Crippled
Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN GW!!!!!!! *SOB* I WANNA I WANNA I WAANNAAAAAAA!! Oo…chocolate… =^-^=
Rating: um…really bad lang…and I dunno…I'm puttin' R I guess for now.
Authors note: FEED BACK PWEASE!! *POUT* I hate begging! ( *sniff* I don't mind critisim. But I wanna know if you guys think that I should continue this story…okay? I know it sounds weird so far…but I wanna know what you think of it. I really don't mind. Thanks guys! =^-^= MUAH!
Chapter One: Nothing
I'm nothing. Nothing but a perfect tool. And the perfect fuck toy. I'm so fucking sick of all the shit they put me through. I don't really care at the same time. I'm used to it. Used to the beatings and the rapes. But I always get my revenge. I always kill them slowly when I can. Using a gun is a mercy death at times though. And right now, I have no mercy. They hate me because they fear me. The other pilots try to figure me out but none prevail. Except Trowa maybe…he…understands. Though he's not referred to that 'perfect' shit. If I'm so perfect, why did I kill the girl and that puppy? If I'm so perfect, why can't I kill ignorant Relena? Why did I fall for Trowa? Of all people. I mean…he's more dead than me. He literally has nothing left. But he has family. I don't. But he said that I was a part of his family. Duo, Duo belongs to everyone I suppose. But I want to kill him too. He doesn't fear emotions or people or living. I have nothing to live for.
I am nothing.
"PAY ATTENTION YOU LITTLE BASTARD!"
Fucking guard. Fucking Oz. Fucking Barton association. I'll kill all of you, gladly. I'll break all of your fingers and toes slowly, and squeeze the circulation out of them too. Then I'll shoot each of them off. But not at the base. I'll start from the top joint and down.
The guard slammed into my face with his fist. It hurt. But it was nothing that I couldn't take. So these are the assholes whole hurt Trowa basically all of his life. I wonder how many times he forgot things, with the way they keep hitting me in my head. Hell, no wonder he never really remembered his past. He didn't hide all of it. He truly never knew…but he knew the pain. No wonder he's so aggressive when you touch him. I'd be. I don't know what I would do though. And now I understand why he never likes to be closed in much. All of these jackasses are cluttering me. Beating me with metals, fists, feet, wood that splinters into my skin. They gag me with material and their fucking filthy cocks. And Snapper…I shudder at that thought…the nine tailed whip that they used on Trowa that literally took all of the skin off of his back… you should see his scars…I got a glimpse once…his back is hardly smooth…not with all those ridges of the scars overlapping each other to find somewhere to heal….it was almost repulsive because I thought of what they did to him. He didn't have to share what they did, I had enough good ideas. And now I know why he flinches slightly when anything makes a 'snap' sound. He hates cameras. Never take his picture. Duo found that one out for sure. Trowa punched him in his face and left somewhere for a few days, not calling us or anything.
The guard grabbed my hair roughly as I dazed out again. This is one hell of a long day. My thoughts go back to the pilots. Quatre, he has everything. Yes, he lost a part of his innocence, but he doesn't really know it. I think that he denies it. And Wufei. He's strong. And passionate. Where am I learning all of these things? I feel a burning sensation running up from my abused bottom. I feel two, no…three of their rough riding and semen and blood covered cocks. I will kill them…I will kill J. I hate them. I hate everyone…I will kill everyone that comes near me. I can see me killing the others, for they can live. All of them but Trowa…I want him here with me…but I want to hurt him. He's the reason why I'm here. He had to get captured. And I had to go save him. Maybe he came here to die…this is the only place he knows. It's not a nice home…but it was his home. But his heart was never here. He never had it. He never had the chance to have one…like me…but I had to get captured. Why couldn't that idiot be strong like he always is? Why did he have to have a death wish?! Why did he run from me? Why am I caring…why am I so imperfect? Am I human? Or am I nothing…no…I'm nothing. But he cared if I died. So why does he think that I won't care if he dies?! Doesn't he think that I'd actually…cry for him? Would I? No…yes…yes, I would…I need him…I think that I love him…I want to protect him… he's always protecting me…so why? Why do I feel like nothing? Why do I want to live? Why do I want to die? Why am I asking all of these unimportant questions. The important one is, how?
I'm losing consciousness again. It's kind of funny…I was completely pissed off just a moment ago, but now I'm calm…all I see is Trowa's face…and…I feel…
~/O\__,__/O\~
Well…that's chapter one. Really weird…-_-;; dang…I can't write lol. Well, I'll let ya go for now. Oh! I couldn't work on my other story because….ilostthestoryboard… but I will be looking for it in my room! A really…REALLY…really hard task -_-;; big mess, but that's a normal teenager thing, ne?
Love,
Mckayel