A/N

Inspired by the whole "reenact the womb" thing :)... I hope you will like this, let me know :)
Thanks a lot to Amy :)

Keep Me Warm

I let the cup I was holding, fall from my hands. I don't even feel the pain when I step on one of the shards. The only thing that I can feel now, is the fear and the panic rising in my chest.
I see my sister on the bed, struggling to take a full breath. She's choking and for a moment I can't move. My mind tells me that she's going to die and if that happens, I will die with her.

But it's just a moment. Suddenly it all becomes so clear, and I have one of those moments when time and space take on another meaning and you see and hear things in a different way, and in that moment you feel like a veil is lifted from your eyes, and you're really living for the first time.

I come back to life for her.

I rush to the bathroom and take her puffer from the cabinet on the sink. I know she keeps it there and I feel so stupid that I haven't put it closer to her. She's sick and I should have known this could happen.
I run back to her room and jump on the bed where she's now lying down with her hands on her chest. She's becoming red and I can feel the panic setting again. I take her head and lift it a little, and with the next short breath, I release the medicine. She opens her eyes and looks at me. After a couple of more breaths, I give it to her again.

She's looking at me with her big, watery eyes. I can see the panic as I put her inhaler aside and bring her up to me. I lift her a little more and take position behind her and start to rub my hand gently on her back. I can hear her sobbing and I can feel her fear through her shaking body. I know I'm shaking a little, too, and I can feel my own tears falling from my eyes. But I have to be strong. I know how much she hates this, how scared she is. I can let her see my weakness.

"It's ok, Sar... it's over..." I try to calm her. She suddenly turns and I'm not fast enough to wipe my tears away.
"I'm sorry," she says, a little more calm. Her sobs are fading away.
"Hey, hey... it's not your fault," I say to her. She reaches out a hand to wipe my tears away.
"I didn't mean to scare you," she says weakly, and she looks so exhausted.
"It's ok, I... I just hate when this happens," I say looking at her face, she's sweating and trembling.
"Tell me about it," she says, trying to lift the mood.

I chuckle softly and move her bangs away from her face. As my hand touches her, my smile fades away. She's burning. I touch her face and then her hands. She's burning and freezing at the same time. This cold has to be worse than she thought.
I lie her down again and look at her. Her eyes are a red, and I think that maybe it's not just from her crying.

"How are you feeling, Sasa?" I ask to her, concerned.
"I'm freezing, and I'm tired," she says, whimpering a little.
"Just, lie here, I'll be back in a moment," I say to her hopping out of her bed.
"It's a shame, I was in the mood for a run," she says, and I turn a moment just to see her smiling at me, and I smile back.

She always does that, tries to make things not look as bad as they are. She always tries to ease the worry in my eyes. But how can I not worry about her? She's everything to me. She's my little sister.
I go to the bathroom and take a towel, damping it, then I go back to her room. She's there, with her eyes closed. I don't know if she has fallen asleep so I try to clean the layer of sweat from her face as gently as possible. When I touch her she opens her eyes again and looks at me.

"Thank you for taking care of me TeeTee," she says so softly that I almost miss it.
"Hey, what are you talking about? You're my little sis, and I love you so much. It's my job to take care of you," I say smiling at her.

When she's sick she tends to... talk, differently. She's more affectionate and sweet. Maybe it's the fever. I push her hair away from her face again, and then I put my hand on her shoulder, and that's when I feel that her shirt it's damp.

"Hey Sasa, your top is wet, I thought you were freezing," I say looking at her.
"Yeah, but I was burning up... before..." she says, smiling weakly.
"Look, you need to change, you can't lie in wet clothes," I say standing from her bed again.
"Tee... just... I can't really move," she says, and I can see how really weak she is.

Right now she looks like I can break her by just looking at her, she seems so fragile that I just want to hug her. She has to be really sick because she hates to show her weakness, especially to me. Maybe it's just a sister thing, she doesn't want to show me that she needs help, and maybe she doesn't want to be treated like 'the little one'. Anyway, it's so rare to see her like this.

"Hey, just let me help you, I have an idea," I say to her smiling.
I take down the sheets and reach for her shirt, starting to lift it up.
"Tee, no..." she says, suddenly shy.
"Hey don't worry, and anyway, it's not like you can fight back," I say sticking my tongue out at her. I take her shirt away and then I see why she was that shy. She isn't wearing a bra and there she was, with her chest exposed.

