Tessa could still not believe she was going through this. Marrying Jem . Yet here she a carriage riding to a church Jem picked out. She loved him she really did. But she still didn't know if this was what she wanted. It was all Will's fault. Making her doubt whether she really wanted to marry Jem . As the carriage hit a bump she remembered the night previous. Morning had made her a little bitter with Will. Though she still loved him just like she promised. She always closed her eyes.

She had been reading in the music room. A Tale of Two Cities staring up at her yet she could not force her eyes to focus on the page. This was rather unusual . She always was interested no matter how many times she read it. Tessa scolded herself. Face it she thought your thinking about Will. She was of course , but these days she was always thinking about Will. He had insisted on spending his entire day in his bedroom. No one knew why. No one but Tessa. He had made her think What if Jem had decided to wait to tell me that day. And Will didn't ? Would she be on her way to marry someone else? But Tessa knew there was nothing she could do to change that . That's when she heard the door creak open. " Tessa? Are you in here?" She had been expecting Jem.

" Will?" Tessa had asked hesitantly. "What are you doing in here?" He looked as if he had been crying all day he also had a rather large gash on his arm. He was wearing his gear. Though it was bloody and torn to shreds. Before he could reply she dropped her book and rushed over . " Oh, Will, are you all right? Why are you all bloody? Shouldn't you be in the infirmary?" She had said in a rushed worried tone.

" Do calm down Tessa. I'll live. Jem told me you would be in here." He had begun to stroll to the other side of the room where she had dropped A Tale of Two Cities. She attempted to rush over. Her attempts where however useless . The room was rather dark so she had trouble trying not to run into things. " Really Tess, A Tale of Two Cities again? You'd think it would have lost some interest with how many times you've read in the past week. "

He is trying for a light tone she could see it in the tension of his body, and his words. This must have been causing him so much pain . Me going through with marrying Jem . She had thought after all those months maybe he had stopped loving her. She had hoped. Because she couldn't bear the thought of Will being alone for the remainder of his life. Before she could think it through she said

" Yes ,Will .And how many times have you read it ? Hmm?" She had said it in a conversational tone , but shot him a look that was challenging and he sighed.

" I suppose you have a do you really never get tired of the same book?" He finally tore his gaze from the book to her. He raised his eyebrows about a centimeter .

" I guess not. Some books just constantly need to be taken into a new perspective." She said his quite evenly and was rather proud of herself. For her thoughts had been itching to ask many other questions. Such as ...What was Will doing in here? Where was Jem? Had someone told Jem? If so who found out ? What were they going to do about it? Was Will going to tell her something important ? What would have happened that fateful day months ago ,if she had declined Jem's question of whether he could come into her bedroom? If Will had still proclaimed his love for her?

" Tess, I haven't found anyone else if that's what your staring of into space about. I do want to talk to you about something though. Since you are marrying him tomorrow... Just don't lie to him. Always tell him what your feeling. Know one ever knows what's going on inside your head. So you really just aught to let him know. " He turned his gaze towards Tessa again . And in that moment rather irrationally she wanted to tell Will that she was in love with him.

" Does this rule also apply to you, Will? If so you will most likely regret it for a long time. But if you do I swear on my Aunt Harriet's grave I won't lie to you." She stared right into Will's eyes when she said this. His blue night sky eyes she had dreamed in for so wanted to tell she really ,really loved him. She wanted him to know . And for the sake of her sanity she wanted Jem to know no matter how much it hurt to do so. Slowly he replied.

" Yes I'd like to know for once." She could almost hear herself sigh with relief.

" Thank God. I was worried you were going to say no. I am going to regret this later and you probably are too. But I have to tell you . I will probably else wise go insane. " She finished her walk across the room and took Will's large hands into her own smaller ones. He did not bother to mask his surprise .

" Tessa, what are you-" She quickly cut of his words.

" Please just let me finish before you say anything. Will ..." This was her moment to turn back. Before she said anything she regretted . She plowed forwards anyway. " Will I love you. William I should have told you that day. I really should have . I can't even believe I'm telling you now. But I have loved you and I'm sorry. Since the moment you had walked out of the drawing room all I have wanted was to comfort you. Make you smile again . I wanted you to be happy! I had always hoped that you found someone else to make you happy since I could not. But you never did stop loving me . Because I could see it in the pain in your eyes every morning that you forced yourself to go to meals. So everything would appear to be fine. But it wasn't and it was my fault. I love you. I love you . I love you. I'm so sorry William . " by the time she had finished her head was on Will's chest and she was sobbing. They had dropped to the ground , leaning against the wall. Will had scooped her up and was holding her close to his heart. They stayed like that for a few minutes. All they could here was their heartbeats and the clockwork angel marking the seconds that had gone Will broke the silence .

" Tess, it's alright I forgive you . But, what are you are you going to do about it now? Are you going to tell Jem? Or are you still going to marry him tomorrow ? Do you still love him?" He said it quietly. Still trying to sound distant. But Tessa didn't care. She waited for a few minutes. " What are you going to do Tess ?"

" I love it when you call me Tess , no one else does." She had thought this but she had also said it aloud.

" You know it would break his heart if you couldn't marry him tomorrow ." Will said " I know but , just don't know what to do Will. Because I love you. But I also love Jem. I don't want to leave him because then he would be alone for the rest of his life. Now that he's cured he would have a whole life to live alone still loving me. But then so would you. And I don't wish that on anyone." Will had begun to stroke her hair. She hadn't realized it had come out of it's pins .

" Would you like to hear what I think?" Will said gently. Tessa gave a silent nod into his gear. " I think you should wait till morning to figure this whole mess out. You will most likely be more capable of thinking rational thoughts in the morning after a good nights sleep." She nodded again into him.

" Will, will walk me to my room?" She whispered . He then said

" I have a better idea." She looked into his eyes with concern. " Not that. Do you honestly not trust me to be a gentleman?" She raised her eyebrow . " Touché ." Remembering their first kiss. He then proceeded to stand up with her in his arms. As he closed the music room doors Tessa looked up at Will's face. He looked calm, but also quite smug. He had a small grin on his face. " I can't help it . It's all a little satisfying. Knowing you loved me aaaall along."

" WILL!" Will turned around . It was Jem . "Who are you- Why are you carrying Tessa ? At four in the morning? You were supposed to be in the infirmary! Now you've gotten blood all over her! Is she all right?" Tessa had closed her eyes during the entire transaction.

" She's fine, I found her asleep in the music room with A Tale of Two Cities I didn't want to wake her up. So I figured I would take her up to her own bed so she could get a decent nights sleep before her wedding. Shouldn't you be asleep right now?" Will lied smoothly.

" I , ah , well I guess your right. I was just going to - well I had better go to bed now ." He turned around to his bedroom door and closed it quietly.

"He sounds highly suspicious . Don't you think? But you had better go to sleep and think about it in the morning. I would talk to Jem before you decide. I love you Tessa." He says as he sets Tessa gently down onto her bed. He quietly pulls up her covers and plants a kiss on her forehead.

" Just remember no matter what you decide I 'll still love you." Tessa whispers to him. He walks out the door without saying a word.

Sorry if that was a bit confusing . This is my first fanfic and I'm a little nervous. So if you read this don't you dare move on without hitting that little review button. Jus tell me exactly what you thought. Good or bad . Because if its horrible I promise this will be my last story and will go back to writing I love you's in my reviews. So there. And yes I case your wondering I probably should be in a crazy home.

Adios , nos vemos, con mucho amor de buenas noches, DarkLove9