Young Blood (title based on the song by Noah Kahan)
And here we have an example of what happens when Gre3nleaf suddenly gets hit with motivation for a Lord of the Rings story and then can't seem to stop, even when she goes past 11000 words… oops? Please read the bottom of this page for an added note! :)
Hope you enjoy! (Please excuse any mistakes - it is a long story and has been a nightmare for me to proof read XD)
(If you haven't read Rivendell's Star: Eleniel is my OC. She is Lord Elrond's youngest child and Elladan, Elrohir, Arwen and Estel's little sister. For this fic, she is the equivalent of an 17-year-old human.)
People grew mature with age. That was just how it was. As you got older, those childish urges you once had disappeared, and you felt like you had more responsibilities. Which, you did. Children can run around and play and act as if there is nothing bad in the world, but when you become an adult, things change. People expect more of you. Which was why Eleniel Peredhel felt it so difficult to cope with.
The young elleth had grown up with three older brothers who thought the world of her, a father who had her wrapped around his little finger, and a balrog-slayer who was pretty much a child in an adult's body. These five, among many others, practically made it their job to ensure she didn't grow up too fast. And so, as she entered the years she was meant to be considered a young adult, she felt like adulthood had appeared out of nowhere and smacked her in the face. Hard. As the youngest of the Lord of Rivendell, she'd always been taught things only a child of Royalty should be taught, but the number of them had one hundred percent increased as she'd grown older. Eleniel was now faced with council meetings and was given more patrols – which, to be honest, she'd had to practically beg her reluctant father for, so that one was her fault – and she didn't have a lot of time to be the carefree elleth people knew her to be anymore. She was afraid. Afraid that her growing up would mean she'd never be able to do the things she used to do…
Of course, nobody knew she was feeling this. Glorfindel still practiced sword-fighting with her, and Estel still rode with her in the forest, and the twins still took time out of their day, every day, to spend it with her specially… they were treating her as they'd always treated her, not aware that her growing up had caused any difference. And it hadn't, really… she was just feeling the sudden weight of everything, was all. The girl took her extra lessons and increased training time in stride and didn't complain once. Besides, what was she supposed to say? I'm scared of growing up? Yes, that would go down well, wouldn't it?
Despite it all, the one thing she'd always been taught was the fact that you're still allowed to seek comfort without being seen as a child. That was something she'd always had trouble with after an incident with an ellon a little older than her. He'd tripped the young elleth up – by accident or purpose, she still didn't know – and laughed at her when she ran, sobbing, to her father. She'd been the human equivalent of a sixteen-year old, still considered a child, and yet this ellon had made her think she was a weakling by seeking comfort from someone she loved. By tripping her up, she'd managed to cut her arm, and it had required one or two stitches. Of course, she did not tell her father what happened between them, but her grandfather had noticed something off about her and eventually she had had to tell him. Celeborn himself had admitted that even he would not have liked to face that alone, yet it hadn't done much to waver her.
Elrond began to wonder what exactly it was about her that had changed after that incident. It'd definitely been something.
It hadn't been long since then. Now, she was the equivalent of a seventeen-year old human. She was in a strong and ongoing relationship with the son of Glorfindel's second-in-command and best friend, Daeron, she attended every council meeting her father asked her to, knowing enough about them now to add her own input and opinions, and she went on more and more patrols with her brothers and the balrog-slayer as time went on… to be honest, the thing that probably scared Eleniel the most was the fact that Elrond had changed certain rules. For example, she now had free range in Rivendell, whereas only a few years back she was not allowed into the forest alone, and she was under strict instructions not to cross the imaginary line that her father had called 'the border'. Only a year back, she had rules that children should follow. Now, her father trusted her enough to make her own rules. It wasn't that she disliked this freedom, it was just… she missed having the innocence of childhood. She never thought she'd say this, but she missed following rules. Where she'd once shouted and sulked after her father told her she wasn't allowed to do something, she now longed for Elrond's voice to tell her to walk slower in the corridors, and she yearned for Glorfindel to remind her just how far she was allowed to go in the gardens, and she ached for Erestor to look at her expectantly, arms crossed over his chest as he asked her why she was late for his lesson. She didn't know why. All those years, she'd been waiting for the day people would stop treating her like a child, and yet her she was, wishing those days back.
As an elfling, Eleniel had definitely been one for affection. She'd run to her father if there was a storm, she'd jump on Elladan's back and make him walk around the House acting as if he were a pony, she'd let herself be carried to her room by Glorfindel if she'd managed to fall asleep in the Hall of Fire, not one thought about anyone seeing her entering her mind, and she'd hugged anyone any chance she got. Now? She was different. Nobody had told her to act differently… she just believed she had to.
Nevertheless, it always came back to what was mentioned earlier: "you're still allowed to seek comfort without being seen as a child."
Just because you wanted a hug sometimes, or you felt the need to cuddle up to somebody on a chair, it wasn't seen as childish. Somehow, Eleniel had forgotten that. Maybe because she'd never had the opportunity to see Celebrian curled up in Elrond's arms, the firelight casting a warm glow around them as they rested with each other after a long and tiring day. The young elleth wanted to be allowed to show affection for her family without having that lingering thought inside her brain that someone was thinking badly of her for doing it. Which, as you probably should have guessed already, Lord Glorfindel had a huge part in changing.
It'd been a long day, to say the least. Glorfindel's two-week patrol had returned home, and Estel had been badly injured. Eleniel had barely had time to accept a quick hug from the twins and the balrog-slayer before they followed Elrond and the young human to the Healing Rooms. As far as lessons and responsibilities went, she'd been pretty much free today. Erestor had asked her to help him in the library for an hour or so, and she'd readily agreed, not really knowing what else to do; Daeron was visiting friends in Greenwood with his father, and Miluiel was running errands with her mother. Erestor was a lot more fun than walking aimlessly around the house until everyone finished with Estel.
Nevertheless, the ellon had had to return to his scrolls and pieces of parchment after some time, and so Eleniel was once again forced to roam the hallways. Lindir had asked if she were lost, a teasing smile playing on his lips as he did so, and Eleniel had replied with a roll of her eyes, gently shoving him as she passed. She'd had half a mind to ask him if he wanted to go for a ride with her in the forest, or just… stay with her, but she knew he had a busy job and was probably on his way somewhere important.
One thing about Eleniel was, if she was left alone for too long like this, worrying about her brother and feeling the weight of everything else going on around her on her shoulders, she began to wallow in the sorrowful pool she was finding herself in a lot more recently. As she moved through the Last Homely House, not really having any idea where she was going, she began to feel weird. Weird to her, anyway. She just felt like she needed to cry. She craved comfort. So much had been going on recently, and she honestly wanted to curl up against someone and let her tears flow. But she couldn't.