"Oh," I say as my breath catches in my throat, "I'm sorry, I didn't kn-" but she cut me off.
"Please, don't look at me like that," she says even more weakly than before, and I see her face turning red as she looks to the side, then she looks at me again and giggles a little. I'm blushing too.
"I'm the naked one, and you're blushing?" she says to me, and I can feel even more heat rising on my face. Why am I blushing at my sister?

"I'm sorry, I... it's just... I didn't mean to embarrass you," I try to find an excuse, but it's even weaker than her body right now. She chuckles again, and I blush at her cute smile.
What's wrong with me?

"Stop it, Tegan," she says mockingly. And even if she's making me blush harder, I'm happy to see her smile on her face again.
"Yeah, maybe if you stop mentioning it, it will be easier," I say to her, and she smiles, just nodding her head.

I reach the waistband of her pajama pants, but I stop, and suddenly look at her in the eyes.
"Please, tell me you have underwear under your pants," I say, and giggle. She joins me and nod her head again. I let a sigh of relief, pretending to wipe the sweat from my forehead.

She lifts her hips to help me with her pants, and a moment later she's in front of me only in her boyshorts. She has her eyes closed when I take a look at her body, and I'm glad she can't see my face. I haven't seen her like that in ages, probably since we were kids. She opens her eyes and looks directly into mine, and I see her blush.

"Why... why are you looking at me like that?" she says, and this time it comes out like a whisper, but there's no fun in her voice. I can't say a thing, I just shake my head smiling.
I take the towel again, and start to pass it on her body, when I reach her chest, I look at her but she turns away embarrassed. I can't avoid looking at her, and thinking just how beautiful she is.
"You know, I thought your body would be more... similar to mine," I say to her, and she looks back at me. I smile a little and she looks confused.
"You're beautiful, Sar," I say, and I blush at my own words.
What the hell I'm doing?

"I know," she says, with a big grin on her face. But even if she's playing it cool, I can see in her eyes that, in a way, my words have quite an effect on her. She turns her head away again when my hand graze the skin of her chest, and when I slowly go down, I can see the muscles of her stomach tense under her skin. Her skin looks so soft that I just want to touch it, but I can't, not like that. I shake these thoughts from my head and quickly finish my work with her legs too, and then put the comforter on her body again.
I turn to go to the bathroom to put away the towel when I hear her little voice.

"I' said I was freezing and you leave me here naked? Thank you TeeTee... I love you so much," she says, she's not upset, she's just playing with me. I come back to her room in just seconds. I can see that she's shaking under the sheets.
I walk toward the bed and when I'm near the edge, I look at her for a moment, then take the hem of my shirt and slowly take it off, looking at her in her eyes.

"T—TeeTee... what the hell are you doing?" she says, and her voice becomes more uneven as she states in that strangely piercing tone.
"Hey, calm down, just trust me, this is the best way to warm you," I say, starting to put down my pants, too.

When I look back at her eyes, she's watching my body with such intensity that I can feel my skin burn. I don't really understand why her gaze makes me feel like that. But even more, I can't understand why is she looking at me like that in the first place. Maybe I'm just embarrassed, but why? She's my sister.
She meets my eyes again and blush a little.

"You were right, we are so... different," she says, and she tries a smile but I can see that she's awkward because I caught her staring at my body.
But God, I'm awkward too, in this situation.

I slowly make my way under the comforter, near her.
"Turn on your side, Sar," I say to her, she looks at me for a long moment then she turns giving me her back.
"I don't like this," she says, like a little child that has to take bitter medicine.
"I know, but it will help you, I promise," I say, and with that, I get a little closer to her. I slide my hand around her front and gently pull her to me. When our skin meets, I can feel her exhaling a trembling breath, and a little sigh escapes her lips. Her body is really cold.

"It's not fair that I'm the only one naked here," she says. For a moment I don't know what to do. I don't even understand if she's joking because her voice is just a whisper. But I do it, I withdraw my hand from her body and unclasp my bra, taking it away.
"Jesus, Tee, I was joking, I don't want yo-" she starts, but her words die in her throat when I resume my position, pressing my chest to her back.
"Next time think about what you're saying," I say in her ear. The truth is that I am really embarrassed that I haven't sensed her mocking tone, but now it's a little too late.

