Sirius Black and Lily Evans did not get on

by caeai

Lily Evans' friendship with Sirius Black.

Sirius Black and Lily Evans did not get on.

As much as James Potter threw himself at the green-eyed witch, Sirius Black was the boy that shared a deep-seated animosity with one Lily Evans.

While James would pull ridiculous- and embarrassingly public- stunts to attract her attention- Like charming singing peonies to chase after her in a bid for a date with her. (When asked later, James declared indignantly, "Of course it couldn't be lilies! That's so unoriginal!" He then proceeded to get in a shouting match with his best friend when Sirius had the audacity to tell James he sounded like an absolute bird.)- Sirius was quiet in his antagonizing of Lily Evans. He had once charmed her hair to get just a bit wavier every time she touched it. By the end of the day, her vibrant, waist-length hair was having trouble reaching the studs in her earlobes. Trying to brush it only broke the brush and caused her to burst into entirely unjustified tears.

Lily had caught him red-handed after a few of his- Even Lily couldn't deny that Sirius could be subtle when he wanted to be- pranks made him bolder and he taunted her about one of his more vicious victories over her. He'd charmed her Hogwarts-regulated pleated skirt to transparency whenever James talked to her. Or about her. Or in her vicinity.

Potter hadn't even had the decency to look the other way when it had happened. The scruffy-haired boy hadn't noticed when her face did a rather admirable imitation of her hair because he was too busy staring at her panties. The ones with the words: 'Wouldn't I be so much more interesting to chase?' embroidered on the elastic with Quaffles careening over the Gryffindor gold fabric. Merlin, why did she even keep the gag gift Marlene had given her for Christmas?

Remus- God bless precious Remus Lupin- whacked Potter over the head and hissed chastisements at the boy, jerking him to face his punishment when drool started to drip out of his mouth.

Sirius leant over to speak in sotto voice to Lily just as her skirt started to materialize again. "Seems like you've given a new meaning to fancying the pants off of someone, eh, Evans?"

Lily got her first- and hopefully her only- detention for decking Sirius Black right in his smarmy, smirking mouth. It didn't make her feel any less mortified, but it had drawn some attention away from her unfortunate choice of undergarments and to the look of shocked respect- grudgingly given on Sirius' part and graciously accepted on Lily's- on Sirius'- literally- bloody face. They still called each other by their surnames, Sirius still used underhanded magic to embarrass her, and Lily still had a host of off-color jabs at the ready to murmur as she passed him in the halls- or, for that matter, in the Common Room, Great Hall, any of their classes, and really anywhere they managed to cross paths. All was right in their realm of barely acknowledging the other's existence- except Sirius nodded appreciatively when Lily had a particularly nice quip at one of his defining features- her personal favorite to rag on was the host of girls swooning after him- and Lily would sometimes send him reviews of pranks he'd pulled on her.

Something had gone disastrously wrong with the Marauders during their Fifth Year. Lily was peripherally aware of it, but paid it next to no mind. She had only noticed it because Sirius had passed up every opportunity he'd had to embarrass her for a week. The only interaction they had had at all was when Sirius had muttered to her despondently in Transfiguration- where McGonagall, who was visibly shaken at the outright animosity James and Peter had for Sirius and Remus' resolutely frosty silence, had told Sirius he was to sit as far away from his three former best mates as she could put him- "I look like shit, Evans. Go ahead, take a swipe." She hadn't, and instead had helped him silently with his wand movement, which was entirely too jerky- and she suspected that this was because he was more focused on staying composed than Vanishing the slug in front of him.

Lily, who had plans to meet with Severus in the library to study, had gone a few minutes early to grab their favorite table and find a few of the more obscure books she thought she could use. She literally froze mid-stride when Sirius was hunched in a chair at the very table- it was the only table in the junction of the Potions, Charms, and Transfiguration sections and her favorite for the convenience that its placement afforded her- she and Sev frequented.

"Hullo, Evans." His greeting was lacking its usual almost-mocking quality, and Lily found she missed the old banter they'd had before. The roughness in his voice made her think that he'd not spoken to anyone in days. She winced away from the thought. Sirius is too vibrant and lively and sociable for him to feel so alone.

