The First Snowflake

by MoonAngel010

Serena has so much going for her college her friends and family and Darien. Until one night of unprotected love leads to a secret that grows for months in Serena. When the secret is revealed will Darien leave his own life to support Serena's? RR

The streets of Tokyo bustled with honking horns, and people yelling across the street, and the sidewalks crowded with people that were doing last minute Christmas shopping. Steam came from sewer holes in the middle of the street, and crying children begged their parents to go home or go back to the toy stores. It was Christmas Eve and almost impossible to find an empty store, sidewalk or street. The streets over flowed with Taxies and buses and cars for people who tried as quickly as possible to get home on the fading hours of the afternoon.

"Why do you think people get so worked up today of all days, why don't they get this excited for Easter, or Thanksgiving?" Lita began observing the crowd from the Arcade window booth, taking a sip of her hot chocolate. She burrowed her eyebrows showing she was upset. Mina shrugged her shoulder and sipped her espresso. Lita hated the idea that every one was so excited and happy this time of year, and only because of the presents, despite some people, she hated when people were greedy, that was Lita for you. "Well, its Christmas Eve, Lita. Don't you think that people would be doing their last minute shopping? Kids aren't happy unless they have toys." Rae explained rubbing her shoulders to keep warm. Every year they went through the same thing, and it was getting pretty old.

Serena returned from getting her hot coco and slid into the booth. "Have you guys seen Darien?" The blonde asked glaring into her coffee cup. The girl's shook there head and muttered a no. "He's really depressed about not getting a response from Harvard, he's beating himself up over it."

"Why does he want to go so bad?" Mina asked.

"It's been his dream since his eighth grade year in school, he wants to be a doctor. So why wouldn't he want to go so bad?" Serena answered. There entire 4 years of dating, all Darien wanted was to be a doctor, he said when Serena and him got married he could support her and whatever needed to be supported, he wanted to be good enough for her. Serena tried to tell him that his love was all she needed but he was never convinced enough.

"So where is he now?" Asked Rae with a worried look upon her face.

"I don't know, I think he's at his apartment."

"Well go over and comfort him Serena!" Amy said in disbelief, "What kind of girlfriend are you?"

They looked at the blue haired girl cautiously, but didn't add to what she had said.

"You're right, you guys want to come?" Serena muttered taking one more slurp of her hot chocolate.

"Serena, he's your boyfriend, and it's your love life." Serena smiled and as quickly as possible ran to Darien's.

****

Darien yawned wearily and walked to his kitchen, his bare feet dragging against the floor. He rubbed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair to get it away from his face. He reached the fridge and yawned loudly, shifting his toes from the cold floor. He opened the door and shivered as the chilled air met his bare chest. He pulled out the milk carton and drank straight from it.

Thoughts of everything he worried about lingered his mind, he was scared that he might not be accepted into Harvard, that all his years of straight A's and extracurricular activities weren't enough to get in such a good school. No matter how much he worked to get a good grade, no matter how many recommendations he had, Harvard was to good of a school to accept him. He told Serena, but she never seemed to understand, he wanted to be good enough for her, and he told himself that's why wanted to go, but really he knew he wanted to go because he wanted to prove to himself that he could do it. But then another fear struck his mind, what if he WAS accepted, and his long distant relationship wouldn't last? What if his love for her wasn't strong enough, what if---

"Darien?" A shrilled voice entered the room. Darien smiled and put the carton back. He walked lazily to the door covering his bare chest. It was freezing in the apartment and he wished he had put on a shirt, since the long pants didn't help. "Hi Darien!" Serena smiled, jumping into his arms, she put her arms around him and buried his neck with kisses. "Hey Serena." He laughed hugging her tightly. Serena looked at him and kissed his lips sweetly, they glared at each other until Serena frowned at him and she sighed. "Where have you been this week Darien? You weren't here and every time I went to see you after school you had already left." Darien let her go and laid down on the couch, he put his hands behind his head and returned the sigh. Serena always had to know everything, and even though he enjoyed the attention his girlfriend gave him, he was starting to feel himself losing the space he needed. Sure she was worried and it was partly his fault, but the truth was he wanted to do secret things by himself, with out his girlfriend around all the time.

He went rock climbing, and he joined yoga, but he didn't want to tell Serena because she would immediately want to join. "Serena we need to talk." He muttered sitting himself up again. Serena pulled off her coat, revealing the blue sweater he gave her. "You're wearing my sweater." He smiled as she sat beside him. The blonde giggled and leaned against his chest. "Of course I am, I love this sweater. what is it you wanted to talk to me about?" Darien thought of a sweet, and unselfish way to tell her, and finally he just said it. He put his arms around her and they both lay down on the couch keeping the warmth between them. "Listen, you know I love you Serena, but its just. you're kind of invading my personal space." Serena looked at him curiously.

"Wait. what are you saying?" She replied sitting up slightly. Darien immediately told himself on how it sounded, and immediately he tried to fix it, he didn't want break up with her, he just needed her to stop being around him every second of the day. He sat up with her and stroked her cheek.

"No Serena, you got it all wrong. I don't want to break up with you, its just when you don't see me for a day or so I don't want you to freak out or anything, I need some alone time too you know."

Serena looked at him, with fearful eyes and instantly Darien recognized the mistake he had made. Without a word she got up and headed to her coat.

"You need some alone time? I'll give you some alone time, just don't expect me to come back." Tears trickled from her eyes as he tried to explain. "Serena, will you listen!" The blonde threw open the door and started to run down the hall, Darien behind her. "SERENA! WAIT!" He heaved for breath when he saw her escape through the elevator doors. Shit! He thought, slamming his fists on the elevator doors. "Why did you tell her that Darien?" His conscience screamed at him. He cursed at himself as he sped down the stairs. No matter how much he wanted to stop running down the 8 flight of stairs he told himself he was letting the most important person leave and all because she worried about him a little bit. His mind ran wild as he read the sign that said Main Floor and went through it. He glanced frantically in the pool room his apartment building had, and his vision caught on to strands of golden hair disappear in front of the sliding entrance doors. He ignored the glares he got and continued outside. As the doors opened, he shivered uncontrollably at the below zero temperature. He jumped from foot to foot trying to avoid the freezing sidewalk under his bare feet. "SERENA!" He called rubbing his shoulders, and jumping anxiously. He looked side to side and all he saw were parents with their kids, and couples, and even friends hanging out. He slapped himself mentally and entered inside again. As tried his hardest to think of what to do, and suddenly the thoughts of Harvard and his long distant relationship faded, if he didn't apologize, there wouldn't be a long distant relationship, and no one would support his Harvard choice.

His freezing body ceased from shivering and he pushed the elevator door button. As soon as it opened, he felt a finger poke at him. He turned to see who it was, and saw Bill Perkins, the neighborhood mailman. Every one knew Bill; he had been working at the post office for 38 years, at age 68 and still in great shape, despite his snow-white hair and mustache. Every one admired him for working on such a low pay job with dangerous hazards, like dogs or pepper spray. But Bill had said he liked the job because of the people. Darien smiled weakly and let the door to the elevator shut again.

"Hello there, Mr. Shields." The old man rasped. "Horrible, I probably just got dumped." Darien replied sadly, glaring at his nails and picking at them self-consciously, trying to keep his dignity. He could feel the sympathy glare upon him and wished it would go away; he didn't want to feel worse than he already did. "That's to bad Darien, you really love her." He started, Darien looked up as Bill started again in a cheerier voice. " But I got something to make you feel better." He mocked rummaging through his mailbag. Darien watched curiously as he watched the man pull out a letter. "What is it?" Darien asked, his heart began to pace and his palms began to sweat, his stomach turned in tenseness and anxiety. Maybe it was the letter, the letter he had waited for, for 7 years. The small mailman passed Darien the letter and winked. "It'll all work out my boy, just wait and see."

Darien watched Bill turn around the corner to all the mailboxes. He thought for a moment, and knew this could be the moment that would make him, or break him. He didn't want to look down at the thin, and long envelope, but he had too. He took a swallow and a sigh, and read the sender's address. Harvard University is what it read in calligraphic writing. He ran his finger over the paper and wished desperately Serena would be there to comfort him, or celebrate, whatever the outcome would be.

He stared at the envelope for what seemed like an eternity, as he made his way to his apartment. He opened the door and plopped himself on the couch. He took a deep breath muttering under his breath, "Here goes." And tore it open instantly. He unfolded the perfect paper and started to read:

To: Darien Shields

Address: 7656 Juuban Estates Apt. 57A, Tokyo, Japan 55702

To Whom It May Concern,

As one of the best schools in the nation, with the best education programs and making the best impact on our student's lives, we have thoroughly checked over your application and recommendations. Only a few people each year have the potential we need to add to the diversity we sustain at Harvard University. Checking over and over the applications we received in the mail we have concluded our selection of people, and we are sincerely pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to our school. We look forward to seeing you the first of January, this upcoming year. If you decide to attend Harvard next year, which we urge you do, and if you decided to live on-life campus, which has, been summarized as new and exciting, you must send in your first check for rent December 21st, which is $750.00, to the address on the envelope. We hope you decide to attend Harvard and experience a new journey in life.

