That Was Pretty Random…

Its my first attempt at drabble so its not meant to be serious, just a little something to laugh you ass off at, nothing

RATING: M 2b safe

Pairing: All I know is that I'm going to hook Schezia (sp?) up with someone, I'm evil like that

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA if I did then my subordinates would get fired for slapping me for writing this XD

A/N: its 2 in the morning and I haven't slept in days, this is going to be totally ridiculous. Also 2pts for those who notice the Family Guy refrence. Please Review!

Roy Mustang laid back lasily in his chair. On a hot summer day such as this, Hawkeye on her rag with two loaded handguns couldn't get him to do paperwork. Jean walked into the room.

"Hey, I need Fullmetal's budget repot for the Furer."

"Sure Lieutenant, one sec."

Roy opened his desk drawer to retrieve the papers when he was suddenly attacked be the raccoon that was apparently dwelling there.

"Ah! Shit! God dahm it! Get this thing off of me Havoc! Mother- fu, Fury! GET IN HERE! NOW! Havoc what are you doing!"

He was on the floor, his shoulders shaking, though it appeared that he was in a laughing fit, one would find upon further inspection that he was choking on his ever present cigarette.

"Told you those things would kill you one day lieutenant."

The two paused in midstruggle to view their visitor: Havoc holding his neck while his face turned slowly blue and a bloody Mustang holding the raccoon arms length away.

Vato Falman was standing in the doorway, or at least it looked like Vato Falman.

The man in the door way was in a stained and ruffled military uniform that was unbuttoned almost to mid-chest. His hair was in disarray, but it worked in some strange way.

"Oh man, you should have been there guys, it was awesome, I mean Riza's party was off the hook! Who knew that Schezia could dance like that!

Mustang was even more interested.

"Like what? Dance like what! Oww damit you stupid rodent quit scratching me!"

Havoc was clawing at Roy's leg, his face purple.

Roy was now scraching the raccoon beheind the ear like a cat.

"They say chicks dig a guy with a pet."

"Merely a rumor Colonel"

The cigarette lodged in Jean Havoc's throat flew out and hit Falman in the face.

"Hey man what the hell was that for? You wanna fight or something, come on!"

Havoc didn't notice this coworker's ranting. His eyes, as well as Mustang's were still locked on Hawkeye, in a MINISKIRT.

Jean stood up and walked over to Riza. He poked her face with his right index finger.

"Ow! That hurt, what are you doing Lieutenant?"

"It is you, in a, in a, a-a-a-a"

"Miniskirt, yea I know. I forgot to do laundry."

The two men gawked.

"Ah, Vato I see you didn't change before coming in this morning."

"Riza dear, your party was completely.

"Awesome, I know. When I throw a party I go all out."

"How come I wasn't invited?"

"I assumed that you didn't want to come, I told Edward to deliver your invitations."

"That runt!"

Suddenly Edward Elric busted through the door, arm transmuted into a dagger.

"Who are you calling a puppy so small that it's the last to be picked for adoption?"

Havoc was on his knees at Riza's feet.

"Will you marry me?"

A drop of blood dripped from his nose. Riza smiled and got down on her knees in front of him. She ran her fingers slowly threw his hair; her face drew closer to his. His dopey smiled widened.

"Ahhh!"

Click

She had a hand full of the lecher's hair and was yanking back as hard as she could; gun barrel pressed on his nose.

Fury and Schezia walked in, his arm around her waist.

"Riza! Great party! Right babe?"

"Right Cainy bear!"

Mustang was still stroking the raccoon which he had dubbed freckles.

"Oh Colonel you found my raccoon! I was worried about him!"

Cain walked towards Mustang arms extended towards freckles.

"No dammit! Get away from my freckles! I'll burn you to a crisp!"

The Furer walked in and his jaw dropped.

"What is going on here? I was told that this was the most well behaved sector in Central! I'm going to payroll right now and canceling those pay raises I sent in!"

"NOOOOOO!"

The Furer walked out slamming the door behind him. All was silent until Falman made an observation.

"Hey where's Breda?"

M E A N W H I L E . . .

A certain canine phobic military officer walked into his new assignment, he had been transferred to the east HQ at the request of Lt. Colonel Maes Hughes. All he was told is that He was to be training the new recruits.

"What the…"

As he opened the door to his new office he saw nothing but kennels, dog kennels. Maes sat at home sniggering.

Every one but Maes lived miserably ever after.

T H E E N D