Sirius had deep bruises under his eyes, where sleepless nights had fought him and won, his hair was frizzy and unclean, his face was unshaven, and the only unrumpled article of clothing he had on was a worn leather jacket- Lily assumed this was due to the rather un-rumple-able nature of the fabric and not to any particular attention the owner had shown the jacket. In lieu of making eye contact, Sirius slid further down into the seat and shoved his fists into his armpits, looking like a reprimanded child.

Lily approached the table cautiously, placing the books she'd carried with her on the flat surface. She tucked a hank of her hair behind her ear, pushing it behind her back in the same movement as she sank into the chair beside him. "Hello, Black." Her murmur didn't elicit a response from the boy beside her, but she hadn't expected one. She quietly put her things in order before standing again. "I'll be just over there, okay?" She pointed out which shelves housed the books she was after. "You can come over there if you need to, or you can wait here. I'll be back in just a moment."

When Lily came back with three new texts, Sirius had slumped over to rest his forehead on the table. Some of her things had been nudged out of place, but she worried over the defined bones of Black's wrist thrown haphazardly over his head.

Lily sat again and gave him three full minutes to speak. When he maintained his silence, Lily nodded, accepting his presence without objection. Sometimes, when her sister made her feel like a freak- like a monster- she didn't want to talk. She just wanted someone to sit with her while she thought. Or didn't think, whichever the case may be.

She had four paragraphs blocked out by the time Sev came- Fifteen minutes late, but Lily didn't really mind, not like usual.- and he was speaking before he was really even in sight. The only significant movement Sirius had made was to turn his neck until his cheek pressed against the cool of the polished wood and his grey eyes occasionally watched Lily's quill tip or tracked across her face as if he could watch the thoughts as they flitted through her brain while his fingers tapped a quiet, rather soothing tattoo on the table beside his head.

"Lily, do you happen to know where- Black." Sev stopped just as Lily had when she'd seen the table already occupied, but that was the only way his reaction resembled hers. Lily thought she might've heard Severus growl before he demanded that the blood traitor leave that instant, but she merely watched Sirius for his reception. The fingers that had been gently drumming on the tabletop froze, twitched, restarted, and his face creased in what looked like remorse and badly hidden pain to Lily.

The first time Lily had accidently chucked something at Petunia with magic- the first time Petunia had called her a monster instead of just a freak- her face had creased just like that.

Sirius tried to blow out a breath, but it seemed to stall in his chest. He stood slowly, jerking his hands up to hover, palms out, beside his shoulders when Severus drew his wand. "Look, I-" Just like his breath, his words stalled coming out. "I-I want to a-apologize."

Lily's heart did something funny in her chest when Sirius finally got the words out, but Severus- if possible after being presented with, in Severus' estimation, the least desirable Black- looked even more murderous. "I'm sure you're just 'sorry' because that's how to get the animal to forgive you."

Lily could see the vein in his temple jump at the word 'animal', but Sirius kept his cool. "Remus won't ever be forgiving me, I suspect. No, I wanted to apologize to you, Severus-" The fact that Sirius hadn't even stumbled a little bit over saying his given name impressed Lily. "-because I placed you in a situation where you very well could have been killed or sentenced to a very unpleasant life because I-" Sirius' fingers, still floating around the same height as his shoulders, shook. "-because I was angry."

Having said that, Sirius almost collapsed in on himself, his shoulders hunching as if he were trying to make himself take up less space. He looked even more tired than he had when Lily had first seen him.

"Great, you've recognized that you're an asshole. Do you think you deserve an award? Kindly piss off and leave those of us with moral superiority alone." Severus meant to sound sarcastic, but Lily thought he sounded rather whiny, like a small child who blew a tiny victory over their rival out of proportion.

"Severus, I think you should give us some privacy."

Severus stared at Lily like she had betrayed him. "But-"

"No, Severus. I will study with you later."

"But, Lily, we had a-a..." He clearly wanted to label it a date, but Lily had often cringed when he'd tried it in the past.