Sincerely, Jillian Harrison Jillian Harrison Darien glared at the paper in awe. He didn't know what to say, he didn't know what to do, and he didn't know whom to call. He jumped from the couch and ran to his room, throwing on clothes.

******************

Serena sat in her booth, glaring into her coffee cup. Why would he say that? Was all she kept thinking, most men would love the attention, but Darien needed space. She just loved him so much. but maybe she was getting a little carried away it was almost like they were a married couple, but not a happy couple, an angry couple. She sighed deeply. She looked around and saw she was the only person there except for the new Arcade worker, Dan. Andrew had left 5 months ago, when Serena graduated from high school. Rita came back from her expedition in Africa, but as soon as she had come back she was assigned a new job in Russia, looking for a lost mammoth under the snow. Andrew couldn't handle being apart from her another year. He had told every one how much he wanted to spend every waking moment with her. Right before she had to leave, which was a month later since her arrival she announced for the first time to Andrew and all of us that she was pregnant with Andrew's baby. Eventually he proposed and they left off to Russia together.

The new worker was inexperienced dropping cups and plates, and forgetting orders, but he was working on it, even though he was no Andrew. Serena leaned against the windowsill and heard the arcade doors slide open. Darien ran in and sat across from Serena. In shock, all she could do was look at him angrily.

"Serena come with me, come to my apartment for a second." He said. Serena looked into his blue eyes as he held her hand, pleading her with his look and with his words. She wanted to, but she was still angry. Serena pulled out of his grip and crossed her arms ignoring him taking another drink from her cup.

"Serena please, I know your mad, I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me, just please come. I love you so much and you're the only person I care about, so please come with me, for a second." Serena looked at him and hesitated. She stood from her seat and as she was walking away she said, "It better be good."

*******

Darien led Serena to his living room. "What is this about Darien!" she ordered. He took her to the kitchen without a word. Serena smiled in awe and happiness as she saw the flaming candles over a satin tablecloth, and two plates on the table. Darien dimmed the lights and took Serena's coat. Watching her movement, and her every reaction.

He came back and took her hand. "Serena, I love you with all my heart, I'm totally sorry. I did not mean to hurt you, but we need to be honest with each other sweetie. Its how a relationship works out. But I never wanted to hurt you."

Through his eyes he spoke with complete passion, with his touch he screamed his emotions, and with his searing kiss he proved his utter love. It was complete love. Serena hugged him and muttered against his lips. "You're the world to me Darien." She closed her eyes and could almost see them married, together forever. Darien looked at her and smiled. "I was accepted." He smiled. "What?" She looked at him, trying to pretend she didn't know what he was talking about. Just when he was so perfect, so gentle, he had said basically, he had to leave to go to some stupid school, for a year or so. She was being greedy but so was he. "I was accepted to Harvard University!" He smiled, lifting her high in the air and feathering kisses down her cheek to her neck. Serena looked at Darien in astonishment. She never thought the day would come where he would be accepted. I mean yes, he was a wonderful student and it wasn't all that hard to believe that he was going to be accepted, it was the fact of him leaving. Darien set her down and kissed her lips. Serena stood there transfixed on what the future may be like.

Her silence proved her feelings, there was no thanks, no congratulations, and no hugs of relief, just complete silence. Darien's smile ceased and he glared at her closely. "You don't want me to go.do you?" Serena snapped back into reality.

"NO! That's not it.it's just." She paused and thought of what to say. When they were younger they promised never to hurt each other, or leave each other lonely, but he was breaking it, he was breaking the pact. for a school. She just didn't get it. "Darien. are you sure though?" She tried to make it a bad idea, but knew she wouldn't succeed when she continued to remember all the times he spoke of Harvard and being a doctor.

The thought of him gone somewhere for a year, not being able to visit because all his studies. in America, brought tears to her eyes. She watched Darien's stunned face and wondered what he was thinking of her.

Serena sighed and apologized sincerely. "I'm sorry." She sobbed, when she realized how she must've looked.

Her body racked in constant sobs, when all she wanted was for him to stay. "I just love you so much, I can't live without you for over a year." Serena hiccupped and apologized again. Darien looked at her. Seeing her like that was horrible, he felt his eyes turn glassy and a pain in his body. He loved her she loved him. It was perfect, they were good together, and why would he want to throw it away for Harvard. He proved to himself he could do it, just by getting accepted, wasn't it enough. But it was just she loved him so much and the way she acted was unbelievably heartbreaking. Darien knelt beside her and threw his arms around her. "Please sweetie, don't cry." He hugged her and let her sob into his arms. She was breathtakingly beautiful. Her body shook with every wail that escaped her, eventually she stopped crying and looked up to Darien, her teary blue eyes met with his. He held her closely and watched her intently. Serena looked into his eyes and saw the hurt they held. She couldn't believe she had acted like that. She was his girlfriend; she was supposed to support him. Her vision blurred, she felt a gentle brush wipe away her salty tears. He was so perfect.

It's all right, he comforted. Serena nodded but said nothing, because she knew if she spoke, only wails would come out. He let her loose and Serena watched as he returned with water. Serena drank it slowly, thinking. She looked into the cup seeing her reflection, alone. She couldn't picture herself without Darien. She dropped the cup and jumped into his outstretched arms, it was almost as if he had expected it. She blurted it all out in sobs, her emotions, everything.

"I love you so much Darien, you're my world, everything. I want to give myself to you and I want to know you're ok. I'm sorry.I want you to be happy it's just. everything is because of you, my love my happiness, my joy." She was interrupted by Darien's calm voice. He rested his hands on her hips and pulled her to the length of his body. He looked down at his princess and merely said. " Ok." Serena's tears flowed slower, and she gaped at him. "What?" "Ok." He repeated in the same, calm tone. Serena looked into his eyes for a small joke, or sarcasm but found nothing but truth and love. Self- consciously she held him tighter. "Serena, I'm happy if you're happy. and if giving up Harvard makes you happy then I'm ok with it, really it is."

Serena couldn't believe it, here she was being incredibly greedy and their Darien was, giving his lifetime dream for her petty excuse. She hated herself for it, but loved him even more. Serena put her arm around him and felt the electricity in her body spark. She didn't speak because she had nothing to say, she just wanted to hold Darien, knowing he was there.

Darien glared down at her closely, watching her silent emotions, and tears. He wanted to go to Harvard so bad, but he wanted his Serena too. He held her thinking of the opportunity he gave up, but he knew his lifetime of achievements weren't for anything, and he was going to go, he just needed to find away to go without hurting Serena. He held her closely, until she calmed down.

*******

"Hey Dan, what's new?" Darien muttered pulling off his jacket into the empty arcade. Dan threw his washcloth where he had finished washing and began pouring Darien the usual cup of coffee.

"So I heard about Harvard." Dan smirked passing Darien the cup. He sat in a stool across from the bar table and looked away from Dan.

"From who?" He said quietly, taking a drink. "From Bill, the Mail man."

"Oh yea? What did he say?" Darien replied not so surprised, Bill was one to spread good news, if you would call this good news.

"Not much, he said he gave you a Harvard letter and wouldn't be to surprised if you ended up being Tokyo's best doctor." Darien scoffed, but didn't reply.

"You're going right?" Dan added taking a seat beside his friend.

"I wish." He replied.

Dan was shocked, all the past year he knew Darien, and they talked about his plans on Harvard.

"What do you mean? 'You wish'?"

"Serena wants me to stay so badly, I'm suppose to reply Christmas, or something like that for on life campus, and leave by January 1st, and when I told Serena she freaked out and cried me a river."

"You love her that much that you would give up your life dream?" Dan asked, he never really like Serena, and sometimes tried to convince Darien to look at other girls, but he never could.

Darien looked up angrily and said, "Yes, I love her that much."

Dan sighed.

"But you want to go right?"

"SO BADLY!" Darien remarked loudly.

"But Serena's in the way of that?"

"Serena's the love of my life Dan, she doesn't stand in the way of anything."

Dan realized his intentions didn't look that great and tried some advice.

"Darien, you love Serena, but the thing is if she loved you she would make YOU happy."

Darien didn't say anything, and when he did he changed the subject.

He got up, grabbed his coat and said, "I have to go and think." He walked out putting on his coat.

Dan sighed and went back to work. Serena was always in the way of everything, but the truth was Dan wished Serena wasn't IN the way at all, Darien was handsome and smart, and Dan wished he were.well.Gay. Dan hadn't come out of the closet and the fact was he didn't like Serena because he liked her; Darien liked Serena and not him. He pictured often, him and Darien in his apartment, undressing each other and feeling the hardness on top of one another, licking and--

"Hey Dan!" Serena smiled. Plopping herself on a stool. Dan gulped and looked at Serena, he felt his lower bodies heat and tried to picture something else, anything but Darien. He heaved for breath and turned away hoping, Serena wouldn't notice.