… could she?
"This is a bad idea, this is a bad idea, this is a really bad idea…" Eleniel repeated like a mantra as she paced her bedroom floor, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. She'd decided to do something. And, apparently, it was a really bad idea.
The rest of the elleth's day had gone alright. Estel had been fine, only receiving three days of bedrest, and Elrond, the twins, Erestor and Glorfindel had joined her for dinner that evening, the six of them talking and laughing as if nothing was happening. And nothing was. It was all in Eleniel's head. However, as they'd said good night, and the girl had headed off to bed, that urge for comfort just came straight back to her. She was immediately reminded of how easy it had been to just run to her father's room as a child, crawl into his bed and fall asleep next to him without him so much as asking what she was doing. He'd instinctively wrap his arms around her, and the two would drop off. If Eleniel needed to talk about it, she would. The only time Elrond ever asked if she were okay would be if she didn't look okay. Usually, it was just her not wishing to be alone. And that was more than fine.
But Eleniel didn't feel like going to her father tonight. Or her brothers, for that matter. She felt like she needed to see Glorfindel, the ellon who had one hundred percent been her second go-to. And, so, she went.
She cursed the fact that she and Glorfindel's rooms were just around the corner from each other.
She also cursed the fact that the balrog-slayer had apparently stayed in the Hall of Fire with some friends for quite some time after dinner and was therefore only just arriving at his room the same time she was.
His sharp eyes caught hers before she could duck behind the corner she'd just rounded. "Eleniel?" he asked. "Is everything alright?"
The elleth opened her mouth to speak but found she didn't really know what to say. She floundered for a moment, making some extremely weird facial expressions, until Glorfindel rose both eyebrows and crossed his arms over his chest. He leaned back against the wall and looked at her. "El?"
That urge to cry was back again, though it was mainly there because she knew there was no escaping it now. She bit her lip and glanced up at the warrior. "Uh, nothing," she tried, "it's okay. I'll go back to bed. Good night."
She turned to walk back to her room, but Glorfindel's voice halted her before she'd barely made a move. "Wait!" he called. His raised eyebrows were furrowed together, his face looking quite confused, now. "I know there is something wrong. What is it?"
Eleniel shrugged, absent-mindedly playing with her hands behind her back. "Nothing. I'm okay."
A golden eyebrow arched, and a hint of a smile appeared on the warrior's face as he lifted his head and narrowed his eyes. "Yes? Then, you won't mind coming in here to speak with me for a while."
"There's nothing to speak about."
"Don't lie to me." His voice had an underlying tenor of sternness, and Eleniel could see by the way he was leaning against the wall with both arms crossed over his chest and an almost patronizing look on his face that he was not playing. She would have mirrored his image if it weren't for the fact that she simply could not be bothered. And so, with a roll of her eyes that wasn't at all discrete, the elleth sighed.
"Fine."
"Good." Glorfindel moved to open the door to his room, watching with suppressed amusement as Eleniel huffed and practically stormed past him. He wasn't sure what had made her so grumpy in such a short amount of time, but he knew he'd find out at some point that night. Aware that most of the residents of the House were sleeping, he quietly shut the door behind him and walked over to the bed Eleniel had unceremoniously thrown herself on. It was strange how, no matter how old she became, the warrior still saw her as a child. Which, in retrospect, she still was, but that wouldn't last much longer. He'd learnt to cherish the few moments he still had left; her sweet innocence and ability to make everyone in the House feel younger than they were wouldn't last forever.
"Are you ready for training tomorrow?" Glorfindel asked. He stood in front of his mirror and set about un-braiding his hair. He'd always found it best to speak to the youngest Peredhil about something completely off topic before he went straight in with "so, what on Middle Earth is wrong with you?"
However, most unlike the reaction the balrog-slayer had been expecting, Eleniel groaned and rolled over onto her stomach.
Glorfindel paused in his un-braiding and turned his head to look behind him, both eyebrows raising. "Well, then. I suppose that's a no."
"I forgot I had it," the elleth confessed, a sigh leaving her throat.
"I see. Don't worry, I'll go easy on you."
"No, you won't."
"No, I won't." He smiled and looked at Eleniel in the mirror, having turned back around to face it. Eleniel, however, was not looking at all impressed. She was still on her stomach, arms folded above her and resting her head on them. Platinum hair was fanned out around her and she looked the image of a bad mood. Nevertheless, his smile didn't leave his lips. Instead, he shook his head and chuckled, finally loosening the braid and setting about doing the same to the other one. He kept an eye on the elleth, glancing over at her in the mirror every so often. It was strange how amusing it was to him that Eleniel could act so mature when in public, but as soon as she was out of their view, she was a complete and utter elfling… not that he was complaining.
Having de-braided his hair and changed into his night shirt, he turned to face the bed and put both hands on his hips. Eleniel was pretty sure she knew what he was doing but still remained undeterred. The balrog-slayer smirked and wondered for a minute if she'd fallen asleep. "Are you alive?" he ventured.
"Unfortunately."
Glorfindel raised an eyebrow. "What a beautiful example you are of someone who has a positive view on life, you little minx." He grinned as she laughed slightly, though she made no effort to hide how quickly she moved to cover it up. He knew he'd be able to get her to break, one way or another – Elrohir called it his special power, though he had to admit it wasn't the hardest of tasks to do.
Eleniel bounced slightly on the bed as Glorfindel sat at the end, and she heard him lift his leg up to take his boot off. She didn't pay much attention to it until he smacked – albeit as gently as he could – her on the leg with it. With a yelp, Eleniel turned onto her back and glared at the laughing elf sat in front of her. "That hurt," she growled before kicking her leg out to knock the boot out of his hand. It hadn't meant to happen, but she was sent into uncontrollable giggles as the boot was successfully knocked out of his hands and – more so unsuccessfully – hit Glorfindel in the side of the face.
The balrog-slayer, as expected, flinched and quickly reached up to rub his now burning cheek. He didn't seem too impressed with Eleniel's clear amusement. "That hurt," he groaned.
Eleniel laughed, cheeks slowly turning rosy. "Can't say you didn't get what you deserved!" she said, sending her leg out to kick him in the side. However, Glorfindel's alert gaze on the young elf – and strength, of course – aided in making him grab her foot before it could reach him, holding it in his sturdy grasp.
