What Time Made Real
The Person Behind My Mask (The Real Me)
Summary: I'm not done watching the show yet, but just imagine this. Warning, SLASH!!! That means male/male relationship. After seven years of living alone with Kaoru, Yahiko realizes his love for Kenshin and how blind he was to not have seen it till now. Sorry if it's a little dumb, it's my first slash.
It all started seven years ago, when I was only ten years old. I was a thief, working for a local gang to pay off the debt left when my mother died. I never cared for my `job' pick pocketing people. I was soft at heart and usually returned with little money. Not because I wasn't good at picking peoples pockets, but because I usually let the guilt get to me. I usually returned the money just as soon as I had taken it. That was, until I met him. Kenshin Himura, better known as Battousai the Manslayer. Of course, if I had known this ahead of time, I never would have tried picking his pocket. I got the wallet, but was pounded into the ground by Kaoru, Kenshin's female friend. I forcefully returned the wallet but Kenshin gave it to me by free will. Of course, being a boy of honor, I couldn't take it. So, I ran. In the end, I returned with Kaoru and Kenshin to the Kamiya Dojo as Kaoru's apprentice. We were constantly getting into trouble and meeting new people. Like Sanosuke Sagara, better known as Zanza the fighter for hire, and Megumi Takani, a doctor who was forced to make Opium. Those days were full of laughter, no matter what happened we were a team, Kenshin, Kaoru, Sanosuke, and myself. Best friends close enough to be family. Then, one day, Kenshin left us. Of course, we couldn't accept this and followed him all the way to Kyoto. In the end, we met back up and after to long, we went our separate ways. I returned with Kaoru to the Kamiya Dojo. Now, so many years later, I realize something I didn't back in those days. It was more than stubborn pride and idolization that drove me to follow Kenshin all those years ago. It was not only loyalty to Kenshin, but to myself. To my heart. Now, I know what I didn't back then, and that is that I am in love with Kenshin Himura. I dream about him every night. Hoping and wishing he'd return. I fantasize about the day he returns. I imagine what he'd think when he saw the handsome man I have become. Not like the annoying brat I used to be, but a grown man. I run the things I would say to him through my head. About all the things I've done. How I mastered the art of the Kamiya Kasshin Style and many others. I dream about telling him who I am and what I feel. I imagine that he feels the same, embracing me. So, when I wake up, my dream state fades away and reality sets in, like it does every morning. I stand, stretching. I sighed, putting on my clothes and sliding open the door. I smelt the delicious aroma of food wafting in from the kitchen. Kaoru had gotten much better at cooking during these many years. So, I slowly made my way to the dining room. I slid the door open and my heart stopped. Kaoru stopped mid-sentence, looking up at me. As did the person she was talking to. With long red hair pulled back into a ponytail on the back of his head and a cross shaped scare on his left cheek. His blue eyes met mine, shining happily.
"Yahiko" He said happily. My heart was pounding widely and I wondered weather or not if I should pinch my cheek, just to make sure it was real. Kaoru was smiling, looking as flustered as I felt.
"Look Yahiko, Kenshin just showed up this morning out of nowhere." Kaoru said. Kenshin turned his attention back to Kaoru.
"I'm sorry to be a bother Ms. Kaoru." He said, his usual smile on his face. I didn't know how to react. He was back. After all these years he had returned, like all of my dreams had said he would. But suddenly, everything I had planned to say, every action I planned to make, they all faltered as my eyes burned into him. Sitting, laughing, as if he had only just been out to get some tofu. I wasn't sure why, but my feelings were going crazy. I was jealous of Kaoru for being the first to see him, angry at Kenshin for being gone so long without even a single letter to show for the years apart, and happy to have him back at last. Kaoru looked back up at me.
"Is something wrong, Yahiko?" She asked. Again, his eyes turned to me and again my heart froze. I wanted to scream, cry. Of course I'm not ok!! I nodded slowly before taking a step back.
"I'm...I'm just gonna go take a walk." I turned and started off.
"Yahiko!" She cried. I turned, stopping at foot.