"Can I have a Cappuccino?" Dan nodded and swallowed. As the machine ran for the coffee, he closed his eyes and smile at the last thought of him and Darien.making it happen.

Serena watched Dan carefully; with a cocked eyebrow Dan was weird. Incredibly weird, he looked dazed most of the time, and usually heaving for air. He returned with her drink and smiled. "You just missed Darien." He said with a smirk. Serena frowned.

"Damn. I wanted to see him today."

"So what's new?" Serena asked recovering quickly.

"I should ask you the same thing." Dan replied leaning against the bar table.

"What do you mean?" She asked with a hint of amusement in her voice.

"Why would you do that to Darien?"

"Do what!" Serena asked starting to get angry.

"Make him give up his Harvard education for you, Christmas is suppose to be in one week and he is supposed to reply by then, he dreamed of Harvard all his life and here you are being so greedy!"

Instead of replying in defense she looked into her cup sadly. "He really wants to go huh?" She asked.

"Yea, he does." Dan replied feeling sorry for her.

"When is he supposed to leave?" She asked looking at Dan's face.

"January first."

"Excuse me please." She left her cup and walked outside again.
******************

Darien looked at Serena closely. She just burst in here in the middle of the night begging for his forgiveness.

"I love you so much Darien, don't leave me."

"Never." Darien replied kissing her softly. Serena wanted to tell him to go to Harvard, and be happy but she NEEDED him. She thought inwardly walking to the balcony window. Slowly snowflakes began to drizzle down to the earth, within every second the quantity growing. Serena watched closely thinking deeply. She felt a hand around her waist and loved the touch. Darien swayed with her.

"What's wrong?"

Serena frowned but replied "Nothing."

"You can tell me." He whispered in her ear.

"I just get the feeling you're not telling me everything." She remarked, silently thinking about how he felt about his trip to Harvard.

Darien thought for a moment, ""I guess you're right, I did join yoga but I was kind of hoping that would be "my" thing." He replied, his cheek against hers.

Serena scoffed, laced her fingers with his and led him to his couch. "No, not anything like that." She tried to figure away she could make what she had to say easier. "Harvard Darien."

"What about Harvard." Darien asked suddenly remembering how Serena begged him to stay.

"Every one keeps telling me how much you want to go, how much you need to go." Serena said sadly, looking away from him.

"No, I told you I'd stay if you wanted me to." He replied sweetly, pulling her closer to his side.

"Not me Darien, do you REALLY want to go?"

Darien looked at her, and stood up. "I'll be back." He said.

Serena watched in confusion as he walked into the kitchen bare-chested and all.

She glanced at the table in front of her and suddenly caught eye contact with a paper that read in elegant writing "Harvard University." It was stacked on top of his other mail and she reached for it and began reading quickly. She skimmed the dates, and when she saw Darien was returning she shoved the letter into her back pocket.

When Darien returned the first thing he said was, "I'm sorry, I had to get something." He sat beside her, his midnight hair and ocean eyes, and the rest of his manly features glaring at her. Serena didn't bother asking the question again, she knew from the look in his eyes how badly this meant for him, how much he longed to go to college. She traced his face. Slightly going over his cheekbones and running her fingers through his hair. He watched her with amusement but didn't object.

She had him for 2 more weeks and then the features she longed to lose herself in would be gone for a year. "I'm sorry I woke you up." She said leaning in to give him a kiss. Her lips feathered a gentle serene kiss upon his and she treasured it. She was going to see him for 2 weeks, but she would be busy planning it all for him. Her hands moved from his hair to his cheeks and she looked at him.

Darien glanced at her and wondered what was going to happen for the first time. Serena traced his features but all he managed to do was stare, and feel his heart race and his body heat rise. He lifted his hands to her sides and he leaned in for a kiss, almost as calm as peaceful as Serena's. He watched his girlfriend move her hands down his muscled arms and to his waist.

His breath caught in his throat as never lost eye contact with Serena. He pulled her to him and before anything happened he gave her a sweet, hug and a gentle kiss. Darien kissed her neck and slightly pushed her to the couch. They undressed each other and eventually were lost in passion.

It didn't matter how long they lasted before caving in, what mattered was how much they meant to each other. How it happened? He didn't care. He knew though that if going to Harvard for a year meant never experiencing her body with his for 365 days, and then it wasn't worth going. He loved the passion they had for each other for the first time they were lost within each other.

Darien looked to the beautiful sleeping women that slept peacefully on top of his bare chest and wished this had never happened, than he would go to Harvard not missing it. But it did, and he wanted her even more.

Gently Darien lifted Serena's head and put it on the couch spot he had been laying. He stood as quiet as possible and pulled on his boxers, afterwards throwing his couch throw over her naked body. He brushed her long golden hair from her eyes and kissed her cheek gently.

It was either Harvard, or Serena. He loved her more than any school, anything; it was just the fact that he needed to support her.

He stood over the sink and sighed thinking. He felt Serena's smooth hands slide around his waist. She leaned her cheek against his back and sighed dreamily.

Harvard, or Serena. He continued to think for one last time

He turned to her and she looked up at him. Her hair that was usually tied up in to buns fell around her as if it were a robe. Her sheath was the throw Darien had laid over her while she recovered from the hours before. She pulled him to her and felt his upper body come in contact with hers. She moaned and kissed his chest.

He was ready to speak when Serena hushed him.

"Don't speak Darien, it's only a matter of time before I go home. Lets make this night last forever."

"But Serena."

"Lets pretend it will." She sat on the kitchen floor and pulled him down with her. She lay on top of him with his throw as their cover. She kissed his neck not caring that the cold floor made her shutter, and once again they fell into a passionate lovemaking sequence.

****

Serena sat at her usual booth in the crown arcade, the girls beside her. Serena dreamed away, recapping last night, where lets just say, they didn't get much sleep.

"Serena you ok?" Rae asked looking at her cautiously.

"Yea, we called you last night to talk to you about Darien, your mom said that you said you were spending the night over Amy's house." Lita added. Serena snapped her head to her.

"You covered for me right?" She asked incredibly nervous. The girls didn't say anything for a moment and searched Serena for a clue of what was going on. "Yea we covered for you Serena." Mina said sipping her drink.

There was a moment of silence and glaring at Serena.

"Where were you?" They asked in unison at last.

"No where, I was just out."

"All night?"

"You don't know that." Serena said growing angry.

"We know when you're lying Serena, we're not dumb. Now where were you?" Rae demanded. "I was over Darien's." Serena said at last, reluctantly, feeling forced, but at the same time she wanted to tell them.

"YOU WERE WHERE!!!"

"I was over Darien's."

"You didn't." Mina asked with a gulp.

Serena didn't reply. She didn't care what they said; she enjoyed it more than anything and would NEVER take it back.

"Yea, I did." The girls were shocked. Serena had sworn never to give in to sex, and she promised to save herself for marriage. But she didn't care, it wasn't a cause for alarm, it wasn't that bad that you had to call the police or the newspapers, it was just her life. She was smart about.

"You used protection.right?" Amy asked hopingly. Serena suddenly grew wide- eyed. But promised herself she wouldn't let them know.

"Yes.of course." The girls grew easy and finally were happy for her. How could she forget about protection? HOW! This was her life. She could be happy and have sex without a doubt that she wasn't pregnant or she could go have sex knowing that a year from then she would be having their baby! And it all depended on her using protection where she was stupid enough to not use it.

"So how did it happen?" And so the questions began.

"Was it good?"

"Did he satisfy you?"

"Was HE good" It all came so fast that by the time Serena answered all the questions she totally forgot about the whole protection thing.

"That is the most craziest, romantic thing!" Rae exclaimed.

"Yea, you made the first move!" Lita added. Serena smiled.

"I love him so much, it was bound to happen, but really I made it happen yesterday because he wasn't going to be here in two weeks, and I needed him before he left."

Mina cocked an eyebrow.

"Wait, what?"

"Well we all know how much he wants to go to Harvard. So while he left the room yesterday I saw the letter he got and took it. I figured since he was so good to me for the past 4 years I'd repay him and let him have his time to dream and do what he was meant to do. And when the year passes, he'll be back and we'll be together, without any regrets."

"We don't get it Serena, what exactly are you planning to do?" They asked.

"Well, I'm going to go into my savings, get him to live on life campus, and register him in, telling them he'll be going. And when the New Year comes he'll be gone and in Boston living his dream."

Serena smiled, though deep down she wanted him to stay. "That is so sweet Serena, you'd give up your dream for his? That's wonderful!"

It was only a matter of time before the two weeks passed. And she would make the most of it. ***** Before anyone knew it, it was Christmas Eve. Supposedly a time of joy but to Serena and Darien a time of distress, Serena had already sent the 750.00 to the asked address while Darien searched for the letter, so he could send it. Serena was sad because she sent it, while Darien was sad he couldn't. It mattered to Darien, but at the same time it didn't.

