That Hylian Champion had always been a bit of a wild card…
Strange boy, you could never tell with him. Sometimes he could be as blunt as an iron sledgehammer. Other times, he was extraordinarily tactful and considerate, even shy. Sometimes, he was painfully oblivious – He'd once gone around with a keese perched on his head without realizing it was even there for three hours! And yet, other times, he was incredibly perceptive…
Like today…
Rhondson had just finished fitting him for a new order of clothes, a rare desert voe outfit. The boy had confessed to her one day, when he was quite sure no one else was listening, that he really liked how breezy and cool his desert vai outfit was, but that he lamented how unmanly it made him feel when trying to wear it in public outside of Gerudo Town.
The gifted tailor had suggested she knew just what to do, and set to it immediately, taking his measurements. She then instructed him to return the next week to pick it up. And now here he was again, as he had promised.
After giving him the clothes, he borrowed her house for a few moments to change into them. She waited for him in the front room while he changed in Hudson's bedroom, and when he finally emerged… It was like he was a whole different voe.
He was exactly the same size as before, and yet somehow, he seemed so much more masculine, so very manly and strong. It was so like him. He was so delicate-looking, one would never guess that someone like him had defeated the greatest evil in all the realms. He was a man, and yet, with just a touch of boyish charm to his face and mannerisms. But the body revealed by his new voe clothing clearly did not belong to that of a boy…
Rhondson had noticed and admired all of these things from the moment she met him… But it was hardly proper to think about such things now. She was a married woman, after all…
So instead she simply complimented the fit, and his good taste in selecting it. But she couldn't help but sigh wistfully at least once, and comment offhandedly, "My husband could never pull off a look like that…"
Hudson was thankfully off doing some construction work at the nearby Akkala stables, so he wasn't around to hear these words, or to see how his wife looked at Link for just the briefest of moments. But she quickly reigned herself in, crossing her arms with a sigh and covering up her previous statement with a compliment to the hero, "But then, you look good in just about anything you wear, don't you? It's hard not to when you still have the beauty of youth~ Ah, what I'd give to be your age again…"
Link was oftentimes much more quiet than not. He wasn't mute, but people sometimes got that impression from him. It's just that he was a much better listener than a talker. He was a avid hunter, after all, so being silent wasn't just a preference for him, it was a way of life. But if he really got to know you, Link could really surprise you with how much of a chatterbox he could suddenly be sometimes… Like now. "You're not… That much older than me, are you?"
His inquiry gave her pause. "…Say, how old are you anyways?" She'd never thought to ask him, but she assumed he was about 17 or 18 when they first met…
"I'm 25, almost 26." Technically 125, but he wasn't about to try and explain that…
She had to take an involuntary step back upon hearing that, utterly shocked. "EH?! W-What, are you serious? You're old enough to drink spirits!"
He pinched back a smile at that. "True. But no tavern owner will believe that for at least another ten years or so, probably…" Then he looked at her again, expectant. "So, what about you…?"
She crossed her arms, as if a sudden chill had come over her, even though it was a bright and sunny day. "I'm 28…"
Link blinked at her admission. "Really? That's not that old. The way you went on about your long search for love, I thought you were at least in your thirties…"
"Close enough!"
But he simply smiled and waved away her concerns. "Nonsense. You're practically still a maiden!"
She blushed hard at that, the pink in her cheeks clashing terribly with her red hair and clothing.
Since she found herself a little too flabbergasted to speak for a moment, Link took the opportunity to voice another question on his mind. "So… How old is Hudson then?"
She went from staring at him in shock, to stubbornly looking away. "Well… He told me he was 42 when we first met, but… When I looked at the marriage certificate later, it turned out he was 54…"
Link blinked a few times at that, not sure what to say at first. So instead Rhondson continued for both of them, feeling more than a little awkward now. "I'm sure he was… Just embarrassed… And anyways I'm certainly NOT a maiden, so I could hardly fault him for being older too…"
Link shifted, visibly a little uncomfortable. "Well, there's no shame in being a certain age, but… It's not exactly honorable to lie to your future spouse…"
It made Rhondson all the more uncomfortable because deep down, she agreed with him wholeheartedly. But a good wife should never say such things… At the same time, she found she was unable to pretend to disagree with him. So instead, she changed the subject. "I guess you're an expert on what's honorable. There's no more honorable duty than to protect the Princess, after all. But for that matter – Why isn't that what you're doing right now? Isn't there more important things to be doing than hanging around this little backwater town?"
