Title: My Graveyard
Author: Ashes to Majik (Ashe)
Fandom: TRC
Prompt: Coping LJ challengethe
Rating/Warnings: PG-13 (not bad, just some allusions to things like suicide and child murder). Potential spoilers post C 120
Summary: "I won't let you fall apart, no never again".

Written to: "Coming Out Strong" by Ana Johnsson, "What If" by Ana Johnsson, "Through Glass" by Stone Sour

Story:

It's strange how everything changed
Through your eyes look others we're feeling
You've tried
You can't see the world the same
It's cold falling down
Like a shadow on the ground

Follow me and I'll take you somewhere lighter
Than you've been
Come with me I won't let you fall apart
No never again
And it's been so long
Just barely holding on
We're coming out strong

It took forever for the king to fall. Not the battle so much as the actual motion of death and finality. From death stroke to corpse, sprawled on the marble floors. Fye watched with sick fascination as the blood formed a halo the king could not have worn in life, framing his head and matting the dark hair that he'd taken such pride in, in life. Fye didn't see anything but that corpse, staring into Ashura's lifeless eyes like he was lost.

And maybe he was lost. He felt himself crumbling. He felt his stomach clench painfully and a shining spectrum of emotion that he was suddenly in possession of and very unsure of how to deal with any of it. Distantly he was aware of a hand coming down, hard, on his shoulder. The jolt broke eye contact and he realized he was crying. How long had he been crying? And why? Ashura did not deserve his tears, just as Fye deserved no one's tears.

"It's time to go." Kurogane. His voice was like a lifeline, and should Fye choose to follow it, he suspected that fulfillment waited for him. He shied from it like a child from a hot stove. He made a half-hearted attempt to pull away but Kurogane wouldn't have it.

"I have to-" he began, trying to come up with anything to be left here. Anything to be allowed to die in this dead country. Death was his only path, the only option he had left. He felt his eyes water again. He hadn't had his wish. He hadn't found anyone to love him before he died. Then again, who could love someone like him? Childish though the statement may be, he had more justification for that feeling than most. Murderer. Killer of children. Coward.

Ironic that the last bit was the most crippling.

"Don't start." Kurogane growled close to his right ear. Fye's breathing caught in his throat and a strong hand clamped down on his forearm. "You're coming with us." Kurogane turned to lead him off, but Fye wouldn't be led like a disobedient puppy. He was tired of being discredited, of being treated like a child. He. Was. No. Child.

He yanked his arm away and Kurogane turned to face him. The anger in his scarlet eyes was heavy, but Fye was such a mess that he didn't care that Kurogane was angry now. Fye faced him, his blue eye flashing and his face tear streaked. He had to look a mess.

"Stop." he snapped. Kurogane narrowed his eyes.

"I'm not leaving you here to die!" Kurogane raged. "This country is dead, there's nothing left for you here."

"It's dead because I killed it! It's dead because of ME! This graveyard is also mine." Fye took an apprehensive step back and his legs threatened to give out on him. He couldn't falter, not now. For the first time he would stand up for his right to die. The right that Kurogane insisted to take from him.

"No, it's not." Kurogane took a step, and then another, stalking Fye until the wizard had finally sunk to the group, to his knees. Kurogane knelt and grabbed both sides of the man's face, making sure he had the man's attention before he spoke. "You did what had to be done. No one blames you." It might not be the truth, but the words lanced the building tension and pain and Fye crumbled. He buried his face in Kurogane's coat, clinging to the man's clothes as strong arms wrapped around him. Fye cried for himself, for his past, and for the truth that he still couldn't face.

Kurogane hadn't flinched away, though. He was here, and it didn't look like he was going to give up on Fye that easily.

"Come on." the ninja murmured into Fye's hair. "We have to go. The princess needs us."

The princess. Sakura. A stab of guilt, but it was almost like Kurogane expected that. His hand raised to cup the back of Fye's head before he stood and helped Fye to stand beside him. "One step at a time." Kurogane said.

One step at a time. He could do that.