"Try that again, I dare you," he threatened, though that usual mischief was still glinting like firelight in his eyes.
"I would if you let my foot go," Eleniel countered, attempting to tug it free. Of course, it was in vain. Glorfindel smiled and ceased rubbing his aching skin, instead playfully jerking the elleth's leg towards him and making her squeak as she was pulled forward. Keeping a firm hold on her foot and an ever-watchful eye on the other one, he bent down to slip off his other boot and reached back over to hit her leg again.
"Ow! Stop doing that!"
"You hit me, I hit you," the warrior said, though there was no malice in his voice whatsoever. Eleniel knew he was playing with her, and she silently thanked him for the distraction, if that was what it was. There was a smile on her lips, revealing her pearly white teeth as she played her game with the balrog-slayer, and her blue eyes were shining with happiness. Glorfindel looked no different, besides the fact that his right cheek was a little redder than it probably should have been. Eleniel was having more fun than she had had in a long time, and of course it was to be Glorfindel who succeeded in bringing that side out of her. However, she suddenly came to remember why she was actually here. She was not in his room to act like an elfling. In a moment, her smile had faded, and she'd given up trying to get her foot out of Glorfindel's hand, simply resorting to flopping back on the bed and resuming her… ceiling-staring.
Glorfindel, as expected, narrowed his eyes in slight confusion and a hint of annoyance. His smile, alongside Eleniel's, dwindled somewhat, though it didn't dissipate entirely. He sighed. What was with that girl? "By the Valar," he said, "do tell me what's wrong, Eleniel."
Eleniel effortlessly shrugged. "Who says there's anything wrong?"
"We've gone over this. Don't lie to me."
"Sorry."
Glorfindel cocked his head to the side slightly and looked at the young elleth with contemplation glistening in the depths of his eyes. Where she had inherited her swift mood-changes, he'd never know. Elrond was never like that, and he couldn't remember Celebrian acting the same way… he put it down to simply being a side-effect of what she was thinking – or, probably more effectively, worrying – about. "Would you like your foot back?" he asked in a valiant attempt to lighten the mood yet again, lifting the appendage up a little.
"You can keep it," was the reply.
The blond chuckled and looked adoringly at the elleth. "Well, I thank you for the offer, but it's not like I would have much use for it. Something tells me you would be better off with two feet instead of one."
Eleniel didn't respond, instead crossing her arms over her chest and attempting to act as though she didn't care. She was simply wishing she'd never made the short journey to the balrog-slayer's room. She wasn't sure where that sudden urge to talk to him had even come from, but she was dreaming of a scenario where the thought had never even come to her mind. Did she actually want to talk about it? Yes. Of course. Did she actually want to talk about it now? No. Nonetheless, now was better than never, right? She knew that, deep down, she did want to get it out of her system; it was just her irritating nerves causing her to turn away from that.
She wasn't even sure what she'd expected to come out of this, but she knew she'd wanted to come to Glorfindel before anyone else. It wasn't that he was easier to talk to than her father or her brothers, but he simply had a way of making everything seem better than they actually were. He found the humour in between all the seriousness and made her laugh when she felt like crying.
"Would you like it back now?" Eleniel looked up just in time to see the warrior wink and give her trapped foot a brief tickle. Yelping, she tugged it out of his grasp and held it as far away from him as possible, all the while glaring at him as fiercely as she would have had he just said something highly offensive to her. He threw back his head and laughed, causing Eleniel to sigh in annoyance for probably the tenth time that evening, and pat her leg before grabbing his night pants and walking into his bathroom to wash quickly and change.
"You better not be scowling when I come back," he shouted from inside the room. Eleniel rolled her eyes. "And do not roll your eyes at me either!"
How had he-
The elleth sighed. She'd stopped trying to guess how that elf managed to know everything she was doing a long time ago.
If it was anything, by the time Glorfindel came out of the bathroom, Eleniel's dark gaze had vanished.
… she'd never admit that she'd changed it as soon as she heard the door opening.
"You smell nice," she said absent-mindedly, catching the sweet scent of fruits that the ellon was practically trademarked for.
"Was that a compliment, my glowering little one?" Glorfindel asked. He rose an eyebrow as Eleniel seemed to disapprove of his comment, rolling over onto her stomach yet again as he came to lie next to her. He crossed his legs at the ankles, lifted his arms above him and folded them so he could lay his head on them, and flicked his eyes over to the pouting elleth beside him. "Alright, let us get this over with. Tell me what's wrong."
"What if I don't want to?" Her voice was muffled beneath the mattress she was currently burying her head in, but the warrior heard her nonetheless.
"You do want to, Eleniel. Otherwise, you would not have come to see me tonight." He continued to look at Eleniel, her faint sigh reaching his ears. Speaking honestly, he wasn't too sure what could possibly be bothering her. Over the many years since she'd been born, he'd had next to no trouble concerning her telling either him or another member of the family what was bothering her. And so, not surprisingly, this new attitude she was showing worried him. It wasn't like Eleniel to act like this. It was… strange. Almost suspicious.
He would have continued to ask what was wrong in that kind of manner if it weren't for the quiet sniffle that reached his ears. His head snapped to the side and his elvish eyes had no trouble picking up the increased rise and fall of Eleniel's chest, moving every time she took a painstaking breath in to muffle her sobs. Glorfindel sighed. "Come here," he said, turning on his side. He wrapped both arms around the girl's waist and pulled her to his chest, lifting a hand to card his fingers through her dishevelled hair in the soothing way that always managed to calm her down. "Goheno nin, tithen fileg nin," he said gently, "I didn't mean to make you cry."
"You- you didn't." Eleniel sobbed, clinging onto the hand that was wrapped around her stomach. "It w-wasn't you. It wa-was-"
"Alright, little one," the warrior said, rubbing Eleniel's stomach. "Calm yourself before you start to speak. Let us just lay here for a moment, yes?"
Eleniel nodded, tipping her head back until it was under Glorfindel's chin. The fact that these tears were a result of the pain she'd been causing herself simply because she felt the need to act mature killed her. Where had her sense gone? Where had she – the elleth who didn't care what other people said to her – gone? Here she was, curled up next to someone she loved more than her own life, and she felt nothing wrong with it. Because there wasn't. It wasn't a case of the previous statement she'd been taught: "you're still allowed to seek comfort without being seen as a child." It was more than that, now. She was allowed to seek comfort whenever she wanted. What right did anybody have to take that away from her? What right had she had to take it away from herself? She felt this with every bone in her body, but her heart wouldn't give up telling her otherwise. She needed to hear it from someone else.