He softly shook his head. "I protected Zelda after the calamity was dispatched for over a year. But after the castle was restored enough to live in, Zelda employed a new set of Sheikah guards from Kakariko Village, and even a couple of Gerudo, Goron, Zora, and Rito to protect her. Once she did that, she ordered me to take at least a year-long vacation. Of course I protested her decision, so she outright banned me from the castle until the year is up. Her father would have never allowed it when he was alive, but then, that's how I kind of figured in the long run that she was making the right choice. So since I had no choice but to trust in her, I decided to go ahead and just do as she suggested… I guess she thought, now that our duties were fulfilled, we both had to learn to live on our own too…"
Rhondson blinked at that. "Oh… I'm surprised. I would have thought the princess would want her knight in shining armor to stick around for a while. After all that you did for her, I've actually heard some people talking about how she ought to marry you and make you the future king! Did she at least give you a kiss for your valiant efforts?"
Link's face grew steadily pinker as she spoke, until the embarrassment was too great, and he had to look away from her. "W-What? No way! I could never be a king! And Princess Zelda has always been like a bratty little sister to me! I mean – We could even pass for brother and sister, don't you think? No, no, the princess is a dear lady, but I have no intention at all of marrying her, and I'm sure she feels the same. We're just good friends. And besides, well… If I am to be honest, I've never been especially attracted to Hylian women, in general…"
She blinked owlishly at that. "Huh? Really? Well then, what are you looking for in a woman?" It was a rather odd statement, and she found herself wondering if Link was perhaps one of those rare weird types of men that preferred Zoras or Rito to his own kind…
He blushed even deeper and squirmed a bit, stretching his arms as a distraction before finally admitting, "Um, well… I've always kind of lamented how very short I am… So I suppose, I mean, I guess I've always kind of had a thing for… Tall girls…?"
It took only a few seconds for that information to register. Then she gasped loudly, very excited all of sudden. "You want to marry a Gerudo woman, don't you?! Haha! Oh my goodness! No wonder you were willing to dress like a vai to get into Gerudo Town!"
He quickly shushed her, burning bright red now. So in consideration, she quickly lowered her voice, even though they were inside, and clasped her hands together, "Oh, but don't let that information get out anywhere near the desert! You'll have brides throwing themselves at a guy like you! Especially since you're already so well-loved, it might even cause some fights! No, in fact, I KNOW it will! So, you should let me help! Tell me, are there any vai in particular who has caught your eyes? I can tell you whether they are good girls or not, and what to do to impress them!"
He suddenly clasped his hands in front of him in the cutest way, all bashful and appreciative. "Oh, thank you, ahaha… But, well, I'm not really pursuing anyone specifically right now… I just like the company of the Gerudo in general. I admire the culture greatly. There is great discipline, but there is also great camaraderie. It feels good to be considered even just an honorary part of such a noble group."
Now Rhondson was blushing for a whole new reason. This boy—No, this man's honesty and genuine appreciation for who she was and where she came from was tremendous. It made her swell up with admiration in kind for him, tenfold what she'd already felt.
"O-Oh…" She finally managed to meekly mumble back. "W-Well, in that case, I guess I can just give you some general tips... But then, you seem to know what you were doing well enough the first time you flirted with me, so maybe you don't need my help..."
Link grinned despite the guilt, and scratched his blushing cheek in embarrassment. Damn it, a married woman shouldn't be thinking a man besides her husband is the cutest man in the world… "I'm sorry! It was my first time trying to flirt with a Gerudo girl, and one of the first times I'd flirted at all… I didn't mean for it to come off as insincere. But I understand. You can't just fall in love with any voe that will tell you you're beautiful, especially when all Gerudo women are more and more beautiful, ever into eternity..."