I feel a rush of heat run through my whole body when my nipples stiffen against her cold skin. I can feel my face burn in shame.

"Oh my God," I say under my breath and I'm not even sure she can hear me, I hope she can't.
"I'm sorry," I say to her, and I don't even know why, maybe she hasn't noticed at all. My shaky breath is hitting the back of her neck and I can see the goosebumps rising on her skin.
"Don't be TeeTee... this is really helping," she says to me. I calm a little and press my lips to her skin, where her short hair stops, and her pale skin begins. She sighs contently, and I smile against her neck. It's so soft. I can hear her giggle at my smile, and I squeeze her a little more.

Ten minutes later, I can't tell if she's awake or not. I am too focused on the feeling of her skin under my fingertips as I gently rub her belly. Her skin here is so smooth, and from time to time I can feel her muscles tense, then relax again, and every time I can feel my heart skip a beat. Why am I so scared?

I don't know what comes into me when I trace the back of her neck with the tip of my nose. When my nose comes in contact with her short hair, I take a deep breath. She smells so good.
I feel her hand grab mine on her stomach, her fingers occupying the space between mine. Without even thinking, I clasp my fingers around hers. Her hand it's so cold. I'm afraid I had upset her by touching her like that, and I'm afraid this is why she blocked my hand. I don't want her to be upset with me. I like this, her skin feel so good.

"I'm sorry... did I... did I wake you?" I ask, but it comes out so low that I'm not sure if she even hears me even if my mouth is near her ear. I feel her body shiver when my breath hits the skin there. She shakes her head in response.
"But you would, if I had been asleep," she says. A little giggle escapes her lips and I relax again seeing that she's joking, easing the tension I felt inside.
"I like it, by the way... it's so calming," she says in a whisper, as if she's afraid she's saying something wrong.

I feel her move her hand trying to free her fingers, so I let my grip go. I'm ready to withdraw my hand but she presses it back to her stomach with her own. She starts to rub her palm on he back of my hand, then she presses a little between my fingers, rubbing hers between mine. When she does that, my body reacts and I feel the heat rising in my center, and my heart starts to beat faster. I take in a deep, shaking breath, pressing my chest further into her back, and if she hasn't noticed my hard nipples, there's no way she's not feeling them now. As I do that, she pushes her bum a little more against me, and I can't control the movement of my hips to meet her.
Oh my God, whats happening?

I tighten my grip on her body, squeezing her, trying to cover whats happening to my body. I'm just holding her tight. Nothing is happening. But I exhale another shaky breath on her back as I lean my forehead to the back of her head. She lets out a little whimper when I squeeze her and my breath hits her. I freeze, not really understanding what's happening to me.

"Tegan," she says, and she's trying to move, so I let her go. She's turning and I close my eyes, I'm afraid of the look on her face, I'm afraid she wants to ask me to go. She doesn't want me here.
I feel her body slide down a little, then I feel her breath on my collarbone, I open my eyes again.

"TeeTee... you're so warm..." she says, as she moves closer to me again. Her head is under my chin, and her face is pressed against my chest. I can feel her nose touching my skin, it's so cold. But her lips are touching the skin on the spot where my heart is beating, and they are so soft and warm. I can feel her smile on my skin.

"Your heart is beating so fast..." she says. And I feel my face burn with embarrassment. Why is she saying a thing like that? Please, stop.
"I'm so sor-" I try to say, but she stops me moving her head to put her ear on my heart. And doing that, her lips brush against the skin of my breast. I shiver a little and I can feel her smile again.
"It's so strong... it's... it's beautiful," she says, I squeeze her with the hand that I didn't even notice I'd put on her side.
"You have a big, warm, wonderful heart, Tee," she says. And I feel the sting in my eyes. I can't believe she's saying things like that to me. Maybe it's just the fever that is making her talk, open up. But I hope that it's only making her walls weaker, and it's not some delirious talk. Please God, tell me she's not delirious.

I feel the first tears start to fall and I try to sniff them back. But she senses it and I feel her moving slowly. Her nose touches the skin of my neck, and traces my jawline before I can bend my head to look at her. She looks at me intently.

