The Voyage
I was only twenty two when the voyage began, but now that seems like a century ago. I decided to go to my childhood home to see my mother, already convinced that I would be leaving. When I walked in my mother was staring out the window, then she turned around more wrinkles carved into her features like a spider's web she turned around staring at me with those dulled milky eyes, telling me to leave my past behind and to carve my own future. I went out into the garden familiar with the swing out the back and went to my father's grave and stared at the headstone my mind was made I must leave. My mother was strong enough, she was respected in her village and would probably live for many years to come. Maybe she would join us one day, but until then I must make my own path.
I was always told that I have a plan, a path already laid in my future and I was not sure of the way until now. That morning I prepared my five year old daughter's clothes. I worried about her future too, not just the settlement but the journey out there. I knew already that it would be long and difficult. My husband walked in, all traces of sleep gone, embraced me not wanting to let go but breaking apart to my daughter's sobs. She knew something was happening. I looked at my William's stiffly set face and nodded. We lifted our bags off the floor, loaded the carriage and set off into the morning's fog.
We arrived at the dock that evening to be told that the ship would be leaving the next morning due to troubles with the second vessel. We nodded and turned to face an inn. Inside, the inn was warm and cheerful celebrations took place which ever way we turned. A cheerful, chubby sort of man stuck his hand out for my husband to shake and informed us that we were in luck, there was one last room. We thanked him and went upstairs till the morning, worried about what we might find come the daylight. We awoke early at sunrise and dressed in silence and repacked our bags, as this would be important later on in our journey. Outside blinking in the daylight my heart skipped a beat at what we saw. A majestic, massive, magnificent ship lay before my eyes. The white sail rising up into the air like a flag of truce telling the world we were friends. In contrast to this dark, black shapes swarmed all over the ship like ants on a feast of food. People pushed and jostled to get onto the ship. We stood there frozen, until a kindly sailor man told us that he would take our bags for us.
We fought our way to the front of the gathering. When we reached the ship we took a glance at each other and stepped onto the ship at the same time leaving our pasts behind us and our future in front. The earth moved as I stepped onto the ship and gravity disappeared, the steady rocking rhythm of the ship lulling me into a false sense of security almost as if I were a baby in a cradle. We were pushed down some stairs by another swarm of people. As we stepped down stairs, it felt colder and more compact. I squeezed Emilie's hand and found a place we would be spending the next two and half months. In the end we huddled down in a corner, and rested.
Listening to the sailor's talk, I have slowly picked up some of the nautical terms for the ship such as we were living on the "Gun deck" where they would have kept the cannons, but this was a friendly expedition.
On the ship not much has happened apart from a sailor who has been continually cursing our company, he is a selfish man and looks at the women in a calculating way, many of the men have been talking of him but nothing as yet has been done. I have discovered that I myself am pregnant. I have told William my husband and he has in turn told the doctor on board, he thinks that I will not give birth until we arrived. I can only hope but there is another pregnant lady on board, who is rumoured to be heavily pregnant and may even give birth on the ship. Ever since, she was told her day of labour, she has been walking around with a very pale face with her three children have been following after her helping when ever they can, but she is getting old and may not make it though this last birth, her chances are slim but I hope God is on our side.
I have been trying to make myself handy helping whenever I can and with the other women on board, I have been sewing some spare fabric together to make a blanket for Elizabeth, the pregnant woman. There is only one man on board whom I despise, Mr. Alden a barrel maker from somewhere in Essex he leers at me and stares continually, he scares me and I steer well clear of him trying to keep any rumours taking root questioning my loyalty to my husband. William has been very quiet on this voyage and just works in silence. He is the only able bodied man who will help the sailors with their work. His strength has grown, since coming on this ship and his muscles are more pronounced.
Things have started to go wrong on the ship we are around halfway through our journey and up until now we have had very lucky weather, but we have hit a rough patch and people are beginning to wish they never came. Our first bad storm happened about a week ago, in which a man was nearly killed. He ventured up on deck to watch the storm and the ship suddenly rolled sending him flying off the edge but being young and nimble he caught a piece of rigging and held on for his life, until the sailors came out to fish him out with a boat hook.
It has been a dull day and I suspect there will be another storm tonight, the sailors look nervous and people are talking about curses being set upon the ship by a witch, there was one girl in particular who looked nervous but it is not right to start rumours, anything could happen on here. The only thing that is really bothering me is the captain of the ship. He is swarthy with a mean look in his eye and curses us daily he says such things as "he hoped to throw their dead bodies overboard and take their belongings for himself", with him and Mr. Alden making me nervous I began to question every move I make, but John Carver protects us, he is said to have god on his side.
John Carver is our main leader. In his old life he was said to have been a Church Deacon but he says that all people's pasts must be forgotten. Most of the ship serves to him, he has many servants and writes daily of our voyage. I talk with him often. I think John is one of the nicest men on board although I dare not say that to anyone there already has been rumours that me and John have been spending too much time with each other, I wish not to start another rumour.