That was a sacred sororal doctrine, known only by Gerudo. This boy really did admire her culture, to know that. Yes, every Gerudo was more beautiful than the last, in a neverending cycle that no man could break. Well, no man except the legendary Gerudo King, the cautionary tale that warned Gerudo to never again to let even the most rare Gerudo son come between them in their hearts. A voe may very rarely be allowed in their town, and Gerudo often traveled far and wide, but ultimately Gerudo always came back to their town at least once in a while, and they were extremely strict about who came in.
He blinked at her… And, turning red, she realized she had been staring at him for a few more seconds than she meant to. "O-Oh! Well, yes, that's true…" She replied rather lamely, fidgeting now. She soon added, "But… You don't need to worry about me thinking you are insincere. I don't doubt your sincerity. I would never help a voe pursue my sisters if he were not at least that…"
Suddenly, the strange lad decided to switch things up on her. He went from bashful to bold – From beating around the bush, to being as direct as an arrow, straight to the heart…
He regarded her with incredibly intense eyes. Like… Like the eyes of a wild beast. A wild, but beautiful and divine beast… "Rhondson… What if I told you that I don't want to pursue any of your sisters… What if I said that I wanted to pursue you?"
Her eyes widened in shock. She waited several seconds for him to loosen up, to tell her he was joking. But he never did. And she suddenly grew immensely happy and hopeful, but also terribly afraid. This man was an avid hunter. When he decided to pursue something, far more often than not, he caught it. For the first time in her life, this strong and skilled Gerudo woman felt like a frightened little rabbit before his gaze, knowing that within an instant, he had already claimed her heart.
But… She had already vowed that to another man…!
She turned away from him, biting her lip, now more angry than frightened. "W-What are you saying! You little fool! You arrogant brat! What on Earth would possess you to say something like that! How could you be so cruel as to taunt me so? The first time you flirted with me like that I simply dismissed it, but this is too much! Besides the fact that you know I'm married, how can you think I'd take that seriously when we both know damn well there are many, many Gerudo who look almost exactly like me!"
He lowered his head in humility at her scolding, but he didn't shrink back. "That is true. Gerudo genes are as strong as your sorority, and many of your sisters look very similar to you. So it should be obvious already that the reason you captivated me when I first met you wasn't just because of your beauty…"
She was stunned into silence, allowing him to go on with his explanation, "When I saw you there, do you know what I really noticed first about you…" He paused very briefly, answering his own question soon after, "It was… Your loneliness. The loneliness, and… The wistful, but ever eager desire for adventure, waiting to be fulfilled. I could see that right away, in your eyes… "
He continued, "And, after talking to you, it confirmed what I had suspected… I was too busy with my duties at the time to pay too much attention to anybody, and I had… Well, I had already loved and lost in the past, and it made me uncertain about whether I could let myself love too deeply again. And there were so many people who needed my help… I guess I didn't realize that I wasn't thinking about myself or anyone else since the mission at all, until Zelda finally hammered it into me, and made me take this vacation… But I don't think that was the only reason…"
Now he was the one to look away from her, staring pensively out the window. "Actually… She never really wanted me to guard over her. I had to help her. I literally felt the call to do it, not just the desire to make my father proud, because when I was young I was often unruly with him, it was only in my late teens that I really started focusing on being a knight like him, but… I never really thought if that's what I wanted to do at all. I just knew I had to do it. I had a dream one night, when I was barely more than a boy, and I suddenly felt compelled to seek the princess out and become her royal guard. I advanced so quickly that I hardly even had time to stop and think about why I was even doing it. It didn't even make sense. As a child, I had always been a wild thing who loved roaming as far as I could, regardless of my own safety. Why would I want to spend the rest of my life cooped up in a boring, safe castle the way my father had? That's what I had always thought, and still thought. But I just kept having that dream…"
He trailed off. Curiosity soon got the better of the older woman, and she mumbled, "W-What was the dream…?"