"And you decided it was fine to show up late. I will study with you later, Severus." She said it more firmly this time.

With that dismissal, Lily sat back down, gesturing for Sirius to do the same.

Each of them quickly resumed their previous positions after Severus left in a huff. Lily thought the steady tapping of Sirius' fingers was conducive to her studying, and she finished more quickly that she would have if Severus had stopped her every twenty minutes for a chat vaguely disguised as needed help on some homework or another.

Once Lily had finished collecting her things and packing up her bag, Sirius stood, loud cracks from his knees and spine testifying how long he'd been sitting. He made to leave with a nod of his head, making it around the table and to the first shelf before Lily called him back quietly.

"Black." He turned his head so he could see her out of the corner of one eye. "When was the last time you've eaten?"

Sirius turned his head back around the right way and shrugged. Not for a while, she translated expertly.

"Well, come show me how marauding fools get into the house elves' good graces." She shouldered her bag casually and beckoned with her hand as she passed him. She recognized her faux paus as soon as she saw his entire body tighten, but he was following, overtaking, leading her to the kitchens, and, really, he probably thought she'd taken a stab at him on purpose when he so clearly wasn't a Marauder at the moment.

Lily was appropriately amused when Sirius showed her how to gain entrance to the kitchens, and appropriately amazed at the sheer size of the room. Sirius tried to push his food around his plate without eating any, and Lily's heart did something wonky again.

She nudged Sirius in the side suddenly, knocking him to the side. "I bet I can eat more than you, Black."

Some of his normal mischievous fire seemed to leech back into his eyes and he shoved Lily's plate half way down the long table before shouting "GO!" and digging in.

Lily laughed as she Summoned her plate and tried to catch up, glad to see his too-thin wrist shoveling food into his mouth, even if she had to scarf down her own food to make it happen.

After Sirius won in a landslide by virtue of testosterone, Lily settled back with a mug of tea to watch Sirius silently for a moment.

"Remus isn't an animal."

Sirius' shoulders tensed. "I don't think you get it."

"I know he's a werewolf."

All the air got sucked out from between them as Sirius' head snapped to Lily. "I-"

"I can listen. Or I can keep you company. Or I can tell you a story."

Sirius slowly relaxed, still trying to read Lily. Lily got through most of her tea before Sirius murmured quietly, "Would you really tell a story?"

Lily nodded silently, finishing her sip before setting down her mug. "I am a Muggleborn. I knew I was magic long before my Hogwarts letter came. I lived beside a boy named Severus. His mother is a witch. He recognized magic in me and spun all these wonderful stories. I learned little things, like how to make flower petals dance when I wiggled my fingers just right, but my sister, Petunia, didn't want to believe it. So she didn't. It was okay to believe magic was real when I was six. She was only eight, and she kind of wanted to believe then, too. But, four years later, she complained when I would talk about what Sev told me about Hogwarts and the Wizarding World. She said ten was too old for make believe. And maybe ten was too old for make believe. But ten was too young for Hogwarts letters. The next year, I received a half dozen letters to Hogwarts because 'Tuny kept taking them.

"She labelled me a freak and told me she was glad her freak of a little sister would be going to boarding school for most of the year. Sev comforted me when I ran from the house crying. He told me she was just jealous. And for awhile, that was enough for me. I could live with the mocking because I thought my sister would just get over it.

"This summer, she was harping at me, mocking me because I was doing the dishes by hand. She kept asking why I didn't just whip out my wand like the freak that I was."

Lily fell silent for a few minutes, and Sirius left it, even though he was clearly waiting for the end.

"Before I really knew what happened, three of the knives in the knife block were embedded in the wall a half foot above my sister's head without my lifting a finger."

Lily dragged an unsteady breath in before finishing. "She called me a monster."

A few beats of painful silence surrounded them before Lily shrugged. "Sometimes, the words people say make us lose control and do things before we think about the consequences. Sometimes, it ruins relationships. Sometimes, all we can do is apologize. Sometimes, we don't get forgiven."