Glorfindel was only slightly surprised when he was met with Eleniel's tear-stained face not long after as she turned in his arms so her head was resting on his chest. The ellon pulled her closer to him and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Oh, my little lovebug," he said, "what's been eating at you, hm?"
Eleniel had unconsciously taken a fistful of the balrog-slayer's shirt in her hands, something she'd always done as an elfling to help her feel more secure. Yes, an elfling. Though it wasn't bothering her much now. "It's going to feel stupid telling you."
"Whatever it is, I can assure you it will not be stupid," Glorfindel said. "If it has upset you this much, then it is a cause of concern. No worry, big or small, is stupid if it is a bother to you. Understand that, El."
Eleniel sniffed and thought about that for a moment. She guessed it was true… if she was worrying about it this much, then it definitely wasn't to be considered stupid or unworthy of the warrior's time. To her, anyway. "Okay," she began, "I don't- I'm not too sure how to start it, but-"
"Just try. I am patient, you know that, and I will listen."
Eleniel nodded. "Okay, well… things have just changed for me, recently. I'm not sure how else to say it. I am feeling… older. And, I know that's stupid, don't say it isn't. Of course I'm going to feel older. I am older. But… I don't like it. Does that make sense, Fin?"
Glorfindel would have lied and said he understood completely, but he really did need to get to the bottom of this. He bit his lip thoughtfully for a moment. "I'd like to say I do, El, but I'm afraid you are going to have to elaborate a little."
The elleth sighed and closed her eyes, letting the balrog-slayer's heartbeat soothe her nerves. She kept telling herself not to get worked up over it – she'd tell him, he'd sort it, and everything would be fine – but she couldn't help but feel those tears threatening to fall once again. She sub-consciously took a deep breath and found herself tugging a little too hard on Glorfindel's shirt, for he glanced down at her after her silence and frowned. "Eleniel?" he asked. "Come on, little warrior. We can do this, okay? Breathe with me. In, and out. In, and out, In, and- that's good. Good girl, El. Keep doing that for me." Eleniel mirrored her breathing with Glorfindel's, inhaling when he did and exhaling when he did.
"I don't know why I- I'm getting upset."
Glorfindel sighed, not pausing in rubbing her back. "You have a right to be upset," he said, "don't cover up for yourself. You can cry if you want, El."
"No! That- that's just it! I can't!" Glorfindel was, quite frankly, surprised by Eleniel's outburst. He raised himself up with his right arm, leaning on it for support, and watched the elleth with worry gleaming in his eyes as she moved away from him and sat cross-legged with her back to him. She took a deep breath and put her head in her hands, silently telling herself not to cry. "Fin, I… I can't keep doing this. I'm so confused." Her voice was one of absolute distress, and Glorfindel found his anxiety spiking at the mere sound of it. He could see she was clearly trying to keep herself composed. "I don't understand who I'm supposed to be anymore! I want- I want to be me – to be Eleniel – but then I see all these ellith my age acting so grown-up and mature and I feel like that should be me! I shouldn't be so childish, and I should stop crying. Why am I doing this?" She lifted her head and, were Glorfindel sat in front of her, he would have seen the glint of the tears trailing down her cheeks in the candlelight.
Her outburst was just that. An outburst. Nevertheless, it served its purpose. Glorfindel more or less understood, now; enough to help her, anyway. Her previous statement – about her dislike for having to grow older – made sense, now. It explained her mood changes, and how she wasn't willing to come into his room straight away, simply because she deemed it too immature to do so. He also would have been lying if he said he hadn't noticed a significant decrease in hugs from the elf… something like that was a cause to worry when it came to Eleniel. In all honesty, her being the Lord of Rivendell's youngest child did have its disadvantages, one of those being that she agreeably did have to act mature at some stages. However, that was only in public or when it needed to happen. If she acted like a child all the time, it would look bad on Elrond and the Peredhil family in general. But… had she really thought that she should honour her house and family by walking around with a straight face, fingers entwined and wearing formal clothes and a circlet every day? Valar, if Glorfindel saw somebody like that in the corridor he wouldn't hesitate at all in giving them the strangest look. Life would be simply boring if that were the case.
Shutting his eyes, he sighed and gently shook his head to himself. He'd been stupid not to ask about it before; not to help her before it got to the stage where crying was considered inappropriate for her. But, he regrettably hadn't thought on it too much and had dismissed it. In all fairness, it hadn't been going on long at all, but it had obviously been long enough that it had affected the elleth immensely. He sat up and crossed his own legs, gazing fondly at Eleniel sat before him. "Eleniel," he said, "if you do not think that I act like the mature adult I am every day of my life, then you have been hiding under a very dark rock indeed."
Eleniel didn't say anything, but she did turn her head slightly to the side, obviously wanting to hear what else the warrior had to say.
"Look, tithen pen. I understand why you think you have to act mature and grown-up, but that is not the case. Of course, on formal occasions, it would be best, but that is all. When you are walking through the House, or in the gardens, or eating a meal with your family… Eleniel, there is no need for formalities! You have never had to use them, and nobody expects you to do so now. Even if they were necessary at all times, you are still a child." He sighed and edged towards the girl, taking hold of her arm once he got close enough and tugging her back to him. She didn't resist, instead aiding him in pulling her back and turning to move towards him. She was curled up against his chest in no time at all, silent tears flowing from her eyes like a silvery waterfall. Glorfindel enclosed her hands in one of his and stroked his thumb along the back, holding her close to him with the other arm. "Nobody wants you to grow up, fileg. If Elrond could have his way, you would be a toddling elfling for the rest of your days, trust me." The corners of his mouth lifted at the slight smile that produced. "We haven't noticed much change in you as of late, disregarding the lack of hugs we have been receiving and the smile that has been lost to us recently… but, I suppose that was because you were trying to hide it from us, weren't you?" Eleniel nodded her head once. "Listen. I am in no way as mature as I probably should be. You know that. I will happily dance down the corridors with you and not care in the slightest what people think. Your brothers have no shame in playing the occasional prank on me, and then giggling like little children when it is successful. Erestor will roll his eyes and make cheeky comments. Your father, I am sure he is not ashamed to admit, has acted more immature than all of us put together at times!" He glanced down at Eleniel and was relieved to see she had stopped crying, only sniffling occasionally. Her hands were holding tightly onto his, but she had stopped trembling and was more or less calmly sat in his arms. "What I am trying to say is, nobody in this House ever really grows up. We are all a family here; every maid, every cook, every warrior… nobody cares if we act like children sometimes. In fact, it is what we look for. Behaving like the Royalty you are is, as I said, necessary in some instances, but you should, under no circumstances, feel like you need to change yourself completely to revolve around this 'Lady Eleniel persona'. You are one of the only things in our lives keeping us young, little star, and if you ever grew up, we would not know what to do with ourselves."
