It's the most wonderful time of the year...
Sam's eyes fluttered open, at the startling sound of loud trumpets and joyous singing. He was laying in yet another random motel bed, wearing the same clothes he had on the day before. And now, thanks to that terrible melody playing in his ear, Sam was fully awake. Restful sleep had been stolen from him, in the form of annoying Christmas music.
It's the hap-happiest season of all... With those holiday greetings and gay happy meetings...
Oh, God. If he had to listen to one more verse about Christmas happiness, Sam was gonna puke. Though he was still in the process of waking up, the man rolled over and slapped his hand around on the table beside him; searching lazily for the snooze button on the clock radio. Once he found it, the music cut short, leaving the room as silent as before. But, unfortunately, the Christmas music had already done its job. Sam was wide awake, now, and fully aware of the time and the day.
It was 9 a.m. On Christmas eve.
A large yawn escaped Sam's mouth, as he raised to sit up and glanced toward the bed across the room. Dean was conked out on the mattress a few feet away, as if the music didn't bother him at all. He was still snoring quietly, with his limbs tossed carelessly around him. Sam rolled his eyes a bit, at the sight of his older brother drooling on a pillow. Apparently, the Jack and Coke that Dean ordered at the restaurant last night had consisted of a lot more Jack than it did Coke...
Feeling the urge to pee, Sam rolled wearily out of bed and shuffled over to the bathroom. He was scratching his messy head of hair on the way; yawning again, and glancing over to see that snow was falling outside the motel window. The glass was fogged on the inside, and the white flakes were piling up on the crystal pane.
Ah, yes, Christmas was definitely on its way, bringing those good ol' yuletide feelings with it – and the thought made Sam sick with aggravation. This time of year always sucked for the Winchesters. Not just because they couldn't afford decent gifts for each other, or because the snow made driving difficult in rural areas. Sam mostly didn't like Christmas, because it was the one time of year that he couldn't avoid thinking about everyone he'd lost. His mom, his dad, Jessica... All of them came to mind, whenever the cheery music came on the radio and snow started drifting from the sky. Family-oriented holidays always pained him so much, and Christmas was the worst...
But Sam was determined to avoid all of that Christmas shit, this year. He and Dean had already agreed not to even talk about it. No gifts, no songs, no stupid decorations or trees. They were just going to treat December 25th like a regular day. And, so far, it looked like they were going to succeed. Christmas was going to be over in about 48 hours, and they'd done a marvelous job of ignoring it so far.
Sam finished the journey into the bathroom, where he went about draining his bladder. He flushed the toilet after he was done, and wandered over to the sink to wash his hands and brush his teeth. The dim bathroom light was on, which allowed him to see his own sleepy reflection in the mirror – and the small bunch of leaves dangling near his forehead.
Sam had to double-take at the mirror in front of him, as he carefully turned off the water. He blinked repeatedly at the tiny bundle of green leaves in his reflection, feeling so confused. What the hell was that? It looked like a small piece of a houseplant; just hanging in the air, a few inches above his head. At first, Sam thought that he was looking at a sticker that someone had left on the mirror. He thought that the leaves were stationary; stuck on the glass, and made to look like a decoration. But, no. When Sam raised his head to see it better, the leaves moved with him.
Sam's eyes instantly flickered away from the mirror and up toward the ceiling, to see the bundle of green foliage hovering over his head. It was positioned at least five inches above him, and seven inches in front of him. And whenever he moved, the leaves moved, too. Sam tried leaning away from the thing, dipping quickly toward the right, but the leaves followed him; flying around, as if it had freewill.
"What the hell," Sam muttered under his breath, feeling confused and uncomfortable.
Since it looked like he wouldn't be able to move away from the leaves, Sam tried swatting at them instead. The man reached up to swing at the thing a few times; trying to get it to fall down, or disappear, or something. But the tiny plant just wouldn't go away. It kept dodging Sam's fingers; jetting out of his reach, only to come back to it's original resting place, over his head. Sam glared up at the stubborn leaves, feeling anxious and confused. Why the hell was this thing hanging over him?! Where did it come from?! And why wouldn't it go away?!