Darien crouched down and searched under the mattress for Serena's Christmas present. He'd given up the search for the letter; it was obvious it wasn't meant to happen. He patted all around and finally pulled out a velvet ring box. He opened it to reveal the beautiful diamond ring he purchased last year, but had never gotten the courage to propose. It wasn't her Christmas present but he hoped one day, it would be. Of course he loved her, but was he ready for marriage, at age 20 and she at age 18? They were way to young.

He glared at it for a couple of minutes and pictured himself, down on one knee proposing to her. After a night of lovemaking she would awake to a dozen roses lying beside her and Darien down on one knee. Marriage though, was a large step. He closed it and left it under the bed, continuing to search for Serena's Christmas present. At last he pulled out a necklace inside a velvet box, nearly matching the engagement ring. He rapped the silver necklace and set it on his bed. Looking at his watch, he realized Serena was going to be there anytime. He pulled on a pair of jeans and his black t-shirt with the green blazer he always wore.

It was going to be romantic evening but a sad day, on his behalf; he just wouldn't let Serena know that.

**** Serena and Darien sat watching the snowflakes fall through the balcony window holding each other sweetly. Serena pulled off her shoes and loosened her hair. "Sorry my hair was too tight." She said with a smirk. Serena looked at Darien with the corner of her eye and smiled inwardly as he watched her. She was being selfish but she wanted him, it was only 5 more days until he left, and she wanted the memories to last. It would be the third time (counting the first night).

She remembered the first night they met, where they acted despising toward each other acting like dating each other was the last thing on their minds. The constantly rude remarks to each other but always ended up running into one another. Their first kiss was amazing. Locked in a closet, forced in by Andrew and Rae, they made fun of each other but ended up kissing. Four years later here they were, longing to kiss one another, and lose themselves in passion.

Darien smiled and looked her over as she put her bobby pins away. Her Navy turtleneck sweater caressed her curves and her black skirt accentuated her hips. After she put away her barrettes he leaned in and kissed her. As they kissed he pulled his Blazer off. Revealing his black T-Shirt. Serena laughed and broke their kiss. He glared at her and caught his breath. Confusion over whelmed him. "Ok?" Serena shook her head and tried to stop laughing.

"I'm sorry. it's just." She smiled and took in a breath. "It's just, don't you remember when we thought we hated each other, and Rae trapped us in a closet, so we could prove to each other we DID like each other? And when we first kissed you told me I was a horrible kisser, so we were at it trying to prove our selves." Darien laughed and leaned his head against her neck.

"How could I forget?" He muttered kissing her neck. Serena rolled her eyes in ecstasy. She let him breath and feather kisses down her neck gently, and it felt like he had a feather moving over her. Serena sighed and urged him on with a moan. She grew excited and didn't need any more penetration to keep her going. She pulled him toward her lips and was almost ready to kiss him when the door swung open revealing the girls with their fruitcakes and presents. Serena smiled and looked at Darien's lusted face. "It's ok." Serena smiled, sitting up pulling down her shirt that had ridden up Darien smiled and greeted the girls. He tried to ignore the fact of what they saw and the blushes their cheeks were overwhelmed with.

"HI!" Serena said with a smile to the girls as if nothing happened. She blushed straightening up. "Did we barge in on something that was about to happen?" Mina said with a smirk and lowered eyelids. Rae elbowed her and walked in setting the presents she had on the table. "So what's up? I mean. lets get down to business." Serena smiled at Darien and remarked to the girls.

"You guys its fine. don't act like you didn't see what was happening, we should have remembered you were coming, so like I said its OK. okay?" The girls nodded. The night continued, and a huge surprise made the night more exciting. Andrew popped up with Reika on his arm. And what was even more surprising was Reika's pregnancy. It was only a short amount of time they had left, how they had gotten pregnant so fast was shocking.

It was two o'clock in the morning when the Christmas party ended. The party ended and every one except Serena was getting ready to leave. She grabbed her coat off the coat hanger and kissed Darien. "Bye sweetie." She said with a yawn. Darien smiled weakly, but held her. "Want to stay?" Serena smiled. And slid her hands up the back of his shirt. She kissed his neck and whispered. "Want me to?" Darien nodded, and glared at her leaning down with a kiss. It was the beginning of a long night.

**** Why the month had to go by so quickly, was a mystery. Christmas passed presents was shared. Love was made, and relationships grew. It was amazing what one time of year brought to millions of people.

Rae held a New Years Eve party, and Serena and Darien attended as well as Andrew and Reika where it was their last day. It was 11:30 and the party had just begun. People danced and ate and others drank. The weather was exceptionally warm with all the below zero temperatures. Serena cuddled with Darien, and almost ended up crying at one point when he told her that he loved her. It was only a couple of hours till he would be put out of view for a year, and he didn't even know. He thought they would go to his place and celebrate the new years, but he in reality he'd be packing as soon as possible.

It was only 10 minutes till 12 when Serena decided find the courage to tell Darien that he would be leaving her.

"Darien I need to talk to you." Serena said sadly.

"Now?" Darien asked curiously setting down his cup of wine. "It's almost 12." He added. Serena led him into Rae's room.

She glared at him in silence as she felt the tears burn the corner of her eyes. She jumped into his arms, almost pushing him backward and whispered into his ears surprisingly, "I love you." Darien smiled and laughed.

"I love you too. What's this abou-"

Serena let him go and smiled as tears slid down her cheeks. Darien's laugh faded and he immediately asked her why she was crying.

"I know. I know about you wanting to go to Harvard." Her remark coaxed him into a deeper frown.

"Why didn't you tell me? I would've understood."

Darien turned away.

"You don't understand, you were so sad when I told you I was leaving."

"Stop Darien." Serena started. "You're going!"

She laughed at how forceful she must have sounded. Darien looked at her.

"Wait but?"

"No, listen to me.you're going."

"But I don't want to leave you."

"You're not, you'll only be gone for a year." She replied when all she wanted to say was how much she wanted him to make love to her like that one night, every night. For always.

"But Serena." Serena hugged him and kissed his lips. She was ready to cry more tears but she wanted to make him believe she wanted him to go.

"You're going," she whispered among his lips.

There was a moment of silence; Darien loved her so much. she was so perfect.

"I can't, the deadline was a week ago Serena, its to late." Serena laughed.

"Is it?" She pulled out his Harvard letter and waved it in front of him.

"Where did you get that?"

"Don't ask Darien, I paid for everything. I'm broke now but hey, it's a price to pay for love. Here's your plain ticket." She said a single tear escaping to the midst of depression.

"Thank You." He whispered. He couldn't believe what she was giving up; he promised they would end up together, with a family of their own someday. Suddenly Serena broke the silence. Her silent tears rolled as she came to the climax of their discussion.

"Now."

Darien looked at her with great confusion.

"Now what?"

"You're leaving now."

"But I don't want to leave now."

"But you have to." Serena started kissing his cheek and holding him closer.

"How?" Darien wondered, feeling sadness in his heart. His eyes burned with soon-to-fall tears but he held them. How could he leave her now on the brink of the New Year?

Serena stepped back from him and wiped her tears.

"Well first you kiss me. like this."

She kissed him in the most passionate way, ever. It set their bodies on fire and brought them closer. Darien lightly pushed her against the wall, never wanting her so badly since before that hour. His body pressed against hers, her back to the door. They fit like a puzzle piece. He felt her warmth and it aroused him even more. They breathed heavily as he feathered kisses down her neck. Serena felt his body thoroughly, but stopped him completely by pushing him lightly.

"Then you hug me tightly."

She added closing her eyes in passion. Darien's breathing was against her ear as he held her tightly. The blonde wished she could tear off his clothes and make love to him, but the departure will be even more painful. He hugged her and Serena almost forgot what she was doing. almost.

"And then you say, I don't want to start the New Year with you if I can't end it with you." Darien repeated the same thing into her ear. She looked up at him and saw the look in his eyes.

"Good-bye Darien.see you in a year." Darien hugged her and replied.

"Not good bye. See you later." Serena smirked as she let here tears roll.

Darien stood there not letting her go and it just made Serena cry more. "GO!" She screamed pushing him out the door.

He smiled weakly and said, "A year Serena, we'll be together in a year."

The entire room burst out into a countdown as the ball was ready to be dropped in down town.

Serena waited a couple of minutes after he left before coming out. Rae noticed her and rushed to her side.

"He'll be back Serena. Just wait and see, and when he does you'll be happier than ever expected." She comforted holding her friend close.

"But it hurts." Serena said crying.

"You love him, you showed you cared, its supposed to hurt."

Serena cried silently as every one blurted.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

Serena cried and sobbed as all her friends held her and comforted her.

It was only a year but for the couple it meant a lifetime. Darien was happy but deep down he wished he would of stayed, now departing from his home. It was a year but like they both said. Serena sighed sat on the couch as she began the New Year, alone as it seemed, for the first time in four years.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The sun shone, the stars glistened and thee world went on, with or without Darien beside her. It wasn't fair, Serena kept thinking. How could people be celebrating their new years going shopping and being with family when the pain sliced through her like a knife?

