Title: Mud
Pairing: Webb and the Kids
Summary: Kids will be kids.
Archiving: Just let me know
Disclaimer: As If
Rating: G
A/N: A short piece in the JTH universe.
"CJ in the tub now.....Get back in here." Said an exasperated Clayton Webb as he chased his naked and mud covered fifteen month-old son down the hallway. He finally caught him as he was about to take a header down the stairs.
"Uncle Clay, I'm not supposed to be in the tub by myself!" Young AJ Roberts yelled at the top of his lungs.
"OK AJ, I'm here along with the escape artist." Clay said as he unceremoniously dumped his son into the tub with the older boy. CJ continued to giggle treating the almost disaster like a great adventure.
"You've been hanging around with your Uncle Harm much too much," Clay muttered to himself. Just then he heard a pitiful wail from down the hall.
"AJ do not let him get out of the tub, and no you're not alone in the tub. CJ is with you, I've got to go get your little sister." He turned to the still giggling toddler. "CJ do not get out of this tub, do you hear me?" I ordered again.
The little boy looked back at him with his mother's chocolate brown eyes and said, "doan geh ow of de tub, yes Papa" The boy could sell ice to the Eskimos with those eyes and that angelic smile.
"I'll watch him Uncle Clay. I'm a big boy; I'll be six tomorrow you know." AJ said proudly.
"I know that AJ, but I'll let you explain to your Mom and Aunt Sarah how you two conveniently fell into flower garden and found the hose. OK?" AJ's eyes grew wide as saucers.
"I'll keep him in the tub even if I have to sit on him!" AJ swore as Clay left to get the by now screaming May.
"Don't go that far, just hold onto his hand." By the time Clay reached May she was red-faced and her face was twisted with infantile rage.
"Hey, hey little May." He crooned to her as he picked up the almost three- year-old girl from the playpen. Her crying stopped immediately and she began to laugh he as blew raspberries on her tummy.
"Like that, do you?" Clay teased.
She continued to giggle as he carried her to the bathroom to find AJ industriously bathing the garden soil from CJ's body. It amazed Clay that the two of them had gotten so filthy in the time it took to put May down for her nap. In less than five minutes the only thing you could see on their faces was their eyes and teeth as they giggled and tossed mud at each other. It was everything Clay could do to keep from laughing as he pulled them both of them out of Sarah's prized rose garden.
He stood May by the side of the tub and finished bathing the two boys. AJ dried himself as Clay toweled off CJ. He herded all three children into the nursery and dressed CJ. He again admonished AJ to keep both children with him as he shut the door and went to guest room to find some of the clothing Harriet left for him. When he returned the two toddlers were lying in the single 'big boys' bed on either side of AJ as he read a story.
Both children were enthralled as AJ read the simple rhymes of Dr. Seuss's 'One Fish, Two Fish'. Clay quickly grabbed one of the digital cameras strategically located through out the house and snapped several shots. He then made himself known by coughing. AJ looked up.
"I kept them here Uncle Clay." He proudly said.
"That you did AJ. Here's some clothes to put on." AJ held up his arms and let Clay assist him into a t- shirt then Spiderman underwear.
"Finis weeding the stowy AJ," prompted his sister.
"Yes AJ, weed." CJ piped in.
The six year old continued to read the story until both of the little ones nodded off. Clay scooped up CJ and placed him in his crib, then placed May in the playpen. When he turned back to AJ he found him curled up sound asleep. He covered him, turned on the baby monitor and went downstairs.
He went into the den and started picking up the toys that the three active children had pulled out over the course of the morning. There were equal amount of educational toys and just fun stuff. All were well used but in good condition. If anything could be taken apart AJ found it, carefully watched by the other two. He then carefully put it back together again assisted by CJ and May. Bud swore the three of them were going to open an auto repair shop at this rate.
When he was done he made himself a sandwich and ate it as he read the morning paper. Lunch finished he began to prepare the food for the barbeque that he and Sarah were hosting tonight. Much of the JAG gang and a few CIA friends were attending. Sarah and Harriet were out purchasing last minute items and Bud was picking up the beer after clearing some things up at the office. Clay had volunteered to watch the children. He knew he didn't have his wife and friends fooled; he loved to baby-sit the kids and generally had no trouble with them. The dirt bath not withstanding.
Clay was busily dicing and slicing vegetables for various salads when Bud returned with the beer and soda.