The first boy has died, he was John Carvers scribe. John walks around the ship looking at things but not really seeing, just swaying with the gentle rocking motion of the ship. I wish to run over and comfort him but I dare not as my husband watches from his labours. There is only three days to go and the creepy, swarthy captain has fallen down sick, we have not a captain now but we can manage without. Many of the passengers are muttering about gods work, and they say it is only hours until he dies.
Land
Land Ho! The cry went up in the small hours, we have reached are destination. America! The relief that washed through me was tremendous, shuddering through every bone in my body warming my heart, my very soul. The ship has been sailed as close to the coast as we dare, but it has been rumoured that the shore is deadly and very treacherous. The mist was terrible nobody could even see the shore; the men have cautiously sailed to the shore and left us, the women, to catch up on the all important washing that was to be done. The anticipation is killing me about what it looks like. The men didn't come back until the next night tired, and forlorn, but they were still excited. Explaining to us that it was excellent growing conditions and they had even found some seeds for plants buried, which shows the rumours of the Indians that live here are true. There was much debate about whether we should take them or not, but it has been decided they were left as a gift. Just after sunrise the next day I was awoken by Emilie crying, I settled her back down and tiptoed to the steps, up onto the deck. There it was America. Big and Green. Two words that suit perfectly. It was like nothing, I'd ever seen before it was like the forests back home, but on a tremendous scale the soil was darker meaning it must be more fertile. It was so beautiful. Somebody touched my shoulder and I whirled around, thinking it was William, but it was John. I gazed up into his eyes, his soft but firm hands held my shoulder and suddenly his lips were on mine, pressing urgently but soft. We broke apart just before some more men came up on deck, I sorted myself out to make myself look presentable and shot a look at John, but he was discussing the plans for the day. William came up the steps with his arms around Emilie looking for me. I hurried over with a fake smile on my face and hugged him.
Today everyone went to the shore transporting everything with us in the hope of not returning to the ship. I stepped onto the soft sand and my head swam, with months of the swaying rocking ship this land was too sturdy I fell but William caught me and helped me back up, I thanked him and took in the sites before me. The trees were almost three times the size of me and I felt like an ant in a big world. Isolated, alone.
Over the next few months we set ourselves up with whatever we needed we bred the animals we brought over on the ship, built our houses, and all the necessity's in this time I had started a full blown affair with John, it was always while William was away felling trees or he was on the ship sorting the mast and rigging out. It made me feel guilty about William but I was in love with John and I had never really loved William anyway. It was just for convenience back home.
I have had a son. His name is Peregrine and I was the first English woman on America to have a baby. There was only three other women who were pregnant on the ship, one gave birth, on the ship and the other two are due soon, but it encouraged them a lot by my success. Mr. Alden from the ship still looks at me with his half dead eyes, he does this to all the girls but I seem to take his fancy and he tries to struck up conversation with me but always leaves when either john or William comes over.
Everything has gone wrong, its all because of this stupid affair. Now I'm sitting here tied to a tree awaiting trial. It all began with that horrible man Alden. I had arranged to meet with John on the hill outside of the little village we have set up, so I was waiting there and John came up to meet me. Then suddenly we were kissing, when there was a rustling in the trees. Mr. Alden emerged with a smile on his face. I and John sprung apart but Alden had already run out of the clearing. I shoot a guilty look at John and began to run back to the village. I was halfway down the forest trail when Alden grabbed me around the waist. I screamed and kicked out but he was strong and held on I collapsed crying and he stroked my hair.
"I know," I looked him in the eye. He knew. With that stupid smirk plastered over his face, I spat at him. While he was shocked, I ran, as fast as my legs could carry me I ran, the ground pounding beneath my feet, on and on until the forest cleared where the trees had been felled near the village. I stopped and sorted my hair and my dress out. I tried to walk casually into the village, my face had slowly died down from the flush of running and everything looked normal. Then Alden ran into the village into the centre and started pointing at me looking like a madman.
"Her, her" He kept saying pointing at me "She has committed adultery" Everyone in the centre turned to face me. I looked around not quite sure what to do until John strode into the clearing. In that next second he declared that it was the truth the whole centre went quiet until Alden was yelling about tying me up, he summoned Peter Browne one of the quietest people in our group.
"Peter you understand don't you. You must understand," But with his hands shaking he just avoided my eye and tied the ropes round my hands, and now I am tied to a tree awaiting my trial.
My trial was short but simple I pleaded guilty and Alden with that mad look in his eye declared what he saw, my verdict was given, GUILITY, punishment death by hanging. At this last statement William turned away with tears in his eyes with Peregrine in his arms and Emilie holding his hand he walked back to our house, he stopped and looked back at me.
At the time of my hanging I was asked if I would walk to the gallows, which had been put up the night before, of my own free will. I accepted and began the long walk to the sturdy wooden structure. I walked past all the people I had made friends with through the last 6 months or so with my head held high. I walked up the steps with strong dignified steps and with a tear in my eye, I put my head through the noose. I looked my husband in the eye and the last thing I saw was him walking back to his house on his own, lines carved into his face that made him look 10 years older than he ever had before this trip.
Then the platform dropped…….