The sunlight came in through the slits in the blinds and woke me earlier than usual. I lay in bed looking at the rotating fan that blew cool air into my face, hoping that I could rewind everything, starting from my first year of high school. My alarm blasted out the song I had selected from my iPod the night before and instantly I did something that many people would find strange- I smiled. With the smile came my voice. "Boy you got my heartbeat runnin' away Beating like a drum and it's coming your way Can't you hear that boom, badoom, boom, badoom, bass He got that super bass Boom, badoom, boom, badoom, bass Yeah that's that super bass! Boom, badoom, boom, badoom, bass he got that super bass
Boom, badoom, boom, badoom, bass yeah that's that super bass!" I skipped out of bed almost forgetting why I had felt so morbid in the first place. As I remembered I stopped and looked in my vanity mirror. There she was- Quinn Fabray- in the flesh, beautiful on the outside, not so beautiful on the inside. I tugged at the strands that were not as short as they were after my tremendous haircut that now reached my shoulders. Where had my summer gone? I had spent it all at my grandma's, far away from Lima. She lived in San Diego, but away from the hussle and bussle of the main city area. Her house was pretty much the perfect getaway that I needed, it was a ranch that was right on the beach, almost heaven for me. The other great thing is that my grandmother posed no judgment to who I was. After my parents found out about my pregnancy I pretty much never spoke to my father again because he was so ashamed and although my mother accepted me back into her life, I've never really felt like her daughter. But my grandma on the other hand, she would call me or vice versa each night during my pregnancy and every night after, making sure I was ok, asking if I needed anything or just to chat. I looked forward to those calls even if I was busy on homework or studying. At her house during the summer, we rode horses along the shore, chatted for hours on end and escaped from the unforgiving world.
When I talked about rewinding, I just want to go back, and be a better person. As simple as that, no ifs ands or buts about it. All I had ever wanted was to be loved, but I was feared. The only way to be loved for me was to be popular, better than the next girl. Faster, prettier, stronger, and better and better. It turned into an obsession, to be popular of course. But today was the first day of senior year, the best time to start over. To be the new and nicer Quinn Fabray. Today is the day when the best years begin. Breathe in and out….here we go.
I walked through the doors of McKinley with my hair is soft curls and a light grey dress with buttons on top. My feet had black cork wedges that matched my outfit nicely. No cheerios uniform and no ponytail. This was me, all me. I smiled at the people I passed that parted like I was Moses or something, ugh not this again! I went to good ol' locker number 129; the combination is something that I could never forget. I whispered to myself, reciting the comb as I twisted the dial. "10, 35, 19". When the locker opened, peeling pictures of the 2010 McKinley Cheerios looked me in the face. There was me, smiling that fake smile and hugging Santana like I was it, the best thing in the world. The people behind us were green with envy as the most popular girls in school were having the time of their lives at some big party. I closed my eyes to cleanse my negative thoughts and took all of my old pictures out of the locker and deposited them in the waste basket. I had a clean slate. Ready for anything.