The first thing that came to Eleniel's mind was: he's right. Suddenly, all thoughts and doubts she'd ever had disappeared and was replaced with a sense of utter stupidity. Where had it come from – this urge to act the opposite to who she really was? Her mind was drawn to memories of Estel on his twentieth begetting day, dancing around the Hall of Fire like a lunatic, and her father tripping in the gardens one day and not even bothering to get up when he fell to the floor, simply laying on his back and laughing as the elves around him shared in his amusement. She remembered the time Elladan put green dye in Glorfindel's shampoo, and the golden warrior had had to walk around the House for the next week with emerald hair, but instead of being angry about it, he had flounced around with his new hair and annoyed the elder twin so much he helped him get the dye out the next day. The two of them had both shown their juvenile sides proudly. A picture of Erestor trying his hand at baking with her wandered into her brain, quickly flipping to the moment it turned into a flour fight and the two of them had walked out of the kitchen, looking like walking snowmen. These moments all banded together to create something so big and eye-opening that she just had to move to wrap both arms around Glorfindel's neck and make the two of them tumble backwards on the bed.
The balrog slayer made a noise of discomfort as his back hit the bed, but his pained expression could do nothing to prevent the smile that soon threatened to split his mouth. With ease, he wrapped both his own arms tightly around the elleth laying on him, feeling her head come to rest on his shoulder. "Something the matter?" he half-teased.
Eleniel smiled. "You made me feel better."
"Yes, I do have a gift for that, do I not?"
"You do."
Glorfindel closed his eyes and let out a deep breath. Thank Eru, he'd done it. Eleniel was never usually difficult when it came to telling people of her problems, but this time had been different, somehow. He'd been worried at first and upset that she wasn't able to come and speak to him as soon as she started feeling it, but he knew there'd been a reason. And, there was, whether it be because she'd been nervous to find out if she was right – that she should be acting more mature – or if she simply felt like she didn't need to talk to anyone about it because it is what it is. "Was there anything in particular that caused you to feel this way?" He had to ask. Surely her worries had stemmed from somewhere.
Eleniel shrugged. She lifted her eyes slightly to stare at the slowly-diminishing candlelight, the orange flame dancing in the light breeze that was coming through the open window. She sighed. "I guess… a lot of little things. The main one is just the case of me getting older. I don't know why, but I just suddenly felt like I had to get rid of my immaturity and… become someone different. Someone better. Ada's increased my training with you – I really don't want to go to that tomorrow, by the way – and Restor is giving me more lessons and I'm being involved in more council meetings. I'm allowed wherever I want, now; even out in the forest, which I've never been allowed to do before, and I- I don't like it…" She trailed off slightly, thinking back on these small – stupid – little things that had caused her to be this way.
"Alright, well, first of all, we can skip training tomorrow. You are tired, and it does not look like we'll be getting in a lot of sleep until Anor rises, so tomorrow we can sit outside instead or take a ride in the forest. Second, you cannot possibly be better than you are now. Do not ever say that you can, because you can't. You are the best you can be right now and always, Eleniel. Nothing you do or say will ever change that. You must also remember that immaturity is quite different to youthfulness; it gives off more of a sense of naivety and irresponsibility, which is something you have never and will never be. Next, your rise in work and training and invitations to meetings is simply a protocol your Adar must take. If anything were to happen to him, you would be next in line to rule Rivendell after the twins. Of course, that will not be for a long time yet, but it may happen. Also, he does these things because you are older and are able to handle them. I train you as I do so you can come out on more patrols with me and be able to defend yourself without me watching over your shoulder the entire time. The work Erestor sets for you is lore, things we all learn when we reach your age. If you are to become a leader, you must know these things. And… the rules your father has set aside… you disapprove of them?" He rose an eyebrow. "What have you done with my Eleniel? Surely, this cannot be the elleth who used to beg her father every other day to allow her out on her horse in the forest by herself?"
Eleniel rolled her eyes. "I don't disapprove, Fin. They just make me feel older, is all… makes me feel like I have been feeling."
Glorfindel nodded and smiled, moving his hand up to the back of her head so he could card his fingers through her platinum hair. "That is understandable. But these rules are not used anymore because you are not so much a little elfling, now. He trusts you."
Eleniel nodded slightly. "I get that," she said, "I just… well, you know."
"It makes you feel older. I know. But, despite all that I have said, we cannot stop your age from increasing. You will grow more mature, that is just how it is, but that doesn't mean your maturity can control you. Don't let it." He smiled at her obvious understanding and agreement. "Anything else?"
The elleth sighed. "Well… I guess there was that time I tripped and cut my arm last summer. I ran to Ada, and, well, I cried. Because it hurt!"
"I am sure it did, though it is surprising how you have not become immune to pain, since these things happen so often- ow!" He chuckled as Eleniel gently thumped his chest. "Alright. What happened next?"
"Some ellon saw me," she scoffed. "He told me I was acting like an elfling and it made me look weak… I suppose I really did take that to heart and so stopped going to Ada altogether whenever something like that happened afterwards."
Glorfindel's eyes opened and stared up at the ceiling, a look of absolute disbelief on his face. It was things like this – ellyn like this – that irritated and, quite frankly, made him want to smack somebody's head just to relieve himself of his anger. He quietly muttered something that had not been meant for Eleniel's ears, but she heard it nonetheless and grinned, despite the circumstances. "Perhaps I should show that boy what it feels like to cut your arm and require stitches with the help of my sword. Would you be so kind as to tell me his name?"
Eleniel rolled her eyes and raised her head, looking straight down at the lazily smiling face of the balrog-slayer. "No," she said, "you can't."
Glorfindel rose his eyebrows. "Oh?"
"Yes… I think he may have moved from Rivendell, actually," Eleniel said, gaining a distant look as she pretended to think about it.
Glorfindel was not convinced. "Mhm. I'll find out some day, just you wait." He reached up to poke the elleth's nose and she responded by throwing her arms back around his neck again and resting her head on his chest. "I really wish you had not taken that to heart," he said, "what he told you, I mean. You know he was wrong in what he did, though you may not have known that back then. He was foolish to ever say anything like that, and I cannot promise that he won't get a talking to once I find out who he is. It only took place a few months ago. I do wish you had come to speak to your father about it, or me or your brothers or Erestor… you know you would be feeling a lot better about it now."