"Don't worry about me Kaoru. I wont leave without telling you first. I'm not like some people." I said, turning and running off. I heard Kaoru call after me, obviously upset. What? Was I supposed to be mannerly toward Kenshin, like some odd guest? No. I wouldn't betray my memories of him. We were more than that. I didn't stop until I had arrived at the river side where I had once practiced fighting several people at once by tying wood boards to the limbs of the tree so that they hung before me. I sat, leaning against the tree. My heart was beating furiously. My hands dug into the earth under me. My eyes focused on the passing water. That's when I heard footsteps approaching. I should have known he would follow me after the scene I made. I wasn't sure if I was happy about this or not. At least it gave me a chance to be alone with him. I didn't look over when he stopped beside me.
"It's been a long time, Yahiko, and I know I shouldn't expect you to except me back so easily." Kenshin's voice said. I could tell by the focus in his voice that he to was looking out at the river. I closed my eyes tightly.
"It's not that. It's not that at all." I said.
"Because I left? Left without saying good-bye?" He asked. I should have said that that was exactly why, but it wasn't. Before I knew it I was moving to my feet. This seemed to surprise Kenshin as well. I was standing face to face with him suddenly, so close that I could feel his breath.
"Because you never knew. Because I was to ignorant to see it until you were gone." He looked confused. He obviously wanted to ask me what it was I learned, but he didn't. Waiting for me to just tell him. I let my eyes slip away from his eyes to take in the softness of his lips as his familiar scent overtook my senses. "I've grown Kenshin. I'm not a little boy anymore." I said lowly.
"I can see that, that I can." Kenshin said. "You are a man now, Yahiko, and I'm sorry I wasn't here to see it." I clenched my teeth. He had no idea. He didn't understand that I didn't care that he hadn't been here to see me grow. How many times I dreamt that he would understand and it suddenly occurred to me how much easier it had all been in my dreams. How easy it was to tell him and how there were no strings. How he confessed his own secret desires for me. I felt my hand twitch at my side. Desiring the feel of running through his soft hair.
"Kenshin, have you ever wondered what it would have been like if you had stayed?" I asked suddenly. Kenshin looked a little sad, almost as if he was disappointed.
"Many times." He said, turning away from me and walking closer to the river. He sat down, looking out across the water. I moved, taking a seat very close to him so that our hands touched slightly when I sat. He didn't seem to notice. "I thought I would stay here forever. I was so happy here, with you, Sanosuke, Ms. Megumi, and Ms. Kaoru-"
"Do you love her?" I asked suddenly, cutting him short. He looked at me.
"What?" He asked. I felt a light blush on my cheeks, wishing I wouldn't have to ask.
"Do you love Kaoru, Kenshin?" I asked. Now he blushed. Looking back at the water.
"I used to think I was, that I did." He said in a misty voice.
"Used to, Kenshin?" I asked. He didn't look back at me, just continued following the flow of the water with his eyes.
"That's right. I used to think that I was in love with Ms. Kaoru because I was willing to do anything to protect her. Then, one day, I realized that it was not just Ms. Kaoru. I would have died for any of you, and still would. But...that is not love, is it? That's when I realized that love was more then that. That love was something special that two people share, something they can only feel for one another, and that's how I knew I did not love Ms. Kaoru." He said. It made my body burn, listening to him speak of love. I felt my heart pounding as my chest rose and fell. My face was burning with blush.
"I know what you mean. It's like, my heart beats faster and slower all at the same time." Kenshin looked over. A smile on his face.
"You're in love, Yahiko?" He asked. I tried to hide my deep blush.
"Well...yeah." I said. Looking out at the water now. He wasn't like Sano. If Sano knew I was in love, he would continue to nag me until I told him everything. Kenshin stood.
"I'm going back. I hope you wont mind if I stay for a while." He said. I looked up, shocked.
"No, I didn't mean, Kenshin!" I jumped to my feet. "I don't hate you Kenshin! Never! I'd love you to stay! I wish you'd stay with me forever." I said. When I realized what I had last said, my blush got deeper. Kenshin seemed to like my answer. We walked back to the Dojo in silence. That night we stayed up late drinking saki. I felt myself loosen up. Kaoru was asleep, snoring as she laid across the floor. Kenshin was silent, watching us and yet in thought at the same time. Though I had drunk just as much as Kaoru, I had much more control over my actions. I slowly stood and made my way to Kenshin. He looked up at me in shock. I suppose he hadn't really been watching and was shoved out of his trance by my sudden movement. I looked down at him. He was looking up at me. My eyes narrowed. "We need to talk." I said lowly, almost growling.
"If you say so, Yahiko. What is it you wish to talk about?" He asked. I sneered at his happy demeanor.