Sirius looked Lily in the eye for a moment before they both nodded at each other and got up to go back to Gryffindor tower.

James glared from his seat by the fire in the Gryffindor Common Room when Sirius and Lily just barely made curfew. Lily ignored him, and the curious gaze of one lycanthrope following her as she trailed Sirius. They split, each going to their respective dormitory staircases.

"Oi, Black!" She didn't shout; she didn't have to. The Common Room was quiet, watching them. Why was Lily Evans talking to Sirius Black alone?

"Shave that terrible excuse of a beard before Hagrid offers to teach you how it's done."

Sirius smiled, just a bit and tapped his finger to his forehead in a small salute. "Aye aye, Evans."

Christmas came and went without much ado. Both Sirius and Lily went home, each with their own reservations about their families. On the train to King's Cross, Lily didn't sit with Sirius, but she didn't hear what Severus said, until he stood up suddenly and told her he was going to speak with someone that would actually try to talk back. Her roommates had all welcomed the snarky Slytherin's departure and left Lily in her own world happily. She'd rubbed a place raw on her finger after spending hours spinning her ring around nervously as the clock to the world without magic tick-tick-tick-ed down.

Sirius had showed up with about three hours left before arrival. He'd simply shoved open the door and leaned in the doorway. The other girls sat straighter and giggled, nudging one another. Maybe he'll want something to do with one of us. But Lily- When had she become so familiar with it?- could see the way his smirk didn't quite move his face the way she thought it ought to and his flirting was barely even half-hearted.

"Merlin, Black, do you need a minder every moment of the day?" The girls all looked at her as if she were crazy. Did she just sass Sirius Black?

Sirius grinned toothily, and Lily was glad to see the pitifully inadequate smirk gone for the moment. "Of course, Evans. Without a minder, no one would be witness to my greatness."

"Oh, the tragedy," Lily snorted but let him escort her through the train to an empty cabin. The act crumbled one piece at a time. His shoulders sagged before they were even halfway there, but Sirius held himself together remarkably well for an emotionally overtaxed boy who'd spent most of the previous night in the Common Room with Lily telling her about growing up with Regulus. He'd glossed over the endings of the stories where he had pranked someone from his scarily extensive- and extensively scary- family, but Lily had gotten the distinct impression that all was not entirely Forgivable in the Ancient and Moste Noble House of Black.

Early Christmas morning, Lily jerked awake, her hair an unholy terror and drool sticky on her face, flailing in such a way as to manage to throw her stuffed owl across her room, knock the haphazard pile of books off her nightstand, and fall pelvis first onto her cluttered floor with a spectacular thud when something scraped shrilly against the glass of her window.

She pressed her palms flat to the floor, pushing her torso up so- if she stretched her back, turned her head just right and squinted- she could see her clock. Her back complained at being forced into such an unnatural angle, with her hips and thighs still flush against her cold tile floor and the bottom of her toes waving hello to her vaulted ceiling. "Half bloody three." She muttered before the shrieking scrape sounded against her windowpane again.

She winced at the noise, worried about her parents- but really just Petunia-waking up. She got a better look out her window as she stood, pausing to stretch in the middle of the room before going to her window to let the owl- and the cold- into her room. It flew a small circuit around her ceiling fan before dropping a plainly wrapped rectangular package on her bed and landing on the dresser beside her, somehow managing to look aristocratic as it held its leg out to her disdainfully.

She untied the small scroll from its leg, and it pecked at the back of her hand before shoving its leg back out insistently with a glare at the confused girl.

"I don't even know who you belong to," she objected with a hiss.

The owl turned its head away from her but stayed where it was. Finally awake enough to be intrigued, Lily opened the scroll.

It had a total of five words on it.

[i]Evans,

Screw the rules.

-Black[/i]

Lily frowned at the long, rather wide package on her bed. She padded back across her room to open it. Inside, there was everything from Dungbombs to Nose-biting Teacups. A grin slowly broke across her face, and, in a rush of insight, she understood why the bloody stubborn owl hadn't left. She was meant to respond.

And she did. She packed an empty shoe box with everything her impromptu gift would need to operate and duct-taped it shut.