Eleniel sighed. "I know. I spoke to Daerada, though."
"Really?"
"Yes. I don't think I wanted to, but, well, he is Daerada…"
Glorfindel chuckled. That ellon was a force to be reckoned with; if he wanted something, he got it. "At least you told somebody."
"I am sorry I did not tell you."
"Well, there is nothing to be done about it, now. But what that boy said is not, and will never be, true. Did he honestly expect you to pick yourself up after that fall and walk away with a straight face? He is an idiot. Or was… I'm not sure how he is now. Hopefully, he will have matured. But, as I said, seeking comfort is the least immature thing you can do, little one. I still want it, when I am feeling down, and I find it in Elrond, and you, of course. You're still allowed to seek comfort without being seen as a child." He smiled and glanced over at Eleniel. "Do you remember who told you that?"
The elleth nodded against his chest. "Mithrandir."
"That's right. A wise man, he is."
"Yes."
Neither of them were sure how long they stayed silent after that, Glorfindel absent-mindedly stroking his thumb along the base of Eleniel's neck, who was laying there with a content look on her face. She felt better, now, as she knew she always did after speaking with the warrior. It was, as he said, a gift he had. She wasn't sure how he did it, but he did. Maybe it was a magic trick. Maybe he was just especially good at making people feel better. She decided to stick with the latter. They were both quite happy there and would probably have fallen asleep in that exact position had Eleniel's stomach not rumbled. She sighed. "I'm hungry."
No response.
Eleniel furrowed her eyebrows. "Fin?"
Still nothing.
With an almost annoyed look on her face, she lifted her head enough to look down at Glorfindel. She'd had just enough time to see that his eyes were almost glazed over with sleep, but her movement caused him to blink rapidly and he took in a sharp breath and groaned tiredly. Eleniel grimaced, a guilty look crossing her face. "I'm so sorry, Fin. I didn't realize you were asleep," she apologised, looking as remorseful as ever. The warrior brushed it off, however, simply smiling fondly back and continuing to blink so his eyes could come completely back into focus.
"Shush. What was it you said?"
"It is fine. Go back to sleep-"
"Tell me what you said."
The elleth rolled her eyes. That elf – the last thing he ever thought of was himself. "I said I was hungry, but it's okay, honestly."
Glorfindel gently shoved her off him before heaving himself up into a sitting position, long legs stretched out as he proceeded to wearily rub his eyes. "What did we say earlier?" he asked, though he didn't so much as glance at Eleniel beside him. "If you did not mean it, you would not have told me. Come on, we will head down to the kitchens and get something for that bottomless stomach of yours and then return to bed. How does that sound?"
Eleniel nodded her agreement and gratefully accepted the thin blanket he handed her, wrapping it around her shoulders before standing to her feet and following the balrog-slayer out of his bedroom door. She couldn't help but notice him continuously yawning throughout the entire journey to the kitchens and grinned at the sight of the small tears which had started to crowd in the corners of his ocean eyes. "You look a little tired," she speculated, though it was mainly teasing, and Glorfindel, in his tired state, was not impressed. He gave the girl a look and reached out to shove her in front of him, making her squeal and almost trip over the blanket which was long enough to reach the floor.
All traces of fatigue disappeared with the snort that suddenly escaped the golden elf. He put a fist up to his mouth and watched with beaming eyes as Eleniel stumbled over the blanket and stopped a little way off up the corridor, breathing hard and angrily throwing the blanket to the ground. "Sorry! I'm sorry, Eleniel, are-" he laughed again "-are you alright?"
"Perfectly fine, no thanks to you."
"Oh, come on. I just-"
"You just shoved me, yes, I know."
Glorfindel rolled his eyes and walked forward, bending down to pick the discarded blanket back up. "I am sorry. Can you forgive me?" he asked, holding out his hand and raising one perfect golden eyebrow, a smile gracing his lips. Eleniel pretended to think for a moment, and Glorfindel, seeing she was simply playing with him, now, grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him. She was effectively trapped against his chest and Glorfindel, being so tall, having to duck his head down to kiss the elleth's pointed ear, but it would have been a very endearing – alright, it was sweet. Possibly even adorable – sight for anybody who happened to be wandering the corridors in the extremely early hours of the morning. It would not have been much of a difference to anything they usually saw between both the balrog-slayer and his little warrior; the two had never been afraid to show affection for each other – Glorfindel especially. He would stop her in the corridors after a long and gruelling morning training his warriors and simply hug her for a quick moment before smiling and walking off again. He wasn't sure why, but a hug from Eleniel, even if he was the one to initiate it, always made him feel a whole lot better. It was no different to how she felt about him.
They walked the rest of the way as quietly as they could, aware that they were passing many rooms that were probably housing sleeping elves and tiptoed into the kitchens like children aiming to steal cookies from the cookie jar. Glorfindel entered first and looked around for the candle that was usually sitting on the table as you walked in. Strangely enough, it wasn't there, but he soon found out the reason behind that as he frowned and moved to look around the room, eyes flickering across and pausing on a small source of light at the other end of the large kitchen. He wasn't able to make out who it was at first, but when a long sigh reached his ears he rose his eyebrows, took Eleniel's hand in his and started to walk towards him.
"Well, good morning, Elrond!" he said, probably a lot more cheerfully than he should have been at that time. Elrond – for it was the elf lord who was leaning against a wall, mug of what seemed to be hot tea in his hand and a positively exhausted look on his face – could not have jumped any more at the sudden surprise. He jolted, the tea spilling over the edges of the mug and splashing onto the floor, narrowly missing his boots.
"Valar, Glorfindel," he said quietly, accepting his friend's help in taking the mug from him and placing it on the table next to him where the lit candle was also sat.
The balrog-slayer grimaced in return. "I'm sorry, Elrond," he said.
"You have said that a lot recently, haven't you?" Eleniel said with a small smirk, crossing her arms over her chest and staring expectantly up at the warrior.
He rolled his eyes. "You stay quiet," he said. "We are only here because of you."
It seemed to be this moment that Elrond noticed his daughter stood behind his friend. He frowned and craned his neck slightly, ignoring Glorfindel's fussing as the ellon continued to wipe at the tea stains that he couldn't even see in the dim light. "Do I have the pleasure of knowing why you and my daughter are awake at Eru knows what time in the morning?" he asked, only slightly wanting to know the answer.