"Stand up." I demanded. He looked a little confused, but did as I had asked.
"What is it you-" I cut him short, pressing my lips to his. I let my eyes close, my hands on either side of his chin. He wasn't reacting, but he wasn't pulling away either. For a moment I thought I must be dreaming. Then, after feeling satisfied, I pulled away, letting my hands fall away as well. If I never got to be with Kenshin for the rest of my life, I knew that kiss would have to do. I could only hope that he was to drunk to remember it in the morning. He looked at me. His eyes were wide and his lips were slightly parted.
"It's you Kenshin. You're the one I love. You make my heart beat and my head spin. I didn't realize how much I cared about you until you were gone. Then, all I could do was wait. Wait for the day when you would return and I would tell you how I felt. I've dreamt of this day for the last five years. And now that I have, I will understand if you don't want to stay or if my feelings are not returned. I just needed you to know." I said. It felt good to get it off my chest. He was silent, his eyes studying my face. Perhaps looking for a sign that I was joking, but I supplied him with none. Then, I smiled softly. I turned to pick up Kaoru and carry her back to her bed. I softly slid my arms under her. I stood, holding Kaoru in my arms. I turned back to Kenshin, who was staring at me. "Oh, but Kenshin. If you do decide to leave again, at least tell Kaoru first." I said before I left the room. I laid Kaoru down and covered her. She was sleeping so peacefully. I walked out, sliding the door shut behind me. When I turned to head to my room I let out a slightly audible gasp. Kenshin stood right in front of me. Before I could say anything his hands had reached out for me and as one wrapped around my waist the other took hold of my chin. He leaned forward, looking up from my lips to my eyes. A strange, hungry look was in his eyes. It looked like he wanted to say something, but, instead, he moved in. My eyes closed slowly as his soft lips caressed my own. My hands moved to his long hair, running through the long strands as they had so deeply desired to do before. For a blissful moment we stood there, entertwined with each other. I felt his hand moving up my back. When we broke the kiss I looked at him, breathless. "You...you..." I stuttered. He smiled evily.
"Love is something special that only two people can share." He said. I felt my heart quicken. He moved closer again, running his hand through my hair. "And after seven years of wandering, I realized the one person I loved, was you, Yahiko."
The Person Behind My Mask (The Real Me)
Summary: I'm not done watching the show yet, but just imagine this. Warning, SLASH!!! That means male/male relationship. After seven years of living alone with Kaoru, Yahiko realizes his love for Kenshin and how blind he was to not have seen it till now. Sorry if it's a little dumb, it's my first slash.
It all started seven years ago, when I was only ten years old. I was a thief, working for a local gang to pay off the debt left when my mother died. I never cared for my `job' pick pocketing people. I was soft at heart and usually returned with little money. Not because I wasn't good at picking peoples pockets, but because I usually let the guilt get to me. I usually returned the money just as soon as I had taken it. That was, until I met him. Kenshin Himura, better known as Battousai the Manslayer. Of course, if I had known this ahead of time, I never would have tried picking his pocket. I got the wallet, but was pounded into the ground by Kaoru, Kenshin's female friend. I forcefully returned the wallet but Kenshin gave it to me by free will. Of course, being a boy of honor, I couldn't take it. So, I ran. In the end, I returned with Kaoru and Kenshin to the Kamiya Dojo as Kaoru's apprentice. We were constantly getting into trouble and meeting new people. Like Sanosuke Sagara, better known as Zanza the fighter for hire, and Megumi Takani, a doctor who was forced to make Opium. Those days were full of laughter, no matter what happened we were a team, Kenshin, Kaoru, Sanosuke, and myself. Best friends close enough to be family. Then, one day, Kenshin left us. Of course, we couldn't accept this and followed him all the way to Kyoto. In the end, we met back up and after to long, we went our separate ways. I returned with Kaoru to the Kamiya Dojo. Now, so many years later, I realize something I didn't back in those days. It was more than stubborn pride and idolization that drove me to follow Kenshin all those years ago. It was not only loyalty to Kenshin, but to myself. To my heart. Now, I know what I didn't back then, and that is that I am in love with Kenshin Himura. I dream about him every night. Hoping and wishing he'd return. I fantasize about the day he returns. I imagine what he'd think when he saw the handsome man I have become. Not like the annoying brat I used to be, but a grown man. I run the things I would say to him through my head. About all the things I've done. How I mastered the art of the Kamiya Kasshin Style and many others. I dream about telling him who I am and what I feel. I imagine that he feels the same, embracing me. So, when I wake up, my dream state fades away and reality sets in, like it does every morning. I stand, stretching. I sighed, putting on my clothes and sliding open the door. I smelt the delicious aroma of food wafting in from the kitchen. Kaoru had gotten much better at cooking during these many years. So, I slowly made my way to the dining room. I slid the door open and my heart stopped. Kaoru stopped mid-sentence, looking up at me. As did the person she was talking to. With long red hair pulled back into a ponytail on the back of his head and a cross shaped scare on his left cheek. His blue eyes met mine, shining happily.
