A/N: This was my first Final Fantasy XIII story and it is rather short because it is centered around Hope and the time in which he obtains his Eidolon. The italic phrases at the beginning and ending of each chapter are the song lyrics from Serah's Theme (english version). They're there because they fit quite well and it ties it all together considering the title of this story is from the song as well. Enjoy :)

Disclaimer: The story below contains intellectual properties from Square Enix, including, but not limited to, Final Fantasy XIII and the Final Fantasy franchise, and are in no way owned by myself, nor do I claim ownership of any of the events that directly correlate with previous installments made by Square Enix in the franchise Final Fantasy.

Struggle Lies Within

By: Selphie Kinneas 175

Chapter 1: Lightning and Thunder

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Make my wish come true... Let darkness fade to light.

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"You okay?" Vanille shouted to the boy clutched to her hand over the roaring wind rushing past their ears as they plummeted to the grassy terrain below them.

"Oh yeah, I'm great," Hope sarcastically responded, praying in the back of his mind that his friends were falling behind them, coming to their rescue.

His prayers were answered as he heard the call of Fang yelling, "Grab on!" as he was suddenly pulled onto the back of her massive, flying Eidolon just barely in the nick of time. He paused a moment to catch his breath after that terrifying near-death experience.

Hope couldn't believe his eyes; was he dreaming? He had never seen anything like this in his life, he never even imagined Pulse looking like this. It looked… beautiful, but also frightening... very foreign.

"Home sweet home. Welcome to Gran Pulse," Fang could be heard stating warmly in front of him.

What was so sweet about it? Sure, it looked amazing, like something out of a picture book, but that monster certainly did not give him a great first impression of the place. As they soared above the fairytale landscape, Hope noticed all the wild beasts and huge monsters that stampeded and raced each other below them, and he felt a twinge of fear.

"You guys okay?" Snow asked the two youngest of the group, seeing as how they probably both just saw their short lives flash before their eyes.

"Yep!" Vanille replied in her usual happy tone, smiling brightly as she did so.

"Yeah," Hope said quietly with a nod in Snow's direction.

All of his young life he had heard horror stories about Pulse, about how it was hell on earth and all kinds of other horrible things. Yet, here he was, about to set foot on that same hell. He was terrified, and he wished his mother was there with him, telling him that it was all going to be okay, but she never was.

Vanille was the first to jump onto Pulse terrain, soon followed by Snow who held out a helping hand to Lightning which resulted in a scoff as she ignored the gesture and she was the next to land on the alien ground. Sazh soon followed suit and Fang did as well, waiting until almost everyone was off since she controlled their transportation.

"You comin' or what?" Fang's smooth accent rang in the young boy's ears.

Hope nodded quickly and jumped down, not wanting to annoy his older friends. He already felt like he had to try harder than everyone else just to fit in; he didn't want to push his luck.

Vanille took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly, "Ahh…"

"Feels good to be home," Fang stated as she stood beside Vanille and they took in the surroundings together.

"Sure is strange…" Lightning said quietly as she, Sazh, Snow, and Hope all looked around just the same as Fang and Vanille did; only they were more confused and dumbfounded whereas the two Pulse natives were more exhilarated and glad to see their home again.

"Ya got that right," Snow responded to who he liked to call 'sis,' although she didn't enjoy it very much at all.

"I sure wish Dajh could see this," Sazh chimed in.

Hope was quiet; he didn't exactly know what to think. He felt very apprehensive and nervous about setting foot on the lower world dirt, but he had done just that.

"Well," Fang spoke up loudly, "It's nearly dusk and there appears to be a storm comin'," she pointed out the dark, gray clouds circling overhead, "We should settle in for the night."

"Right," Lightning responded, looking around for somewhere that provided coverage if said storm did eventually occur.

Vanille nodded in agreement along with Sazh just before Snow began trekking ahead in search of some shelter for the night saying, "Leave it to me!"

Lightning scoffed and rolled her eyes at the 'hero's' statement, resulting in a small giggle from Vanille.

"He'll never find anything soon enough by himself," Lightning stated dryly as she chased after him in hopes of helping them find somewhere to sleep before the storm hit.