It was the hardest first weeks she ever had to endure. She sobbed in her room, and cried silently at the arcade when she was forced to get out of the house. Every one, her mom, her dad, and the girls they ALL assured her it was only a year; it wasn't like they broke up.

Serena plopped lazily on her bed and awaited the daily phone call Darien always made sure to make. When he called they talked for hours and the pain for one moment of the day, would cease. Whenever the phone rang she lunged for it screaming a hello into the receiver, if it weren't Darien she urge the person to call back.

Luna came into the room and jumped atop of the bed. "Hello Serena." The cat yawned. Serena didn't reply. She was to busy hiding the sadness in her eyes and waiting ever so closely next to the phone, as if there might be a ring she wouldn't hear.

"SERENA?" Luna echoed again. "What?" "Why must you wait so desperately by the phone, for a phone call that might

Not even co-"

Serena didn't even let the phone finish ringing the first time before she picked it up frantically.

"Hello? Darien?" She felt her pain go to the bottom of her stomach where she could put it away until they hung up.

"How you've been?" Darien asked, putting away all his things in his backpack for tomorrow.

"Missing you." Serena replied sadly, wishing she could be with him face to face. Darien felt his eyes water. When she spoke like that it made him just want to get a plane ticket back to Tokyo and hold her again. But there hasn't been a vacation yet, and even if there was he wouldn't be able to afford it, he had to pay monthly rent.

They talked for 2 hours before Darien had to go and study for an upcoming exam. "Wait! I only get to talk to you once a day, I want to make it last."

Darien could picture his girlfriend lying in bed tears ready to come from her eyes.

"Serena, I love you sweetie, and I would stay and talk but I need to make it in college if it is going to be for a year." IT was hard but he finally got her to calm down.

They kissed each other over the phone and said goodbye and their I love you's. Serena smiled and turned off her lamp, glad that she had the last word with Darien, and was comforted. She drifted off to sleep before she could feel the pain again.

Darien strained his vision to stay awake, and study for his Chemistry test. It was 11:00 at night and every one he knew that would help him study was asleep, it was early, but the college students weren't stupid To make it through Harvard you needed responsibility. He glared at Serena's picture; they were holding each other to keep warm, on that cold winter day, last year.

If Serena were there, she would have helped him study, no matter what time it was. Or would they be studying? Would Serena seduce him like she did a month ago when he was still in Tokyo? He wished. He longed for her lips, he face, her.

"Hi Darien." Looking towards the door he caught a glimpse toward the time and it read 11:10, he must have been pretty dazed, but then again he usually did when it came to Serena. It was Annabel, his partner for one of his classes. She was a unique girl. She was no Serena, but was the next best thing.

She had beautiful long brunette hair, baby blue eyes, was pretty tall, and had a good personality. But every time he saw her he couldn't help but to think of Serena.

He smiled his smile and returned the greeting. Annabel spoke. "So you miss her huh?" She strode inside, and sat at the edge of his bed. Darien sighed deeply and nodded a yes. He didn't want to sound conceited but he thought Annabel liked him. "I miss her so much." "How did it happen?" Darien glared at Annabel with great confusion. "How did what happen?" "How'd you guys meet?" She laughed at him for being so confused.

He's so cute. is he really as close to this girl as he seems? Annabel thought inwardly watching him prepare for the story.

"I was 16 she was 14. When I saw her, you could see how full of life she was, she was beautiful.still is for god's sake. Well anyway, I figured that she was too young; despite the fact it was only by 2 years and tried to take my eye off of her. I dated other girls and she dated other guys. But every time I saw her I just wanted to be with her, it was like a force drew me to her." Darien laughed, "I even tried to convince myself I hated her, I called her names, like meatball head and Blondie, and always tried to put her down, in return she did the same. Then one day after long weeks of torture, her friend and my friend tried to make us confess our liking towards each other and locked us in a broom closet."

Annabel smiled; she so far wished it were she in Serena's place. She watched the joy in his eyes as he told the story, and promised he'd feel the same way when people asked how they met and became an item.

"Ever since then, we've been together." Darien sighed dreamily, wanting Serena more than ever.

"4 years?" Annabel asked in awe.

"Yep, four years."

"I don't want to sound forward, since we've just met a month ago-"

"No, what? It's ok."

Annabel was flushed with embarrassment. "Did you and her. ever. you know."

Darien's cheek flushed with humiliation, and he forced and embarrassed laugh.

"Actually, yea we have. before I Came here too. it was our first time."

"Are you serious, didn't you feel, closed in when a man like you had to be held back? Did you ever cheat?"

Darien looked at her wide-eyed, and the girl before him drew back instantly.

"I am SO sorry, I can imagine how I must sound." She stood and stepped back with a frown and Darien could see she was close to tears. He laughed and urged her to sit back down.

"Listen Annabel, its fine. ok? I don't mind these questions at all; I'm not embarrassed to mention any of this.so ask away. OK?"

Annabel sat down but now she felt stupid. He smiled at her and lifted her chin.

"I told you its fine, I never cheated, Its not right. Of course I thought about it but I also thought about the fact she was the one I wanted to be with and didn't want to ruin it over a little wait over something I could control. I'm not that kind of guy.not at all."

Annabel frowned.Never? Not even with her? She would change it all.just watch.

They sat and talked and talked, mostly about Serena. Did Darien feel guilty for talking to another girl about sex and love and marriage? Of course he did but nothing was going to happen. Right?
Serena walked aimlessly around her house, awaiting the girls' arrival. She was so jumpy and lately was feeling really sick. When she ate certain foods, she wanted to puke, when something she didn't like happened. she cried. She was emotional all of a sudden and wanted Darien so badly. Her stomach growled uncontrollably and she wanted to go to eat, opening the refrigerator opened the door to her stomach acid. The smell of made tuna filled the room and suddenly the blonde didn't feel good anymore. She ran to the sink and threw up what ever was in her stomach that she ate before.

She shut the refrigerator door and rinsed her mouth out, and cried silently. She reached for the phone and dialed long distance to Darien even though she wasn't suppose to, her mom had strictly forbidden any calls to Boston and if there were Serena would pay for it, but she didn't care, she wanted her boyfriend.

Darien picked up and Serena broke into tears, for the pain she had, for the fact he wasn't nearby and for the fact she was happy to hear him.

"Baby what's wrong!" At 10:00 Saturday Darien was sleeping, and hearing Serena sobbing so hysterically, was not exactly a wake up call he was expecting.

Serena tried to calm down, and eventually she did.

"I don't feel good." She groaned

Darien laughed to himself; he loved how Serena depended on him for little things like he health.

"What do you feel?"

"Sadness." Darien stopped laughing and frowned.

"Serena its only 9 more months till I come home sweetie, don't do this I love you, you know that but the fact is I can't keeping going through this, I miss you too, but don't throw up or get headaches over it."

Serena nodded and groaned an "I know".

"Feel better?"

Serena moaned a yes.

"Promise?"

Another moaned yes.

"Ok, I'll call you later."

"I love you Darien."

"I love you too."

"Bye."

And they both hung up.

Serena sat in a corner with the dial tone ringing through her ear. Her stomach rumbling again, something wasn't right.it wasn't sickness; it wasn't depression, but something more, and it couldn't be good.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Darien laid in his bed his hands behind his head. He looked to his bedside and grabbed his picture of Serena and him. He looked it over cautiously like it was a treasure map. With his thumb he traced Serena's smile so gently.

"It's so hard Serena." He whispered to the picture. "What's so hard?" Asked a petite voice. He smiled weakly and looked up. One person he grew tired to see was Annabel, she was always there, and though her intentions were well, he didn't know if she was.

Constantly bringing him breakfast every morning, of course when he and Serena slept together she did the same, but he was used to Serena not Annabel, acting like his girlfriend.

"Hi Annabel." He said hiding his emotions. She passed him a cup of coffee she had obviously bought for him down in the coffee shop. He sat in his bed, forgetting he had no shirt on. He set the picture on his lap and took the coffee without hesitation. Annabel blushed and watched his sexy biceps and six-pack. Damn, he was hot.

"What's so hard?" Annabel repeated.

Darien sighed, she wanted to know so much, but it was his fault he told it was ok to ask anything she wanted, who knew she'd take it seriously.

"Staying here, in Harvard, without my girlfriend."

"You have to, I mean your dream is to be a doctor so you could have a great life."

Darien shook his head as soon as he took a sip of his coffee.

"No, I want to be a doctor is right, but only to support Serena when we get married."

Annabel almost choked on her coffee. MARRIAGE! Since when! She thought angrily.

"Umm.. You guys are engaged?" She spat, trying not to sound obvious.

"Nope, not yet. I bought a ring a year ago and decided to propose when we're ready."

I need to convince him!

"You're not ready, I mean are you? Think about it! You're 20 she's 18! EIGHTEEN! What if you get her pregnant? You're both to young!"