"Are you crying, Tee? Why?" she asks to me, wiping my tears away and resting her hand on my neck. I know she can feel my pulse and I know she does when she slips her gaze to her hand.
"It's just... I'm happy. You never let me [touch you, hold you tight, feel you] help you. It feels good [your skin against mine, your breath and lips caressing me] to be helpful," I say smiling at her.
God please, take this thought away, I can't have these thoughts with her in my arms. I shouldn't have these thoughts at all.

She looks at me again, and her eyes are so deep that I'm losing myself in them.
"I should let you do it more often, it feels so good, it makes me feel... protected and... loved?" she says, without looking away. I know that this kind of confidence came from her fever and her sick state. But please, tell me her words are coming from her heart and not her feverish mind.

"Of course I love you, Sasa," I say looking at her, and my confidence came from my big heart and the strong feelings that I have inside. I know my face is red again and I can see her smile and chuckle softly, and it's the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. I smile back to her and kiss her on the nose and then press my lips to her forehead, keeping them there. She's still burning. I sigh a little.

"I love you too, Tee," she says, and kisses the spot under my jawline. She doesn't know but it's one of my most sensitive spots, and her lips are so soft against my skin. I take in another deep breath. She moves back again to look at me.

"Would you... hold me?" she asks to me, and even if her gaze never left my eyes, she looks so shy and her voice is so soft. "Would you... keep me warm tonight?" she adds.
My heart melts at her words. Her voice never sounded sweeter. I smile at her, pecking her on her forehead again. I will hold you forever if you need it.

"Of course, I'm not going anywhere," I say, as she nuzzles her head in the crook of my neck, sighing happily. I slide my arms around her, trying to embrace her, covering as much skin as I can on her back. I pull her into me further. I can feel her breasts just under mine, and her skin is so soft. I squeeze her a little more and I feel her trying to slide one of her legs between mine to rest it in a more comfortable position, so I part my legs and she bends hers. Her thigh is lightly touching my center and I'm suddenly conscious that I'm... damp. Please, please, please, tell me she can't feel it. What's happening to me?

I feel the need to cry again... but I can't. I suddenly feel her lips on my collarbone, she kisses me there softly.

"Thank you, TeeTee," she says, and she sound so sweet and sleepy that I want to hug her so tight till we become one.
I kiss the top of her head and rest my chin here.
"You're welcome," I say softly, rubbing her back with my hands.

After a couple of minutes, I feel her hand resting on my back, but it's ice cold and it makes me arch my back.
"Oh my God," I say hissing, but it's not for the cold. As I arch my back, my core grinds against her thigh that she moves up as she embrace me. I can feel it in my whole body and even if I try so hard, I can't stop myself from moving against her a couple more times. As I stop I can feel my ragged breath.
Please, please, please... what I'm doing? Please, don't run away.

She removes her hand from my back but she didn't move her leg away.
"I'm sorry," she says into my neck. And I don't know what to say. Has she noticed?
"It's... it's just... your hands are like ice," I try to keep my voice calm as I steady my breath.

I can see that she doesn't know where to rest her hand, so I take it and rest it between our bodies and embrace her again. I flinch a little at the coldness of her skin.
I feel her smile against my neck.
"I can feel your muscles under your skin," she says, her lips touching my pulse point sending shivers down my spine.
I feel the back of her hand rubbing my stomach.

"Your skin is so soft, Tee…" she says, and I can tell that she's half asleep when she says it. I feel her take a deep breath and find a more comfortable position with her forehead pushed against my chest.
"You smell so good, you know that?" she says so softly that I almost can't hear it. She seems to be giving voice to all of my thoughts. I squeeze her closer to me, as close as we could physical be, and a wave of love washes over me.

She moves again to look at me.
"Don't leave me Tee," she says, looking so intently in my eyes that I can't breath anymore. I try to smile in response, because I can't talk.
She leans in, rubbing her nose to mine. I shut my eyes tightly, trying to hold back my instincts. But suddenly I feel it.
Her lips brushing mine. She's not even kissing me, her lips are just touching mine so lightly that I don't even know if they are really there. Then she embrace my bottom lip with hers. Her touch is so gentle and soft that I feel the need to open my eyes to make sure this is really happening. But I can't, I can't move at all.

Before I could do anything, her lips are gone and her head is on my chest again. I'm sure she can feel my heart hammering in my chest.
"Please, don't leave me..." she says. I feel her breath grow steady as she falls asleep.

"I would never..." I say in a whisper.