"Yahiko" He said happily. My heart was pounding widely and I wondered weather or not if I should pinch my cheek, just to make sure it was real. Kaoru was smiling, looking as flustered as I felt.
"Look Yahiko, Kenshin just showed up this morning out of nowhere." Kaoru said. Kenshin turned his attention back to Kaoru.
"I'm sorry to be a bother Ms. Kaoru." He said, his usual smile on his face. I didn't know how to react. He was back. After all these years he had returned, like all of my dreams had said he would. But suddenly, everything I had planned to say, every action I planned to make, they all faltered as my eyes burned into him. Sitting, laughing, as if he had only just been out to get some tofu. I wasn't sure why, but my feelings were going crazy. I was jealous of Kaoru for being the first to see him, angry at Kenshin for being gone so long without even a single letter to show for the years apart, and happy to have him back at last. Kaoru looked back up at me.
"Is something wrong, Yahiko?" She asked. Again, his eyes turned to me and again my heart froze. I wanted to scream, cry. Of course I'm not ok!! I nodded slowly before taking a step back.
"I'm...I'm just gonna go take a walk." I turned and started off.
"Yahiko!" She cried. I turned, stopping at foot.
"Don't worry about me Kaoru. I wont leave without telling you first. I'm not like some people." I said, turning and running off. I heard Kaoru call after me, obviously upset. What? Was I supposed to be mannerly toward Kenshin, like some odd guest? No. I wouldn't betray my memories of him. We were more than that. I didn't stop until I had arrived at the river side where I had once practiced fighting several people at once by tying wood boards to the limbs of the tree so that they hung before me. I sat, leaning against the tree. My heart was beating furiously. My hands dug into the earth under me. My eyes focused on the passing water. That's when I heard footsteps approaching. I should have known he would follow me after the scene I made. I wasn't sure if I was happy about this or not. At least it gave me a chance to be alone with him. I didn't look over when he stopped beside me.
"It's been a long time, Yahiko, and I know I shouldn't expect you to except me back so easily." Kenshin's voice said. I could tell by the focus in his voice that he to was looking out at the river. I closed my eyes tightly.
"It's not that. It's not that at all." I said.
"Because I left? Left without saying good-bye?" He asked. I should have said that that was exactly why, but it wasn't. Before I knew it I was moving to my feet. This seemed to surprise Kenshin as well. I was standing face to face with him suddenly, so close that I could feel his breath.
"Because you never knew. Because I was to ignorant to see it until you were gone." He looked confused. He obviously wanted to ask me what it was I learned, but he didn't. Waiting for me to just tell him. I let my eyes slip away from his eyes to take in the softness of his lips as his familiar scent overtook my senses. "I've grown Kenshin. I'm not a little boy anymore." I said lowly.
"I can see that, that I can." Kenshin said. "You are a man now, Yahiko, and I'm sorry I wasn't here to see it." I clenched my teeth. He had no idea. He didn't understand that I didn't care that he hadn't been here to see me grow. How many times I dreamt that he would understand and it suddenly occurred to me how much easier it had all been in my dreams. How easy it was to tell him and how there were no strings. How he confessed his own secret desires for me. I felt my hand twitch at my side. Desiring the feel of running through his soft hair.
"Kenshin, have you ever wondered what it would have been like if you had stayed?" I asked suddenly. Kenshin looked a little sad, almost as if he was disappointed.
"Many times." He said, turning away from me and walking closer to the river. He sat down, looking out across the water. I moved, taking a seat very close to him so that our hands touched slightly when I sat. He didn't seem to notice. "I thought I would stay here forever. I was so happy here, with you, Sanosuke, Ms. Megumi, and Ms. Kaoru-"
"Do you love her?" I asked suddenly, cutting him short. He looked at me.