Darien set the coffee down and stood up. He pulled his pants up over his boxer shorts and pulled on his black t-shirt.

"I'd be happy if she was pregnant first off, scared but happy, and we aren't to young and when I get back she'll be 19 and I'll be 21 and we both will happily engaged."

Annabel tried to think.

"What if she cheated?" She blurted out.

"On me?" Darien laughed sarcastically.

"Never, I know my Serena, she'd never cheat on me."

"What about you." Darien glared at Annabel.

"Me cheat? Never."

It didn't take a genius to say she was angry it was in his eyes.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Serena cried angrily at herself. Protection, it was all she needed to use to save her this day for a while.the confrontation, the pain. She threw a snow globe at the door and watched it break in contact. Her world fell like a snow globe, heavy, breaking instantly. She curled in a corner and ignored the door as it opened.

"Who is it?" She asked.

"It's us Serena, the girls. Luna called us over saying something happened, something horrible." Serena sat up and faced the girls. She pointed to her wastebasket and the girls walked over to it. Rae crouched to her knees and held back her tears as she pulled out a pregnancy test.

Lita and Ami walked toward Serena and held her as she cried. Rae let the tears flow.

"I thought you said you used protection?" Ami said sadly.

"I lied."

The girls circled Serena and watched her cry, and confusion overwhelm her.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"What now?" Rae asked.

"Darien's the father right?"

Serena laughed sarcastically. "No shit."

"Call him."

"I can't! He's in Harvard studying for me, what's he going to say when he hears I'm pregnant, it's another life to support."

"So you're not gonna tell him.he's just going to come one day and see you with a baby Serena? What the hell he's going to think."

"I can't tell him. Lita! He's a guy, he can't be tied down to one girl, and he'll leave especially with a baby." Serena lay on the bed staring at her ceiling blankly... What now.

The phone rang, and for the first time she didn't lunge for it. She watched it ring and much to Serena's dismay Ami picked it up.

"Hello? Oh HI Darien? I've been great and you.yea, thank you! Oh yea, here's Serena." Ami passed the phone to Serena but Serena couldn't help but to push it away. Ami thrust it back and Serena reluctantly spoke.

"Hey Darien!" She greeted trying to sound as cheerful as possible. "How do you feel?" Darien asked. Annabel was studying beside him for the test the following Monday. "Better. I miss you, come home." Serena twirled the cord of the phone, something she usually did when she was nervous. The girls looked at her with amazement. Rae was ready to speak but Lita shut her mouth, muttering. "Don't mess with pregnant women." Darien was confused. She had bought him the ticket, she had given the speech, why would she say all that to have it go to a waste. "What?" "I can't live without you. come home, lets start our life now, with KIDS!" Darien stood, more confused than ever.

Annabel watched Darien talk to Serena, if this was the relationship Darien wanted he was crazy. She could give him everything, and so much more.

Serena came to her senses and just the way he acted freaked her out. She would wait; wait until he was ready, until she was ready.

"Darien, I'm sorry, it's just. I-I miss you. I didn't mean what I said about the kids yet. I'm sure we're both to young .when's your next vacation?" She said trying to change the subject immediately; she didn't want him to ask what was wrong yet.

Darien frowned, it was evident Serena was hiding something.

"I don't know but I PROMISE, when it comes up you'll be the first person I notify and visit. Why don't I go and check? I'll call you back, if not, tomorrow. Ok?"

"Ok, I love you, bye."

Darien hung up and went to his desk.

"Where you going?" "I'm looking for the vacation calendar." Annabel swallowed the lump in her throat. It was to see her, he couldn't, and then he'd fall for her even harder. NOT OVER HER DEAD BODY! She glanced frantically so she could find the calendar before him. And there it was, the white sheet giving him all the days off where he could visit his whore. She grabbed it stealthily and shoved it in her back pocket. It was time to put her magic to work.

She stood up and put her arms around Darien's waste. She laughed as she felt him jump. He faced her looking down at her. "What are you doing?" He asked. She smiled and pulled him into a hug.

"I said what are you doing?" Annabel laughed. "Don't you want to-"

The phone rang. Darien pushed Annabel lightly.

"Serena? Hi?"

Serena sighed gently, but cried silently.

"I can't Darien. It's to hard"

"What's to hard?" The pain in her voice was heartbreaking. What was wrong with her? It sounded like when they broke up the first time, she felt like he didn't care. Like he didn't want her, to hold or kiss, but she meant the world to him.

"You, to be with you hurts. You're gone for a year, and I'm alone for that year Darien. I cry myself to sleep, wishing you were beside me, but you're not. I know you feel obligated to do this-"

Darien knew what was happening and he would stop it before it was to late.

"No, I never feel obligated to do something for you I love you!"

Annabel listened intently. Darien turned to her and ordered her to leave.

"What's this about?"

"Darien. you're tied down, what kind of man wants to have a girlfriend that annoys him, who you have to call everyday, awaits desperately for his call." Darien knew she didn't mean it; the words were foreign in her mouth even as she spoke I sounded like an unrehearsed script.

"Me! Serena, I'm that kind of guy. I love it I love it all. I love the way you depend on me, I love the way you wait for me to call, and I love how you call me when I don't! I love it! So what the hell is this really about?" He was growing angry, he knew she didn't want to break up, it was something or someone making her do it.

There was a long silence, an awkward one. His angels voice cried in the back round and he felt his heart break piece by piece, by the person least expected.

Her voice cracked and she spoke "I can't tell you." And the click of her hanging up echoed through his mind.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Serena cried into her arms and Mina entered. They stayed with her all day and when she broke it off with her true love and the father of her baby they grew angry and stepped into the hall to talk it over.

Mina put her hand on Serena and rubbed her back gently. "Sweetie, it's Darien? Why would you even break up with him? Because you're scared Serena, but you're supposed to be."

Serena's sobs ceased a little.

"I have to tell my mom, my dad, I have so much to do in the 7 month period. I need Darien, but I'm scared when he finds out he won't need me, or want me like he did before."

Mina sighed. "Every time we spoke to him you were always brought into the conversation, and he always said how much he loved you. He wouldn't leave you over a pregnancy."

"But it hurts, I have to wait a year before I can see him and when he arrives, the baby will have already been born!"

"Talk to him sweetie."

"I can't." Serena sat up, her eyes glistening with the tears she was already so used to. Mina was right what kind of love was it when she broke it off anytime something happened.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"What happened Darien?" Annabel asked. Darien paced the room, his eyes glassy. He felt like he was losing it. He needed Serena, if they weren't together, why was he even at college? Annabel came back, and for some reason he didn't care. He sat, and then stood, he opened his mouth but didn't speak, he thought but didn't know what to think.

"H-hello?" Serena shuttered against the voice on the other line. "Who is this?" Annabel asked angrily. "Whose this?" Serena replied, feeling like it was her right to ask, not the bimbo on the other line. "This is Annabel, now who the fuck are you?" "I'm Serena Darien's girlfriend!" Annabel smiled, it was playtime. "Awe so you're Serena, Darien told me about you. you're the lesbian right? Oh, I'm so sorry for putting it in that way." Serena was shocked. "That's a fuckin lie!" "Oh, that's a shame. I never spoke to a lesbian before." "Where's Darien!" "He's in the bathroom getting my birth control pills." "He's WHAT!" "Maybe I shouldn't have said that."

Annabel sort of felt bad for Serena, after she sounded like she was going to puke. Serena, didn't say a word, she just hung up.

Darien came out wiping his face. He looked at Annabel with the phone in her hand.

"Who called?" He demanded. "Telemarketers." Annabel muttered. Glaring at Darien she carefully deleted Serena's name off the caller ID behind her back.

"She seductively walked to Darien and threw her arms around him. She thrust up against him and he looked away. He didn't push or budge he just looked away.

"Annabel...this isn't right." "Why? You're single, you're hot, and you want this as much as I do." He wanted Serena, and the truth was when they kissed, Annabel and he, he only pictured Serena.

The brunette kissed his neck gently and pulled him toward her even more. But no matter how much he didn't want to, it was payback in his mind.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"What happened?" Ami asked hopingly. Serena looked at her and shook her head, signaling nothing. If she spoke she would cry, and she didn't want to cry anymore. Not for Darien.

"Well?" Serena shook another no, but holding back her tears. She spoke as little as possible before she broke. "He slept.with uh.another women." The girls were shocked.Darien? Mr. Marriage?

It was only a matter of time before she would find the real him and she didn't like it at all; her Darien was now another one of the guys she dated. Knowing she could never forgive him, let alone forget, their baby was going to have to be HER baby.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*SOME MONTHS LATER*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Annabel smiled as she laid her head against Darien's bare chest. He slept peacefully, and she was happier than anyone she met or knew. She knew they'd be together. It was sooner or later. No one could resist her. But it was something about Darien that made her cry sometimes. She wanted to make love to him every night, but unlike most men who would have died for an opportunity like his, he didn't. And when they made love it was so passionate, on her behalf. She wanted him to feel the same way. But when they lusted over, which was quite rare, he was quiet and she swore when he climaxed he would whisper Serena's name. It had been 6 months and school had been over for quite sometime, and he seemed depressed. Annabel never mentioned the phone call, and never planned to.