"I was hungry," Eleniel said. She looked at her father for a moment, noting how he was using the wall behind him for support, one leg bent at the knee as it crossed over the other. His hair was free of its usual raven braids, but it looked as though he'd either not bothered to brush it or had only just woken up – she guessed it was the latter, if she was to go by what time it was – and his grey eyes were not as bright and alert as they usually were. "Are you okay, Ada?" she asked, clear concern in her voice.
Elrond looked up and smiled dully. "Yes, my little one, I am fine."
Glorfindel, for probably the tenth time that night, looked unconvinced. He made a face of concern. "Nightmares?"
Elrond sighed. "Unfortunately so, mellon nin. Unfortunately so. Silly things will not stop waking me up."
It wasn't a common thing for the Lord of Rivendell to get nightmares. They were of strange things – orcs and wargs and trolls constantly plaguing his dreams – but he, fortunately, didn't put it down to his foresight and simply said it was another human weakness that elves had somehow grown to have as well. He didn't have them often, but recently he'd been a little more on edge, what with a dispute with a nearby human settlement and the council meetings, paperwork and stress that accompanied it. Estel's injury from his patrol probably had not helped much either, and the golden warrior was quite surprised to find that he was not actually currently with his son. Although, thinking about it, he'd probably been told to go to bed by his two – very overbearing, if he might add – eldest sons.
"Are you alright?" Glorfindel asked, blinking yet again as his tiredness seemed to be returning to him.
"I will be. I just came in here for a hot drink to clear my head before I attempted to go back to sleep."
"Mhm. You look exhausted."
"So do you, my friend."
Glorfindel smiled. "I am simply tired. At least I am able to sleep."
The corners of Elrond's lips turned up slightly, but his face betrayed all signs of actual amusement at what the balrog-slayer said. Nightmares were not a pretty thing to deal with – even for a strong elf warrior and lord – especially when you were in a room, alone, without a wife to hold…
Eleniel wasn't even bothered by the impulse she had that made her move towards her father and envelop him in a hug. Elrond was startled for just a moment, his eyebrows snapping up in no time to their rightful place just below his hairline, but it didn't take long for him to return the hug, arms wrapping around his daughter and holding her close. "Well," he said, "I must say I have not had a hug as big as this in a long time. Why would that be, hm?"
He was smiling, and his head tilted slightly to try and catch one of Eleniel's, but he found her face had gone extremely sullen. Confused, he glanced up at Glorfindel, and the balrog-slayer gave him a look that clearly sent the message: I'll tell you later. He nodded, accepting it, and pat his daughter gently on the back before ducking down to press a kiss to her blonde head. "Alright, what would you like to eat?"
Eleniel sniffed and pulled away from the older elf, finally letting loose a small smile. She turned and pointed feebly up at the cupboard that she knew she'd be too small to reach. "Grapes, Fin?" she asked, and Glorfindel smiled, ruffling her hair and reaching up to pick out the fruit the cook always stored away in a high cupboard where she knew small elflings – it had been put there when the twins were at a toddling age – couldn't reach it. He handed them to Eleniel and yawned yet again, rubbing a hand exhaustedly over his drooping eyes.
Elrond chuckled. "Glorfindel, I think you would benefit well from sleep. Why don't you go, and I will wait until this little night owl has finished her fruit before taking her to her room."
Eleniel paused in chewing for a moment and looked up at Glorfindel, who immediately reassured her with a smile and turned back to Elrond. "She was going to sleep with me tonight, actually. She has had a – how should we put it? – rough night."
The Lord of Rivendell frowned and turned his gaze on Eleniel. She, however, seemed almost too interested in the grapes she was currently popping in her mouth, a clear sign that she didn't want to talk about it and would let Glorfindel do it all for her later.
"El, how about you stay with your Ada tonight?" the balrog-slayer asked. "I fear that I will fall asleep where I'm standing in a minute if I do not get to bed soon, and I think you may be able to help him with his nightmares." What he was saying was true; he did find that Elrond never seemed to get bad dreams when his daughter – or any of his children, for that matter – was with him, and that elf really did deserve, if not blatantly need, sleep that night. However, he also knew it would be good for Eleniel to stay with her father that night. After all, everything she'd been feeling had probably been noticed by him as well; as he'd said, her decrease in hugs and usual beaming attitude had not gone ignored, simply not addressed.
Eleniel nodded. "Okay."
"No need to sound so saddened by the thought of it," Elrond teased, "I can manage fine without you."
"Ada! I didn't mean- I want to stay with you-"
"I know, fileg, I know. Valar. You really have lost your sense of humour, haven't you?" Eleniel went quiet yet again, and Elrond rolled his eyes before reaching out and snagging her arm, pulling her into a stronger hug. "I am teasing, Eleniel. Whatever has happened with you, I do not mean to keep bringing it up. And though you clearly do not want to tell me yet what it is, I do hope that you will let Glorfindel do it instead."
Glorfindel rose an eyebrow. "She will. And even if she did not, I would not leave you in the dark with it." He meant it. What Eleniel had been feeling lately was too important for her father not to know about it – he was, after all, her parent, and he deserved to know what had been going on with his daughter lately. "Alright, I really must head off to bed, and you two should also as soon as you have finished your fruit and tea. Anor will have risen, soon!" He walked forward and Eleniel moved out of her father's arms and into his. Still, she felt safe. Safer. Than she had been for quite some time. It was the same in Elrond's arms, and she knew it would still be so in her brothers' and Erestor's and possibly anyone else's that she saw the next day (or – later that day). In a way, it was like she had been trapped in a bubble of anxieties and insecurities and Glorfindel had burst it with everything he said. Again, what more could she say than that ellon had a way of making things seem bright even in the darkest of times?
"Good night, little one," he said quietly, holding her against him. "You do not have to worry about anything anymore, alright? If you think of something else you need to say, let me know in the morning and we can talk some more. But for now, get some sleep and make sure your Adar-" here, he stared pointedly at the dreary elf lord stood behind them "-gets some, too. Can you do that?"
Eleniel nodded against his chest. "Yes. Love you, Fin."
"I love you, too. Sweet dreams." He kissed her forehead and gave her a smile before nodding at Elrond and moving to walk out of the kitchen. Eleniel saw him reach his hands up yet again to rub at his eyes, and he'd probably yawn another five times before he actually reached his room. She smiled. Everything that elf did, he did for others. Barely any time was spent on himself, and Eleniel felt immensely grateful simply to have him there in her life. He'd taught her a lot of what she knew today, and he showed her what it meant to have fun… without him, she probably would not even be alive today, whether that be from not knowing how to use a sword or getting stabbed by an orc when he wasn't there to watch out for her. Whatever it was, the whole House was lucky to have the balrog-slayer, and everybody knew it.