"The kids asleep?" Bud queried as he hauled the first of the liquid refreshments into the kitchen.
"Yes, for about an hour now. AJ read a story and all three conked out within minutes of each other. And the boys have been bathed."
"Why do I feel like there is a story behind that comment?"
"Because there is. Let's ice the beer and soda down and then you can help me disguise the mysterious hole in the rose garden." Clay managed to say with a straight face.
"Are there pictures to go along with this story?" Bud asked knowing there had to be. Clay had turned into a total shutterbug since CJ had been born.
Clay looked at Bud and gave him an innocent looks while saying, "Pictures, Moi?" Then spoiling it all by breaking into laughter as he began to relate the events of the morning. Bud looked at the photos on the digital camera.
"I've got to print these, they're priceless. Do you have photo paper?"
At Clay's 'are you kidding me look' Bud said, "You want me to print some for your Mom?"
"Definitely. Every time he acts like a 'wild child' as my wife calls his antics, I have to have proof to show Mother. She's convinced her grandchild would never do such things. I have to keep reminding her that he's as bad as I was."
"Just how bad were you?" Bud asked as they began poring ice over the tubs of beverages.
"Well by the time I was five I had let the horses out of the stalls at least a half dozen times. I felt it was mean to cage up the nice horsies. Mom was at her wits end. The last time it happened I let the stallion out of his stall. Needless to say he was happy but the mares weren't. Mother about had a stroke. I didn't walk well for a week, and I didn't let the horses out again."
The two men traded stories of their various adventures until they were both hoarse with laughter. They managed to fix the garden and get ready for the party while trying to out do each other with outrageous tales of their childhoods. Their wives came home and noticed the two men on the deck laughing.
"What have they done now?" Sarah asked Harriet.
"I don't know but when they are both almost falling down laughing something is going on." Harriet replied as she opened the door to the deck.
"Okay you two, what's going on?" She asked.
The men just shook their head as if to say 'you wouldn't understand you foolish woman'. Harriet just tisked in disgust and returned to the kitchen.
"I don't think anything happened, they didn't look guilty enough."
"They didn't do anything. Take a look at this." Sarah said as she handed Harriet the camera. She was going to make him squirm over this one later.
Two smiling mud covered faces flanked by rose bushes stared back at her.
"And we leave the children with Clay because...." Harriet facetiously asked.
"Because he loves them and enjoys babysitting, and he lets me buy as many pair of shoes as I want and doesn't say a word. Except for an occasional 'Imelda' when he thinks I not listening." She replied with a smile.
"You know we both got winners with those two. By the way when are you going to tell Clay about the bun in the oven?"
"Well, he knows, but he doesn't know that I know he knows." Sarah said with a straight face.
"Excuse me?"
"Clay knows my body much better than my gynecologist. He's noticed the tell tale changes. He's just waiting for me to confirm it."
"When are you going to tell him?"
"Tonight after the party. You're still taking CJ to your house tonight?"
"Of course. AJ has his entire birthday morning planned and it includes one CJ Webb, one Daniel Chegwidden, pancakes, and vast amounts of syrup. And May can be included also, but only if she doesn't behave like a girl."
"Well considering she is just as involved in all the trouble they get into, I don't think she'll get too girly." Sarah mused.
"Who will get too girly?" Bud asked as he and Clay walked into the kitchen.
"Your daughter. Ever since AJ started school he's had it with girls. May can't understand why he's acting that way. AJ has been having 'words' with one of the girls in his class and is painting all girls with the same brush."
"I'll have a talk with him sweetie, but I think the girls have cooties stage is here for a while." Bud offered.
The adults all laughed at the comment, and continued to prepare for the party. The barbeque was a huge success and eventually Clay and Sarah said goodnight to the last guests and wearily climbed the stairs to their bedroom.
"Alone at last," Clay said as he waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
"Yes we are. Have any plans?" She said as she swatted him on the rear and rushed past him to the bath.
"Let's see. You, me, a Jacuzzi, bubbles, a bed, young child with friends. I think I can come up with a plan or two." He said as he began filling the large tub.
"Clay I have a question for you." At his inquiring gaze she continued. "Do you remember the Bill Cosby routine about never knowing 'who did it' if you have more than one child."
"I was wondering when you were going to tell me. When are we going to be parents again?" He asked as he gathered her into his arms.
"I could give you the details but suffice it to say, in a little over seven months." She whispered into his ear. "Now tell me about my rose bushes?"