Darien awoke quickly, and instead of basking in the heat of the spring He jumped into his clothes and went straight into the bathroom. When he came out Annabel was in her robe. She went to give him a kiss but he dodged it acting liking it was accidental. He buckled his pants and said blankly. "I'm going to visit Tokyo." "What?" Annabel stared with astonishment. "I'm going home for a little bit." "To see her?" Annabel said with disgust in her voice. Darien looked at Annabel with a fake smile. "Of course not, we're through Annabel, we've been through for 6 months." Annabel knew it was a lie, but she made her way around it. "OH really? Then I'll go with you." Darien jumped back slightly. "NO! I mean. no sweetie." He walked over to Annabel and kissed her forehead sweetly. "Its something I have to do alone."

As Darien went to the phone to purchase a ticket so he could leave that very night, Annabel thought things through. When he left to pack, she called the same plane service and ordered a ticket also, she was going with him whether or not he knew about was not the case. Serena wasn't going to be his again.never and she would make sure of it.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Six months had come and gone, and Serena missed Darien every day of every month. Her baby was going to be fatherless, and she hated the very idea. She remembered the very next day after Darien had deceived her she decided to break the news to every one. She explained her situation, leaving out to her parents Darien's and hers breakup. Only her friends new, and that's the way she wanted to keep it. Eight and a half months into her pregnancy, Serena was growing more scared every day that passed. Her birthday passed and she was now 19, Darien was 21. She longed for him; his touch and kiss, and smile, everything. She would've given anything for him. Anything at all, but he ruined it, sleeping with Annabel. Or whatever her name was.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Darien reached for his remaining belongings, and shoved them into his fourth suitcase. Annabel asked him why he was taking most of his stuff, he lied and said he needed it all. the truth was, he was leaving Boston and never coming back. He hated it, he couldn't even believe he came; he ruined his picture perfect life, over payback with some girl who meant NOTHING to him. He knew she felt differently. Day after day she would say how much she loved him, she'd try to get in bed with him when he wasn't looking and slowly pleasure him, half the time, he was too tired.

He would never forgive himself for letting Serena go, never calling her back, and when he did, feeling to coward to speak rather than call and hang up. She was the reason he was there and the way he repaid for it was not the way he expected. Sleeping with another woman, starting a new relationship without theirs ending. It was uncalled for. He prepared his things, and pulled on his jacket. Ready to walk out the door, the phone caught his eye. He tried to avoid it but he had to phone her. He picked up the receiver and slowly dialed. The last digit was all that took to call her. His fingers trembled and slowly he swallowed deep as the button was pushed. It rang four times before it was picked up. He couldn't tell who it was. It was manly voice, and he wondered if he was with Serena.

"Can I speak to Serena?" He muttered, not sure whether to disguise his voice or be himself. "Yea, who is this?" The voice became clearer to him, it sounded like Serena's father.but not quite. "Kenji?" Darien asked curiously. The voice on the other line proved he hated being asked that. "NO! SAMMY! It's SAMMY not KENJI.SAMMY!" Darien pulled the phone from his ear as he listened to Sammy self-consciously, debate on why he was always called his father. Almost as he started he stopped and called Serena's name. "SERENA! SOME GUY IS ON THE PHONE FOR YOU!" Silence took over the phone line, and Darien expected Serena to run to the phone, but she took her time. "Hello?" Serena spoke. Darien shut his eyes and pictured her face. he missed her voice. It was way to long. He knew he needed to apologize. As he was about to speak, Annabel walked in and screamed a cheerful HELLO.

Serena suddenly was taken back, as it was evident from her gasp on the phone. Darien hung up immediately before she could know who it was. Darien looked at Annabel angrily, grabbed his suitcases and headed out the door. "Wait!" Annabel cried. Darien stopped and slowly turned to her. "Yes Annabel?" He asked through gritted teeth. "You're leaving already?" "That's what it looks like doesn't it?" "Yes it does." Annabel muttered sadly. Darien couldn't take it; he didn't want a huge farewell. "No Annabel I'm not leaving, I'm just taking these suitcases to the taxi waiting for me, wait up here, I'll be back."

Annabel nodded as Darien ran to the Taxi waiting for him and urged the man to take him the airport. He was going to apologize to Serena big time.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Serena sat in the coffee house; across the street from the arcade she always went to see Andrew, and Darien. She missed it all, but she was going to be mother, she knew she couldn't be a kid anymore. She was growing older. She sat in her long dress, twirling her long blonde hair she now wore loose. She was changing, as she knew it. She pushed her hair back and took a sip of her warm milk, and a bite of her chicken sandwich.

Rae sat beside her, with her order of a cappuccino. "Serena I have to tell you something important." Rae muttered almost inaudibly.

"What is it?" Serena mumbled.

"It's about Darien."

Serena turned away immediately. She looked outside at the moon and stars that had flooded to sky so quickly. It was raining a mist that you could only see when glaring up at a streetlight when it seemed like feathers gently swept down your arms, but when in reality it was rain, only viewable when caught in the spotlight. It had been so long since anyone had dare speak his name in her presence. The father of her child, the cause of her ending happiness and unending worry and fears. Darien was and is her one true love.

"Serena, listen. He's coming back." Serena shot a teary glance back to Rae. A single tear of whatever emotion she had, slid down her cheek. He would know when he came, he would be confronted by others the truth. He would be told he was going to be a father in less than a month.

"When? Why?" Serena asked almost angrily.

"Today, he should be arriving anytime now, and no one knows why. He called me and told me."

"You didn't tell him anything did you?" Serena asked urgently. If anyone was going to tell him, it was going to be her.

"No of course not! But Serena.what are you going to do?" Rae asked pity in her dark eyes.

"I don't know Rae. I don't know." She grabbed her purse and heaved herself to her feet, with not much help from the baby.

She looked to Rae before she walked outside the coffee shop's door. She waved to Rae good-bye, and whispered a thank you.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Darien sighed deeply; he stepped out of the Taxicab he was in, paying the driver. It was so different even though his entire life was spent here. He missed it so much. He looked up at his apartment building, and with another deep breath headed to the home that he missed so much.

He took his key and almost as if not knowing what to expect opened the door. He walked in to find all his essentials still, miraculously, clean. He entered it feeling foreign in someone else's apartment. He entered his room and glared at the bed. The bed where the first passionate moment shared between Serena and him was shared. He sat on it carefully and shut his eyes, remembering.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Serena walked around the streets slowly. Occasionally she cried silent tears, debating whether or not to check if he was home. She would tell him the whole story, and leave with the last word. Or she could tell him the whole story and make up with him. But how could she when he never called and asked for forgiveness. he called yesterday, but Annabel was there. He didn't want remorse obviously. She placed her hand over her oversized stomach. What about the baby? She thought. Will they ever know their father? What about Darien? Will he ever know his child?

So many thoughts raced through her mind. It hurt her to know Darien was never there, for the baby's first heartbeat, the first look at the child, the first movement of the child? She remembered when she was asked if she wanted to know the sex of the baby. her reply was no. Maybe she felt if Darien ever did come through they could have a first together.

Serena looked up at where she was. She smiled weakly at Darien's faint apartment light through the mist of the rain. The doctor told her she shouldn't be out when it was raining, she didn't want to be sick during the last month of the pregnancy, but she needed to see him. She pushed back her damp hair and made her way inside the building.

Serena made her way to the fifth floor and the last door in the hall to the right. She sighed deeply and poised her hand above the door, ready to knock. She closed her eyes tightly, and let her hands gently rap on the door. The door opened slowly to reveal Darien, for the first time in almost a year.

Their eyes caught gently; even though Serena tried to stare angrily she couldn't but to remember his lips on her body. She missed him, there was no doubt. Tears slid down her cheeks and she stepped closer to him. Her breath was coming in gasps. She didn't know what to do at that point.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Darien glared at her closely. She was still beautiful. There was no point in looking at her any more. She was finally in his presence. After almost one full year, he felt no different then when they first met, first kissed, or first made love. He pulled her into his apartment and gently kissed her cheek. He didn't want to be to forward.

He kissed her cheek again, with more than just a friendly intention, almost leaning into her every time his lips feathered her cheek. He glared at her with beautiful ocean blue eyes. He wanted nothing more than to kiss her. Serena stopped him abruptly as he was ready to move away. She grabbed his face within her hands and pulled his lips to hers. Darien didn't seem to notice Serena's stomach as an obstacle, despite how much he wanted to pull her closer to him. He moaned and she replied with the same. It had been to long, time seemed to freeze, the ecstasy and lust was still there.

Serena suddenly jerked away from him. "LISTEN Darien!" Her eyes grew watery as she pulled off her heavy coat. "LOOK!" She screamed angrily, pointing to their child. It was obvious she wasn't ready to forgive or forget.