"Eleniel." The elleth turned to face her father. He had placed his mug to the side and was still leaning against the wall, small smile on his face, arms crossed over his chest. "Are you alright?"
She nodded. "Yes." Elrond continued to look at her, and she sighed. "I am now," she corrected. "I wasn't earlier, but I spoke to Fin and he helped me make it better. So, I am fine. Now."
Elrond had never felt upset about the fact his daughter often went to somebody that wasn't him when she was ever feeling like she needed to talk to someone. He understood that it was harder sometimes – especially for her – to talk to your father about something that was bothering you. Eleniel seemed to have different people for different things. If she had a problem with an ellon, for example, it was always Elrohir. Maybe it was surprising, but maybe not. Whatever the case, Elrond trusted Glorfindel to know what he needed to be told and what he didn't, and he did not feel any malcontent towards him for being his daughter's go-to that night. Eleniel had decided to speak to him for a reason, and he respected that decision.
"Come here," he said. Eleniel turned and saw his arms slightly open in invitation.
"You want another hug?" she asked, a hint of a smile playing on her lips. "Would that not be the… third one tonight?"
Elrond rose an eyebrow. "Just give your Adar a hug, Eleniel," he said, "and we shall say it is to make up for the ones I've been missing recently."
The elleth didn't take that in the way her father feared, instead simply smiling and moving to hug him yet again. Just like Glorfindel, being in his arms reminded her of times when she had been younger, bounding into them every chance she got, clinging onto him like she could go nowhere without him. Even that was true now; she could not stand being away from him for too long, and that brought back another sense of youthfulness into her life, because it was nice to need someone. It was nice to want comfort, and it was even nicer to receive it.
Where was the childishness in that? Eleniel couldn't see it, now. It was strange how her own brain puzzled her sometimes. One thing happened, put something in her mind, and then that something grew into a huge problem that almost made her insane. She couldn't say it happened often, but it had happened before, and every time she felt utterly stupid after it. However, she knew she had no reason to be. As Glorfindel said, if she was worrying about it, then it was something to worry about. It wasn't stupid. And she believed him.
Where was the stupidity in worrying about something? It happened to everyone. It wasn't a weakness, or something that made you seem less of a person, it was simply part of what was called life.
"I hope you know you can come to me whenever you want to," Elrond said into his daughter's hair, "I am here to listen."
Eleniel nodded. "I know, Ada. I just felt as though I needed to speak to someone I wasn't as… well. I wasn't as close to, I suppose. It is sometimes easier that way." And it was. It wasn't that she was any less close to Glorfindel than she was Elrond, but the balrog-slayer wasn't her father. That, somehow, made a difference.
"I understand that, my little one."
The two drew apart not long after that and talked quietly while Eleniel finished her grapes. Elrond could see his little girl returning to him, and he'd barely noticed her being gone. That spoke to him, telling him how much she had wanted to hide it simply because she either thought whatever she needed to say stupid, or didn't want to bother anyone. But she seemed to be alright for now. After she'd eaten her food, the two walked silently back to Elrond's room, deciding to check on Glorfindel on their way and finding him sprawled out on his bed, golden hair fanned out on his pillow. He had probably barely even made it through the door before collapsing on his bed and passing out. They'd had to share a quiet laugh at that, eyes widening and hands grappling to quickly shut the door as Eleniel giggled a little too loudly and the warrior moved in his sleep as if waking up.
If Eleniel actually thought about it, she would have counted this towards examples of her father acting less mature than he usually did, and it would have probably made her feel happier… but, she didn't need it. She couldn't feel happier. Glorfindel had said enough to get her back on the right track.
She lay in bed that night, Elrond asleep beside her, and thought back on everything Glorfindel had told her. She remembered standing outside his room and hiding when he came into view, only for him to call her back. Thank the Valar she hadn't ignored him and turned away. If she had, she'd probably be in her own room, wallowing in her pit of self-loathing and utter confusion. But, she wasn't. She was here, next to her father, not like an elfling, but like an elf. Like any person. Like any normal person. She doubted she'd ever grow out of this – seeking comfort – and that was okay. If she grew out of that, then that would mean she had grown out of reasons for comfort, and that was impossible. For anyone.
In a way, she stood by her word that what she had been thinking about was, maybe not stupid, but, rather, silly. It had been silly of her to think she would have ever been asked to change who she was and 'act like an adult'. What even was acting like an adult? All it meant was a little added paperwork, a husband, children, responsibilities… there was not much of a difference in the way you were supposed to act, though, was there? It wasn't like you magically changed your attitude and personality overnight as soon as you reached a certain age.
And, as she turned on her side and moved closer to her father, she thought about how horrible life would be if she wasn't able to do the things she could do. How different would it be if she protested every time Glorfindel put her over his shoulder to throw her in the fountain instead of laughing with joy? How different would it be if she got mad every time Estel playfully pushed her over in training instead of rolling her eyes and pushing – harder – back? How different would it be if she got mad and told Daeron to stop acting like a child every time he stole her strawberries at meal times instead of hitting him on the shoulder and telling him to get his own strawberries?
Very different, that is what it would be.
She would not be Eleniel.
And nobody wanted that.
Besides, what would they be without Rivendell's Star?
"Youthfulness is not determined by age.
It is determined by one's life force.
One who possesses hope is forever young.
One who continually advances is forever beautiful."
Elvish used:
Goheno nin, tithen fileg nin – Forgive me, my little bird
Tithen pen – Little one
Fileg – Bird
Ada – Dad/Daddy
Adar – Father
Daerada – Grandad
Mellon nin – My friend
Well, what can I say? I've got no idea where this came from. No planning was included, I kind of just went for it and made up things as I went. Loosely based on a lot that's been happening in my life recently, I guess. Writing makes me feel better.
I know I haven't written/updated any Tolkien stories in quite some time, and I'm not sure if this is the start of a change or simply just a one-off.
I've come to realize that I haven't updated most of my stories – especially Rivendell's Star – because I feel so out of touch with them, if that's a way to describe it. I started a lot of them when I was younger, and I definitely feel as though my writing has improved since then (has it? XD) which is why I hate going back to these old, messy, unplanned stories. They almost make me cringe.
Which brings us to the question: how would you feel if I rewrote Rivendell's Star?
I hope you guys can forgive me for not posting anything Tolkien-related in such a long time, and I also hope that you enjoyed reading this monster of a fic XD (Don't think I've ever written something this long before! :O)
Well. I'll see you when I see you. Good bye for now! ~ Gre3nleaf