Judas
Mikami Teru
I tried to kill the pain
but only brought more
I didn't mean to. I was making the world a better place. Even when I was young, my will was obayed, my justice followed..that justice cost me my mother...I knew then what I was doing...it was too late then...it's even later now
I lay dying
and I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
A pen. ballpoint. Millions are shipped around the world every day. A weapon of mass destruction. The perfect crime...the messiest suicide.
I'm dying praying bleeding and screaming
am I too lost to be saved
I've always been a religious person. Even before Kira. I knew there was a God... now, knowing what I am...who I am..what I've done... Heaven's Gates are closed to me.
am I too lost?
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
The Lord's prayer tastes like ashes on my lips, they move thickly... or maybe its the forced medication of this place, this prison... my mind is broken, shattered... it is futile anyways. God's ears are deaf to my pleas. I would have it no other way. I am a man of fairness.
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
do you remember me
lost for so long
I see him again, in the corner, my Kami-sama...Light-sama...Yagami-san...Koibito (1)
will you be on the other side
or will you forget me
He used me, I need to remember that...but then again, a God uses everyone, it's all part of a greater plan. The begging was false, it had to have been...if I die too, will he be waiting in hell for me? If so...I'll see him soon enough.
I'm dying praying bleeding and screaming
am I too lost to be saved
I doubted Kami-sama... no no... NO! ... if I doubt Kami-sama, he won't let me be his right hand... I've...betrayed him. I'm no better than Judas...
am I too lost?
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
Kami-sama will make the pain go away, the blood stop...it's slowing already, it's the will of Kira, the will of Light... I want to be holy again, I want to be pure... Kira, give me my innocence again...
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my wounds cry for the grave
my soul cries for deliverance
will I be denied?
Someone is coming, they are trying to wake me up... they are putting agony on my wrists, no! no! I will not have this stolen from me as well. My God, My freedom, my love. They will not steal my death. It is mine...
Christ, tourniquet
NO!
my suicide
I own nothing... at all.
(1) Koibito is lover.