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After a little less than an hour of searching, they found a small recess flooded with trees with massive branches, providing plenty of overhead coverage for when the rain came.

"This oughtta do it!" Snow stated in satisfaction at their newfound location.

They went and retrieved the others just before rain began pouring down on them harshly. Hope covered his head with his arms in an attempt to keep himself dry as he entered their current campsite for the first time.

"I'll take first watch," Fang announced as she grabbed her lance and spun it around, waiting for the others to tell her what order they would take the watches in, so that she would know who to wake up when her turn was over.

Fang had the first watch, going from dusk until late evening. Sazh had second watch, lasting from the late evening until midnight. Snow had the third watch, covering the time between midnight and the early morning before there was any sunlight. Finally, Lightning decided on the last watch of the night, entailing the hours of the dark, early morning until daybreak. It had been decided that Vanille and Hope would not be expected to keep watch as they were both quite young and their strong suits dealt more so in the area of healing and defenses rather than offenses. They protested, wanting to pull their own weight, but Fang simply would not let Vanille sit out in the night by herself guarding their territory, while Lightning and Snow would not allow Hope to risk himself in that same way either.

"Alright, it's settled then. Now off to sleep, all of you," Fang ordered sternly. Despite her tone and mannerisms, she was really only trying to look out for her companions, even though it came off as slightly bossy and demanding sometimes.

Sazh laughed quietly to himself as he thought of the fact that he was being ordered around by 'kids' as he laid down beside the fire that Vanille had magically conjured up moments ago.

They all laid down, with the exception of Fang, in their respective areas across the campsite and to most of them sleep came easily, but not to all of them. Lightning seemed to always have insomnia. For as long as they had been on this journey it had been nearly impossible for her to fall asleep every night. Hope was the other person that was having difficulty falling asleep on this night; he couldn't shut his mind off. He was a boy far beyond his years; any of his comrades on their journey could vouch for that. Even at his young age, thoughts and worries plagued his mind that usually only bothered adults.

While Fang was on duty, she sat in front of the largest entrance to the remote area they occupied, and she watched over Vanille like a hawk. Of course, she kept an eye on everyone else and continuously searched in every direction as well, but it was in her very nature to worry about Vanille; she was not going to let her out of her sight again. The young Pulsian warrior grasped her spear, fiddling with the points lazily, waiting for her shift to pass. Thoughts flooded her mind of their Focus, their brands, and their futures. The hours passed by slowly, and it was finally time for Fang to awaken Sazh.

"Hey," she whispered to the older male on the floor, trying to keep quiet so that no one else would be disturbed. She shook him rather violently, "Wake up old man, it's your turn, I want my rest too."

He groaned slightly and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, "Alright, I'm up."

Sazh spent the hours of his watch examining his pistols, as there wasn't much else to do. He spoke to himself a little bit, but he also carried out some quiet conversation with the chocobo chick that took residence in his bushy hair.

Upon the stroke of midnight, Sazh's shift came to a close and he practically skipped over to Snow, overjoyed at the fact that he could finally go back to sleep. Waking up Snow did not come easily, as he was a very deep sleeper, but he eventually did, and the tall, young man took to his post proudly.

All throughout his watch, he had a hold on Serah's crystallized teardrop, hoping he could hear something, anything at all, from her. The three hours of guarding the campsite went by relatively quickly for Snow, and it was time to awaken Lightning.

"Hey, sis," he shook her gently, waking her instantly as she had just barely begun to fall asleep and she was a light sleeper anyway, "Your turn."

Without a word, the young woman grabbed her gunblade which she always kept at her side as she slept, stood up, and walked over to where she would stand guard. Snow sighed slightly and had no trouble falling back asleep whatsoever.

Lightning stood at the front of the clearing, leaning against some rubble that acted as a barricade to their base camp. For a little while, she stood polishing her gunblade, until she realized that despite the large branches overhead, some raindrops still made their way through the brush and there was simply no point in attempting to get her weapon shiny. She sighed slightly as she looked up at the bits of sky she could see through the leaves and twigs of the strange Pulsian foliage. She noticed Cocoon hanging peacefully in the night sky, beyond the lightning and rain.