Her missive, like his, contained merely five words.

[i]Black,

Some Muggle magic.

-Evans[/i]

The next time, he ambushed her before she could even make it to her roommates' cabin on the train. He impatiently shoved her luggage beside his on the rack above their heads and practically tackled her into the seat.

He held up her gift-still in the shoe box- and demanded gruffly, "Explain."

Lily laughed, pushing him into the seat beside her and turning so one of her legs hung off the edge of the seat and the other rested between them, her knee falling on top of Sirius' thigh. "It's a Walkman."

"What in bloody buggering fuck is a Walkman?"

Lily giggled, and her soul felt lighter. "It's a portable music player."

Sirius yanked open the top of the box, pulling out one of the packs of backup batteries. "Your explanation is lacking." He shook the batteries in her face like that could shake the answer more quickly from her lips.

They sat huddled together for most of the train ride, Lily explaining the logic behind the Walkman, then how batteries could possibly power things, then how the tapes themselves worked. The headphones intrigued Sirius the most, though.

"You mean I can listen to something that no one else in the room will hear?"

Lily nodded so vigorously her waves of hair went flying all over the place.

"Muggles are brill." The awe in his voice was unmistakable.

Lily shared a carriage up to the castle with Sirius. When he'd tried to walk past her to the end of the Gryffindor table closest to the teachers' table in the Great Hall, Lily had rolled her eyes and hooked her hand into the crook of his elbow, making the house of the brave go silent as they watched her jerk him onto the bench beside her. Are they dating? What about Potter? The questions flew, and eyes flicked from Lily and Sirius to James and Remus at the other end of the table. Sirius made faces when the attention made him twitch, but Lily seemed unaffected. James gnashed his teeth together, while Remus kept casting confused looks down the table.

In another of their late nights in the Common Room, Sirius reached the last of his stories with the half-untold endings and paused. Lily had sat down, crisscross, with her blanket around her shoulders like a cape, by the fire and Sirius had plopped his head down in her lap without asking. He looked up at her, and she found that people looked wrong upside down. She knew the shape of Sirius' eyes. They should be right side up.

"I can't live like this."

"Upside down? I wouldn't want to. The logistics would be terrible. Would you hang from the ceiling? How would you control the blood flowing to your brain? What would it do to your bits?"

Sirius' one bark of laughter cut her off, but he didn't seem very amused.

"No. I-" Sirius closed his eyes and swallowed hard. Lily let go of her cape and brought her fingers to Sirius' scalp, gently finger-combing his hair.

After a few minutes, Sirius spoke again. "I'm a sham." He turned his face toward the fire, and Lily dropped her hands on the top of her thighs. Sirius sucked in a large breath, letting it go slowly. "I can't live the way they tell me to." The thread of his voice was weak, and Lily thought he was murmuring so she couldn't tell if he was about to cry.

"I've tried so damn hard, Lily. I screwed up, when I got Sorted into Gryffindor. It wasn't supposed to happen. I argued with the damn Hat." Sirius reached behind him until he found Lily's hand and squeezed it tight. "It put me in the house of the brave when I begged it to put me in Slytherin out of fear." Sirius' Adam's apple bobbed. "My parents are terrifying."

Lily expected that to be the end. She expected him to shut down and let silence fill the rest of the evening.

"They're going to bloody well kill me, Lils." The unexpected nickname made her stomach twist. When had everything changed so much? It hit her suddenly that she hadn't snarked at him and he hadn't pranked her since before he had visited her in the library. Sirius sat up and hunched over, burying his face in his palms. "I'm supposed to choose a girl to marry this summer." It didn't matter how quietly he spoke; Lily could hear the crack in his voice.

She scooted up right behind him, wrapping her arms around his back. She didn't understand, but she didn't have to. She only had to be there for him.

He started shaking. Lily held him tighter and pretended that she didn't know he was sobbing.

"I can't pretend like that. Merlin, Lils, they have a lineup of girls they want me to look at, and I can't do it, I can't do it." Lily rested her temple on Sirius' shoulder; she could see his hands trembling. "Oh, God, Lily, what are they going to do to me when they find out that I'm gay?"

