So this came to me out of nowhere. Am considering continuing it but for now, meh. It's done :)
Warning: slight language plus suicide is a heavy theme in this.
Enjoy!
-Kavbj
Midnight
They sat in silence. Neither one of them had moved for the past few hours, and daylight had become twilight had become nightlife had become midnight. Their breathing sounded way too loud for the small, tattered motel room, but Lavi was just glad that they were indeed both breathing.
Kanda's hair had dried. The water had long ago dripped from his porcelain skin and inky hair and finely sculpted face and white dress shirt to form a puddle on the scratched floorboards. Normally Lavi would have cooed at Yuu and teased him about the delicious see-through quality to his shirt, but he simply met Kanda's stare head on.
He'd taken in Yuu's position when they'd first sat opposite from one another - back pressed to the wall, to the right of the bed and the side table, one knee propped, black slacks rolled to mid-shin in the stifling heat. He hadn't moved, unlike Lavi, who had silently shifted positions every half hour or so. The Japanese doll's muscles had to be unbelievably stiff, but that was the least of both their problems right now.
"Why?"
His voice was only soft, but it croaked and seemed painfully loud in the silent room.
Kanda blinked at him.
Lavi shook his head. "What's going on with you?"
Kanda parted his lips to let out the breath he'd been holding before his lips curled into a small smirk - teeth bared - and that devilish tongue ran along the edges of Yuu's pearly whites.
"You're still not going to talk to me, hey?" Lavi murmured, tilting his head to the side as he examined Yuu.
He could come up with a few different theories. Yuu had been the Order's toy for way too long; he was on the edge; life was tough; he'd given up; he wanted out; he'd broken; that damn tattoo and lotus - Lavi's eyes widened. The petals.
He wasn't stupid. Kanda had never explained the link to him, just said that his body was a ticking-time bomb and one day he wouldn't still be standing after what should have been a fatal blow. But Lavi could deduce and analyse and hypothesise and he'd figured out that the lotus was Kanda's countdown.
But Yuu just doesn't give up. He'd had to force the Japanese teen down and back and still and silent more than once -rest, Yuu, just rest. Give yourself some time. You need to heal.
"How many?" was his next question.
Yuu stared back.
How many attempts? He blinked. How many petals? How many years? How many what, Lavi?
Lavi sighed noisily and debated standing. He needed to stretch and clean the small little bathroom that was connected to their shitty shared room.
But he was scared to leave Yuu. Sure, he'd hidden Mugen and stripped the bed of sheets and covers and thrown out the curtains and gotten rid of anything that could be shattered and made sharp and he'd blocked all access to the window and had blocked the faucets in the bathroom - but this was Kanda Yuu. If he wanted something, he got it one way or another.
"I didn't take you for such a coward."
Yuu's brows rose - he wasn't buying it. I'm still alive, bastard, try again.
"I just had to fucking resuscitate you!"
Yes, Lavi, and the broken ribs have healed and the bruises have faded and you only had to resuscitate me because I refused to cough up the water in my lungs when you pulled me back.
Lavi growled and his fingers snapped into fists. "Talk to me, damnit! What is going on, Yuu?" He grimaced and settled back down, hand slipping under his shirt to rub tenderly at the fresh pink flesh that had formed over his wound.
Yuu's face fell serious, eyes hard.
Mortality. Lavi's eyes widened. "Is this it?" he asked, lifting his shirt to bare his latest scar. Six hours of surgery, one blood transfusion, three fevered days, two weeks in the infirmary.
Yuu bared his teeth and narrowed his eyes. Those fucking Noah are dead.
"Oh, Yuu," he breathed, smiling sadly. "We all die someday. You'll have your day too."
Yuu scoffed. Not my mortality I'm all that concerned about, idiot.
Lavi narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. "It's… not your mortality - not totally. It's my mortality." He sighed, closed his eyes briefly. "Hey, Yuu… were you scared that I would die?"
His eyes snapped open when Yuu shuddered so hard his head whipped back to hit the wall behind him.
"Yuu?"
Head still tilted back, Yuu looked down his nose at him, smirking.
"No… no, Yuu. Fuck!" He lunged across the space between them and grasped Kanda's jaw, pulling his head back down. "What did you take?" He forced the older boy's mouth open and shoved two fingers down his throat, engaging Yuu's gag reflex.
Yuu lurched forward, bowing over Lavi's legs. Lavi dug his nails into Kanda's nape and swore at him.
"Spit it up, you fucking idiot!" Lavi snapped, engaging Yuu's gag reflex twice, threetimesfourtimesfivetimes before he was finally successful. He breathed out shakily and wiped Yuu's saliva on his pants, having pulled his hand back just in time.
Yuu was panting raggedly, one hand coming up to rub his abused throat, the other clenched in Lavi's shirt. He was trembling with exertion, his bangs sticking to his sweaty, pale forehead. Lavi pulled Kanda in against his chest, not caring how uncomfortable it was for the both of them as he rocked back and forth.
"Shh, Yuu, I get it, I get it, God, I get it now, I do." He shook his head and closed his eyes. He could feel Kanda's heart beating, his chest shuddering, his fingers twitching, his throat swallowing, his tears falling. "I get it, I get it, I get it," he whispered, repeating it over and over until midnight had become twilight had become daylight had become sunlight. "God, I get it now, I get it, I get it, I get it now."