The odd and extremely greasy diaries of Prof. Severus Snape.
25th of December.
I received a diary for Christmas. It was from Dumbledore, he told me I wouldn't receive any other presents because I was so ugly and nobody liked me. He was wrong. Minerva gave me some roses. I didn't get her a present. Christmas is overrated in my opinion. Of course I got Dumbledore a present. I gave him a book called
"Never trust an ex-death eater claiming to be reformed and ending up killing you."
It's an excellent read, you know. Minerva seems to be a little annoyed at me for some odd reason. It might have something to do with the fact that I didn't get her anything.
Harry Potter is an evil idiot and I think he should be jailed and sent to hell. He gave me what I supposed was a present and then it turned out to be a snake, a defanged cobra. Except it wasn't defanged. Then they stuck a sign on my backside which said "Kick Me"
I was outraged. I suggested expulsion to Dumbledore but he got a little cross with me and suggested I wash my hair.
How outrageous!