The End
Pairing: Webb and the Kids
Summary: Kids will be kids.
Archiving: Just let me know
Disclaimer: As If
Rating: G
A/N: A short piece in the JTH universe.
"CJ in the tub now.....Get back in here." Said an exasperated Clayton Webb as he chased his naked and mud covered fifteen month-old son down the hallway. He finally caught him as he was about to take a header down the stairs.
"Uncle Clay, I'm not supposed to be in the tub by myself!" Young AJ Roberts yelled at the top of his lungs.
"OK AJ, I'm here along with the escape artist." Clay said as he unceremoniously dumped his son into the tub with the older boy. CJ continued to giggle treating the almost disaster like a great adventure.
"You've been hanging around with your Uncle Harm much too much," Clay muttered to himself. Just then he heard a pitiful wail from down the hall.
"AJ do not let him get out of the tub, and no you're not alone in the tub. CJ is with you, I've got to go get your little sister." He turned to the still giggling toddler. "CJ do not get out of this tub, do you hear me?" I ordered again.
The little boy looked back at him with his mother's chocolate brown eyes and said, "doan geh ow of de tub, yes Papa" The boy could sell ice to the Eskimos with those eyes and that angelic smile.
"I'll watch him Uncle Clay. I'm a big boy; I'll be six tomorrow you know." AJ said proudly.
"I know that AJ, but I'll let you explain to your Mom and Aunt Sarah how you two conveniently fell into flower garden and found the hose. OK?" AJ's eyes grew wide as saucers.
"I'll keep him in the tub even if I have to sit on him!" AJ swore as Clay left to get the by now screaming May.
"Don't go that far, just hold onto his hand." By the time Clay reached May she was red-faced and her face was twisted with infantile rage.
"Hey, hey little May." He crooned to her as he picked up the almost three- year-old girl from the playpen. Her crying stopped immediately and she began to laugh he as blew raspberries on her tummy.
"Like that, do you?" Clay teased.
She continued to giggle as he carried her to the bathroom to find AJ industriously bathing the garden soil from CJ's body. It amazed Clay that the two of them had gotten so filthy in the time it took to put May down for her nap. In less than five minutes the only thing you could see on their faces was their eyes and teeth as they giggled and tossed mud at each other. It was everything Clay could do to keep from laughing as he pulled them both of them out of Sarah's prized rose garden.
He stood May by the side of the tub and finished bathing the two boys. AJ dried himself as Clay toweled off CJ. He herded all three children into the nursery and dressed CJ. He again admonished AJ to keep both children with him as he shut the door and went to guest room to find some of the clothing Harriet left for him. When he returned the two toddlers were lying in the single 'big boys' bed on either side of AJ as he read a story.
Both children were enthralled as AJ read the simple rhymes of Dr. Seuss's 'One Fish, Two Fish'. Clay quickly grabbed one of the digital cameras strategically located through out the house and snapped several shots. He then made himself known by coughing. AJ looked up.
"I kept them here Uncle Clay." He proudly said.
"That you did AJ. Here's some clothes to put on." AJ held up his arms and let Clay assist him into a t- shirt then Spiderman underwear.
"Finis weeding the stowy AJ," prompted his sister.
"Yes AJ, weed." CJ piped in.
The six year old continued to read the story until both of the little ones nodded off. Clay scooped up CJ and placed him in his crib, then placed May in the playpen. When he turned back to AJ he found him curled up sound asleep. He covered him, turned on the baby monitor and went downstairs.
He went into the den and started picking up the toys that the three active children had pulled out over the course of the morning. There were equal amount of educational toys and just fun stuff. All were well used but in good condition. If anything could be taken apart AJ found it, carefully watched by the other two. He then carefully put it back together again assisted by CJ and May. Bud swore the three of them were going to open an auto repair shop at this rate.
When he was done he made himself a sandwich and ate it as he read the morning paper. Lunch finished he began to prepare the food for the barbeque that he and Sarah were hosting tonight. Much of the JAG gang and a few CIA friends were attending. Sarah and Harriet were out purchasing last minute items and Bud was picking up the beer after clearing some things up at the office. Clay had volunteered to watch the children. He knew he didn't have his wife and friends fooled; he loved to baby-sit the kids and generally had no trouble with them. The dirt bath not withstanding.
Clay was busily dicing and slicing vegetables for various salads when Bud returned with the beer and soda.