He didn't look back at her. He seemed far, far away for a moment. "…There is a path. A path I must follow. The path that leads to her, a glowing golden goddess in a throne that lies before the rising sun on the distant horizon… Around me there are so many faces, swirling visions… Plains and hills and mountains stretching for miles, sands and molten rock, rivers, lakes and oceans… Everyone in these places, they're all calling out to me for help, and I want to help them all… But she is calling out for help, and I must help her before all others. I stay true to my path. I keep running to her, and when I finally reach the golden princess who holds my destiny… She simply smiles, and thanks me. Then she turns me around, and pushes me. I fall into a sea of waiting arms and smiling faces. There are Hylians, Gerudo, Zoras, Rito and Gorons… Someone would catch me, but I would always wake up before I realized who it was…"
He finally seemed to return from the dream-world, and looked back at her with a smile too. "You know… To be honest, I really don't think I want to go back to the castle, and I think Zelda knew that too… I've experienced so many amazing things in my travels, how could I ever want to end it? Except… That it does get awfully lonely sometimes, when you're out there by yourself… I may be a champion, but even I would feel better to have a strong Gerudo woman around to protect me sometimes, haha!"
She blushed at his charming laugh, still speechless before the power of this beautiful boy and his exclusive invitation. But he wouldn't relent, determined to tempt her, "Come on, Rhondson. Run away with me, won't you? Go into this big wild world with me, and breathe it all in? We could see all kinds of things together. We could travel all the lands, and meet all the people. We could visit the Zora and see their sparkling waterfalls, and gorgeous glowing architecture… We could visit the Rito right in their own mountain-top village, or the Gorons right at the top of their volcanic home, provided we bring the right gear. We can honor the ancient Sheikah at their ancestral Kakariko village, or go snow-bowling in the Hebra Mountains. If you ever got tired, we could go back to visit your family in Gerudo Town, or we could settle down in my house in Hateno village for a while. We could even stay at Hyrule Castle once in a while, Zelda told me I was always welcome there as a guest…"
He could see that he had sorely tempted her, but even still, she was torn. "But… I made a vow…"
He nodded in understanding, but he wasn't about to give up. "I know the Gerudo take their vows very seriously… But I also know that Gerudo are often more forgiving of moral shortcomings… For example, stealing is often consider okay as long as whatever it is you are stealing is truly necessary, and you can obtain it no other way… Well, Rhondson… I can't help but feel, in the bottom of my heart, that it is completely necessary that I steal you away. And if I must do so right from your own husband, if there is no other way, so be it. I've decided. I love your spirit, the spirit of your people, and I want you by my side…"
What a whirlwind of emotions! How could this have happened? How did she, searching all her life for a normal, average man, nothing special, how had she in fact gotten the attention of such an incredible man? The champion of all the realms?
She could say nothing more than his name, compelled to say it, "Link…"
He suddenly acted on another gentle impulse, taking her hand kissing it. She in kind then finally gave the beautiful, angelic, damned, cursed boy what he's been seeking of her. She leaned down and kissed him on the mouth, and felt all the things in her heart that she had always wanted to feel for a voe. All the things she had never felt with her husband…
She decided on the spot. But she couldn't tell him that, not right away. So instead she quickly pulled away, and played hard to get, "Hmm, I still don't know! You're sincere, but you still have to really think I'm beautiful! Just saying you are attracted to my loneliness and my spirit sounds lame! Do you really think I'm at least as beautiful, and more so, than all my sisters? I mean, have you really seen all of my most beautiful sisters? What about Isha, the jeweler? She's widely regarded at the second most beautiful Gerudo, next to Chief Riju. And you know, she has a secret sleeping habit too…"
Link rolled his eyes, then grinned and winked at the woman and her untrained wiles. "Please, Rhondson. I've been in Gerudo Town plenty long enough to know that so-called secret. In fact, I've been there long enough to know that she also sometimes sleep-walks~"
She was not yet deterred, but he did have her blushing again. "W-Well then, what about Ashai, the girl who teaches romance and cooking classes? She's surprisingly still single, though she's been romanced by plenty of voe. Lots of voe regard her as the prettiest next to Riju…"
"I prefer darker-skinned Gerudo, but Ashai is very lovely, and I understand your concern about the more unique-looking Gerudo… But that isn't all there is to a relationship. And Ashai… She has an appetite I could never sate." Link replied mostly dismissively, even waving a hand. "Her recipes are too wildly good! I'm a good cook, but most of my dishes are simple. I'm too short to even read the cookbooks she has on her top shelves. No, my cooking isn't good enough for a woman like that…"
Still trying to think of another unique vai to make sure, Rhondson blurted out, "What about Greta?"
