Untitled
Disclaimer: Since I have not done enough research on the Holocaust, some of the events could be purely fictional and not historical inaccuracy.
Mesmerized
That's how I felt the first time we watched the "degenerate" art being engulfed by the flames of Hitler's wrath. Seeing paper shrouded in a brilliant, dancing light was mesmerizing.
I was eighteen then, young and not knowing the symbolism. Now, three years later, we still burn the artworks, but I am no longer mesmerized by the flames, now I am disgusted, ashamed of being a Nazi.
"You there!" I heard one of the commanding officers yell towards my direction.
Turning my head was robotic, we all could recognize to whom was being addressed just by the direction and tone of the voice. Even as Nazi's we were nameless. Hitler stripped everyone's identity.
The officer called my name again and I replied with a quick "yes", all he wanted me to do was add more oil to the burning pile of art in front of us. Giving more oil to the war that seemed would never end, a war even God could not stop. Hitler was invincible.
I looked into the flames; thinking about the days when I was younger, carefree and wore my brown uniform with pride, not this disgruntled pose I seem to make anymore.
"A Nazi?! Why would you want to be one of them?" My mother had asked me when I came home after signing up to be a Nazi, a position honored (and feared) by everyone.
She was insolent, questioning my right to do whatever I want now that I'm eighteen. I had power in my hands, I could kill her and no one would blink and eye, that was the glory of Hitler's party.
Now sitting in my small room I share with four other boys, I realize walking away from my mother was my biggest mistake. My father had died years before, and I left her all alone. What has happened to her? Is she dead? Has she left Germany?
Now sitting in the room I realize I am a monster. In these three years of being apart of the National Socialist Party, I have killed countless innocent and never once was I punished or criticized, but rather praised. I have no right to live as a human being, for I am a monster.
Dear God, please forgive me for what I am to do.