Danny stared down at his clean wrist. There was a big blue vein bulging near his tendon. He bit his lip. Things had been hard lately. Harder then it should be. It had been three days since the death of Reuben Sandavol, and Danny couldn't help but blame himself. If he hadn't had stayed with the beaten man, or of he hadn't told Reuben to go home, he'd still be here.
"FUCK" yelled Danny punching a hole into the wall. Tears began streaming down his face. He was crawling his way to the kitchen to grab a bottle of vodka.
He sat on the floor with his back to the cabinet, his knees to his chest. He took a swig of the vodka and looked at his deep blue vein.
"I'm so sorry Reuben," he whispered grabbing an empty beer bottle from beside him. He crashed it into the floor and found the sharpest piece he could. Taking another drink, he softly slid it across his wrist. A thin crimson line arose. He closed his eyes and sliced again on the same line. Then again. And again. And again.
He watched blood trickle down his arm into a small pool beside him. His bottle was almost empty.
He kept slicing and smiled when he realised he couldn't feel it anymore.
Was it because it was deep, or because he was beyond wasted.
He closed his eyes hoping to never open them.
A knock on the door took him out of his sleep.
"Danny, Danny open up!" Yelled Flack from the hallway.
Danny didn't have the strength to move.
"I'm coming in Danny," said his boyfriend. He had a key to his apartment, just like Danny had one to Flacks.
"Danny?"
He made a small sobbing sound and banged his head hard against the cabinet.
Flack walked in to the kitchen, "Danny!" He yelled. He rushed to his side.
"Danny." He whispered getting a rag from the counter and soaking it with cold water.
Flack examined the cut and cursed himself for being only a detective. He wrapped his wrist in the rag and tied it tightly. He did know pressure stopped bleeding. Flack had tears running down his face as he held Danny close to his chest. Danny was sobbing.
"I killed him. It's my fucking fault!"
"Shh baby. No shh. It's not your fault." Soothed Don running his hand through Danny's hair.
Flack kissed the top of Danny's head.
"I'm so sorry Don I'm so fucking sorry."
Flack held him even closer, "I love you Danny. I love you so much."
"I love you Don."
Flack kissed Danny passionately. He softly bit at Danny's lip. He slithered his tongue into Danny's mouth holding him tightly.
Danny kissed down the side of Dons neck, rubbing his hands up and down under Flacks shirt.
"See your just wasted and thinking about the past again, darling you'll be okay." Sang Don against Danny's lips. A tear fell down his cheek as he pushed Don to the ground and crawled on top of him, kissing him hard. His erection was pushing through his jeans.
"Has it stopped bleeding?" Whispered Flack.
Danny sat up off of Flack and opened the rag.
"Let me see."
Don ran his thumb across, as if caressing the wound would heal it. You could see the little lumps of fat and other veins and tendons.
"You need to go to the hospital."
Danny shook his head, "they'll lock me up."
Flack thought for a minute.
"I'll call Hawkes. I'll tell Mac I need to take time off."
Danny nodded. Flack grabbed Danny by the shoulder helping him up.
"Let's get you on the couch."
Danny couldn't walk straight from all the alcohol. He stumbled until Flack decided to pick him up. He held him, setting him softly on the couch. Flack went to walk to the kitchen but Danny grabbed his wrist.
"Please... Stay."
Don nodded, sitting under his feet holding his hand. He dialled Hawkes number.
"Hey Hawkes it's Don. I'm over at Danny's and we need a doctor. Bring something to treat a deep cut. I'll tell you more once you're here."
Flack held Danny's hand rubbing his thumb in circles.
Hawkes arrived 15 minutes after Flack had called him.
"Hey Hawkes we're in here!"
Hawkes came in with his forensics kit. Danny had fallen asleep while they were waiting.
"What happened?"
"He slit his wrist with part of a beer bottle. He had been drinking a lot."
"Danny?" Said Hawkes shaking his shoulder lightly.
Danny opened his eyes slightly.
Hawkes unwrapped the rag.
"It's really deep. I'm gonna need to stitch it up. Why didn't you take him to the hospital?"
"He'd get put in the psych ward, and you can imagine how the press would act over it."
Hawkes nodded.
Flack went on, "I'm taking time off to take care of him. Is he gonna be okay?"
"He hit a vein but he'll be fine."
Flack was a bit squeamish to this kind of thing, so here carefully got up, only to have his hand grabbed.
Flack kissed his forehead, "I'm gonna make a call to Mac, I'll be right back."
Hawkes had had his suspicions about the two men's relationship, but he wasn't quick to assume.
Flack dialled macs number as he walked into the kitchen.
"Mac hey it's Flack."
"Flack it's 1 am."
"I know I'm sorry to call you so late. I need to take some time off work."
"Why?"
"Danny isn't doing so well and he sort of needs me."
"Okay. Take all that you need. Call me if you guys need anything."
"Thanks Mac."
"No problem. Take care of him Don."
"Thanks Mac. Night"
Flack hung up the phone and went back into the living room.
"Almost done," said Hawkes smiling at Danny.
"Thanks doc."
Once Hawkes finished he packed up his kit. "Flack can I talk to you in the kitchen?"
He nodded with Hawkes following him.
"Did Mac let you take time off?"
He nodded. "Ya he said take as much as needed."
"Good, keep an eye on him. If he seems like a harm to himself take him to the hospital."
Don nodded, a tear rolling down his cheek. "Hey he'll be fine." Whispered Hawkes giving Flack a hug.
"I love him sheldon."
"I know."
Don looked at Hawkes. "I need to get back to him, and you need sleep."
Hawkes nodded, "call me if you need anything."
Flack nodded and showed Hawkes out.
He walked back to the living room to find Danny asleep on the couch.
He picked up a blanket and threw it over him, then laid next to him holding his hand.
"I didn't even feel it," whispered Danny through parted lips.
Don was silent.
"Don?"
"Ya Danny?"
"Will you lay with me?"
Flack smiled softly. "There isn't much room on the couch."
"There's plenty on the bed."
Flack smiled grabbing Danny's good arm and pulling him up. He helped him walk to the bedroom and get on the bed.
Flack wrapped his arms around Danny protectively while they laid on their side.
"Danny?"
"Yea Don."
"Were you trying to kill yourself?"
Danny was silent. Flack understood and kissed Danny placing soft kisses on his neck. Danny held on to Flacks hand as he closed his eyes and drifted to sleep.