"Dean," Sam called, staggering quickly out of the bathroom, "Dean, wake up."
The younger Winchester stumbled over to his sleeping brother and shook his shoulder a few times, in an effort to wake him out of his hangover. Sam was keeping one eye on the foreign object above him, and one eye on Dean; glancing back and forth between them, as Dean finally started to wake up. The older brother grumbled a little and pushed at Sam's hand.
"Mmph, lemme sleep," Dean mumbled, rolling his head away.
"No, Dean, you've gotta wake up and see this," Sam argued, "Look!"
Although he huffed a breath of annoyance and gave a long yawn of exhaustion, Dean eventually blinked his eyes open and looked toward Sam. Once his brother's eyes were on him, Sam instantly pointed toward the group of leaves above him.
"This thing is following me," he explained, moving around to show Dean, "See?! Look, it's floating around my head, and it won't go away!"
Dean squinted his sleepy eyes, as if he was studying the object over Sam's head. It seemed like he was just as confused by it as Sam was; like he thought he was dreaming it up or something.
"What the hell is that thing?" the older brother asked, his voice low and gravelly.
"I don't know," Sam admitted, "It looks like some kind of plant."
"Ha. Way to go, Sammy," Dean scoffed, shaking his head, "You've eaten so much salad, that it's starting to orbit around your giant head, now."
"Dean, it's not funny," the younger brother growled, "I don't know what it is, and it's following me around. We have to get rid of it."
"Well, smack the damn thing down, then," Dean suggested, as he sat up to toss his legs over the side of the bed.
"I've already tried that," Sam informed, "It just moves out of the way. See?"
Dean was watching, when Sam tried to swat at the leaves. The green bunch only danced around his fingers again; swiftly dodging his frail attempts to harm it. After witnessing the self-sustaining actions of the flying houseplant stem, Dean actually rose to his feet. He was staring hard at the thing over Sam's forehead; scratching his own messy hair, and resting a free hand on his hip.
"What the hell," he mumbled again, "Where did that come from?"
"I don't know," Sam breathed, feeling exasperated, "I just woke up and it was there."
"Huh. It looks like a..." Dean's voice trailed off, as if he didn't want to finish his sentence.
"What? Looks like a what?" Sam blurted, wanting to know.
"Well," the older brother started again, "It looks like one of those Christmas things. You know, people hang it up and kiss under it? Mistletoe, or whatever."
Sam's large eyes darted back up to the plant over his own head, seeing the tiny white and red baubles hidden around the leaves. Mistletoe? Why the absolute hell was Mistletoe loitering around Sam? How did it get up there?
"But... Why is it following me?" Sam breathed, staring at it from below.
"Maybe a witch put a spell on you," Dean suggested, sounding serious, "And, if that's the case, we're gonna need to find her and get her to say the counter -"
A few heavy knocks came from the motel door, startling both Winchesters out of their conversation. Sam and Dean both jumped a little and turned to look at the door across the room; each reaching for the nearest weapon. Dean grabbed the pistol out from under his pillow, while Sam quickly reached over and got the handgun from the bedside table. It was simply in their nature to be cautious, especially if something weird was going on; like being followed by random plants...
"Who is it?" Dean asked loudly, his tone low and threatening.
"I – I'm a housekeeper here," a timid female voice replied from the other side, "I was, um, told to give this card to the guy staying in this room."
The Winchesters both gave each other looks of hesitance; silently stating that they were both suspicious of the girl at the door. The older brother motioned for the younger to follow, as he hid his weapon behind his back and edged over to the door. Sam kept his own gun out of sight, too, as he walked up to stand behind Dean. Both of them braced themselves, as Dean quickly opened the door.
The girl outside seemed very young and shy. Both of her hands were in the pockets of her big puffy coat, and her feet were shifting around a little. Her cheeks were pink from the cold, and her straight platinum hair was swaying around with the snowy breeze. Sam eyed her bashful features, as she briefly glanced up at Dean. Sam remained a few feet behind Dean, not wanting the girl to see the odd Christmas decoration dangling over his head.