"What?" He asked. I felt a light blush on my cheeks, wishing I wouldn't have to ask.
"Do you love Kaoru, Kenshin?" I asked. Now he blushed. Looking back at the water.
"I used to think I was, that I did." He said in a misty voice.
"Used to, Kenshin?" I asked. He didn't look back at me, just continued following the flow of the water with his eyes.
"That's right. I used to think that I was in love with Ms. Kaoru because I was willing to do anything to protect her. Then, one day, I realized that it was not just Ms. Kaoru. I would have died for any of you, and still would. But...that is not love, is it? That's when I realized that love was more then that. That love was something special that two people share, something they can only feel for one another, and that's how I knew I did not love Ms. Kaoru." He said. It made my body burn, listening to him speak of love. I felt my heart pounding as my chest rose and fell. My face was burning with blush.
"I know what you mean. It's like, my heart beats faster and slower all at the same time." Kenshin looked over. A smile on his face.
"You're in love, Yahiko?" He asked. I tried to hide my deep blush.
"Well...yeah." I said. Looking out at the water now. He wasn't like Sano. If Sano knew I was in love, he would continue to nag me until I told him everything. Kenshin stood.
"I'm going back. I hope you wont mind if I stay for a while." He said. I looked up, shocked.
"No, I didn't mean, Kenshin!" I jumped to my feet. "I don't hate you Kenshin! Never! I'd love you to stay! I wish you'd stay with me forever." I said. When I realized what I had last said, my blush got deeper. Kenshin seemed to like my answer. We walked back to the Dojo in silence. That night we stayed up late drinking saki. I felt myself loosen up. Kaoru was asleep, snoring as she laid across the floor. Kenshin was silent, watching us and yet in thought at the same time. Though I had drunk just as much as Kaoru, I had much more control over my actions. I slowly stood and made my way to Kenshin. He looked up at me in shock. I suppose he hadn't really been watching and was shoved out of his trance by my sudden movement. I looked down at him. He was looking up at me. My eyes narrowed. "We need to talk." I said lowly, almost growling.
"If you say so, Yahiko. What is it you wish to talk about?" He asked. I sneered at his happy demeanor.
"Stand up." I demanded. He looked a little confused, but did as I had asked.
"What is it you-" I cut him short, pressing my lips to his. I let my eyes close, my hands on either side of his chin. He wasn't reacting, but he wasn't pulling away either. For a moment I thought I must be dreaming. Then, after feeling satisfied, I pulled away, letting my hands fall away as well. If I never got to be with Kenshin for the rest of my life, I knew that kiss would have to do. I could only hope that he was to drunk to remember it in the morning. He looked at me. His eyes were wide and his lips were slightly parted.
"It's you Kenshin. You're the one I love. You make my heart beat and my head spin. I didn't realize how much I cared about you until you were gone. Then, all I could do was wait. Wait for the day when you would return and I would tell you how I felt. I've dreamt of this day for the last five years. And now that I have, I will understand if you don't want to stay or if my feelings are not returned. I just needed you to know." I said. It felt good to get it off my chest. He was silent, his eyes studying my face. Perhaps looking for a sign that I was joking, but I supplied him with none. Then, I smiled softly. I turned to pick up Kaoru and carry her back to her bed. I softly slid my arms under her. I stood, holding Kaoru in my arms. I turned back to Kenshin, who was staring at me. "Oh, but Kenshin. If you do decide to leave again, at least tell Kaoru first." I said before I left the room. I laid Kaoru down and covered her. She was sleeping so peacefully. I walked out, sliding the door shut behind me. When I turned to head to my room I let out a slightly audible gasp. Kenshin stood right in front of me. Before I could say anything his hands had reached out for me and as one wrapped around my waist the other took hold of my chin. He leaned forward, looking up from my lips to my eyes. A strange, hungry look was in his eyes. It looked like he wanted to say something, but, instead, he moved in. My eyes closed slowly as his soft lips caressed my own. My hands moved to his long hair, running through the long strands as they had so deeply desired to do before. For a blissful moment we stood there, entertwined with each other. I felt his hand moving up my back. When we broke the kiss I looked at him, breathless. "You...you..." I stuttered. He smiled evily.
"Love is something special that only two people can share." He said. I felt my heart quicken. He moved closer again, running his hand through my hair. "And after seven years of wandering, I realized the one person I loved, was you, Yahiko."