Darien was shocked. Her stomach was 10 times its normal size, proving her pregnancy. He looked at her, his eyes growing glassy, knowing he lost her. He had her, and he lost her. No matter how much he wanted to disregard it Serena belonged to someone else. "How far along are you?" He asked sadly. "8 ½ months." Serena muttered, keeping her head low almost in disgust. "W-whose the father?" Darien asked, voice broken apart. Serena glared at him with pitiful eyes. " You are." she whispered at last. Darien looked at Serena in amazement.

"I'm the father? Is that what you just said." "That's exactly what I said." "WHEN WERE YOU PLANNIG TO TELL ME, WHEN THE BABY WAS 40 YEARS OLD?" Serena started crying.

It wasn't fair; he couldn't just come after 9 months into her life again, angrily stating her wrongdoing.she wanted to tell him.

"You asshole! You cheat on me, never bother to call and apologize and you're yelling at me? I don't want you to be in this child's life anymore than I want you in mine. How could you cheat on me with Annabel? When were you going to tell me?"

Darien was speechless.

Suddenly his life didn't make sense, its not like it ever did anyway. She was right though. No matter how much he didn't want to believe it, she was right.

He was going to be a father. a father who wasn't aloud to even look at the child.

Darien watched Serena's eyes, and Serena Darien's. They both held anger, fear, anxiety and as never expected.love. They weren't going to admit it though, never.

It was amazing how one year ago they were together and smiling, the next year.here they were.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked slowly stepping up to her.

"Why didn't you tell me? I would've understood. All you had to tell me was that you never loved me, or you never wanted to be with me..."

Slowly Darien tried to put his arms around her, apologize, but she wouldn't let him. She sobbed and sobbed thrusting her fist to his chest, pushing, with all her force, Darien away.

"Look at me Darien!" She screamed, applying more force. "I HAD MY ENTIRE LIFE AHEAD OF ME! But I gave it all away and got pregnant by some stupid asshole who didn't realize the concept of a relationship or true love!"

Her eyes burned with her oncoming, flowing tears. It was as if she had held in all her pain and decided to let it all out, all at one time. She loved him, and that was the worst thing in the world for her, her heart belonged to him and no matter how much he hurt her it would always.

She glared at him through her blurry vision, as her attempts to push him away failed. Instead she let her guard down and let him hold her. Despite her dignity she felt so unbelievably.safe?

"I never meant to hurt you Serena." "Then why Darien? Why didn't you ever call? Ask for forgiveness or anything of the sort?" Darien didn't reply.

She leaned her head against his chest, not helping but to inhale his smell again, and just about when she was ready to let him be with her once again, she caught a whiff of perfume. Most likely.Annabel's, she pushed him and looked him in the eye.

Darien glared right back, and for the first time since they met he didn't know what was going to happen. He wanted to be with her, he wanted to start a family with her, and always wanted to, he just didn't know how to go about it.

The perfume.it raced through her mind like the way the moon swept past the night, or birds swept past the sky. It was always going to be there. The fact he cheated on her and didn't have the last shred dignity to call and apologize, would always be with her.

No words were spoken; no movement was shown. only communication through two pairs of eyes belonging to two lovers so new to love, that everything that came was unexpected and surreal.

All Serena could do was merely shake her head and walk away with no last word as she had planned. Darien knew it would almost be impossible to start new, to be with her as Annabel had never happen because the fact is she did.

He raced after her to the front of his apartment building.

"SERENA! WAIT!" He pulled her so that she would face him.

The rain came pouring down, evolving from the misty gray night. It was dusk and a third of the moon began to show, despite the clouds.

"I have nothing to say to you Darien. a year ago I would've listened to you. I would have given my life, and my world. look where it's gotten me. alone with a child on the way with no father." She muttered, her face dripping wet with tears and rain.

Darien grabbed her hand, "The only reason the child is fatherless and you're alone is because you won't let me be there, for you. for BOTH of you."

Serena jumped as the thunder roared soon followed by lightening. The night was turning into a dark gray, almost a black.

"Why should I let you in my life, I did once and you killed me inside."

"I was a coward. I should have NEVER left you the way I did. I was scared to be with you."

"It's NOT an excuse!" Serena screamed, yanking her hand from his grip. The rain started to pour harder, the raindrops growing thicker.

"SEE! You won't let me apologize!"

"BECAUSE I WON'T FORGIVE YOU! There is No point Darien."

Darien glared at her sadly through the cloudy rain. He stepped to her and pulled Serena into a searing kiss. Proving his passion, his emotions and his love. He feathered kisses all over her as if it were the last time, he missed her, he wanted her, he wanted to be WITH her.

He ran his finger through her wet hair and Serena through his.

He pulled away got down on one knee and took Serena's hand. She didn't object she just looked down at Darien waiting for what would happen next.

He looked up at her not taking any notice of the raindrops falling in his eyes. he was ready.

"Serena, my whole life I waited for someone like you."

"Darien!" He snapped his head to the right and Serena followed.

Standing on the street curb, with a Taxi driving away behind her stood Annabel.

Darien's jaw dropped and Serena looked at the girl approaching them curiously. Approaching, Darien stood up beside Serena grasping her hand with his.

"What the hell do you think you're doing Darien?" Annabel asked hand propped on her hip, the other holding an umbrella.

"Proposing."

Annabel looked at Serena, her eyes slowly examining her.

"This pregnant broad? What the hell Darien, what about OUR life?"

"What life?" Serena asked looking at Darien drastically.

"I wonder the same thing." Darien replied, staring daggers at Annabel.

"OUR LIFE! We live together, we slept together.we even."

Darien immediately turned to Serena trying to explain before anything happened that would ruin his life again.

She immediately tried with all her might to release her hand from his. She backed away slowly shaking her head in disgust.

"So that's why you never called? That's why?"

"Serena wait.I don't love her.I love you!"

Annabel interrupted.

"YOU SAID YOU DID!"

Darien looked at her in disbelief.

"NO I DIDN'T!"

"Yes you did!"

"NO-"

Suddenly a piercing yell interrupted the rainfall, and the argument.

" What happened Serena?" He immediately asked turning all his attention to the blonde who grasped her stomach in utter pain.

"My water broke." Serena said tears streaming down her face.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

She propped her legs against her chest, and pushed. It was the moment neither Darien nor Serena had expected. The ambulance had come and almost shoved Darien in his scrubs and into the room Serena was giving birth in. Serena pushed forth their child, not knowing what to expect. Almost as it had all began it ended. Wails of a baby entered the room, and a scream of relief escaped Serena.

"It's a...GIRL!" The doctor screamed holding up the slimy mess of a baby that was their child. Serena gave almost a sob and laugh. Darien held her hand tighter, kissing her with the fullest passion. Annabel was left on the street as the ambulance drove away. She screamed for Darien to return but he never did, it was unknown to where she was now. The small proportioned girl was cleaned and given to the arms of Serena, and almost as soon as she started to cry, she stopped. It was so hard to believe, they were parents.mother and father to a beautiful girl, wrapped in pink fuzz. A nurse approached them asking for their daughters name, Serenity, Serena replied.

"Last name?" There was a silence, and glares passed between the two. "I'll be back for it." The nurse replied with a sweet smile, as she left. Darien just glared at Serena, and Serena glared at Serenity.

Neither of them seemed like they wanted to rush into the conversation of "us". It was almost as if a flower had budded, or the moon rose into the sky or the set, it was how quickly little Serenity had been born and the decision of "them" had to be made. It was amazing on how life had been.

At last one of the two had decided to speak. "Listen, Serena." Serena interrupted him, not looking up to him just yet. "Don't speak. we have a daughter together, lets just realize that, lets comprehend it.a child of passionate moments, a daughter we will raise together for all eternity, a daughter we can be proud of, we have millions of people to tell about little Serenity, we have a baby.why ruin that moment over-"

"Serena listen." She looked up to him, silencing him with her teary eyes.

"I love you Darien. I always will.but" At that moment, not letting Serena finish, the nurse arrived again.

"Hello again, does little Serenity have a last name yet?"

Serena nodded cooing at the child at the same time.

"Serenity." She looked to Darien with a smile. "Chiba."

"Well ok then... I'll be back with the paper work."

Darien smiled widely at Serena. She was still his, and he was never going to lose her, and he would make sure of that.

"You know Serena, I never got to finish asking you what I was before the whole birth and Annabel thing."

A scoff escaped the weary blonde.

"I think I have an idea of what it is, but go ahead."

"Oh you do? Do you." Darien smirked.

"Yes I do." She replied as-a-matter-of-factly, "You're going to ask me to marry you."

Darien blushed slightly. "And do you have any idea of what your answer is going to be?" He asked.

"As a matter of fact I do Darien.I'd love to." She kissed him deeply, holding Serenity close to her chest.

There were their problems, but what relationship doesn't have them? To every problem there is a solution, and what better solution then love it self. A future they would plan, and a child to raise, would be hard. but they had love, faith and each other, a barrier that could never be broken.