A/N: I woke up this morning with this idea running through my head, and found myself unable to focus on anything else until I wrote it down. Virtual cookies to anyone who recognizes the Aida paraphrase and correctly identifies it, along with the song that it comes from, in their review.
Disclaimer: Don't wish… don't start…
I wish a lot of things. It might surprise you to hear it after all I've been through, but it's true, even now. Perhaps especially now.
Sometimes I wish I didn't have a brain. Without a brain, I might be able to forget how I've destroyed the lives of all the people dearest to me. I might be able to forget the dreams I once had, and how they were ripped away from me. I might be able to forget the wrongs and injustices I've seen and suffered. Someday I might even be able to forgive some of it.
Sometimes I wish I didn't have a heart. Without a heart, it's impossible to feel pain. It's impossible to care, to miss things – and people – you've left behind. And it's impossible to love. Sometimes, in my darkest moments, I find myself wishing that I'd never discovered what it's like to love someone and know that your love is returned in full measure.
Sometimes I wish I had no courage. If I were a coward, it would have been easy to ignore what was happening to the Animals. It would have been easy to stay behind with Glinda and accept the Wizard's offer instead of striking out on my own. It would have been easy to do the safe thing, the smart thing, the selfish thing, instead of the right thing.
But I know it's foolish of me to wish like this. I learned long ago that wishing only wounds the heart. Wishes don't come true. Not for me. Because I do have a brain, and a heart, and courage. I remember every last detail of every one of my good deeds gone horribly awry. I feel the bitter sting of every tear I've shed at the loss of someone I loved. And no matter what the cost to myself, I can't help but heed the pricking of my conscience when I encounter an injustice that no one else has bothered to right. It's ironic, really – these traits that are ostensibly so desirable have proven to be my downfall.
This is why I couldn't help but laugh when I learned of the rewards that each member of Dorothy's little band asked of the Wizard for playing their respective parts in my death. How strange that her three companions have asked for a brain, a heart, and courage, when I would do anything to be rid of mine.
See that little purplish button down there on the left? It isn't just there to look pretty. So OBEY IT! You know you want to...