"Greta is pretty too." He admitted neutrally. "But still not as pretty as you, in my opinion."
She was about to think of another girl, but she suddenly had to pause then. "Wait—You HAVE met Greta? Then you've been to the Gerudo Secret Club! You already have these clothes you're buying from me! You didn't even come here for the clothes at all!"
He had to admit when he was caught, so he shrugged and nodded with a carefree smile, "Yes, I mostly came just to see you. But in my defense, I dyed the other set I got from Greta, so I did want your clothes too."
Rhondson crossed her arms. "Tricky voe! Well then, what about Cara! Or Saula? Or Nali? Or—"
"Wait…" Link raised a brow at her now. "Aren't they your cousins…? They look so much like you, is that even fair…?"
She had to admit finally, "…No! I guess not! B-But, what about… What about the fact that there are rumors that the man who would someday be so corrupted as to become the Calamity Ganon, came from the Gerudo? Could you really love a woman, knowing she shares blood with the evil you defeated as a hero…?"
Slowly, Link's brow raised up just a little higher, and his cheeks and ears turned a dark pink. "…Actually… I know it shouldn't, but if anything, when you put it like that, it kind of makes the whole idea even just a little bit hotter…"
She turned outright red then, and not just from embarrassment, but a little hotheaded anger and exasperation. "Oh come on! How could someone like you really be so set on little old me? And besides, you know in the long run Gerudo don't age very gracefully right? I mean—" Perhaps a little too desperate to try and dissuade him, she hadn't meant to insult her mother and grandmothers like that...
Patiently, he shook his head. "Come now, none of us really age very gracefully in the long run… I mean, Zora and Gorons are better than us at it, but it's much harder to maintain a relationship with one of them, of course. Still, I suppose if you're so worried about it, maybe I should seek one out?"
Now he was grinning and sticking a tongue out at her. She sighed and stamped her foot, but that only made him start to giggle too. Unable to help herself anymore, her bad mood also finally dissolved into giggles, and she conceded defeat at last. "Alright! Alright, you crazy little Hylian voe! You crazy, cute little champion! If you really want me that badly, how could I say no? I will follow you anywhere you want to go! I will protect and love you, from here to every edge of the world!"
Bubbling up with love and excitement, our hero wraps his arms around her midsection and hugs her tight. "And I, you…"
He's spoken quite a lot for one day, so he spares no more words than that for now. He simply takes her hand, kisses it, and looks towards the door. His soon to be new bride nods, collects an assortment of necessities into a pack, and then takes his hand, going out the door with him. When a few people begin to stare, Rhondson proudly holds her head high up in the air, and mentions to the Goron and the Rito who are best buddies with Hudson, "Tell my EX-husband that he can wash his clothes on his own time, but that he's going to have to mend them himself now too!"
Flabbergasted, Kapson called out from nearby, "W-Wait! You're breaking your vows?!"
She stops for just a moment, showing just a few seconds of guilt to pass over her. "…Yes… But not all of them!"
Ending a marriage usually warranted some kind of token to be passed from one spouse to the other, so console them. She had already left Hudson a wardrobe full of mended clothes, but she supposed she owed him just a little more for breaking his heart. He wasn't really a bad guy, after all, just all wrong for her. So, grabbing one of Link's arms, and linking it in hers, she proudly proclaimed, "If we should ever have a boy-child, I'll name him Linkson!"
Of course Rhondson was more surprised than anyone else when she ended up having to honor that vow a few years later.
To say the least, neither Hudson nor her mother could complain after that!