Lily didn't have any time to question what Sirius has just plopped into her awareness, because he turned to cry into her arms and she ended up with a lapful of furry black mutt.

His face became smudged with the soot of restless slumber. Sirius hid from Lily as best he could for over a week before she stormed into the Common Room on Friday night and shouted over the din of all the students celebrating the weekend, "Sirius Orion Black!" The hush fell nearly instantly. "I will not be ignored." Lily grabbed Sirius' wrist as he tried to run up to his dormitory and shoved him in front of her, pushing at his shoulder blades to force him across the Common Room up into the girls' dormitory.

"What, Lils, I can't go up the stairca-"

"Screw the rules."

Sirius' feet stuck for a few seconds on the bottom step, but after the initial resistance, Sirius glided up the steps.

"Wait!" Sirius could hear Lily giggle as James rebounded off the invisible wall that had shimmered faintly around Sirius' body.

Lily shoved Sirius into her dorm and waves her hand in the vague direction of her bed- the only one that was actually made up. "Go, sit."

"Look, Lily, just forget you heard that thi-"

"I don't care." Lily stepped out of her shoes as she nudged Sirius onto her bed, sliding the curtain on the long side of her bed closed with a schlik across the metal bar, the gauzy material making Sirius' body an indistinct outline. Lily pulled her folded pajamas off the top of her trunk at the foot of her bed, making a silly face at Sirius before swinging back around and dropping her skirt. She undid her tie and addressed the Sirius-shaped shadow curled on her bed. "I'm a Mudblood, Sirius. I understand how prejudice works. Why would I patiently give my werewolf friend time enough to tell me his huge secret on his own but have a problem with a boy liking other boys?" Lily undid her buttons and dropped her shirt on the floor and stretched before unhooking her bra.

"Um, Lily? You know I can see you, right?"

"Are you affected?" Lily shrugged on her t-shirt and stepped into her sweatpants. She hopped on one foot to take off one of her knee-high argyle socks before shoving the curtains back and plopping herself on the side of her bed to take off her other sock.

Sirius stared at her. "You are a spectacular specimen, Lily Evans."

Lily grinned at him. "You do realize that I'm going to talk about boys with you, right?"

Sirius, who had been playing absentmindedly with a loose string on her pillow case, jolted. "What?" His voice was barely a whisper.

"Yeah. We have years of gossip to catch up on. Don't you know that all the girls have rated the Marauders?" Lily didn't even hesitate over the name, for she had made up her mind; the Marauders were sorely missing their fourth partner and needed him back.

Sirius' face contorted for a moment before he blew out a breath. "Really?"

"Yeah. You have the best hair. Peter is the sweetest. Remus has the best arse. Pott-"

Sirius choked and turned red, flailing around and somehow managing to fall off the other side of her bed.

Lily leaned over, her red curls creating a column from her face to his. "What was that about?" Lily cocked her head to one side as Sirius swatted at her hair. "Was it Peter being sweet? Or Remus' arse?"

Sirius spluttered, his face going crimson before he cupped his hands over his eyes.

Lily gasped, rolling off her bed and landing on his lap, slapping his chest with her open palm. "Get out! You have a thing for Lupin!"

Sirius sat up quickly and slammed his hands over her mouth. "Shut up!"

Lily squealed as well as she could around his hand, bouncing slightly in his lap. She batted his hands away impatiently. "Oh. My. God. How. Flipping. Cute." She frowned a bit. "What about the dog, though?"

Sirius frowned in thought, shooing Lily back onto the bed and getting comfortable beside her before quietly, in his own time, telling her about discovering Remus' secret. "I realize it's all rather insensitive, but James gave him the nickname 'Moony' in our Third Year."

Lily stared at him. "You're joking."

Sirius pursed his lips, shaking his head. "Nope," he replied, popping the 'p'. "Anyway, James, Peter, and I brainstormed ways to help Re-Moon-Lupin with his furry little problem." Sirius squeezed his eyes shut, jerking his head to the side so his hair created a curtain over his face.

