Title: Englishy Tea
Spoilers: Hahaha. umm... Maybe 'Corporate Warriors.' lulz.
Disclaimer: I do not own CSI: New York. I do not own crack. Please note that this fanfic is not to be taken seriously in ANY WAY. I did it for teh lulz.
Summary: A CSI: New York CRACK!FIC. Peyton Driscoll and Stella Bonasera get into a fight. Rated T for language.
A/N: For those who don't know:
CRACK!FIC: A form of fan fiction in which characters are put in very random, nonsensical situations, and most often are all OOC. Its name, derived from the drugs, uses the irrationality from the drug high as an example of what to expect in the piece. Generally these are humor pieces. Also occasionally known as a sugarfic, probably from the common assertion in author's notes that the story was written on a "sugar high", or the stereotype of such.
This is dedicated to Synnove, who encouraged me to write the first CSI: NY CRACK!FIC and because I think if I dedicate this to her she'll update her stories faster.
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Once upon a time there was a bitch whore named Peyton. She worked as a medical examiner in the New York Crime Lab. Nobody really liked her but she was their only M.E. so they had to keep their mouths shut.
One day Peyton was being a bitchfacin' ho' and Stella got like, uber pissed.
"Hay Peyton, WUUUUTUPPPP?" Stella asked.
Peyton just bitchfaced her.
"SRSLY whaddafuck yo problem, Peyton?" Asked Stella.
Peyton just bitchfaced again and threw a cup o' tea at Stella. This infuriated Stella even more bcuz Stella pretty much hates tea. Especially Englishy tea.
"Whaddafux, Peyton? You need to stop bitchfacin' and GTFO." Stella said calmly.
"OMFG FUCKING BITCH GO TO HELL 4 SRS" Peyton said, not so calmly.
At this point everyone was hiding under their desks bcuz of how scarey it was rite nao.
"OKAY PAYTES I HAVE HAD ENUFF OUT OF YOU, GTFO RITE NAO" Yelled Stella.
"OMFG WTF UR THE ONE WHO IS SO FAIL U MAEK TEH BB JEBUS CRY" Peyton screamed..
Stella gazped. Danny said "OMG." Flack said "O SNAP." Adam said "AW HAIL NO." Lindsey said "O NO U DI-INT." And Mac was getting hiz secret ninja weapons out of the lab and being sneaky ninja Mac.
Stella snapped out of her state of shock and said, "DAYUM BITCH IZ GOIN' DAOWN!"
Rite then Mac ninja'd up behind Stella and handed her dat ossum sword from that one episode with the ninjas and swords.
Stella took the weapon, thanking mac with her eyeballs with promises of sexytiems to come. Mac smiled and left because it wuz about to go DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWN.
Peyton looked around for a weapon but she didn't have one.
Peyton yelled "OMFG HAX!!11!!!1!!!one!" as Stella cut her down with a smile.
"TAKE THAT BITCH!" Stella said. Everyone cheered bcuz Peyton was a bitchwhore.
And everyone lived happily ever after.
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NYAHAHAHA. I KNOW YOU ARE ALL JEALOUS OF MY LEET WRITING SKILLZ.
Definitions for non-crack writers:
Hax:
When someone has an unfair advantage over you.
Obi-Wan: It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!
Anakin: HAX!
Bitchface:
Any person whose face looks just like the face of your standard bitch. Also used to refer to someone whose face will not stop bitching or is perpetually bitch.
GTFO:
An internet acronym short for "get the fuck out". It is used to express indignation, usually towards stupidity, incompetence, or both. It can be used in response to something that is unwelcome.
That guy was annoying and didn't know what he was talking about so I told him to GTFO.
MAEK TEH BB JEBUS CRY:
When something "makes baby Jesus cry" it means that that something is considered unpleasant, controversial, and/or evil by a certain person or group of people.
Dude: OMG I LOVE MYSPACE!!!11!!1!1!!!
Dude 2: Your lack of win makes the baby Jesus cry.