I Love You!

"Peter! Peter! Come! We have guests!" Lois Griffin shouted to her one and only husband, Peter Griffin.
"Coming, beautiful!"
Peter walks down the stairs with a white tank top, stained with strong smelling alcohol, and a bottle of Budwiser in his hand. A pair of shorts with a rip in the behind covered his thighs.
"Yes, honey?" He asked.
"We have visitors! The Cullen family! Remember-" Lois could not finish her sentence.
"The who? I don't have any cousins! Lois, are you drunk?" Peter interuppted. "Not your cousins! The Cullens. From that new movie, Twilight. We watched it at the Rhode Island Theatre!" Lois reminded the drunk man of the house.
"You mean that movie with those blood-sucking vampires? If so, that movie sucked!" Peter said. "Peter! These people were in that movie! They're the vampires. Keep your mouth shut!" Lois shouted.
"I'm sorry, my husband is drunk at the moment." She whispered to Carlisle.
"Oh, its okay, Lois! So, I heard your son, Martin, is a big fan!" Carlisle. "Oh, its our daughter, Megan. Yes, she loves your son, Edward." Lois said.
"Shall I sign something? Is she here?" Edward asked anxiously. "No she's not here. But I'll get a piece of paper, or a matter of fact. . . She has a ton of posters in her bedroom! I'll rip one down like a lion, and get you to sign it! All of your, lovely , family! Be right back!" Lois scurried up the stairs, and tripped on the second to last stair, and came tumbling down. Peter didn't care. Edward rushed over to help her, and ask if she's okay. "Wow, Lois! That was a mighty hard fall! Are you alright?" Edward gasped. "Yes, I am alright!" Lois said!
"Because that-" Edward was cut off by Lois.
"Did you know, you are mighty fine! Your smooth, but ice cold skin, your beautiful hair, and your fierce golden eyes?" Lois listed. "Uhm, thank you?" Edward raised one eyebrow.
Lois jumped off her feet, and jumped on Edward.
She started to make-out with the hunky Edward Cullen. While they were in the corner, half naked, Megan Griffin walks through the door. "MOM!" Meg screamed. "Get off that man!" She demanded. Lois flew off Edward like how the wind sweeps a feather off the ground.

When Lois got off of Edward, Meg recognized the man her mom was on. "Edward? Edward Cullen? How? What? Who? Why?" Megan hesitated. "So this is Megan." Edward said. "Yes, I am Meg! And I am truely hurt! Your nearly made my mother pregnant!" Meg emphasized the word 'pregnant!' Meg scurried up the stairs, crying all the tears out of her eyes possible.

"Do you think she was drinking?" Peter asked.
"Can we get out of this crazy house, and go back to Forks, where our home is. Not some crazy family? Please, like right now!" Rosalie Cullen, Edward's sister, cried. "Wait! I have to sign this poster of Meg's?" Edward said. "Oh thats right. Be right back." Lois ran carefully up the stair with her pink undies on her bare white legs.

Lois barged into Meg's room, while Meg sat on her bed crying.

She tore down Meg's favourite poster of Edward, got a black sharpie, and brought it down to Edward. He signed it, kissed Lois, then ran out of the house.

Peter looked like he was dead on the couch. "No!" Peter shouted, still 'dead.' "Don't give him the burger! Give it to me!" Peter exaggerated 'me' He rolled off the couch chewing his tongue thinking it was a juicy hamburger. It was obvious he was talking in his sleep!

Lois went to sit down, and heard a 'tumble' down the stairs.
She looks at the stair case, and see's Meg lying there practically bent in half.
"Do you know how to walk down stairs, properly?" Lois said.
"I'm not talking to you! You almost got pregnant with my 'soon-to-be' husband! Don't ever talk to me again!"
Meg demanded
"That works for me!" Lois agreed. Meg stomped up the stairs, almost breaking the stair Lois fell on.
"Bye to you too!" Lois said.