Lily made a funny squawking noise, but managed- with monumental effort- to keep her mouth shut. She kneeled in front of his crossed legs, squirming to maintain her silence.

"Yes, 'furry little problem'. Also James' fault. He's a bit unaware of how things sound once they come out of his mouth." Sirius smiled fondly for a moment before continuing. "Anyway, we did some research- Don't laugh, Lils, it was important!- and found out that werewolves were less likely to attack themselves if other animals were with them. Not long after that, we saw Minnie do her Animagus thing, and Pete wondered out loud if we could convince her to spend the fulls with M-R-Lupin."

Hearing Sirius stumble over Remus' name and nickname- regardless of how insensitive said nickname was- before settling on his surname made a knot of confused emotions throb in the hollow between the bottom of Lily's ribcage and her belly button.

"James, in all of his Third Year glory, pounced on Pete screaming, 'That's it, that's it, you're a genius, Pete!' Once James regained coherency, we made some idiot excuse to-to-" Sirius breathed quickly, his chest rising and falling too inconsistently to be healthy.

"Lupin." Lily supplied.

Sirius nodded and swallowed, fumbling until he had her hand clasped in his. "And ran off to the library, finding all we could about becoming Animagi." Sirius shrugged. "We brewed all the potions. We did all the steps. I still gag when Professor Slughorn says the words 'mandrake leaf'." Lily giggled at the disgusted face he pulled. "The hardest part is transforming completely the first time. You have to be willing to give everything up to achieve your new form." Sirius' eyes unexpectedly filled with tears. Lily pushed up onto her knees, framing his face in her hands.

"Oh, Sirius." She pulled him down, resting his temple on her shoulder. He let out a strangled sob and wrapped his arms around her waist, letting his tears soak into her shirt.

Sirius slept there that night, cuddling her against his chest like he used to snuggle his stuffed kneazle before Walburga had told Kreacher to burn it.

The melted plastic of its eyes were still stuck to the wooden floor beside his bed at home.

Lily decided that dog-Sirius needed a name and tried out several before settling on 'Padfoot'.

Lily got her second detention three days later when James finally broke the Marauder's months-long ignoring of one Sirius Black. James had flicked his wand as Sirius and Lily passed the little trio on their way out of the Great Hall. Sirius, whose fingers were laced between Lily's, tripped.

Lily jerked to the side at the tug on her hand before frowning slightly at Sirius' body sprawled on the floor. She turned slowly, eyeing the messy head of hair in front of her icily. Grabbing a handful of Potter's shirt, she yanked him over the bench into the floor.

"Get up."

James did so with alacrity.

Lily stepped forward, fisting his collar and dragging his face down to hers. "Keep your magic to yourself," she hissed through her teeth.

She released him, flicking her hair over her shoulder as she flounced back to Sirius, who was tracking his eyes across the ceiling in an effort to pretend like Lily wasn't causing a scene for him.

"Yeah, what are you going to do about it?"

Lily whipped around once again, casting a spell that turned him into a puddle of Potter-goo.

Professor McGonagall stood abruptly. "Ms. Evans!"

"Yes, yes," Lily waved her hand absentmindedly as she tucked her other hand into the crook of Sirius' arm. "Detention and ten points from Gryffindor. I will be in your office promptly at eight." She smiled winningly and cajoled Sirius into skipping in tandem with her, her laugh fading into the hall.

A month later, Lupin came up to Lily and Sirius' table in Herbology, chewing nervously on his bottom lip.

"Erm, Lily?"

"Yes, Remus dear?" Sirius winced, and Lily smiled sympathetically at him and patted his arm as he stood, mumbling something incoherent to excuse himself.

Remus reached out as Sirius waved his open palm toward his now empty seat without making eye contact with the lanky boy in front of him. "Wait." Sirius jerked away from Remus' touch.

"Look, Lupin, just talk to Lils. There's an open table over there." He gestured vaguely to the nonexistent free table across the room.