As she turned around to look at her friends and companions, she smiled lightly to herself as some of them looked rather amusing. Vanille was curled up closest to the fire, hugging her knees to her chest for more warmth. Fang was directly behind her, being the protective person that she was, she situated herself so that if Vanille made so much as a twitch, she would know. Sazh was a few feet behind them, stretched out on his side with the chocobo chick rested beside his chest.

Snow was sprawled out to the left of the fire, beside some ruins, Serah's tear clutched in his right hand. Lightning was pretty surprised that anyone could sleep over his incessant snoring, and she laughed silently as she noticed him drooling profusely. To the right of the fire, quite a ways away from the group was the small form of Hope, curled up into a ball like Vanille, only not as tight of a ball as the young redhead was. Lightning noticed him shivering and wriggling slightly, concluding that he possibly had trouble sleeping like she did, but she didn't want to bother him in case he was sleeping.

She quickly turned back around in case something had been coming; she didn't want to be caught off guard. There was nothing there, and she settled back into her previous position.

When she heard a small whimper from behind her, she looked back over her comrades, seeing if there was something amongst them, but there was nothing. Suddenly, a loud, booming roll of thunder exploded throughout the sky, and she noticed Hope twitch; it must have startled him. She also saw Fang wake up at the sound, but she quickly fell back asleep when she realized it was nothing more than mother nature, not something looking for a nighttime snack.

Lightning turned to face forward again, only to be disturbed by rustling sounds behind her. She sprinted around, gunblade at the ready, but saw nothing. It was then that she noticed that Hope was missing, and she instantly became panicked. She kept her sword up in case something had taken the young boy, and she hurried past the spot where he had been resting. Beyond that spot was another clearing with fewer trees than their campsite had, and Lightning began feeling chilled as more rain began sprinkling down upon her. She continued searching when she began to hear very quiet sniffling sounds from behind a nearby tree. She slowly crept up closer to the sound when a single beige-ish colored tennis shoe came into view.

Lightning inched closer until the small, shaking form of her dear friend and little brother figure entered her vision. She sighed and mentally scolded herself for overreacting; she thought he had been taken and killed or something worse.

Hope was seated at the base of a tree, with his back against the trunk and his left knee pulled up against his chest while the other laid straight out in front of him – which was the single shoe that caught Lightning's eye. He had his arms folded over his bent knee and he rested his head on top of his arms; he appeared to be crying.

Lightning studied him for a moment, his crying getting her upset like hardly anyone else's could. She reached out a hand and placed it on his quivering shoulder as she said, "Hope?"

The poor boy must have not heard her approaching as he jumped something awful in fright and snapped his head in her direction.

As soon as he realized that it was Lightning, he quickly looked away in embarrassment. "Oh, uh, sorry Light… I uh… didn't know it was you," he stuttered quietly as he tried desperately to wipe away the tears without her noticing.

She knelt down beside the distraught young boy, trying to look him in the eyes while he continued trying to avoiding her's. "Hope," she spoke up kindly, "What is it?"

"I-I'm fine," he muttered, still trying to erase any evidence that he was crying from his face.

"Hope, you can talk to me," she said again, that trademark Lightning smile that everyone loved adorned on her features – Hope saw it out of the corner of his eye, and he couldn't resist.

"I'm just… so sad," he began, "I had a bad dream… about my mom… I miss her so much," he sniffled.

Lightning seemed a bit shocked at his statement. It's perfectly normal and expected for someone to grieve and be depressed after the loss of a parent, she was just taken aback because she never heard him speak of it anymore; she was surprised it still bothered him so much because he hid it so well. But then again, she had to remind herself, he is still just a child.

Hope averted his gaze to that of his shoe, where he fiddled with the laces shyly. "I've been trying so hard to be strong, Light… it's just-,"

She cut him off, "No, Hope, there are times when it's okay to break down. Losing a parent… I know it's hard. Don't beat yourself up because you're upset. It's human to be in mourning," she still knelt down beside him, a hand on his shoulder as she bent down farther trying to move into his line of vision so that he knew she was serious.

Hope looked up at her and she smiled a small smile in his direction. The moment sat still for a bit as he lingered on her words; was it really okay to be weak sometimes?

