Okay so for all you wonderful people who read The Story of Us, this is the companion piece… I decided after long hard debates with other writers, to make this a new fic as I didn't want to confuse anyone with the shift from Perspective to narrative.. I do still hope you all enjoy regardless of the switch.
She watched the way the words fell from her mouth, a tangle of plausibility weaved intricately in a truth she wished for daily since their parting. She watched the way her soft lips parted and tongue danced as she spoke words that could be written on parchment and hidden in the deepest of dark coves for archaeologists to uncover when searching for ultimate verity. But she could allow herself to fall, couldn't step into the same patterns as before, she was different, everything had altered, the moment she heard the words 'already over' she knew the game had been changed indefinitely.
She tried not to let those traps of ocean blue drift into her life with the easiness the blonde knew she held over the Latina, because the moment she gave in she knew she would surrender herself and drown in endless questions without answers. She would pack them all neatly back in their boxes and convince herself that the hurt she had felt for the past two months had been a simple pang of what happens when you miss someone, not of what happens when someone breaks you.
She swayed on the spot, feeling the uncontrollable pull towards Arizona, her hands twitching at her sides, aching to hold hers, to lace their fingers like she had the countless nights she had held them above their heads, their lips whispering declarations of love that flew into the night like their love had the night she left. Her heart danced to a melancholy tune, finding moments of light reprieve in the hope she found in the blondes eyes, but reverting back to the sad shuffle as the light flickered and disappeared into the air like those promises of forever they'd once told.
'If I was enough, why did you leave…'she stated rather than asked, not really needing an answer because her mind had been made up the many nights she had lay alone, hands resting underneath her face as her shoulder shook violently under her duvet. Her muffled whispers and pleas drifting into the night sky and as she prayed that wherever she was she was safe, and she was happy like she truly deserved to be. She had blamed herself for not being good enough, she knew people who shone the way Arizona did, needed to find their way in the world, it wasn't fair for her to bottle her up and keep her for herself, Callie was not a selfish person, she was often her own biggest fan, but for Arizona she only ever wished the best.
She lifted her gaze to the ocean eyes of the smaller woman standing in her hallway, watching as she waited, a mixture of knowing and near acceptance laced with a hope that Callie wondered if she could dash without feeling any worse. She had thought about this moment, thought about their reunion, how her hands would slid into her small but perfectly formed hold in Arizonas hands, their lips meeting between whispers of longing and never agains'. Callie was a romanticist, and given half the chance would have given Arizona the 'ever after' she deserved, but as she stood before her, heart slowing to an almost standstill she felt saddened to know their story was starting to look more like a tragedy.
She took a deep breath, needing to break the silence between them, knowing that if she allowed it to continue the screaming of her heart would betray her and there would be no coming back from that 'You once told me you don't trust me, and you asked me to show you how you were different to the others, I tried' she shook her head, sucking her bottom lip into her mouth as she watched the blondes head duck, her gaze falling to the floor '… I did everything I could to show you that you were different. I gave up my security, my home and my friends to be with you… I did it all because I loved you… I loved you so much and you turned your back on me. You never even said goodbye,' she lifted her head, her breath catching in her throat as she managed to choke out the last couple of words '… you never called, you never wrote, and you come back and expect everything to be okay between us again, it's not okay Arizona, we are not okay' she shook her head, her raven curls bouncing in a dejected melancholy at the side of her face, falling over her eyes which were now filling with tears she thought she had long since shed.
'Callie I…' Arizona began, taking a step towards the Latina and feeling a pang in her stomach as Callie took a step back and held up her hand between them, not allowing a closeness she knew she wouldn't be able to have control over.
'No. you had your say, how can I expect to believe anything that you say anymore, how do I know that if I let you back into my life you aren't just going to leave me again. I mean it's as simple as another grant offer right… that's what this all comes down to, you get a better offer and you go again, and I'm left here picking up the pieces of a life you promised we'd build together' her voice breaking she looked to the ceiling, taking a staggered breath as she gripped her hands in tight fists at her side, praying through her glossy eyes and guilt filled mind that she would find the strength to do this.
Arizona reached out tentatively, her fingers unfurling as she inched closer to the Latinas arm desperate to feel the reality of her beneath her touch. Making the lightest contact she watched as the taller womans shoulders fell, and their eyes connected briefly 'I never meant…' she started, her voice laced with a sincerity Callie had once believed in, only now she had reason to doubt those sweet tones that had sworn their love for her, now every word she heard fall from the sweetest of lips would carry a second thought, a confusion, a betrayal.
She moved away from the blondes touch, biting down on her bottom lip and starting again, her voice finding a strength she had wished she had found sooner, her body shifting into a stance that Arizona knew meant business 'Don't …just please, don't tell me you never meant for this to happen, or that you want things to go back to the way they were, because they can't Arizona. I'm not the same person you left behind, I tried to be, I tried to pretend and to believe, that one day I'd open the door and you would be here… but I never imagined that when I actually saw you again that I'd feel like this…'
'Like what' a hint of regret laced the question that feel from the quivering lips of the blonde, she had spent the past few months knowing there was possibility that things would not turn out in her favour, that there was a possibility that the split second decision to leave without the Latina would result in an end to a new beginning before the pen had a chance to hit the pages.
Callie looked down at her feet, searching for an answer that Arizona could see already sitting her gaze, drowning in the muddy orbs that once held a shine she had thrown away like the last cup of coffee that had served as a good morning she knew she may never back. Grabbing the lapels of her coat and pulling it around her frame in an action Arizona knew was more to keep her out, than the cold, Callie shook her head once more before sighing and admitting five words that had the power to break any human.
'Empty….I feel completely empty'