"Is... Is Sam here?" she asked quietly.
"Yeah, he is," Dean answered, even though he kept Sam hidden from her.
"Oh. Well, um, here you go," she answered, pulling out a small envelope from her pocket.
Sam's eyes narrowed at the white envelope that had his name written on it, as it moved from the girl's hand and into Dean's. Who would give him a card? Was it a Christmas card, from Bobby or something? No, Bobby never did things like that. Was it from the same person responsible for this damn mistletoe thing? After realizing that the card might be connected to the mistletoe, Sam couldn't help but inch his way around Dean. The tallest man fully met eyes with the girl outside, wanting honest information.
"Do you know who left it for me?" Sam asked, hoping the card was from someone he knew.
As soon as the girl caught sight of Sam – as soon as she saw the mistletoe – something seemed to change in her demeanor. She was no longer bashful and timid, but suddenly lively and happy, instead; as if a switch had flipped inside her personality. A massive, bubbly smile burst across her face and her eyes twinkled with delight, as she giggled a bit and pointed at the leaves hanging over Sam's head.
"Mistletoe," she cooed.
Before Sam knew it, the girl had quickly jutted up to plant her lips firmly on his own. The youngest Winchester blinked several times, feeling slightly dazed. Holy shit, he was suddenly in the middle of a kiss! A kiss that he never asked for! Once he felt his stomach churning with discomfort, Sam gently shook himself free of the girl's embrace. Of course, Sam didn't mind kissing girls, but this person was a complete stranger! Who the hell would walk up to a stranger, and flat out kiss them on the mouth?! Sam felt strangely violated, and wiped his lips as soon as she stepped away. Her smile, though, never dimmed.
"Merry Christmas, Sam," the girl called, as she dashed down the snowy sidewalk.
Sam could feel heat burning on his face, as he looked down to see Dean staring at him. The guy seemed both shocked and amused, by what had just happened. He was obviously trying to hold down a bit of laughter, like Sam's entire morning of weirdness had been one giant joke to him. The jerk...
"Mmm," Dean smirked, "maybe that mistletoe isn't so bad after all, huh?"
"It's not funny," Sam spat for the second time.
Dean chuckled at the sound of pure bitterness in Sam's voice, as if Sam's anger only made it funnier. But, thankfully, his laughter stopped and he held up the card between them. They were still standing in the open doorway of their motel room, and the chilly breeze was whipping around outside, when Dean raised an eyebrow at his brother.
"Do you want me to open it, Sam? You never know. You might turn into the Easter Bunny, if you read it," Dean grinned, obviously poking fun at Sam's predicament.
"Gimme that," Sam snapped, yanking the card out of his brother's hand.
Trying his best to ignore Dean's childish grin, Sam quickly and carefully opened the white envelope addressed to him. He pulled out what looked to be a Christmas card. A cartoon picture was on the front, of Santa feeding Rudolph a couple of carrots. Sam only glanced over the front, though, because he was too eager to open it and see the message inside. There was a lengthy, handwritten paragraph etched on the inside of the card. Dean was leaning close to Sam's side, as both brothers instantly began reading the words.
Dear Sammy,
There's nothing quite like the unbridled joy of standing under the mistletoe on Christmas eve. And, this year, I wanted to give you your own slice of joy to carry around. How are you liking it so far? It's pretty cool, right? ;) As much as I want you to have the merriest Christmas ever, I know that you have a tenancy to be a humbug. If you really want to be a Grinch – like you always are, this time of year - and you want to get rid of my lovely gift, then here's what you'll need to do: Get the three things listed on the back of this card, and meet me at Rockefeller Center before midnight. (Yes. The one in New York City.) Then, and only then, will I consider taking my gift back. I hope you see lots and lots of people today, and spread around the Christmas cheer!
Lots of kisses,
Your sexy – I mean, secret – Santa
P.S. When in doubt, follow the dog.