He started to look down to the grass and sob again, but Lightning placed a finger underneath his chin and lifted his gaze to her's, saying, "You're not alone, Hope, the others and I will always be here for you."

She lowered her hand and his face remained level, "It actually kind of sucks for you, you know," she turned around so that her back was also against the tree trunk and she sat beside him on the ground while he gave her a perplexed look, "You're basically stuck with me and those nutcases," she finished with a smirk.

Hope couldn't help but laugh at her statement; it made him feel better to hear that despite the loss of his mother, he would still always have people that loved and cared for him right here.

Silence fell amongst the two for a few moments, until something that Lightning had said was itching at Hope's mind, and he had a question for her.

"Hey, uh, Light?" he spoke up, looking at the side of her face as she looked straight ahead.

She turned to face him, "Hm?"

"What you said before… how it's okay to be weak sometimes?" he looked down at his shoes again.

"Uh huh?" she urged him to continue, looking at his face as she tried to predict his question.

"Have you ever felt weak before?" he asked as he looked back up at her.

Her gaze fell to the floor for a brief second, and then she turned it up towards the stars, thinking about his question and what her answer would be.

"Many times," she finally whispered.

Hope's jaw dropped, he was sure that her answer was going to be 'never' simply because he had never witnessed a weakness in her; he pictured her as almighty, fearless, and strong, not weak in the slightest.

Lightning saw the shock on Hope's features from the corner of her eyes and continued, "When I lost my parents, I was all Serah had left. I wasn't sure what to do or what to say to her to make her feel better, because I knew in my heart that there was nothing anyone could say or do to make me feel better. I had to be strong for her, but really, I was so weak," she spoke as she gazed up at Cocoon cradled amongst the stars, "When she first told me that she was a l'Cie… I didn't believe her, I threatened her… another sign of weakness. I couldn't – or maybe just wouldn't – accept that I had let something like that happen to her, the one person in the world that I was obligated to protect."

Hope looked down at the blades of grass blowing in the wind, but he didn't say a word.

She glanced at him from the corner of her eye, and then back up at the stars, "I felt weak just now, when I couldn't find you."

The young boy looked up at her instantly, his brow furrowed in confusion.

Lightning looked down at him, "I thought I had let something happen to you, and it was like what happened to Serah all over again. You feel like a little brother to me, Hope. I really care a lot about you," she said sincerely, looking down into his emerald eyes.

Hope's jaw was open ever so slightly; he was shocked that she felt that way.

"I, uh…" he stuttered dumbly for a moment; he had no idea what to say. That simple statement warmed his heart so much that he couldn't even justify it in words.

Lightning smiled crookedly, dismissing his attempt to speak, "You must be tired, go ahead and rest."

He mentally scolded himself for not saying anything when he had the chance, but nodded at her statement nonetheless, "Yeah, I am tired…"

Lightning quickly glanced back over the others as she remembered her watch-guard duties, and when she looked they were all still asleep, safe and sound. She took a few moments to examine the area thoroughly, until she heard shivering coming from beside her. She quickly turned around to see that Hope had already fallen asleep that quickly, and he was shivering – he must have been cold from the rain. She gently moved his upper half into her lap, trying not to awaken him but attempting to give him warmth from her body.

The young woman sat at the base of the tree with Hope in her lap, staring up at Cocoon. Moments passed by quickly and she felt herself drifting off to sleep. Realizing it was still her job to protect her sleeping friends, she shifted in her position slightly, attempting to wake herself up more. In doing that, Hope began wriggling and moaning – maybe he was having another bad dream.

"Shh…" Lightning soothed him as he slept, hoping to shoo away any nightmares he could be having.

Hope relaxed and let out a contented sigh, as did Lightning.

She watched as the sunlight began flooding the dark night sky – it was truly a beautiful sight; much more so on Pulse than on Cocoon. Oranges, yellows, reds, and pinks filled the sky like wildfire before her eyes, and she wished Hope was awake to see it. Little to her knowledge, he slightly was.

"Light?" the silver-ish blonde boy whispered.

She looked down at his slanted lids and responded, "Yeah?"

"Thank you."

Lightning couldn't help but smile, and without a second thought she said, "Anytime."

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Love will not leave you... Hate will not heal you.

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