavors of knifesicles that Farfie Warfie had made. Some of them were spinach flavored with radish sprinkles and others were halibut flavored and had beet flavored swirls. Farfie Warfie was very very proud of all his very delicious and nummilicious knifesicles.
However, no matter how much Farfie Warfie grinned smiled and flashed his pearly whites, and no matter how much he showed all the strange and bizarre looking people how very and most utterly nummilicious his knifesicles were no one wanted to buy one.
This made Farfie Warfie very sad. In fact he was so sad that he thought the ocean was leaking out of his eyeballs, plus his very most special of specials eyepatch that had been given to him by a most important of important peoples who helped Farfie Warfie discover why he should hurt God. Farfie Warfie was even sadder because his eyepatch was wet.
So Farfie Warfie packed up his super dooper most very important knifesicle stand and headed home.
Once he got there he unpacked all of his super dooper nummilicious knifesicles and started to lick them. But right then something so very super dooper and incredible happened. Farfie Warfie was covered in a ketchuppy light. His pretty little yellow eye was glowing like a glowy yellow thing.
Then Farfie Warfie realized something, when he had hit his head as a very tiny and small chibi he hadn't killed all the special things in his mouth that let him taste things and decide whether or not they were super dooper nummilicious or just plain icky wicky.
So Farfie Warfie threw down his knifesicles, ran to the bathroom, and washed his mouth out with nice tasting water for three days straight, because it takes a long time to get the taste of sushi, cucumbers, and grapes out of your mouth if you've been licking them for years. After that day Farfie Warfie became a much happier person…kinda.