Sam read the letter at lightening fast speed, and had to stop and read it again out of sheer bewilderment. Questions started swirling angrily in his mind, like snowflakes in a blizzard. The mistletoe was a gift? And if Sam wanted to get rid of it, he had to get a bunch of shit and take it to Rockefeller Center? Before midnight? Who the hell was this 'secret Santa'?! And how did they know that Sam hated Christmas?! Dean reached out and plucked the card from Sam's hand, to stare down at it with scrunched eyebrows.
"Follow the dog?" the older brother asked, sounding confused, "What dog?"
After Dean's question, a loud car horn beeped near them. The Winchesters both jumped at the sound; spinning to look out into the snow, toward the parking lot. The horn kept beeping in a steady rhythm, like an alarm was going off. But Sam knew for a fact that it couldn't have been an alarm, because it was coming from the Impala. Apparently, Dean could tell that it was coming from their car too, because he was suddenly walking out into the snowy breeze; tucking his gun into his waistband, and heading straight for the black vehicle across from their room.
Sam, though, hesitated in the doorway for a second. The mistletoe was still hovering over his head, and he didn't want anyone to see it. Sam sort of felt like a circus freak; a weirdo with a strange Christmas appendage jutting out from his head, that people would pay to see. But, after glancing down at the card that was still in Dean's hand, Sam forced himself to go outside. Christmas crisis or no, Sam had to find out who was honking the horn inside the Impala.
Dean made it to the car first, of course, and paused to stare through the windshield for a second; as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing. Sam caught up to the car in the parking lot, and was finally able to understand his brother's reaction. There was a dog inside the Impala. A small dog – probably a Jack Russel Terrier, going by its shape and size – and there was a large, red ribbon wrapped around its neck, in place of a collar. But that wasn't the strangest part. No, the weirdest part of all, was that the dog was humping the steering wheel. It was literally thrusting against the middle of it, making the horn go Beep! Beep! Beep! Sam's face contorted with total disgust. He knew that this must have been the dog that his secret Santa was referring to. But, man, the card never said anything about the dog being a pervert...
Dean instantly lunged forward and ripped open the driver's side door. His face was red hot with anger, when he leaned in to yell at the animal.
"Hey! Knock it off!" he shouted, reaching in to shove the dog off the steering wheel.
Luckily, the dog fell away from the horn, which made the erratic beeping stop. The tiny Jack Russel Terrier rolled over in the front seat, before racing over to jump out of the car. He pranced over to Sam in the snowy parking lot and jumped up and down in front of him; pawing at his long legs, like the dog wanted to be held. Though Sam had been having a terrible and awkward morning, he had to admit that he enjoyed being in the presence of a dog. Sam always had a soft spot for warm fur and wagging tails.
"Uh, hey there," Sam said, kneeling down to pet the little guy.
The dog instantly nuzzled closer to Sam, which allowed the man to have a better look at his Christmas collar. The red ribbon was tied off with a large bow on the left side, and the name 'Dickie' was printed in cursive, golden ink around the band. Sam smiled a little at the sight, and couldn't help but realize how cute it was.
"Dickie?" Sam asked, hoping to get a response.
The dog barked a few times, like he was trying to reply. Apparently, the little guy's name really was Dickie. And it seemed to fit him perfectly, because he was sniffing around the front tire of the Impala, like he was getting ready to mount it and give it hell.
"How did that thing get in the car?" Dean asked, as he shut the car door and crossed his arms.
Sam raised back up to stand, and was about to give some kind of answer to his brother, when he caught sight of a few people walking by. It was a couple – a man and a woman, dressed in warm clothes – who seemed to be crossing the parking lot, on their way to their own car. Sam instantly tilted his head down, not wanting them to see the weird, leafy growth he had above him. But, unfortunately, they spotted it anyway. Sam could see their eyes light up from a few feet away, and heat rose on his cheeks instantly. Oh, no. They were going to laugh at him, weren't they? The couple stepped a little closer to Sam in the parking lot; both smiling and pointing upward.