"The kids asleep?" Bud queried as he hauled the first of the liquid refreshments into the kitchen.
"Yes, for about an hour now. AJ read a story and all three conked out within minutes of each other. And the boys have been bathed."
"Why do I feel like there is a story behind that comment?"
"Because there is. Let's ice the beer and soda down and then you can help me disguise the mysterious hole in the rose garden." Clay managed to say with a straight face.
"Are there pictures to go along with this story?" Bud asked knowing there had to be. Clay had turned into a total shutterbug since CJ had been born.
Clay looked at Bud and gave him an innocent looks while saying, "Pictures, Moi?" Then spoiling it all by breaking into laughter as he began to relate the events of the morning. Bud looked at the photos on the digital camera.
"I've got to print these, they're priceless. Do you have photo paper?"
At Clay's 'are you kidding me look' Bud said, "You want me to print some for your Mom?"
"Definitely. Every time he acts like a 'wild child' as my wife calls his antics, I have to have proof to show Mother. She's convinced her grandchild would never do such things. I have to keep reminding her that he's as bad as I was."
"Just how bad were you?" Bud asked as they began poring ice over the tubs of beverages.
"Well by the time I was five I had let the horses out of the stalls at least a half dozen times. I felt it was mean to cage up the nice horsies. Mom was at her wits end. The last time it happened I let the stallion out of his stall. Needless to say he was happy but the mares weren't. Mother about had a stroke. I didn't walk well for a week, and I didn't let the horses out again."
The two men traded stories of their various adventures until they were both hoarse with laughter. They managed to fix the garden and get ready for the party while trying to out do each other with outrageous tales of their childhoods. Their wives came home and noticed the two men on the deck laughing.
"What have they done now?" Sarah asked Harriet.
"I don't know but when they are both almost falling down laughing something is going on." Harriet replied as she opened the door to the deck.
"Okay you two, what's going on?" She asked.
The men just shook their head as if to say 'you wouldn't understand you foolish woman'. Harriet just tisked in disgust and returned to the kitchen.
"I don't think anything happened, they didn't look guilty enough."
"They didn't do anything. Take a look at this." Sarah said as she handed Harriet the camera. She was going to make him squirm over this one later.
Two smiling mud covered faces flanked by rose bushes stared back at her.
"And we leave the children with Clay because...." Harriet facetiously asked.
"Because he loves them and enjoys babysitting, and he lets me buy as many pair of shoes as I want and doesn't say a word. Except for an occasional 'Imelda' when he thinks I not listening." She replied with a smile.
"You know we both got winners with those two. By the way when are you going to tell Clay about the bun in the oven?"
"Well, he knows, but he doesn't know that I know he knows." Sarah said with a straight face.
"Excuse me?"
"Clay knows my body much better than my gynecologist. He's noticed the tell tale changes. He's just waiting for me to confirm it."
"When are you going to tell him?"
"Tonight after the party. You're still taking CJ to your house tonight?"
"Of course. AJ has his entire birthday morning planned and it includes one CJ Webb, one Daniel Chegwidden, pancakes, and vast amounts of syrup. And May can be included also, but only if she doesn't behave like a girl."
"Well considering she is just as involved in all the trouble they get into, I don't think she'll get too girly." Sarah mused.
"Who will get too girly?" Bud asked as he and Clay walked into the kitchen.
"Your daughter. Ever since AJ started school he's had it with girls. May can't understand why he's acting that way. AJ has been having 'words' with one of the girls in his class and is painting all girls with the same brush."
"I'll have a talk with him sweetie, but I think the girls have cooties stage is here for a while." Bud offered.
The adults all laughed at the comment, and continued to prepare for the party. The barbeque was a huge success and eventually Clay and Sarah said goodnight to the last guests and wearily climbed the stairs to their bedroom.
"Alone at last," Clay said as he waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
"Yes we are. Have any plans?" She said as she swatted him on the rear and rushed past him to the bath.
"Let's see. You, me, a Jacuzzi, bubbles, a bed, young child with friends. I think I can come up with a plan or two." He said as he began filling the large tub.
"Clay I have a question for you." At his inquiring gaze she continued. "Do you remember the Bill Cosby routine about never knowing 'who did it' if you have more than one child."
"I was wondering when you were going to tell me. When are we going to be parents again?" He asked as he gathered her into his arms.
"I could give you the details but suffice it to say, in a little over seven months." She whispered into his ear. "Now tell me about my rose bushes?"
The End