"Won't you just- Sirius!" The lycanthrope wrapped a hand around Sirius' upper arm, smiling tightly at Lily. "I was wondering if you would switch partners with me, Lily."

Lily's lungs felt concave as she looked at Sirius' despondent face. "Are you alright, Sirius?"

Sirius shrugged.

Lily scanned his face quickly, nodding and standing when she saw the happy fire in his eyes, swishing her wand and sending her things painlessly into her bag. "I love you, Sirius. I am willing to be partnered with Potter."

Remus frowned. "But I asked to be switched."

"And if he didn't want to talk to you, my arse would still be in that chair."

"And what a fantastic arse it is."

Sirius eyed it playfully, and Lily wiggled her bum as she walked away with her bag slung over one shoulder, winking as she looked back at them.

Professor Sprout furrowed her brow worriedly when she saw the way her class had paired off, but carried on with only a slight pause when Lily dragged her stool to the short end of the table to get away from James' creeping hand.

Sirius dropped his arm over Lily's shoulders as soon as class was released, guiding her out the door of the greenhouse as quickly as he could.

"He thinks we're together." He dropped his arm once they were out of sight of the greenhouses.

Lily snorted. "The entire school thinks we're together. That's not some big surprise."

"He said I was betraying James." Sirius hunched his shoulders and shoved his fists into his pockets.

Lily swung into the path in front of him, making him stop short. "How are you betraying Potter?"

Sirius rolled his shoulders. "He likes you."

Lily rolled her eyes and started walking backwards on her toes. "That's ridiculous. He cannot be the only boy who has a silly crush on me. I do not belong to Potter." Lily turned and fell back in step with Sirius, hooking his pinkie with hers. "Well, why did he want to talk?"

"He wants me to meet all of them in the Common Room when everyone has gone to bed. Alone." He added when Lily opened her mouth to object.

Lily chewed on the inside of her lip for a moment before nodding. "I'll hide in the girls' stairwell." She stared hard at him when Sirius made a noise. "Three to one are not fair odds in any world. It's only because I care about you and your safety."

The muscles in Sirius' jaw tightened, but he nodded. "Only if you promise to stay in the stairwell until magic is cast."

Lily unwillingly agreed.

It was nearly one in the morning before Remus, James, and Peter made their way down into the Common Room from the boys' dormitories. Lily was sitting six steps up in the girls' stair, shrouded in shadow as Sirius stood by the fire.

"Look, Black," James' voice was steely, and it set Lily's teeth on edge. "You need to stop hanging around Lily. People are starting to talk about her, and that's just not on."

A deafening silence settled in for a few moments before Sirius broke it. "You asked me to be here to tell me that you don't approve of my new friendship?" He didn't even glance at James, simply stared into Remus' eyes.

Remus swallowed convulsively before answering. "We were supposed to be your friends." His accusatory tone made Sirius' hands shake. Lily's heart went out to him, but she kept her promise. "Really, we'd be doing her a favor, forcing you to leave her alone. She doesn't need terrible friends."

The sheer audacity they had, deciding who should and shouldn't be her friends! They weren't even her friends!

Evidently, Sirius thought similarly. "You three don't even talk to her. How could you know what she needs? I think she can make her own decisions without your help." His voice was very small. "Do you have anything else to say, or can I go sleep in Lily's bed now?" Lily bowed her head when Sirius' voice faltered. She could hear the tears he was choking back.

"Why don't you just go to Slytherin where you belong, pureblood?" The venom in Remus' voice must've done it.

There was a giant black mutt where Sirius had been standing moments before.

James and Peter were suddenly very excited, while Remus was beyond confused.

The dog whined pitifully, but Potter and Pettigrew stumbled over the explanation.

When Remus led the dog up into the boys' dorms, Lily felt a mix of elation, jealousy, and loss wash over her. The intention was always to heal the Marauders, but she would miss talking to Sirius.

She didn't get any sleep that night.

Marauding suddenly happened again, much to the professors' chagrin, though Lily had to put more effort into disapproving all the pranking.

Lily often had to leave the Common Room to keep herself from talking to Sirius. She knew he had his old friends back. He didn't need her anymore.