"Mistletoe," the woman mused, seeming excited.
Sam was about to offer an explanation for why the leaves were hovering in midair, and why they followed him around, but he didn't get to. Because the woman was suddenly craning her neck to kiss him. For the second time that morning, Sam found himself inside a kiss he wanted no part of. The woman gently pecked his lips with her own, before stepping back. Once again, Sam wiped his own mouth; feeling violated. Ugh, why did she do that? Didn't she care that her spouse was standing right next to her?! Just as Sam thought this, however, the man took a step forward. His eyes were bright and there was a genuine smile on his face. He pointed up at the greenery overhead, too, just like his girlfriend did before.
"Mistletoe," he grinned.
Blood seemed to drain from Sam's face, as he watched the man lean forward. Oh, shit! The guy was leaning forward to kiss him! A man! Before Sam could even think of trying to fight against it, he found himself sharing a lip-lock with a dude. It only lasted a few seconds, but for Sam, it felt like an eternity. The man's faint mustache was tickling Sam's upper lip, and the masculine scent of aftershave was thick in the air. Ugh! It was so weird! What the hell?!
As soon as Sam's shock and disgust wore off, he quickly shook himself free of the kiss; stumbling back, and covering his own mouth protectively. Sam gave the man a bizarre glare, hoping that the dude would see how pissed off he was about being kissed, but the guy remained just as happy as before. He and his girlfriend promptly gave Sam a few waves, as they started backing away.
"Merry Christmas, Sam!" they called in unison, finally leaving.
Sam furiously rubbed his own violated lips, as he watched the couple go. How did they know his name? Ugh, and why did they both kiss him?! Sam's glare flickered accusingly toward the green leaves overhead. It was like the mistletoe was doing something to everyone; like looking at the green leaves hypnotized people, and made them want to kiss Sam. Was that it? Was that the reason Sam had received so many unwelcome kisses, today?
Dean, who hadn't lifted a single finger to defend his brother from flirty strangers, was standing nearby with a red face. He was struggling to maintain a calm composure, even though he was obviously wanting to burst out laughing. He was biting down a grin and snickering under his breath, trying to mask it with his hand. Sam gave him a fierce glare, huffing loudly with rage. Dean's reaction wasn't making him feel any better.
"It's not funny, Dean!" the younger brother shouted for the third time, his voice echoing around the parking lot.
Dean laughed out loud anyway; literally doubling over, and having to wipe the moisture from his eyes. He was waving a hand toward the leaves over Sam's head while he chuckled, seeming so damn amused. But, eventually, his stupid laughter drew to a stop and he was able to form coherent words.
"This... This is the greatest prank ever," Dean wheezed, his voice high with humor, "But, who would do this to you, Sam?"
It was after Dean's musing question, that an epiphany struck Sam like lightening. Sam had already been 'pranked' like this before. He had been victimized – not just once, but twice – by the same person, with the use of annoying songs, forced humiliation, and potent discomfort. Sam had suffered through irritating traumas before, just like this one, and it had all been because of one man. Because of one archangel...
"The trickster..." Sam breathed, glaring at the mistletoe over his head, "It has to be the trickster."
(Author's Note: Happy Black Friday, everyone! (I really hope none of you got hurt in the holiday savings scrap.) ;) I guess today starts the unofficial countdown to Christmas, eh? Woo hoo! :) If you don't like the holiday season, then you know exactly how Sam feels in this fic. ;) And, if you've read some of my work before, then you probably already have a suspicion of whats going on. As you can see from this first chapter, Sam going to be kissed by strangers a lot in this story. He won't like it, but it's going to be reeeally funny. :) Plus, a lot of Sabriel fluff and humor is headed your way! I'm going to try and publish one chapter a week, all the way 'til Christmas. (This fic is my gift to all of you loyal readers. Merry Christmas! Sorry I'm too cheap and awkward to get you a real present. Lol) :) The next chapter will be out next week! I hope you'll stick around to see what happens to Sammy! :)